Marvelous Mutations

Luke stared at the news broadcast, his eyes wide with disbelief. On the screen, the so-called "green monster" was still rampaging through the New York military base, flipping tanks and ripping through barricades like tissue paper.

His head throbbed.

"I clearly told him to deal with the soldiers," Luke muttered. "Not start a goddamn war."

What part of that translated into "declare open conflict with the United States military?"

He slumped into his chair, hand covering his face. This was way beyond anything he could handle. After all, he was just a grocery store owner. A guy with a few mutated gadgets, a lucky cat, and one oversized dog, who apparently couldn't follow some simple orders without causing massive destruction.

"Why does this have to happen to me?"

And sure, the U.S. military wasn't exactly top-tier in the Marvel Universe… but still. Even the cannon fodder could cause problems.

"Damn it, Doggo," Luke growled, he just realized that his biggest asset turned out to also be his biggest liability.

Still, something on the screen caught his attention. As the camera zoomed in on the creature's massive, snarling face, Luke squinted.

"Wait… that's not Doggo."

At least, not the Doggo he knew.

This beast was completely green, bulging with muscles, glowing eyes, and a terrifying snarl. It looked like someone shoved the Hulk into a dog costume.

"Doggo's transformation has three heads," Luke muttered, leaning closer to the screen. "This thing's got one. Big. Green. Head."

He sat up straighter, eyes narrowing.

"Right. Not my dog. Nope. Never seen that thing in my life."

From now on, if anyone asked, he would just say he had no idea what they were talking about.

"A giant green dog? No clue. My dog clearly has three heads."

…

Meanwhile, deep beneath the New York military base, chaos was brewing.

Inside a secured underground facility, General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross was in full meltdown mode. He stormed across the command center, barking orders while soldiers scrambled to follow.

Before him stood Havok and his unit, heads bowed, still slightly dazed from recent events, and from the mountain of groceries stacked in the back of their vehicle.

"You went to the store," Ross growled, "to capture the target. And you came back… with detergent, snacks, and an ashtray?!"

"Technically, sir, we also got some ramen," one soldier offered.

"And I got some much needed bubblegum!" Another one jumped.

"SHUT UP!"

Ross's voice echoed through the room. Then he turned on Havok.

"You want to go back to that store? You want another chance to screw up?"

"I just thought… maybe, should we perhaps…"

He didn't get to finish.

Ross kicked him hard in the gut, sending him sprawling.

"You want to redeem yourself? Then get outside and help deal with the giant green dog trashing my base!"

Ross could barely contain his fury. Not only had this group bungled their mission, but now his base was under siege by what looked like a Hulk-dog hybrid.

"The damn thing's digging like it knows something's down here," he muttered.

His eyes flicked to a nearby monitor showing security footage of the monster tearing up the ground above the underground chamber.

"It's trying to break in."

Ross turned to his adjutant.

"Send reinforcements to Subject One's containment room. Now. I don't care how many men it takes, just make sure he doesn't escape."

Subject One, also known as Bruce Banner, the Hulk, was currently locked up deep underground. In this timeline, his escape had been prevented thanks to Doggo's earlier three-headed rampage, which disrupted the original course of events.

Ross had never been more grateful in his life… or more afraid.

…

Above ground, the battle still raged.

Explosions rocked the military base. The green beast tore through everything, bunkers, fences, armored vehicles, with primal ferocity.

Havok and his squad finally arrived at the frontline, armed and armored.

"...Holy crap," Havok whispered as he took in the scene.

The creature was massive, easily as tall as the Hulk, but much more terrifying. Its jaws could bite through metal like candy, and its muscles rippled with every move.

A few soldiers tried firing at it and the beast didn't even flinch.

Anti-tank rounds bounced off its hide like rubber balls.

"Uh, sir?" one of Havok's teammates muttered. "I think we brought the wrong kind of ammo."

But then something unexpected happened.

The monster stopped.

It lifted its head, nose twitching, it sniffed the air once. Twice.

Then it turned its glowing green eyes straight toward Havok and his team.

"...Did it just smell us?" Havok asked, suddenly uneasy.

In the blink of an eye, the beast bounded forward, closing the distance in a matter of seconds.

Before they could react, it was standing right in front of them.

Its massive frame loomed overhead.

Its eyes were… joyful?

"What the hell?" Havok whispered. "Why is it… wagging its tail?"

The entire squad froze as the beast looked at them with a bizarre mix of familiarity and excitement.

Like a dog finding its long-lost toy.

"Guys?" Havok said slowly. "Why does it look like it's happy to see us?"

"...Is it grinning?"

For a long moment, no one moved.

Havok stared.

His team stared.

The dog stared back, tongue hanging out.

"Okay," Havok said finally. "Now I'm really confused."

…