Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman

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Tony Stark's public humiliation was quickly tossed to the back of his mind he was never one to dwell on failure.

After writing two checks one as a donation to the university library, the other as hush money for the poor guy who had to reformat the infected machine he turned and left without a second thought.

Cracking the Joker Virus would have to wait until he got home. He didn't like the feel of the clunky school keyboard, and the mystery behind "CK" intrigued him. That, he decided, was worth a deep dive.

Now, seated in a lounge with a few fellow computer nerds, Tony was still digesting what had happened.

> "Wait, you're telling me… I was hacking into a decoy server?"

Tony's tone was half disbelief, half irritation.

"Yup," one of the guys nodded. "That's the conclusion we came to after comparing notes with others who've tried. Also, you went about it wrong right from the start."

> "Wrong how?"

Tony bristled at the accusation he wasn't used to being told he was wrong.

"The first clue from CK literally said, 'You have ten minutes to protect yourself, not attack me.' You were never supposed to hack in. You were supposed to defend."

Tony wanted to argue that if he could've broken into the system, he could've stopped the virus from triggering altogether. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized…

The actual host machine he'd accessed was just a sandbox. A fake. A dummy environment. That's why he never found any code linked to the Joker Virus. It wasn't just a clever program it was a trap. One he walked right into.

> "Has anyone tracked down where the BBS is hosted?"

Tony asked. He was already thinking about taking this fight offline.

"Yeah, we traced the IP to University of Chicago. But according to folks over there, no one from their server room installed it. Even their own server logs don't show the BBS existing."

> "What the hell?"

In this early era of hacking, most battles were still just virus vs. antivirus. Network deception and misdirection weren't common tactics at least, not yet.

It wasn't that Tony wasn't smart enough. He just hadn't imagined someone pulling that move. It was… unprecedented.

In the hacker circles, he could guess who "KM" and "LT" were probably even traded barbs with them on other BBS forums. "LT" especially was known in some academic circles.

But this mysterious "CK"?

That alias was new.

> "Who the hell is CK? Don't tell me it's Calvin Klein selling underwear online now."

Tony snarked, earning a round of chuckles.

"No one knows," someone replied. "So far, nobody's come forward claiming the handle."

What no one realized was that the mastermind behind the Joker BBS was, at that very moment, browsing academic journals in the Caltech library Henry, fresh off his movie stunt gig and a quick lunch.

He'd heard about the chaos in the computer area but didn't care. He was more interested in combing through internal technical reports and unlisted academic papers those rough-draft studies not polished enough for publication but often brimming with raw creativity.

And while Tony was still piecing together the Joker puzzle, someone else entered the lounge and headed straight for trouble: a foreign student from Monaco named Justin Hammer.

Turns out, not everyone was scared of offending Tony Stark. While most people were dying to win the favor of the Stark heir and land a job at Stark Industries, Justin Hammer was cut from a different cloth.

He came swaggering in with his entourage, immediately shooed away the nerds around Tony, and took a seat across from him like he owned the place.

None of the geeks dared protest. It wasn't like Tony was about to stand up for them.

Legs crossed smugly, Hammer said,

> "Heard the Joker made you his clown. Some 'Stark genius' you turned out to be. Your father would be so disappointed."

He knew exactly which buttons to push.

Tony clenched his jaw.

> "Shut your filthy mouth. If it's already full of dog shit, don't open it and make the rest of us suffer."

"Oh? So the self-proclaimed genius fails a little challenge, and no one's allowed to mention it? What's next you gonna start parading around in invisible robes while we all clap and pretend you're not exposed?"

> "I can accept failure. Can you? Or are you still plagiarizing other people's work and pretending it's yours? You swap 'A' for 'B' and think it's original. Congratulations, genius."

"That's called refinement, Stark. I identify flaws and fix them. Results are what matter and mine are better than yours. You're just jealous."

> "Jealous? Of you?" Tony scoffed. "Name one success you've had. Just one. I must be out of the loop because I haven't seen anything with your name on it."

Hammer smirked and slapped a printout on the table.

> "Remember NASA's Challenger launch, originally scheduled for July 22, 1985? The mission got delayed, but my calculations showed that even if they had launched, their reentry trajectory would've been flawed. They would've burned up on reentry. My math saved them."

Tony gave the sheet a quick glance and sneered.

> "NASA's math was wrong, but so is yours. You two mocking each other is just a comedy of errors."

> "Where's my mistake, huh? Show me!"

> "If it's that simple, anyone with half a brain could spot it. Oh wait, sorry did I just reveal your lack of one? Hope you don't sue me for leaking classified info."

> "Bullshit! This isn't some middle school problem!"

Justin snapped his fingers at a passing student. "Hey, you! Yeah, you get over here. Try solving this."

The confused guy he flagged down was none other than Henry, who was on his way out after hearing a message on his answering machine.

He didn't recognize anyone in the group, and for a moment considered just walking off. But since he was dragged in and asked for an answer, Henry ever the helpful Kryptonian glanced at the paper, did a quick mental calculation, and gave a third figure.

One that differed from both Tony's and Justin's.

> "That's the right answer," Tony immediately chimed in, eyes lighting up. "It matches my number."

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