Married To The Mad Vampire Lord

In the depth of the night, in another room that was given to the vampire duke, he stood frozen in the center of the chamber, unable to move. His eyes stared sightlessly at the flickering candle in the room that illuminated the space. He had meant to open his mind link and leave his connection with Rav in case of any emergency, especially with Angel, but he had not intended to listen to the grief in the man's mind and heart, nor to his words.

Rav had a son? He had lost his family in that attack on Raventown? The attack on the village...

Every muscle in Rohan's body stilled, and he staggered to sit on the chair in front of the fireplace before his legs gave way. His fingers threaded into his hair and dragged down his face.

That attack... had it killed his son and family?

How had he not known?

Rohan felt a deep remorse consume him for the very first time in his life. He had never thought something he had done a long time ago would come back at him like this. If Belle and their son had never been in his life, he wouldn't have felt terrible for what he had done then, he wouldn't have been this bothered by the realization that hit him.

He had never tried to put himself in another person's shoes, but he did just that now. Someone had lost a wife and a son because of that attack, an innocent boy...

Many years ago, he had sent those rogues to that village out of fun. He had caused the attack on that little village.

He had done it to find amusement in people's pain and to watch them suffer. It was his doing. But he had never thought of them as anything but food; that was what every human had been to him then, and he had liked to disrupt their peace at any given opportunity he had.

He had carefully made the plan to terrorize a human town, and Raventown had been the closest to Nightbrook. That day, the late king had punished him for something, leaving him in pain and deeply hurt. He had felt the urge to inflict pain on another person to feel better, he had wanted so badly to watch others suffer like he had.

That was how the idea had come into his head.

Even after knowing Rav came from that town after saving him years ago, Rohan had not bothered to tell him or cared about who he had lost, because to him, people didn't mean anything, everyone could die for all he cared. He had not asked which family members he lost and had naturally assumed he was some nobody in that village who didn't want to die.

Rav had accepted his fate so fast and pledged his loyalty to Rohan that one wouldn't think he had lost people dear to him.

Now, to hear he had a family and a son he seemed to love with all his heart, Rohan's own heart constricted. He fisted his hand and began to strike it against his chest to get rid of the feeling of regret.

What had he done?

He could never imagine losing Angel or Belle, never. The thought was unthinkable to him. But he had made Rav lose everything because he had been looking for momentary amusement. He recalled once when Rav had asked,

"My Lord, what were you doing in Raventown that time we were under attack by the rogues?"

Rohan had shrugged and remarked uninterestedly, "Just passing by."

Rav, who had no reason to suspect that his master was responsible for that attack and no reason to help the humans given his nature, had nodded, believing him. "I wish I had noticed you before it was too late."

That was all he said before he had left Rohan alone, and Rohan had not put any meaning into those words. Now he knew what he had meant. I wish I had noticed you there before my family burned down.

"You are a fucking bastard, Rohan!" he gritted to himself as he stared at the ceiling, wishing with everything in him that he could change his wrongs and prevent that attack.

Unable to remain in the room any longer, Rohan got up and went out through the window, opening his wings and flying out into the night. The feeling in his heart grew heavier and more unbearable. He wanted it to stop. He didn't like it. He didn't want to feel like a monster for the very first time in his life, but that was exactly what he felt like, a heartless monster who had killed someone else's family.

A bitter taste consumed his mouth, and he felt like throwing up. He felt sick to his guts. Rohan wrapped his fingers around his throat. "I don't want to feel like this, damnit..." he groaned to himself. He had gotten his emotions and heart back a long time ago, but not all the emotions had hit him yet. Whenever they did, he had accepted them and learned to feel them. But he belatedly realized remorse and self-hate weren't something he liked. They tasted bad, they made him sick. He wanted it to stop! All of it!

'I can make it stop, son. You didn't do anything wrong,' came a voice he recognized instantly in his mind, the voice of the demon king he had shut out and fought off for months now. But now, being vulnerable, the demon had found a way back into his head again.

'Come back to where you belong, and you will stop feeling emotions you don't want. That man is a nobody, and you don't have to feel bad for sparing his family from poverty and killing them. You are a demon. Demons are not supposed to let themselves feel for someone else. Don't try to fit into his shoes or you will feel his pain and loss as if they are yours.'

The demon king could tell the boy was vulnerable because he had just made another mistake by opening a part of his heart, putting himself in the place of someone else, just like he had made himself fall madly in love. Demons usually buried their emotions and hardened their hearts from infancy, but not being raised in the world where he should have been had left him ignorant of the way his own body worked, and of the heart inside him, which he had gotten back after living long without it.

'The heart of a demon can be his strength and his downfall. You don't belong in that world, son. Come back home, and I will teach you how to be more than what you are. I can help you harden your heart and not feel too deeply anymore. You have let it loose too far, and now you will suffer the consequences.'

Instead of feeling better after knowing it was his heart making him take things too deeply and forcing him to imagine he was in Rav's place, Rohan's anger mounted, to the point he wished the demon was standing in front of him so he could beat the hell out of him and unleash all his rage. He was already feeling bad about his past actions; he didn't need a damn heartless demon whispering words in his head.

'Son_'

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!" Rohan roared into the sky, his voice sounding like the clap of thunder.

'Your emotions are making you weak, young one. You should never have let your heart love. Love is the biggest weakness to us. Mark my words, you will come to me someday, son. You will need my help very soon.'

The voice faded away while Rohan roared his anger again into the night sky. But the sickness in his body made him descend from the sky and collapse to his knees on the ground his finger sinking into the grasses brutally, his body trembled uncontrollably as if it wanted to expel the feeling of remorse inside him.

---

The next morning, even before the sun rose over the horizon, Belle had woken up. She hadn't truly slept well, not after Rohan had left. She had asked for distraction, and he had given her just that. Whenever she thought about how he had sucked on her and devoured her milk, her toes curled under the sheet and heat rose to her neck.

She had thought he would make love to her, but instead he left her after he had enough, leaving her to think about him all through the night until she barely allowed the worrisome thoughts of Isabelle and the Marchant to trouble her mind.

Though she felt underslept, she was happy that she had gotten to see him and Angel last night and would probably see them again tonight. Belle got up to start her morning, but no hot water was brought to her even after hours of waiting, when she had already woken up.

She realized after some time that she was expected to go and prepare her own bath, just like she had been doing in the past in the Dawsons' house. Belle had no problem with fixing her own bath, but before that, she decided she needed to get her things back from Eve.