Love You More Than I Can

Chapter 38: Slap Herself Hard in the Face
Translator: Mia
Yu Lan was so anxious that she grovelled on ground, trying to find anywhere a kid could hide. She kept calling Qibao by her name in a heart-broken way, “Qibao” “Qibao, how about not playing hike-and-seek with mom? I see, you don’t want to see mom again. Mom apologizes to you. Mom really can’t remember what has happened. You can just ignore mom and play with daddy later. Is that alright? Qibao!”

Sheng Youting’s heart was broken when he saw such a humble Yu Lan.

She thought she was ill again and hurt Qibao. However, she didn’t know that it was him who hurt Qibao.

If it were not for his insane act to turn Yu Yi into Yu Lan, things wouldn’t happen like this way.

Sheng Youting grabbed Yu Lan by her shoulders tightly to lift her up from the root of the wall in the basement by the window, “Lan, I’ve called the police and sent my people to look for Qibao. Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

Yu Lan couldn’t remember how cold she was when confronting with Sheng Youting in the past, but she knew that she was so vulnerable now to withstand a single blow.

She covered her face with hands, daring not to face anyone, “What should I do? I’m such a psycho! How can I unable to remember anything after I have done things wrong! Qibao treasures me in her heart and trusts me totally. However, I hurt her. She doesn’t want to see me now. Is it because that I want to throw her away by bringing her out when I get ill again? How can I become such a bad woman!”

Yu Lan couldn’t help shivering with her shoulders after her own words. She slapped herself hard in the face. She hated herself to death!

Frightened by her act, Sheng Youting grabbed and held her hands tightly. He hugged her with force. He was breathing hard, fearing she would continue to hurt herself, “Lan, it’s not your fault! Not your fault! You didn’t bring Qibao out. It was another person! Another bad person!”

“However, the servants and bodyguards all saw me! They saw it was me who took Qibao out!” Indulged in the unforgivable thing she had done, Yu Lan lifted her head and hit it hard against Sheng Youting’s shoulders. She struggled desperately and her emotion was about to be out of control!

Sheng Youting had never seen her like this since he lived with her again. He couldn’t bear to think how she suffered and treated herself when she fell ill in the past. All he could do was to hug her tightly and yell loudly, “Send for a doctor! Be quick!”

“You also know I’m ill! You know I would hurt people, aren’t you?! People like me shouldn’t be existed in the world, isn’t it?! I should even hurt my own daughter! I’m not even a man!” Yu Lan now was like a crazy demon, attacking everyone in her sight. Her sadness and sufferings wanted a way out. She tried hard to control herself. She lifted her wrist and bit it tightly!

Sheng Youting failed to stop her even by pinching her mouth open. Then he sent his wrist into her mouth instead!

Seeing what Sheng Youting had done, Yu Lan couldn’t help crying though she bit the wrist hard with her teeth. The Sheng Youting before her eyes became more and more blurred. However, she could hear his repetitive comforts, “Lan, it’s not your fault. You are not ill again. You will get better. Lan, Lan…”

Each word uttered by him was in a gentle and soft way with care. A taste of blood came to Yu Lan’s mouth and she swallowed it bit by bit.

Yu Lan’s teeth were losing their strength. The sedative injected by the doctor became to work.

Her emotion got more and more steady. Sheng Youting carried her then with his arms. Yu Lan still looked at Sheng Youting with her blurred watered eyes. However, her eyes began to lose their focuses and her voice was so low that one could hardly hear, “She has already suffered a developmental delay because of a premature delivery due to my fault. I owe her. How can I bear to bit her? She is the apple of my eye. I’m trying to protect her from any possible harm. How could I even want to bring her out and throw her away? I’m not a demon. If I can’t find her back, I don’t want to live either. No need to live either.”