Chapter 30: 1.26: An Unbreakable Bond
"What now?" asks Zee. Pan is looking outside the balcony in panic. The knock on the door hasn't been stopping.
"Ma... Wake up! It's already late!" Shu keeps calling Pan's name.
"Jump from the balcony!"
Zee glances at Pan, his eyes are in fury.
"You want me to die or what?!"
"It's not that high!"
They keep pushing and pulling each other.
"Ma! You better wake up now!" Shu probably is losing her patience. Pan pushes Zee out to the balcony.
"You can use the water drain to climb down..."
"Wow, seems like you have some experience!"
"Ai kwaii, no time for arguing! Just jump!"
Pan pushes Zee away when the man suddenly grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him. They halt for a bit, staring at each other's eyes.
Time feels like stopping.
"Zee... You have to go now. Please..." Pan pleads. Zee stares at Pan. He suddenly feels reluctant to let her go. Her morning face is still beautiful and captivating even after four years. That eyes. That nose. That lips.
They never fail to make Zee's heart beat like crazy!
Softly, Zee lingers his hand against Pan's neck. He pulls her head towards him, planting a kiss on her forehead. That action makes Pan fall into shock. She stares at Zee with her eyes wide open.
From there, he slowly lets the woman go and climbs down using the water drain pipe. Pan, still stoic with Zee's move, stands like a stone on the balcony.
"Mama!"
Luckily, Shu's voice brings her back to reality. She quickly runs towards the door and opens it, pretending to be sleepy.
"Shu... What's with the yell, bunny..."
"I know you're tired, but it's almost twelve!" Shu glances at Pan.
"Hah? Wow, that's quite late!" Pan, again, pretends to act innocent and clueless. She rubs her neck and gives out the best pretentious yawn.
"Ma... Are you a business student majoring in acting?" Shu glares at Pan. She stares at her daughter, face falls into a deep shock.
"Where did you learn that?!"
"From Aunty Mei. She learns from the series that she watches," Pan's lips form a straight line.
That Yaoi Girl! No wonder that sounds so familiar! Pan gushes internally.
"Ma...." Shu starts whining. Pan immediately hugs her daughter tight.
"Mama miss you too, bunny..." Shu pushes Pan away a bit when the mother thinks that she misses her.
Looks like she doesn't.
"Who sent you home last night? Is it Uncle Zee?"
"What? No!" Pan gushes harshly. "I mean, I came home by myself..." She immediately tone down her voice when she sees Shu is glaring at her and immediately swats Pan with her sassy attitude.
"You better improve your lying skill, Ma! The garage is empty!"
Pan almost smacks her mouth. Shu is good at catching her lying. Although she is aware of this, still, she dares to lie to her!
"Fine! My friend sent me home last night!" Pan gives up and confesses. Shu smirks at her, satisfied by her winning against her mother.
"Uncle Zee?"
"Nope. Another friend..."
"I thought he promised to send you home?"
"Bunny, do you think he has no life aside from acting chaperone for me?" Pan's words are getting harsher due to her frustration. She feels that Shu should consider herself lucky to have all the love from Pan, or else, Pan would be more sarcastic than this.
"I just wanna emphasize the promise that he made-"
"And you still buying that?" Pan gazes deep into Shu's eyes. The girl shuts herself at once.
"Bunny, it's time for Mama to teach you how not to put trust in anyone rather than yourself..." Pan makes her daughter sit on her bed.
Pan stares at Shu's innocent look. She's still a baby for her. A 4-year-old girl, should learn only innocent matters in life, but Pan is not like any mother in the world. The hardships that she had been through before were the best life lessons for her.
And she wants Shu to learn it as well.
"Before we met Uncle Zee, I thought life was fine for us. It's only you and me. And Aunty Mei, Aunty Sofia, Uncle Dan, and Win..." says Pan. "But, why do you suddenly want Uncle Zee to be a part of our life? You barely know him, and you already trust him to take care of me. What if one day, he hurts me? Or you?" asks Pan.
The girl blinks her eyes slowly. Her head moves down as her small little finger fidgeting.
"Ma. You were talking as if Uncle Zee is a bad guy..." Shu softly projects her voice.
Pan bums. She sighs as she closes her eyes. The image of Zee; coming home late and drunk, ignoring her when she got sick, caging her inside the house just because she talked to his friend at the market, prohibited her from having a normal life as a teenager, his anger management issue, fighting, frequent visitation to the police station, and many more that Pan refuses to recall one more time.
How can she tell Shu all about this? The horror feeling of truth stops her from doing that.
"I didn't say that Uncle Zee is a bad guy. I only want you to learn not to trust people blindly..."
"I can trust Uncle Zee,"
"Shu... Even if he is a nice guy, you have to understand. Zee has his own life. And we have ours. One day, he will walk away from us. At that moment, it will be hard for you to move on if you attach too much to him," Pan carefully sorts her words so Shu won't get hurt, but at the same time she too, wanna relay her feelings.
"No. Uncle Zee will stay, no matter what..."
"Don't be stubborn, bunny..."
"He promised that he would stay..."
"Bunny... Control yourself..."
"No! Uncle Zee will never leave us!"
"Shu! How many times do I have to tell you?! Zee is no one to us! And we are no one to him! Why are you acting so stubborn?! Why are you liking him too much?! You never know him like I do! He will hurt you! He will make you suffer!" Pan is in her last straw. How she wishes she could slap Shu so she can come to an epiphany.
But violence is not a good answer.
"You don't understand! Uncle Zee makes me feel like I'm having a father!"
"Am I not enough to be both for you Shu?"
"No! You'll never understand!" the girl runs out of the room, crying her eyes out.
"Shu! Come back here!" Pan chases her furiously. She runs down the stairs, looking for Shu.
"Shu!"
Pan's feet halt as she stares at the main door. Shu is crying in Zee's embrace, with the man looking at her helplessly. Mei stands behind him with Sofia.
"Uncle Zee, you won't leave me, right?" asks Shu between sobs. Zee keeps his sight on Pan. And then, he slowly caresses Shu's hair and pulls away his body from her.
"Who told you that, bunny?"
"Mama told me that one day you're gonna leave us!" Zee held a huge sigh. He watches the girl wiping her tears.
"No. I will not leave you. I promise,"
Shu cries again. This time, it's not as loud as before. Pan watches them, feeling choking inside.