Losing My Religion

Amber

Once I got over myself, sex between Sophia and I was intoxicating.

She was insatiable, and the days blended together as we took the excuse of needing to stay hidden from my mother – which wasn’t valid anymore – way too seriously. Meals were consumed and showers were taken at any hour, the sun’s light having no meaning on our eternal frantic dance. We fueled our respective angst and frustration at our situation into each other’s bodies, leaving each of us with our own smattering of angry marks from overzealous mouths.  

Then, as I came down from one of my highs, sweaty and full of bliss, I glanced at my phone, checking for any notifications, and saw the date. “Shit, they’re supposed to be back in…” my tired mind strained to remember if we’d ever agreed upon a time, “Well, sometime between six hours ago and eighteen hours from now.”

Sophia lifted her head from between my legs, brushing her tangled blonde hair from her face and making a face like she was about to sneeze. “Shoot,” she said, climbing off of me and out of bed to look for clothes to throw on.

I followed suit, stealing a loose cream sundress out of her closet and throwing it over no underwear, thankful that the dress covered my chest enough for the trip back to my dorm. 

We quickly made our way outside, discussing whether they’d be showing up where they left or if we’d have to go find them somewhere, and what we were going to do if my mother tried to intervene. We didn’t have a confident answer for either.

—

Our anxious waiting was finally put to an end by a phone call from Lily in the late morning, telling us they’d popped out across town, that she had a lot to tell us but it could wait until we met up.

Sophia and I were ecstatic just to hear their voices, and although Lily tried to insist otherwise, I wanted to meet her halfway before escorting her back home.

A short planning session later and we were set to meet outside a train station closer to us than to Lily. On the way there, my heart thumped and jolted at every old lady Sophia and I walked past, every person that looked the slightest bit like a witch I used to know. 

A long walk, a short train ride, and a short walk later and I finally saw Lily and Katie. I threw my arms around my girlfriend, picking her up and spinning around as she giggled and relief flooded my body.

Once I had my fill, I handed her off to Sophia and went in for a hug on Katie. Neither of them looked as weary as I’d expected – I knew that spending a week away from home could be stressful and tiring, regardless of where it was, and I’d worried that Hell would be hard to live in.

We completed our greetings and then it came time for news.

Lily started the conversation, asking if we’d come up with a solution. At my shameful shark of my head, she began her story, also starting our trip home. “So first off, you don’t have to tell me you opened my letter, I can smell you both and you smell delicious,” she coughed, “Anyways, we have a few ideas, but nothing concrete.” She then proceeded to explain that Hell was neat, demons were chill – her words not mine – and that she’d met up with her very much not dead mom and her family. 

I then told them about what happened with my mom, and unfortunately Katie was as baffled as I was, not having an answer when I asked whether she wanted to return to the coven like nothing had happened, despite the possibility that our mother knew she was a demon. 

Then came the awkward part. “Um, so during that conversation with my mom, she said her sister’s name was Zamira, and Sophia said…”

Lily gasped, “Oh… Your mom is Scarlet. That means…”

“We aren’t talking about it?” I suggested.

She nodded, “That works for me, cuz’.”

I gagged. “Never say that again, or I’m leaving and taking Sophia with me.”

Sophia watched the two of us, amused and not denying my assertion.

I cleared my throat, eager to move on. “So, any other news you need to share?”

The four of us stepped onto the train and found two seats, which were given to me and Sophia.

Lily sat on our laps, throwing me a cheeky smile before adopting a more serious expression to answer my question. “Well you know how I said I could control my fertility with magic…?” She started.

Katie, standing in front of us, covered her ears and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Oh. So are you…?”

Lily’s head whipped back and forth, smacking me with her hair. “No, but I did get a stern lecture from my grandma along with a bunch of magic condoms, so…”

“So you want to try them out,” I finished, snaking my hand around her to massage the top of her thigh through her long dress.

“Yesss,” she hissed, “but only once we figure out what to do about Katie.” She turned her head and pecked me on the nose, “I love you so much. I missed you both, and I can’t wait to see what you two discovered while I was gone.”

Sophia leaned into Lily, her hand massaging Lily’s other thigh. “I could show you right now…” she whispered, her voice just as much of a caress as her hand.

Katie glared down at us, “Don’t make me get a spray bottle…”

That shut us up, at least for now, and we remained remarkably well behaved, despite the urges I had to find the nearest bathroom and have my way with Lily. 

I missed topping…

—

“I’m going back.”

I stared at my little sister, trying to find the interpretation of her statement that made sense. She must mean going back to live in the coven, right? My gaze instinctually searched for my girlfriends, wanting their backup, but the two of them were off in Lily’s room doing more catchup while I talked with Katie. I regretted splitting up.

“It’s safer, I don’t have to hide who I am, I can actually study the things I’m interested in,” she counted off her reasons, sticking a finger out for each one, “And best of all when I go to school in Hell, no one will fucking mess with me for being gay.”

“But…” I don’t want you to leave… “it’s Hell…” 

“Amber…” She shuffled over on the couch, leaning her shoulder on mine, not really embracing me but still offering love all the same. “It’s safe – I promise. You can ask Lily, I’m sure she’d agree that there’s no safer place for me to be. And it’s where I belong…”

We both sighed, and my hand came up to ruffle her hair. The fact that she was slightly taller than me was something I still hadn’t gotten used to despite the fact that her biggest growth spurt had started well before middle school.

“You can visit me, and I can visit you, but the possibility was always there that one of us would move away.”

My hand continued its motions, even as my gaze fell in front of me, following my drooping posture.

“Amber, I love you, and you’re more of a mom to me than that bitch ever was,” she puffed out a laugh, “even if you can be a bit of an idiot sometimes…”

“I…” another sigh escaped me, “Don’t call your mother an idiot,” I joked, my resigned tone not letting either of us laugh. 

“We’ll see each other soon, and eventually I’ll have a bigger polycule than you,” Katie stuck her tongue out, “Now let's go tell the other two and send me home so you can get on celebrating your girlfriend's return.”

I laughed, surprised she hadn't told Lily her plans, given the fact that I’d picked up on the two being closer since their trip. We disentangled, got off the couch, and joined the other two women in Lily’s bedroom.

Lily saw us first, laying on her bed facing us in her demon form, while Sophia was behind her, face buried in Lily’s hair. Lily’s eyes darted between Katie’s face and mine, and she sat up, evidently understanding the weight of the conversation.

Sophia followed her, blinking drowsiness out of her eyes and yawning – both things I desperately wanted to do as well, given how little sleep we’d been getting. 

Katie sat in the desk chair, and I stood behind her instead of joining my girlfriends, wanting to support my sister more than anything else – even though I had a lingering bitterness in my throat at the thought of her going away.

My little sister began, nervously settling her hands together in her lap, “So I’m going back to live in Hell – permanently.”

The two women on the bed sat in stupefied silence for a moment before reacting, Sophia simply shrugging and Lily’s eyes darting to my face, looking for something.

I clarified, “I’m not thrilled about it, but she explained her reasons to me, and it makes sense. Unless you think it’d be particularly dangerous…” 

Lily shook her head, “No, not dangerous, but there is a limit on how often we can go back and forth,” her eyes settled onto the floor, “I guess I can see why, I just hadn’t considered Katie would want to move before me…”

I leaned onto the chair, causing it to creak, “You were planning on leaving?” I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice in my surprise.

She winced, curling in on herself, “No, not anytime soon – unless you two wanted to,” she sighed, “I was planning on taking you on a trip there sometime soon because I think you’d enjoy it, and I wanted to gauge interest in moving there, but… Well I was planning on telling you two this once we got time alone, but concubi live for hundreds of years…”

“Oh.” I blinked. I knew that… so why does being reminded of it feel like such a punch in the gut? It’s not like it’ll even matter to me; I’ll be dead. She’s the one that has to deal with being alive for so long.

“Let’s worry about that later,” Sophia interjected, “The two of us dying of old age is less of a concern right now than us breaking up – and I’m sure someone out there has researched life-extending magic.”

I nodded along with Lily, even as my feelings insisted that the issue was more important than that. “So, we’re getting Katie ready to go back as soon as possible?”

More nods answered my question.

As much as I want time alone with my girlfriends, I still don’t want her to leave…