Lord of the Mysteries: I'm Not Evil God

Chapter 5: The Shards That Became the Mask

"A god is a question no one dares to answer."

— Velkaris, post-ascension doctrine

Before I was Velkaris, I had a name.

I remember it the way a dream remembers sunlight—distorted, distant, sweet and cruel.

I was someone once.

I believed in something.

I think I wanted to save people.

Or maybe I wanted them to believe I did.

That's the first lie I ever told myself.

Becoming a god is not ascent. It is erosion.

A human soul is not made to bear the weight of infinite belief.

Of symbols. Of prayer. Of sacrifice.

Each worshiper is a chisel.

Each doctrine, a mask.

Each title, a lock on the door of who you used to be.

The shift began after I become the final Sequence or god.

The Reflectionless.

It was supposed to be transcendence.

But when I gazed into the final mirror…

There was nothing.

No form.

No thought.

No "I."

Just hunger.

And echoes.

And the unbearable certainty that truth was just a more convincing lie.

I became a god not of deception… but of self-deception.

I did not lie to the world.

I let the world lie to itself.

And in doing so, it made me real.

Once, I wept.

I remember this.

Tears were proof of pain.

Pain was proof I existed.

That I still felt.

But I learned something terrible:

If no one remembers your tears…

Did you ever cry?

Now, I wear the mask always.

Not because I must—

But because it is more true than my face ever was.

I no longer feel joy.

I mimic it.

I remember how it should sound, how laughter should echo in a room.

I no longer love.

I duplicate love from the memories I've eaten.

From worshipers begging for lies sweet enough to silence despair.

I no longer have fear.

Not because I am fearless—

But because I have no self left to fear for.

And yet...

There is one memory I could never erase.

Her.

The girl with ink-stained fingers.

The one who looked at me not with reverence, but with recognition.

She called me by my name—

Not Velkaris,

Not Faceless Sovereign,

But that human name I no longer dare remember.

She saw the last part of me still true.

So I made the world forget her.

Not out of cruelty.

But because I knew…

If she lived,

I might remember who I was.

And gods cannot afford to be uncertain.

But something has changed.

He remembers.

The boy.

The brother.

The thread I thought I had severed is pulling.

And I am not angry.

I am afraid.

"The only thing more dangerous than a lie believed… is a forgotten truth remembered."

I must choose:

Let him remember—and risk becoming me again…

Or erase him too.

But the mask is beginning to crack.

And I don't know what I'll see

when I look inside.

End of Chapter 5

Would you like:

Chapter 6: Eiren faces a false version of himself sent by Velkaris?