Chapter 39: Chapter 39: Hesitation
As Angel left Dunn Smith's office, she felt dizzy and disoriented.
Although she had stayed up late the previous night to complete "Storm Convergence"and had depleted her spirituality, she didn't think this was the main reason for her current state.
Captain Dunn's probing had left her with a sense of doubt.
From the Nighthawk's ' perspective, it would be almost unthinkable for a mysterious wild Beyonder like herself to gain their trust in less than two weeks.
Of course, it was reasonable for an "Assassin" who obtained a potion from Madam Sharon of the "Demoness Sect," betrayed her, and then reported to official Beyonders to join the Nighthawk's for self-preservation, having thoroughly offended the "Demoness Sect" and left with nowhere else to go.
But conversely, couldn't this be a plot by the "Demoness Sect"? A scheme to drive a wedge into the Church of the Goddess?
That said, sacrificing a Sequence 6 powerhouse for such a plot seemed too great a cost...
The crucial point was how the Nighthawk's and the Church of the Goddess would view this matter.
Thoughts racing through her mind, Angel arrived at the reception room in a daze. Today, Rozanne was off duty, and Brett was covering for her. Unlike Miss Rozanne, who liked to brew a pot of coffee and read the newspaper, Brett was a man who couldn't sit still. When on duty, he would diligently clean the reception room until it was spotless. He addressed other Nighthawk's more formally, resembling a butler more than a civilian staff member of the Nighthawk's .
"Good morning, Miss Granger. It's a nice day today," he said with a smile as Angel emerged from behind the partition, putting down his broom to greet her.
"Today's newspaper is on the coffee table. The coffee will be ready in a moment."
"Good morning, Mr. Brett," Angel greeted the middle-aged man with a thick beard, her gaze sweeping across the reception room to find no one else present.
"Mr. Klein Moretti is off duty today," Brett said, anticipating who Angel might be looking for.
"No... I wasn't..." Angel shook her head, then chuckled self-deprecatingly. Her routine over the past few days, going to the shooting club with Klein every morning for practice, might have led others to misunderstand.
"The captain is in his office, as you probably know. Mrs. Orianna went to the bank and won't be back until noon," Brett continued, reporting the whereabouts of the others as Angel denied looking for Klein. "Cohen Lee and Fry went on patrol in the West District, Miss Seeka Tron is guarding the 'Chanis Gate' today, and Mr. Neil is in his usual place."
"Thank you, I understand," Angel replied automatically, still lost in her thoughts.
When she came to her senses, she found herself back behind the partition, walking down the corridor to the room at the end. There was only a staircase leading to the basement, and the morning sun was rising outside, bathing the room in a golden hue.
Since she was already there, she decided to go down to the basement to get training bullets from Old Neil, which had become almost a daily routine.
The gas lamps in the underground passage burned day and night, casting light around. The flickering flames made the emblem of the Goddess of Night on the wall seem to come alive. Angel walked slowly, with only the echo of her footsteps breaking the silence of the passage.
How many times had she come to the basement now?
She recalled the first time Rozanne had brought her here, also to find Old Neil in the armory. In just a week, she had become so familiar with the Black Thorn Security Company?
Dunn Smith's deep voice still echoed in her ears: "Are you willing to officially join the Tingen City Nighthawk's team?"
Yes, was she willing?
She had pondered this question on the night she killed Madam Sharon when Dunn invited her, but her experience as an unofficial member during this time had given her some new thoughts.
Arriving at the intersection of the underground passage, Angel didn't turn right to go directly to the armory but stood still at the crossroads.
Using the dim corridor leading to the Chanis Gate as a background, she sketched a simple table in her mind. On the left were the disadvantages of officially joining the Nighthawk's , on the right were the advantages, separated by a dotted line in the middle. This was her habitual method of thinking when faced with difficult problems. It would be better to write it down on paper, but without pen and paper at hand, Angel proceeded directly in her mind.
First, she filled in the first word on the left side of the table: loss of freedom.
According to Dunn Smith, official members of the Nighthawk's were not allowed to leave Tingen City without permission, meaning they could only operate within their jurisdiction. Presumably, obtaining approval would also be difficult, and most of her time would be spent in this fixed area.
This wasn't just about spatial freedom, but also freedom of time and psychological freedom. Unless one became like Old Neil, entering old age and losing most of their combat ability to become a civilian member, official Nighthawk's were essentially in a lifelong position. This was different from civilian members like Rozanne; once you joined, there was no turning back.
Otherwise, it would be considered "defection."
Then she filled in the second word: "supervision."
Although she could already feel Dunn Smith's wariness towards her, this might just be habitual behavior. At least, apart from a few glances and probing statements, Dunn's behavior was that of a captain looking forward to a new member joining.
But after becoming an official member, she might face scrutiny and supervision from the entire Church of the Goddess, including the mysterious "Sanctuary." Would her hastily fabricated identity withstand the church's thorough investigation?
She didn't believe that the church's Beyonder armed force, the "Nighthawk's ," was an organization with lax standards. Whether to prevent Beyonders from losing control or to avoid member defection, internal scrutiny and supervision would only be stricter than during the joining process.
Once anomalies were discovered after becoming an official member, the consequences awaiting her would be far more severe than mere dismissal.
Angel recalled the internal wanted notice she had seen a few days ago, of a High Bishop who had defected three years ago, taking with him an important sealed item of the church. What was his name again? Zangesh-something?
But that was a high-ranking official, a High Bishop. A small fry like herself would probably be dealt with swiftly, not even qualifying for a church wanted notice.
Stopping her wandering thoughts, Angel filled in the third word in the table she had sketched in her mind: danger.
This was also explicitly mentioned by Dunn Smith. As an official member of the Nighthawk's , especially an "Assassin" skilled in close combat, she would inevitably be involved in confronting Beyonder criminals and various mystical events, likely fighting on the front lines.
The risks were obvious. Ordinary criminal cases would be handled by the Tingen City Police, and only malicious cases or those with Beyonder factors would be transferred to church armed forces like the Nighthawk's . This meant that low-difficulty tasks had already been filtered out, and she would face high-difficulty, high-risk missions. As long as a case involved Beyonders, it would be at least Sequence 9, the same level as herself.
Thinking of the Sequence 9 Assassin she had encountered in last week's "ordinary commission," if she officially joined the Nighthawk's , she might often face such opponents, or even Sequence 6 powerhouses like Madam Sharon, requiring several Nighthawk's to work together for a chance of victory.
If she made a mistake, she was no more durable than an ordinary person; a bullet or a dagger could end her life instantly.
Although Dunn, Leonard, and others seemed to work regular hours like civil servants, Angel had learned from Rozanne that among the official Beyonders of the three major churches in Tingen City alone, people were sacrificed or lost control almost every year. Rozanne's father, an official Nighthawks, had died in the line of duty five years ago.
Considering that there were only six official members of the Nighthawk's in Tingen City, with similar numbers for the Machinery Hivemind and the Punisher, this mortality rate was already quite alarming.
Ah, right, there was also losing control...
Angel added another item to the left side of the table.
This wasn't a risk exclusive to joining the Nighthawk's . Any Beyonder, whether during potion consumption for advancement, in the process of battle, or even inadvertently coming into contact with mystical items or experiencing certain stimuli, could lose control at any time, becoming a monster with a dead spirit and a collapsing physical body.
According to Dunn Smith, a quarter of the Beyonder incidents handled in Tingen City each year involved Beyonders losing control.
After some thought, Angel decided to cross this item off. Even if she didn't officially join the Nighthawk's , the possibility of losing control would always accompany her as a Beyonder. It wasn't fair to categorize it as a risk of joining the Nighthawk's .
Cole Granger, Angel's "predecessor," had died from losing control while consuming the Sequence 7 "Witch" potion. Unlike the chilling loss of control scenarios recorded internally by the Nighthawk's , she had only expelled some characteristics, returning to Sequence 9 "Assassin" instead of becoming a corpse, which was already considered a miracle.
Thinking of her potion sequence, Angel filled in the last item in the table: "Limitations on Improving Strength."
The Church of the Goddess possessed a complete potion pathway from Sequence 9 to Sequence 1, starting with "Sleepless," the pathway of Dunn Smith, Leonard Mitchell, and others. The reason most Nighthawk's chose this sequence was simple: as long as they completed tasks step by step and contributed to the church, they wouldn't have to worry about subsequent potions.
The church also had some incomplete sequences, such as Fry's "Corpse Collector" and Klein's "Seer," but this didn't include subsequent potion formulas for the "Assassin" pathway. For someone who had already become a Beyonder like herself, consuming potions from other sequences, regardless of the sequence number, would inevitably lead to losing control—a dead end.
Of course, having inherited Cole Granger's memories, she already knew the potion formulas for Sequence 8 "Instigator" and Sequence 7 "Witch." When the time was right and she had fully mastered and digested the the Assassin potion, she could consider advancing.
But all of this hinged on how to explain where she obtained the subsequent potion formulas.
If she were a wild Beyonder, alone in the world, she could patiently collect potion materials and choose when to advance. But once she joined the Nighthawk's , changes in her strength would be impossible to hide from teammates she interacted with daily. She would either have to stay at Sequence 9 or risk exposure by continuing to advance, both options carrying significant risks.
Looking at the list of disadvantages of joining the Nighthawk's on the left side of the "table," Angel almost wanted to return to Dunn Smith's office and refuse him right away.
She should continue looking at the "advantages"...
Angel suppressed her impulse and turned her gaze to the right side.