Lies, Love, and the Reason I Wanted to Die

Renji didn't expect kindness anymore, but he had gotten used to the rhythm of cruelty.

The morning silence was wrong.

No insults.No yelling.Not even the casual sneer from his sister as she passed his door.

He stepped into the kitchen. The lights were on. The table was set—for two.

His mother sat reading the paper. His sister scrolled on her phone, one leg crossed lazily over the other.

They didn't look up.Didn't greet him.Didn't even acknowledge he'd entered the room.

He opened the fridge.Empty shelves.No lunch. Not even leftovers.

"..."

He considered asking. Just a single word."Food?"But the words died before reaching his lips.

They weren't ignoring him out of distraction.

They were done with him.

He was the stain on the floor they stepped around. The shadow they pretended not to see.

Outside, the sky was a dull, cloudless gray. Warm air clung to him like dust. At school, the noise felt distant—like he was walking underwater. He slipped through the halls like smoke, unnoticed, unneeded.

In homeroom, the whispers had started again.

Barely a week into the school year.

Girls glancing at their phones. Boys smirking quietly. A boy two rows over leaned to his friend, not bothering to whisper.

"That guy in the back… Sakuragi? Something's off about him.""I heard he got into some serious trouble in middle school."

Renji heard. Of course he did.His ears always found the words meant to break him.

He checked his phone once, during break.

And there it was.

A post on the school's anonymous app. Simple. Brutal.

"Sakuragi Renji. Creepy guy in Class 1-B.""Rumors say he scared a girl so bad in middle school she cried to the teachers.""Can't believe they let someone like that in here."

No username. Just a blank icon and a throwaway handle.

The replies were worse.

"WTF why is he even in school?""Ew I sit near him in PE...""Anyone got a pic of his face?? I wanna make sure I stay away lol."

His hands didn't shake. His heart didn't race.

He just turned off the screen and slipped the phone into his desk.

It's happening again.And I don't even know who's doing it this time.

Lunch.

He left the classroom without a word. Took the back stairs. Climbed to the rooftop. Same as always.

The sky stretched out, endless and blank. A gentle breeze stirred his messy hair.

He sat in the corner by the railing, unwrapped the piece of bread from his pocket, and chewed slowly. His jaw ached, but he kept eating.

In his bag was the same notebook.

Worn pages. Faded ink. His escape plan.

"One more month.""Save enough. Then vanish.""No one will notice. No one will care."

He flipped to a new page and scrawled in the corner:

"It's easier to be hated than remembered."

A sound below. Soft laughter.

He looked down through the rooftop fence—just a glance.

Hina.

She stood outside the second-year hallway. A group of girls surrounded her, chatting, nudging her playfully. She laughed, but her eyes didn't sparkle.

Not like they used to.

Then—like a pull in the air—she looked up.

Their eyes met.

Her smile vanished instantly.

She froze, lips parting slightly.

Renji felt the breath catch in his throat. For a second, neither of them moved.

Then he looked away.

Turned his head to the sky.

Don't look at me. Not now.Not like that.

He stayed there for a long time. The wind blew harder. He didn't move.

The final bell rang.

Rain began to fall halfway home. No warning. Just a cold splash across the back of his neck.

He didn't run.

Didn't try to hide.

Just walked.

Shoes soaking. Hair dripping. Water running down the back of his uniform collar.

Some students passed with umbrellas. Couples shared jackets. Others ducked under store awnings, laughing.

He walked through it all, invisible.

But behind him, footsteps slowed.

He stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the light.

"...Renji."

That voice. Soft. Unsure.

He turned slightly.

Hina.Umbrella in hand, eyes wide, lips parted like she wasn't expecting him to stop.

The rain soaked through his uniform, dripping down his hair, his back, his fingers. He didn't say a word. He just stared at her.

Her eyes held something.

Regret?Longing?Guilt?

"Hina!"

A voice snapped the air like a whip.

Yuuto approached from behind her—dry, polished, sharp-eyed.He didn't even glance at Renji.

"I told you to wait. You'll get sick standing around like that."

He slid his umbrella over her head like it was habit. Possessive.Not kind.

Hina looked between them—Yuuto at her side, Renji soaking in silence, not moving.

She opened her mouth… then closed it.

She didn't say goodbye.

Just turned, slowly, walking away under Yuuto's umbrella.

Renji stood there as the light turned green.The rain washed everything away except the sting in his chest.

She still looked back.Just once. But she looked.

Home was still cold.

His shoes left muddy prints in the hallway. His sister made a sound of disgust from her room but didn't come out.

The kitchen was empty.

The table was cleared.

No food.

No voice.

Nothing.

He showered with the lights off.

Sat in the darkness until the water ran cold.

Back in his room, he sat on the floor beside his bed, the notebook open on his lap, a pen resting between his fingers.

He didn't write anything.

He just stared at the page.

If I vanish…Who would even notice?