Liches Get Scritches: A Cat Cultivation

After that first success I spent as much time as I could on the roof singing and dancing for the moon. Gradually we grew more fonder, and more comfortable in each others’ company, although I did not reach the stage of utter bliss that I did sunning myself. Mama said to give it time, and that making friends was a process.

The moon was also an inconstant companion, the intensity of her affection waxing and waning with the nights. As her light waned, meditating became progressively more difficult. When at last she hid completely, veiling herself in darkness I turned my attention to other things. The moon would be back, she promised, with a whisper. And I would greet the Moon-Toad under her next full radiance, confident in my ability.

Unless…of course, it was a cloudy night.

But if it was I would just not go. Simple. No point worrying over the rainclouds that were not even yet in sight. That was my own wisdom, not Mama’s. I was becoming wiser as well as bigger and stronger.

Until that time I continued my training, meditating by sun and firelight, and sometimes looking up at the stars and wondering how I should come to know them. The stars were quite unlike the Moon. To begin with, they were all different, each one unique and beautiful in their own way, just like cats. They were so many, I would never be able to enchant them one at a time - even with nine lives I would not have enough time. At least I didn’t think so.

I wondered perhaps if I should ask the moon? They spent so much time in the sky together, surely they must know each other? Although the stars shone dimmer when the moon shone brightest. Perhaps they did not like each other at all?

One advantage of growing friendly with them all is that one or other would always be there, the sun, the moon, the stars. Unless it rained. Or I was indoors. Or underground.

I put these thoughts away. These were concerns for the future. The idea of romancing the shadows was simply too uncomfortable to bear, I would deal with it after I had grown more. And before I could seriously think about enchanting the stars, the next full moon had arrived.

I set off to the moon-toad’s glade with great energy, prancing on my paws, keeping a watchful eye out for wolves, or ghosties or anything nasty.

The night was warm with summer breezes and mercifully clear of clouds. Sticking my nose in the air, I tasted all the scents of the night: sharp pine, sap, loam, moss, water, squirrel droppings. My nose twitched. The moon was rising. I must go fast, but not too fast. Watchful, careful. Shadows on my mind.

The gleam of the rising moon limned the horizon, peeking out from between trunks and branches, following me as I leapt River’s waters without difficulty, and padded on my way through the trees. By the time I traversed the marshes the moon’s smiling face was staring up at me from stagnant ponds. I hissed at the wisps, and they backed off.

This time I arrived at the glade at the correct time, with my paws mostly dry.

The enormous moon-toad was awake, the rowdy circle of Folk were eating snacks on their toad-stools, and the three smaller obnoxious toads were chewing flies on their log.

“Back so soon?” rasped the not-godling as I stepped out from the trees.

She was bigger than I remembered, looming over me in all her great, sallow green and brown glory. I believed Mama when she said the moon-toad was not a Small God, but standing here again - it was hard not to tremble.

I stiffened my spine, and wrapped my tail neatly around my legs, bowing my head and deliberately ignoring the whisperings of the toads squatting on its back. Trying to ignore the the enormous white frosted wolf-cub that was seated on its haunches opposite me. I blinked, trying not to quiver. A tall owl swivelled its head to stare at me with a much too intelligent gaze. A grass snake, coiled politely to one side, its tongue flickering in and out of its mouth.

I gulped, my heart beating faster.

I had dreamed of finding other Awake creatures. Well, here they were. A familiar oversized moth alighted on a nearby crooked branch. It nodded towards me, the fake eyes of its wings creasing up in amusement. I nodded back, with great dignity.

“Good,” said the moon-toad, looking around. The mud beneath its limbs slopped and glooped with her movements. “We are all here. Let us begin. You too Jenkins. If you are able..?” There was a hint of a question in that rasping voice.

Nodding my head, I trotted forward. My chest tightened in excitement.

The Small Folk on the mushrooms let out a great cheer. Several pixies were drinking from little wooden mugs, about the size of my Maud’s thimbles. They clashed them together, whooping as I entered the ring of mushrooms. My ears twitched and I could not help but prance a little as I took my place among the strange assortment of creatures.

I tried not to look at the wolf more than necessary. He was uncomfortably close, with a long pink tongue and was panting slightly. I had never seen a wolf before, even a baby one. His yellow eyes slid sideways to look at me and then flicked back to the moon-toad. To my left, the snakes’ tongue slipped in and out of its mouth, tasting the air nervously.

The only ones talking were the three toads.

“Oooooh, the cat is back,” whispered one, loudly. As if she had just seen me.

“I really thought it would have been eaten by something,” said the second.

“Is it really Awake? Its eyes are as dull as piss-mud,” said the third. “Just like the other domestic.”

All three of them sniggered.

Before I could retort, the giant toad shifted again, and cleared her bulbous, rasping throat.

“Greetings to my new forest children. I am Montadie. Some of you are known to each other, some are not.” There was another pause as the giant toad scratched at her puckered skin with a long, moistened limb. I saw she only had three legs. “I welcome new students Nadders, Jenkins, Skol and Lavellan Vollj.”

My eyes flickered across the assembled beasts, trying to work out who was who. It was impossible to tell, although the wolf was panting harder, a brainless smile quirking the corner of its mouth upwards. His tail thumped on the floor.

“For the newly Awake, know that is frowned upon to knowingly harm a cultivation student of a lower rank.” Montadie’s bulging gaze swept across the glade taking us all in one by one, and coming at last to rest on the three smaller toads, who shrank in on themselves a little but kept quiet. “Awakened, Radiant, continue with your exercises. I will attend to you shortly.”

The three toads, the owl and the moth left to another corner of the clearing.

So that left the snake and the wolf, but who else? The moon-toad had listed four Awake. I sorely wanted to watch what the ‘Awoken’ and ‘Radiant’ did, but Monatadie was speaking again so I turned my head away.

“Now listen carefully. If you have questions I will answer them in a moment. The first stage of cultivation is to-”

Montadie’s soliloquy was interrupted by a large, portly bird that blundered out from between the trees.

A goose. Several yards high it was the largest bird I had ever seen, larger even than the plumpest of my Maud's geese. Muttering apologies, she took her place with the rest of us. She had a long graceful neck and her feathers were fluffy white and grey. There is nothing fluffy about the expression in her eyes, which were hard as nails.

“Welcome Wuot,” said Mantadie. “Meet your fellow students, Nadders-” She pointed to the snake. “Skol-” was the wolfcub, and “Lavellan Vollj.” The moon-toad pointed to a small water-vole crouched near the ground. I had overlooked her, so tiny was she. The small rodent was round in shape, and covered in soft brown fur. Her head barely peeked out above the grass. I stared over at her with some interest. A squeaker that was Awake! Surely it would barely last a week?

Lavellan Vollj’s head turned to look at me as if she could hear my thoughts out loud. Her gaze was sharp and… slightly unhinged.

I looked back to the moon toad quickly.

“And Jenkins.”

“Hello,” said the goose.

Montadie settled herself again, the glade trembling softly as she moved. “Welcome. As I was saying- the first stage of cultivation is to become aware of the qi currents of the world around you. Congratulations. Each of you Awoke and thought - I want something more. You didn't know what that thing was, just that you wanted it. Perhaps you could feel the shortness of your time on earth and felt that it was oh so precious? You wanted longer. Perhaps you dreamed of becoming immortal! You wanted to defy the very laws of nature that bound you to this mortal coil, you wanted to break the limits imposed upon your body by the natural order of things. Well, you are in the right place.

“I will teach you and you will call me Master. Some of you will succeed and grow into magnificence. Some of you will reach your own level of Mastery. Some will leave, satisfied with what you have learned, and live long, healthy, disease free lives. Some of you will fall by the wayside.”

The glade was silent, everyone’s attention fixed on the toad.

“Some of you will die. This is how it is. Cultivation is difficult, requiring dedication, time and resources. Pursuit of greatness is not for the faint of heart. The cycle of life and death claims all in the end but the very lucky, very special, very hardworking few. And yet… There are elements within your control. I will teach them to you, and it is up to you to find out if you are brave and intelligent enough to put them to use. Ultimately, the path is yours.”

She looked around at us all, so large were her eyes I could see the group reflected in them.

“Your task now is to grow - first you must strive to gather the qi that infuses everything around you. That infuses your own body. Once you are able to gather this qi, you begin the long, arduous task of bending it to your will. This is but the first step of many, running it through the rivers of your body free flowing.”

My back twitched at the term river.

“Once you can successfully cycle the qi throughout your body, and have opened the first five of your meridians you will become truly Awakened, and officially pass to the next phase of cultivation. More on that later. As I said, we accomplish this in stages, some more difficult than others.

“It is important for me to explain that some of you will find some tasks easier, some will be more difficult. Do not gloat too loudly. Everything is in balance. For instance, you might think that carnivores are at an advantage when it comes to fighting? You would be right, but they might not be as swift or as careful as the prey they hunt.

“In the same way, those that devour meat might gain more power from those they consume than a plant eater. However, some plants are rich with qi, while others are mundane. Likewise prey. BUT-” We all jumped. “In order for qi to cycle properly you must rid your bodies of impurities. You are what you eat. A mouse who eats a rotten nut will get a belly-ache, a cat that eats a mouse that has suffered, or that is ill will take that energy into him or herself.” The moon-toad’s bulbous, solemn gaze swept over us all. “Plants are less likely to contain the stress and trauma of impurities. And so plant-eaters have less impurities within them. As I said, all in balance.

“All of you must cleanse. This is important! I cannot overstate the importance of this. The channels of qi will not flow through a dirty body. And to cleanse you must learn to breathe properly.”

As if to demonstrate the enormous toad took several deep guttural breaths.

“It is not enough simply to pass air in and out of your lungs, wherever they are located. All of your bodies are built differently.” The toad’s eyes, enormous and glistening eyes bored into our souls as she casts her eyes over us, considering. The Moon too was reflected there, a constant, watchful reminder. She was watching us too. “This is a challenge for me, both as a teacher and guide, and to you as students. Every path is unique. You will all need different techniques not only to breathe, and to meditate, but to fight. For example: on an incredibly basic level, some of your bodies are small, some are big. Some have two legs, some have four. Some have no legs at all.” We all look at Nadders, who sat up straighter in his coils. “Some of you have beaks, some have teeth, some of you have beaks and teeth.”

The goose hissed, her bill parting into a hideous smile that revealed rows upon rows of serrated teeth seemingly embedded in her pink and red gums. I successfully resisted the urge to lean away. I would not be intimidated by anything wearing feathers.

“Some of you have wings, some are bound to the ground. Some of you are comfortable in water, others in the earth or on it.”

It occurred to me then, that flying would be an extremely good advantage in a fight. I made up my mind then and there that I would learn how to fly as soon as possible. If birds could do it, how hard could it be?

“But I am getting ahead of myself,” said Montadie. “As I said, you will accomplish this in stages. You can all sense qi. Congratulations. Now it is time for work. Gather it in. Let us begin.”