Let There Be Blessing Behind You

Story 9. The male owner of the harem (4)

Chapter 14

It shouldn’t have surprised me that Eriez figured it out on his own. After all, we have known each other for a long time and shared some of our deepest thoughts. Although I didn’t give him an answer, Eriez said to me, “You told me Prince Camille asked you for a favor, right? Is this what he ordered you to do? Even if it would destroy The Innocent Ones, the Goddess’ warrior, and the entire Alincha, he asked you to do it just for him?”

“…”

“Do you like his highness that much? Is he more important to you than us, your brothers, more than this kingdom, more than your duty to the Goddess?”

Eriez sounded colder than usual, but I could hear his desperation as well. He was talking to me from behind, perhaps because he couldn’t bear to see me. I thought he made the right choice because I also didn’t want to show myself to him in this state. I didn’t want to sadden him even further.

I felt like I had to at least say something to him.

“I am not sure if the word ‘like’ is the right one to describe how I feel…”

I knew I sounded like an idiot. The truth was, as soon as I completed the mission, I regretted it. I was still very regretful and ashamed of myself. Why did I do such a thing? I thought I knew why, but now… I wasn’t sure.

“Eriez… Maybe I fooled myself. Maybe I suffered from temporary insanity. At the time, I told myself what I felt for his highness was something pure, but maybe I was greedy for something more… Of course, I know it wasn’t the will of the Goddess for me to feel and act this way…”

Now that I knew what I did was wrong, I should stop. I should fix my mistake. I should tell my brothers where the Virtuous Priestess is and explain the entire truth. This was the only way for me to be forgiven. Any punishment would be determined by the Goddess’ warrior. I trusted that he would be fair, but Prince Camille may end up being exiled.

But… although I knew exactly what I should do, why was it that I felt hesitant? Why couldn’t I just do the right thing?

Suddenly, I felt so far away from Eriez. I reached out to touch him lightly.

It was an agonizing moment.

“Eri… I… I am not worthy of being an Innocent One… You may say otherwise, but…”

“Stop talking like that, Juya. Anyone can have weak moments. I may not trust you sometimes, but I do trust your self-control.”

Even as he said his words, Eriez pulled away slightly and crossed his arms. I touched my forehead and murmured, “Well…”

Having to hide my feelings… It was hard. I felt that if I could just say it out loud… Tell someone about it, perhaps it would make me feel better.

“Eri, as you saw before, I cannot control my body when I get excited. I asked his highness about the incense he sent me, and apparently, it causes you to reveal your true self… In my dream or hallucination, I was with Prince Camille and feeling the forbidden pleasure. If what I felt when I smelled the scent is my real feelings… What should I do? What will happen to me?”

“…”

Eriez stood like an unmovable wall. He was so close, yet I felt so lonely.

“Eri… I am terrified. I don’t know who I am anymore. Ever since I began to serve his highness from up close, I realized that my mind isn’t normal. I am so confused… I don’t know what is happening… And… I don’t know how long I can control these feelings… I… I just don’t know…”

I covered my eyes as they filled with tears. I bit my lips, not wanting to make pathetic, whining noises. I buried my face on the pillow, and my shoulder began to shake.

Eriez left me alone for a little while. He didn’t say anything to me, but he didn’t leave the room either. After a few minutes of awkwardness, he finally came to me on the bed. He laid me on my back and asked, “Do you like his highness because he is a man?”

He slowly got on top of me and gave me a mocking grin.

“… I don’t know.”

“Well, you told me that it’s not because he reminds you of a woman, right?”

When I nodded slowly, he lowered himself a little. My shoulders trembled a little because I instinctively knew what he was going to say next.

“Juya, then how about me? Am I just not enough?”

“What?”

“I thought about this for a long time, and…”

His hands were trembling, just as my body did. Just like me, Eri had no sexual experience with anyone else, neither men nor women.

He continued, “I know one thing for sure. There is no one purer and more innocent than you in Minurd.”

“…”

“So, if whatever is happening to you lately is because of your unsatisfied needs… Then there is a simple solution to it. If I can help you with this, then you should be able to return to your normal self, right? I will ask you again then. How do you feel about me? If you want, I am very much willing to do anything for you, but if you don’t want me, then, of course, I wouldn’t force you into anything. Because if I force you, I will end up in hell, right?”

Did I mishear him? No… That wasn’t it, but then, Eriez didn’t look like he was dying to touch me in any way. By his determined expression, I guessed Eriez was willing to do something, anything, for his fellow Innocent One.

“Eri… Of course, I don’t dislike you.”

I answered passively, trying to not look so desperate. To be honest, I was frantic for a release. I wanted, needed, anyone, to touch me till I was spent. It would have been a lie if I claimed Eriez never entered my imaginations.

I swallowed audibly as his hand touched me. There was no mistake that my member swelled and hardened immediately. I expected Eriez to pull me towards him and kiss me ardently, but instead, he went down lower.

“Hmm… Juya, you asked me once if I would suck Hakim Karid’s dick if he asked me…”

I could tell his face and body were turning pink as well. Eriez fanned his face with his hand and said in a joking tone, “The answer is yes, of course. I wouldn’t even hesitate, and I would do it not only for the Goddess’ warrior but my previous fellow Innocent One too. If any of you asked me to do it, I would…”

“E, Eri?”