Learning to Love Time Loops Without Going Insane

Cal’s day one morning routine played out again as he went over Andy’s answers in his head. A trip to McCarthy it is. I wish he knew more about the mutated animal or the state of the mine, though. It’s probably best I go sooner rather than later.

Several weeks into the loop, Cal got his dad to sit down so they could talk. He needed his help to build up their finances as quickly as possible, and he could only do that by convincing him of the loop. “Dad, I’m going to tell you something that I couldn’t possibly know. Once the pain and shock start to wear off, I’ll explain how I know it and what that means, okay?” he looked his father in the eyes as he explained.

“Sure, what’s going on?” The worry on his father’s face was growing.

“I know the only reason you are still here is Bug stopped your suicide.” Cal wasn’t happy about bringing it up again, but he also knew it had to be done. He wasn’t sure if he wanted this to get easier in future loops or not.

Stan’s face drooped. He laid his head down in his arms on the table and spoke in a controlled voice. “Did you see it happen somehow? Look, I’m sorry, it was a moment of weakness, I won’t leave you too,” Stan started to explain.

“No, it’s okay, I understand. Shit happens. We can’t always make great decisions during times of high stress. The reason I know about it isn’t because I witnessed it, though. It’s because you told me about it. I asked you how I could convince a younger you that I was stuck in a time loop, and you told me this story as something no one else should know. I haven’t tried it before now, but I need your help this time around.” Cal did his best to reassure his father that everything was okay.

“You’re serious right now, this isn’t some terrible joke?”

“One hundred percent. If you’d like, we can go watch some TV, and I’ll predict some endings as far as I can remember them. This will be my fourth time going through this, and I’m packing in a lot of memories at this point. Now that I think about it, I should probably look into some learning methods for working memory this time around, too. But the big reason here is I need you to gamble for us. I need a lot of cash on hand when I turn eighteen in this loop as I have to go explore an abandoned, possibly haunted mine in the middle of Alaska.” Cal forced half a smile as he finished.

They spent the rest of the night watching different sports and news stations, with Cal doing his best to predict their outcomes from what he had remembered previously. Eventually, Stan came around to the idea and agreed to place a few preliminary bets on some sporting events to start them off.

“Thanks, once we have that done, there’s a lower jackpot lottery coming up that I’ve got the numbers for as well. That should set us up enough for the next couple of decades.”

Three months later and Stan’s bank account had more money in it than he’d ever thought possible. “So what now?” he asked his son over dinner.

“Research, so much research. Did you know eventually, the Internet is going to really take off and revolutionize our ability to look shit up? I mean, in just ten years, we are going to have small computers we all carry around that let us look up unlimited information on the fly. But we’re still three years out from Wikipedia, so I’m going to be spending a ton of time at the library. Also, do you think we can find spelunking classes? It’s probably for the best if I learned how to properly cave.”

“We learn how to cave. You aren’t wandering an abandoned mine alone.” His dad corrected him, emphasizing the we. “I’ve got some old friends who I'm sure would love to take us on a cave trip. I’ll call them tomorrow.”

‘Great, I’ll be at the library most of the day. I’m going to start skipping school a lot more often this time around. So far, I’ve just been dealing with it and trying to learn some of the things I missed on my first go, but with the limited window and more important things to spend the time on, I think it’s for the best.”

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing that it’s a good idea for my son to drop out of school at twelve.”

“I really wish looking twelve came with that childhood sense of nothing can ever go wrong.” Cal finished his dinner. “I’m going to head to bed. Let me know the caving plans once you have them.”

“Will do.”

Spelunking turned out to be easier than finding a good history of McCarthy. As the years ticked by, Cal and Stan surprised themselves at how much they were learning and even enjoying themselves as they traveled to caves across the country, getting in as much experience as they could before the trip.

Their biggest obstacle was that it was easier said than done for a preteen to drop out of school. After a few consultations with a lawyer, they concluded that the best course of action was creating a homeschool framework. Once it was complete, they had the freedom to continue the plan.

*

They sat down for a steak dinner on Cal's sixteenth birthday and reviewed the plan. It turned out the mine wasn’t in McCarthy but likely the ghost town of Kennecott. It was considered a tourist destination, though most people stayed out of the mines themselves. Cal was able to learn about three primary mines nearby: Bonanza, Jumbo, and Erie. Each would require a hike, but they should be able to drive a motorhome most of the way to Kennecott. The plan was to say they were taking a trip for hiking, caving, and hunting. Cal figured their best bet was doing this in the Alaskan summer. That way, there was less chance of underfed bears being an issue.

“So what happens when this ends? Do I just forget all of this, and we go back to the way we were?” Stan asked unexpectedly. This wasn’t a topic he had ever brought up before.

“I think so. You are the first person I’ve told about this, though, so I guess anything is possible, but I’m pretty sure I can’t permanently make you remember without whatever Andy was feeding me.” Cal wasn’t happy with his answer, but he didn’t have anything else he could add to change it.

“Promise me that if you figure out how to bring others into this, you will bring me along. I don’t want you doing this alone. It’s too much pressure for one kid,” Stan looked more like a father than he had in years.

It had become increasingly difficult for Cal to play the kid in their relationship, but he understood this. His dad genuinely cared about what happened to him. “I will,” and he meant it. He had every intention of bringing him along. He just had to learn how.

*

Driving the motorhome to McCarthy had been relatively easy; now, the path to Kennecott was not so much. Stan was the better of two at rough roads, so he was handling this leg of the trip. So far, they had stopped three times to free a stuck wheel from mud, but in the end, they managed the trip. They set up camp near the Kennicott River bridge and started discussing their plans for tomorrow.

“I say we just start big and go for Erie. It’s the harder hike, but once we get it out the way, I think we will be happy we did,” Stan had made this argument before.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. We hike up there, make camp at the entrance, and start mapping it out as best we can.” Cal had mentally given in a few weeks ago, planning to do so verbally the next time it came up.

They set out the following day at first light. It was five miles to the mine over rugged rocky terrain. The slow and careful pace took them several hours to arrive. Cal was just glad they both made it in one piece. They sat down and ate a big lunch before starting tent assembly. “I figure we get the camp together and then take a quick look around, but wait until tomorrow for any real surveying.”

“Sounds good to me,” Stan agreed with his son.

*

He should have known something was bound to go wrong. These loops have been easy enough so far. Cal's thoughts were stuck in a state of panic as he raced through the mine, desperately trying to find his father.

*

Twenty minutes earlier, they had started poking around the mine, just the initial passageways and small complexes built for the workers inside, when Cal thought he heard a muffled voice from one of the tunnels. “Dad, come here. Do you hear anything?” he asked, pointing down the tunnel.

“Oh, I wouldn’t wooooorry too much about her. She neeeeever comes out. She doesn’t like to playyyy with herrrrr food. She’s such a bore.” A voice called down from the ceiling behind them. It was too dark for Cal to make out the voice's owner.

“Fuck, who’s there?” Stan yelled.

“IIIIIII aaaaaammmm.” the voice managed to sing and shriek its response.

“Run, we need out of the cave now!” Stan ordered Cal, but before either of them could move, something grabbed Stan from behind, and he was pulled into the cave where they had initially heard the voice from. “Cal, just go!” he screamed as he disappeared into darkness.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, heavy metal reject on the ceiling, dad grabbed by mysterious other thing in the tunnel. No choice, he thought as he started dashing down the tunnel after his father, reaching into his pockets for some glow sticks to mark the path as he went.

“Dad, can you hear me!?” He yelled, unable to spot him anywhere in the beam of his flashlight.

“He cccan’t, but I caaaaan.” The voice from the ceiling was back. Cal spun around, getting his first clear sight of the owner, and nearly shit himself in fear. It was a spider the size of a moose. It was running along the wall after him. “Runnnnn boy, rrrrrun, I like my games beeeeeefore dinnnnner.”

Cal did as instructed; he tried to, at least, he tripped over a rock, causing him to crash through an old broken railing and fall over the edge into darkness. He hit the ground feet first, feeling several bones snap on impact. Unable to think clearly through the pain and fear, he just lay there wishing he had asked Andy what would happen if they died before the white flash.

The spider creature emerged from the darkness, striding towards him. “Awwwww, you went and broke yourrrrrself,” the voice crooned while it gently rubbed one its legs across his cheek. “Now we can’t play anymore.” Suddenly, the smiling face changed to bared fangs. “Well, best not waaaaaste fresh meeeeat,” the words came out in a hiss.

Cal screamed until he could scream no longer.