KonoSuba: The Champion of Blacklight

The bandits surrounding the wagon were confused. They expected fear, aggression, even spellfire – they had Bob the Wizard in the group to protect them against magical attacks – but not that their targets would start arguing among themselves. 

"Lemme at them!" Megumin was screaming, trashing around in Alexs' arms again.

"No! You won't leave a wet spot from them! We still need their bodies!"

The leader of the gang – Bill the Beast, a man with heavily scarred face and hands – grinned upon hearing their words and raised his weapon of choice on his shoulder – a huge two-handed axe with a couple of chips on the blade. 

"Look at them guys, we got ourselves some fiery galls!"

His gang burst into laughter, as if on command. Alex was looking at them in fascination. Twelve middle-aged men were laughing their asses off, as if they had heard the best joke in their lives.

"We're having wine and a show for dinner tonight, just look at them!" And another wave of laughter mixed with a bad imitation of a catcall. 

The girls could only stare at the bandits, frozen with shock.

"Is that just me, or are they kinda… pathetic?" Alex said to herself, finally releasing Megumin from the death grip. 

Chris, who was standing on the side of the cart, nodded, looking at the bandits with confusion. "Why are they laughing? He didn't even say anything funny?"

"Girls, if you surrender peacefully, we won't hurt you… too much." One of the bandits – Barney Gray Mane – said with a toothy smile full of holes, causing another wave of approval and laughter.

Now even Megumin was looking at them with disgust. "It doesn't even sound like a real threat! And these are the people who I wanted to spend my explosion on?!"

Megumin would have spat on the ground in disgust, but they still had to get to the city in this cart. As a professional chunni, she couldn't miss such a terrible and boring threat to her person. These bandits didn't even think about shouting something original!

Meanwhile, the wine seller and his guards had already begun to sweat. They could hear everything the girls were saying and began to wonder if they had made a mistake…? 

The bandits, on the other hand, felt like they were on cloud nine. For them, the best prey is the one that doesn't fight back! Just looking at the girls who couldn't even move, their confidence reached the heavens!

"Are you scared?" One of them leered. "Aw, aren't you a cute–"

"Bah, I can't listen to this anymore!" Alex exploded, stepping forward and jumping out of the carriage onto the future battlefield. "You!" She pointed her finger at the leader, who straightened up under her gaze. "I'll fix your tits first!" 

Silence fell on the road. The bandits were shocked by the words of a little girl who jumped into their ambush without a drop of fear. What kind of nonsense was she talking?!

"Oi, oi! I don't think you understand your situation. We are the–" Bill started, but was immediately interrupted. 

"Shut up, you dirty ass bitch, you're the most one-sided bandit character I've ever seen in my life! Hell, I've seen a potato with a more developed personality than your nasty ass!" Alex said back, her muscles throbbing in irritation.

"Hey! I'll have you know, I have a great personality! I have a sad backstory and deep motives for my actions!" Bill the Beast shouted, insulted to the core.

"A sad backstory? Bitch, just because your mother dropped you head-first into a meat grinder doesn't give you a sad backstory! That gave you brain damage!"

"You little–!" Bill snarled, tightening his grip on the handle of the axe.

"Err… Bro, is it me, or has she gotten bigger?" Bart Sharp-eye asked with a tremor in his voice. 

And now that Bill looked closer, Bart was right! The girl now seemed a head taller than she was in the carriage!

"Nah, must be just a trick of the light–" He assured his henchman, but shut up when he noticed even more changes in Alex's body. 

She abruptly grew thick black armor all over her body, along with a full-fledged horned helmet on her head, and a weapon grew on her arm. The girl looked like a humanoid insectoid with a long whip in her right hand. No… Her right hand became a whip! 

Right now, she didn't look like a little girl, but like a fucking demon in full armor straight from the battlefield! Who gave her the right to be so scary?!

"Don't worry boys," even her voice turned demonic, now that she was wearing armor, "we need you alive."

High-pitched screams of horror immediately rang out from all sides, but several bandits still decided to attack first.

Unfortunately for them, the combination of a sticky whip that almost fused to their bodies and impenetrable armor made Alex an unbeatable opponent for low-level shmuks like them. With one swing, she caught several bandits at a time, like a sticky fly trap.

The wine seller and his guards looked at each other and already wanted to make a run for it, but cold metal immediately touched their throats.

"You didn't think that after your betrayal you would be able to escape, did you?" Chris said with a crazy glint in her eyes.

"Of course not," Megumin continued, holding a short sword at the wine seller's throat. "The future Demon King should look appropriate, and you shall be given the honor of being the first step to my beauty." 

Now it's the girls' turn to burst into insane laughter, but it was lost in the sounds of battle.

After fifteen minutes, all twenty bandits were either tied with a biological rope-whip, or lay with their faces in the ground. Alex looked at them with disappointment, they weren't even those Adventurers with a black mark! They were just weak evil men who wanted to rob and kill people! 

"Chris, Megumin, how is our employer doin'?" She shouted in the direction of the carriage.

The little witch's head poked out of the covered cart for a moment. "No one can resist the might of the greatest Crimson Mazoku!" She replied with a dark smile.

Smiling back at the girl, Alex gathered her prisoners in front of the wagon. The leader sat in front of his subordinates, waiting for his inevitable fate. Chris and Megumin, meanwhile, dragged their targets to the gang as well.

There were now thirteen adult men and two women sitting near the wagon, whom Alex had not noticed before due to the heat of the moment. They had more than enough rats to experiment with.

But now that it was time to do the deed, Alex was hesitating. 

"Girls, what if I fail? What if I just kill him?" She asked, her voice trembling.

Chris and Megumin looked at each other, deciding what to say, but someone beat them to it.

"Um… I'm sorry, but what are you going to do with us?" One of the female bandits asked, worried for her own life.

"Oh, I'm testing to see if my skills can enlarge someone's chest or other body parts." Alex responded quickly, her tone abruptly returning to nonchalant. The jaws of the prisoners dropped from shock.

"Seriously?!" The second woman in the group screamed in shock. She was on the smaller side, if not for her long hair, one could've easily mistaken her for a teenage boy. "So what are you waiting fo'?! Fuken' do it!"

"If I fail, there's a good chance my skill will eat him whole. I'm talking whole whole. Bones and all." Bill the Beast's face turned white and he began to twitch, trying to get out of his bonds. "Well, it's time to give you new breasts!"

Her previous doubts already dead and buried, Alex decided to proceed with the procedure.

Placing her hand on the man's body, she concentrated. Miniature tentacles full of biomass pierced Bill's skin and he screamed in surprise, but didn't even experience a drop of pain.

Everyone around looked in shock as some huge boobs slowly grew on Bill's body. I mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. Some great dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabhankoloos. Big ol' tonhongerekoogers.

Alex, meanwhile, felt every cell of Bill's body, as they were forcibly changed into their new selves. His new mammary glands grew and enlarged at an incredible rate, allowing the flesh to have at least some sort of foothold.

These things were bigger than his torso, I tell you this much!  

"It worked?!" More than a dozen voices shouted together as one.

Only this wasn't the end, because just as everyone thought it was over, dozens of tendrils burst out of Alex's body and swallowed Bill whole, not giving him time to even squeak with fear.

As soon as it disappeared inside Alex's body, the girl stopped, grabbing her head in pain.

"Alex? Is everything all right?" Chris asked, gently touching the girl's shoulder. Taking a deep breath, Alex nodded, but her eyes sparkled with dozens of emotions.

The process had failed – at least partly – she wasn't sure why. Perhaps because she accidentally left a part of the virus in his body? Her skill doesn't allow spreading the virus to other carriers, maybe it was a new natural reaction?

"Yeah I... ew, I just got that pervert's memories. Who in their right mind would eat a cold, dry, overdone steak?" She muttered, shaking her head. "So, the first attempt was unsuccessful! Who will be next?"

If earlier these criminals were afraid that they would be handed over to the guards, now they were afraid of being eaten alive! And all this just for the sake of bigger boobs?!

And only Bart Sharp-Eye allowed a single tear to leave his eye. If he dies for the sake of beauty, he will only be happy.