Konosuba: Determined

Dying wasn't that dramatic, as most shows would describe.

One moment, you were there, and the next, you were not. The whole thing about objects and time slowing down was sort of true—at least, for a split second. It wasn't an emotional rollercoaster full of flashbacks or anything that gave you time to even formulate more than one thought.

It was just an abrupt cut to black, at least for me.

You couldn't really feel, hear, touch or see anything, which was kind of driving me insane, to say the least.

Is this really the end? Did I just die and disappear like that? I didn't even manage to get the groceries back home, for fuck's sake.

What a dumb, stupid way to go.

I did have a sense of time, though. Or at least I'd like to believe that I do. It's probably been like what, a week already?

…Or maybe just a few seconds?

I can't fucking tell. It's driving me insane, honestly. Are those whispers I keep hearing?

What the hell is going on in this darkness? This better be a goddamn dream, or at the very least, a prank.

Screaming? Doesn't work. Moving? Impossible. Kicking or punching? Snrrk, good luck with that.

Eventually, I stopped thinking.

Hah, gotta love JoJo's. I'm probably floating around like some kind of budget Kars right now.

Wouldn't that be hilarious? Getting isekai'd but stuck in the void forever, just like that meme about him drifting through space.

…Wait.

No, that's not funny at all!

Come on, I'll just wake up. This has got to be just a bad dream or something, right? I just passed out on my bed and didn't even realize it, right?

...Right?

Huh, no response from my body whatsoever.

Guess this is my life now, hm?

Just floating in a void, thinking to myself until I eventually lose my mind. What a way to go, eh? I always joked about getting isekai'd with my cousin, but I didn't think I'd actually end up like some forgotten character in a bad, shitty fanfiction.

If there's some kind of god or author or whatever the hell there is, I just hope you know that I hate you and wish you nothing but the worst for making me suffer like this.

You probably get no hoes, no bitches, no wenches, and not even men want you.

But hey, I'm sure you think it's funny. Sitting up there, chuckling to yourself about how you decided to mess with some random person for no reason, other than to jumpstart your garbage magic-themed manga.

Maybe you're sitting in some comfy chair, sipping your overpriced coffee, laughing about how much fun you're having doing this to me. Can't you do something better other than reincarnation stories? This isn't even fun. It's annoying. It's infuriating, damn it!

If I'm stuck here, I at least deserve a good reason. I don't want to be some plot device for your recycled isekai story. If you're going to mess with my life, make it interesting. Make me actually give a crap about whatever the hell I'm gonna be doing, instead of leaving me to rot.

I bet I'm not even the first person to get thrown into a weird-ass afterlife scenario like this. What's next? Am I gonna end up in some fantastical world with magic? Is there gonna be some kind of harem? Will there be planet-busting aliens who can turn their hair golden by anger? Ninjas who can manipulate the five elements?

Or better yet, a world with both cursed spirits and highly trained sorcerers, constantly at war with each other.

Even I can come up with a better plot, not to mention a better way to reincarnate or transmigrate a person. Like, is a truck the best you can come up with? And the void. That's so fucking overused and overrated!

Is there even any originality left? This is just lazy. It's like you people just get a bunch of recycled plots, shuffle them around like cards and just toss in a random generic protagonist who probably has to fight demons, save the world, and deal with fan-service scenarios.

At the minimum, I'd like to get a cheat. Don't these Kirito copies usually get some kind of power whenever they start out?

You know the type: when they suddenly get some kind of overpowered cheat handed to them at some point in the story, or even at the beginning. It usually comes with a ridiculously convenient and versatile use that makes them OP from the start.

This causes the title to be extremely fucking long, something ridiculous like: Starting Life Over In A New World As An Atomic Bomb Vending Machine, After Dying Due To A Gaming Chair That Exploded After I Sat On It!

Yeah. Sounds like some kind of parody you'd get after smoking three packs of weed and downing an entire bag of edibles. It's almost as if they're trying to one-up the previous ridiculous reincarnation scenarios by getting even more retarded.

I seriously do not know how people come up with names like "Starting Over As A Magic-Infused Octopus With Infinite Wealth After Being Struck By Lightning During A Steam Sale!", it's completely non-sensical.

...

Not a single soul is around here.

I feel lonely.

Might as well monologue to myself about my life, because what else is there to do?

I let out a frustrated, unaudible sigh.

This is pathetic. How long have I been stuck here? Who's even listening to this? Is there even anyone listening to what I'm saying?

Pfft. My name is Clara Aozora, and right now, I'm having the moment of my life. Stuck in a void, talking to myself like some kind of crazy person.

Yeah, this is what I've become. If there's any silver lining, it's that I don't have to deal with anyone else's bullshit for now.

...Fuck that. I need human contact, ASAP.

What I wouldn't give to have someone to talk to, or at least have my phone. I should've chosen to believe in god!!

Silence.

No response. I bet that god or author is cackling his ass off right now, looking at how his precious character is suffering.

All I hope is that my author isn't someone like Gege Akutami, Tappei Nagatsuki, Akihito Tsukushi or whatever other twisted mind. I'm not in the mood to die over and over in several, different brutal ways like Natsuki Subaru, just to come back and try again in vain.

This is already bad enough as it is, and I'm getting sick and tired of it.

...Clara Aozora here. Currently losing it. Father, if you're there, I'm sorry for not doing the laundry. Mother, I'm sorry for getting a chocolate bar without your permission. Marie, I'm sorry for leaking the group chat DMs to one of my friends.

...

Is this what it's come to? Apologizing to an empty darkness for stuff that doesn't even matter anymore?

I sound pathetic.

I just hope some kind of miracle happens, like a light or someth- Oh.

For a moment, the ambience changed. A dim light flickered far away from me, and I couldn't help but feel curious about it.

A sliver of something... hope, maybe? I can't move, but I feel as if I'm being attracted to it, like a magnet. Or is the light the one that's moving? I think it's glowing brighter by the second.

This must be one of those tropes where the character is guided towards the light, to live once again.

I genuinely couldn't give less of a fuck right now, I just wanted to get out of here as soon as I could.

Whatever the hell this is, I need to see something else, anything else but this suffocating emptiness. I don't care if it's another recycled plot or whatever, just get me out of this godforsaken limbo.

Huh? My hands... They're moving, but I still cannot see them. The light is still growing!

I didn't even realize it yet, but I unconsciously tried to cover my eyes with my forearm. There's so much fucking light, my eyes are going to-

Oh shit, I'm blind! Have I gone blind?! What's going on?!

Wait, no, more importantly, I'm regaining sensation in my limbs. I can feel my arms, legs, even my hair! But it's a dull feeling, like when you're really lethargic or haven't moved for a long time. My case was the latter.

I was starting to feel weight on me. The texture of what seemed to be my jacket, my pants, the air brushing against me, but it all felt so foreign, like I hadn't experienced it in years.

Very strange, as if I had just woken up from some really deep slumber, or after sleeping for 18 hours straight on a Thursday afternoon.

I tried to move again, slowly this time, testing the waters. At first, I trembled and fell to the ground, both because my muscles were so stiff and sluggish and also because of the light. It felt like my eyes couldn't adjust fast enough.

I decided to just lay down on the ground and stretch as I waited for my vision to clear. The ground sorta felt like gravel or anything like that. Grass would've been nicer.

Just give me a break already, good grief. I've gone through enough already.

Eventually, my vision cleared, and I noticed that I was lying on some kind of path, surrounded by a forest. The air was fresh—almost too fresh, compared to the completely polluted air back on Earth. Very crisp.

For a moment, I just stared at the trees, trying to process what was around me.

I stared at the blue, cloudy sky and simply muttered,

"...Where in the world am I?"