Konoha Ninja Shop System

Outside a women's bathhouse stood a middle-aged man with wild white hair and a scruffy stubble covering his face. He was crouched near a window, wearing a lecherous grin, peeking inside with the furtive gaze of a thief.

A large, conspicuous word — "Oil" — was painted across his forehead.

This man was none other than Jiraiya, known in Konoha Village as the "yellow" in the infamous trio of "yellow, gambling, and drugs."

"Hehehe, today's girl is really something!" Jiraiya's eyes sparkled with delight, saliva almost dripping as he absorbed the scene inside.

He sighed dreamily, "Places like this are the only real source of inspiration for my next book!"

As Jiraiya continued his lecherous vigil, a deep and furious voice suddenly blared behind him.

"You old pervert! Peeping into the women's bath again, huh?"

Startled, Jiraiya's heart skipped a beat as he whipped around to see a burly woman charging at him, broom raised high.

His eyes widened in sheer terror. Before he could say a word, the broom slammed into his head with a heavy thwack, sending a cloud of dust into the air.

"Ouch! That hurts!" Jiraiya yelped, clutching his head and gritting his teeth in pain.

But the old lady was relentless. She raised the broom again and landed another heavy blow. Realizing there was no time to explain, Jiraiya bolted, running for his life.

"Don't run!" the furious woman shouted as she gave chase.

Jiraiya panicked, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Help! Someone's trying to kill me!"

The street suddenly erupted into chaos, buzzing with the noise of the wild chase.

"You old pervert! I'm gonna beat you to death!" The woman's veins bulged as she swung the broom with all her might. It was hard to believe such a muscular force belonged to a simple bathhouse cleaner.

"Auntie, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Jiraiya pleaded, desperately covering his head.

"You said that last time too!" the woman shouted, swinging the broom hard and hitting Jiraiya on the back.

Pain shot through him, but he hurried his steps, trying to escape the furious broom-wielding lady.

---

After what felt like an eternity, Jiraiya finally shook off his pursuer. He slowed to a walk, shaking his head in exasperation.

"I'm one of the legendary Sannin of Konoha, but today I'm being chased and beaten by an old lady in the street. Things really have gone downhill…" he muttered bitterly.

Suddenly, his stomach rumbled loudly.

"Gurgle…"

"Oh, I'm starving. I'd better find somewhere to eat first." He rubbed his rumbling belly and scanned the area for a place to eat.

Jiraiya soon spotted a bustling tavern and walked inside. The place was packed with people drinking and chatting animatedly.

He took a seat, ordered a bowl of ramen and a glass of wine, then settled back, letting the warmth of the tavern wash over him.

Looking around at the ordinary townsfolk enjoying their simple lives, Jiraiya couldn't help but smile.

"This is the life of ordinary people. Simple, yes, but full of warmth and happiness," he thought.

---

The steaming bowl of ramen arrived, and Jiraiya savored each bite with contentment.

But his appetite was interrupted by snippets of conversation from a nearby table.

A group of men were drinking and chatting loudly. One of them said with a grin, "Have you heard? The Third Hokage of Konoha Village was driven out by the villagers!"

Another leaned forward, eyes wide with curiosity. "Really? What happened? Why would the Third Hokage step down all of a sudden?"

The first man shrugged. "I just heard it from a businessman who returned from the Land of Fire yesterday. No details, but apparently, the Third Hokage collapsed..."

Jiraiya's mouth twitched involuntarily. He muttered under his breath, "Could it be that the old man got caught peeping into the women's bathhouse, just like me?"

A sly grin spread across his face. "Yeah, that must be it. Otherwise, with his reputation, how could the villagers drive him out so easily?"

He nodded thoughtfully to himself, "But wait... doesn't the old man have that magical crystal ball? Why would he go there in person to spy? Wouldn't the crystal ball be enough?"

Jiraiya shook his head, amused by his own reasoning.

"Ah, of course — the crystal ball can't compare to the thrill of being right there, witnessing it live," he chuckled.

---

The mention of the crystal ball sent Jiraiya's mind racing back over a decade.

Years ago, Jiraiya had coveted that very crystal ball — the same one Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, kept close at hand. The crystal ball was a mysterious device capable of observing faraway places. Jiraiya longed to possess it but was always refused when he asked his teacher.

Sarutobi Hiruzen would say, "The crystal ball is an important tool to maintain peace and stability in Konoha. It's not a toy for you to satisfy your perverted desires."

Back then, Jiraiya believed him. Until one day, he accidentally walked into the Hokage's office and found the Third Hokage staring intently into the crystal ball — completely absorbed in the images within, not noticing Jiraiya's presence.

Curious, Jiraiya peered over his teacher's shoulder and saw the unmistakable view inside the crystal ball: the women's bathhouse. His whole worldview shattered in that instant.

He never imagined that the revered Hokage was secretly spying on women, just like Jiraiya had always dreamed of doing but never dared.

Without hesitation, Jiraiya stood by the teacher's side and together they ogled the scene in the crystal ball, drooling in silent ecstasy.

When Sarutobi Hiruzen finally noticed Jiraiya, it was too late. The secret was out.

In an unexpected gesture of trust, the Hokage lent Jiraiya the crystal ball, saying, "Keep this between us. It's dangerous if others find out."

From then on, Jiraiya carried the crystal ball everywhere, often spending entire days at the Second Gate, completely absorbed in its temptations.

During this time, an idea struck him: he would write a novel inspired by the scenes he observed — a work dedicated to the fantasies of otaku like himself.

That book, Intimate Paradise, was filled with the kind of content that thrilled and delighted its readers. The colorful and fascinating novel quickly caused a sensation, becoming a bestseller.

Jiraiya's fame soared, not just as a ninja but also as a celebrated novelist.

---

Back in the present, Jiraiya smiled wryly.

"How old must a man be before his lust fades away?" he murmured.

He was convinced that the Third Hokage's fall from grace was due to his secret habit being exposed — someone must have caught the old man spying on the women's bathhouse using the crystal ball.

Only a few in the village had known about this embarrassing vice. But now that the rumor had spread, the loss of his dignity forced the Hokage to abdicate.

Jiraiya sighed.

"It's time to return to the village," he said quietly.

---

As Jiraiya left the tavern and made his way back, his thoughts drifted to the strange and bittersweet life he led.

Though he was one of the legendary Sannin, respected by many, his days were often filled with petty mischief, foolish desires, and chaotic encounters.

Yet, somehow, that was the life he loved.

Even in this chaotic country of soup — where simple ramen warmed his stomach and ordinary people found happiness in their daily lives — Jiraiya felt a deep sense of belonging.

The path of a ninja was never smooth or glamorous. It was messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright ridiculous.

But it was his path, and he would walk it with all his heart.

-pàtreøn (Gk31)