Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

"Hokage-sama, the Jinchūriki seems to have been hurt by Asuma-senpai's words today. He went home early and went straight to bed. His mood was clearly off."

In the heart of Konoha, within the Sarutobi clan's estate, the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was seated in the main room wearing his casual robes. He listened quietly as a purple-haired Anbu knelt before him, reporting the day's events.

Hiruzen lifted his heavy eyelids, his expression calm but watchful."You were there. Did you hear what Asuma said exactly?"

"I wasn't close enough to catch the full conversation," the purple-haired Anbu replied. "But the topic seemed to involve orphans and... a lack of proper upbringing."

The Third Hokage's eyelids twitched. He picked up the pipe beside him, took a slow drag, then exhaled a thick cloud of smoke.

That idiot, Asuma. Absolutely useless.

For nearly thirteen years, Hiruzen had been carefully working to establish a link between Naruto Uzumaki and the Hokage lineage. Now, Asuma's careless words had cracked the fragile bond.

The Jinchūriki is the village's ultimate weapon—and he must remain firmly under the control of the Hokage bloodline.

"Put Asuma in detention when he returns," Hiruzen ordered coldly.

"Also, notify Ebisu first thing in the morning. Have him start bringing Konohamaru around Naruto more often. We need those two to become close friends—quickly."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." The Anbu bowed low, rose to her feet, and vanished with practiced silence.

As she leapt over the Sarutobi estate wall, she just so happened to see Kakashi returning, half-supporting a drunken Asuma. Beneath her mask, her expression soured.

Strangely enough, after tailing Naruto that night, she found herself unexpectedly… sympathetic toward him. And seeing Asuma's careless behavior only made her like him less.

Weird... thought Uzuki Yugao. She chalked it up to pity. Maybe it's just because the Jinchūriki's life really is so sad.

Kakashi, once the captain of the Anbu, easily noticed someone watching them. But when he recognized her as part of the Hokage's direct unit, he ignored it and continued walking.

"Tch, seriously," he muttered. "You got scolded by Kurenai, and now you drink like this?"

"Kakashi, Kurenai and I have known each other since we were kids—more than twenty years—and she still lectured me over some brat and told me to apologize. Can you believe that?"

"She's doing it for your own good. Didn't she say she'd come see you tomorrow morning?"

"What's the point in that, Kakashi? You're a bachelor—you wouldn't understand."

"…Who are you calling a bachelor? Aren't you in the same boat?"

With a grunt, Kakashi shoved Asuma through the entrance and walked off in a huff, leaving the man sprawled across the floor. He turned and headed toward Konoha Hospital.

About half an hour earlier, Shikamaru had reported that Kiba had said something stupid which upset Sasuke. A fight broke out, and Sasuke ended up taking on both Kiba and Shino—and even knocked out Akamaru too.

Though victorious, Sasuke wasn't unscathed. All three of them, plus the dog, were now in the hospital.

Kurenai had already rushed over to check on her Team 8 students. As Sasuke's team leader, it was Kakashi's responsibility now to go and get the full story from his pupil.

—

At Konoha Hospital, Sasuke angrily ripped the IV out of his arm, flinging it aside. The injuries he'd sustained from fighting Kiba and Shino stung more in his pride than in his body.

"If it were Naruto… he would've finished those two idiots without even getting scratched," he muttered bitterly.

He walked over to the window and stared at the pale moon hanging in the night sky.

Once again, his mind flashed back to that night—the night that haunted him.

His Sharingan activated involuntarily. His crimson eyes burned with resolve.

"I'm still too weak," Sasuke whispered. "I need Kakashi to train me—seriously this time."

—

Back in his apartment, Naruto lay sprawled on his bed, reading the details of the reward he had just received.

[Talent Unlocked: Mouth Full of Lies – When a lie is told 1,000 times, it becomes truth. Your words will subtly influence others, making your lies more believable.]

"Hmph, only a small influence?" Naruto clicked his tongue in annoyance. "I thought this would make my lies manifest reality or something."

Out of today's multiple rewards, only one really helped with combat: partial control of the Nine-Tails.

The other two talents were support-based… and then there was that weird one labeled Uchiha Sako.

At first glance, Naruto thought it was some kind of special ninja tool or maybe a cursed item.

But when he opened it—

He nearly burst out laughing.

It was special alright. More like an ultra-detailed, life-size, 1:1 scale stress-relief doll modeled after Sasuke—complete with seductive clothes and exaggerated curves.

Just like those expensive stress dolls sold online in his previous life's memories. Easily worth thousands of dollars on Taobao.

The kicker?

It had Sasuke's face.

Naruto felt his soul leave his body in disgust.

But since the item had a free delivery feature, he quickly set the delivery coordinates to the Sarutobi clan's estate and sent it off.

Let someone else deal with that cursed thing. He didn't care who received it—once given, a gift was like water spilled. No take-backs.

Satisfied, Naruto finally closed his eyes and drifted off.

Tick… tick…

In a hazy dream, Naruto found himself standing once again in the dark, damp corridors of the mental sewer where the Nine-Tails resided.

A pair of massive, burning red eyes glared at him from behind the bars of the enormous gate.

Naruto didn't need to guess what this was about. He walked forward slowly, boots splashing in shallow water, until he stood before the sealed cage.

"You called for me?"

The deep, rumbling voice of the Nine-Tails growled, "Didn't you say you'd sign a contract and set me free?"

Its eyes burned with anger, but its body was restrained by enormous chains. It didn't dare lash out—but its rage was unmistakable.

"I agreed to sign it. So why are you still stealing more control over my chakra?"

Exactly as Naruto had suspected—the Selector's recent upgrades were starting to make the Nine-Tails suspicious.

Naruto looked up, his voice calm."Kurama, don't you trust me?"

"I want to believe you," Kurama growled. "But I can feel it—nearly one-fifth of my chakra is no longer under my control."

There was weight in the beast's voice. A thousand years of existence, and this boy was the only one who had made him feel true fear. Not even Hashirama Senju or Madara Uchiha had managed to make him feel like his very existence could be erased.

But this kid—Naruto Uzumaki—was different.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, deep in thought.

One-fifth of your chakra? But I've only gained 11% control so far… and there's only half of Kurama sealed in me…

Unless… the system's 100% includes the entire Nine-Tails—even the half sealed inside the Fourth Hokage.

If that were the case, then maybe, once he hit 50% control… the other half would automatically transfer over.

Would the Nine-Tails inside his father disappear… and reform entirely within him?

And if he could do that—

…Could he also take control of other Tailed Beasts in the future?

A spark of excitement lit in Naruto's chest.

Now that would be interesting.