Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

Exactly six o'clock.

The sun had already set behind the western mountains, and a faint crescent moon had just risen over the eastern ridges. As day turned to night, the number of ninja deaths in battle reached its peak.

Along the border between Tangyue and the outer forests, the entire mountain range carried the thick stench of blood. Corpses were strewn across the terrain, while the massive Eight-Tails continued its destructive rampage.

Despite unleashing the Eight-Tails, the Hidden Cloud Village had not gained the upper hand. While the area surrounding the tailed beast was secure, every other frontline had suffered large-scale ambushes, resulting in catastrophic casualties.

Naruto darted through the forest, glancing up briefly at the towering form of the Eight-Tails in the distance.

Two figures were in hot pursuit behind him—one with dark skin, the other pale—both elite Jonin of the Hidden Cloud Village.

So annoying.

As he sprinted, Naruto cast a side glance at his pursuers, unable to comprehend why they were so dead-set on chasing him.

Shouldn't they be regrouping or helping with the larger battlefield instead?

Why waste time chasing just one guy?

Originally, Naruto had planned to meet up with Yugito again and further manipulate her public image—but these two had kept him running for a full ten minutes, achieving nothing in the process.

He had no idea that he'd previously killed Samui's brother. To him, their pursuit seemed irrational.

I should've asked Yuukito how strong these two are... whatever.

No matter how strong they are, I need to end this soon—either by fighting or escaping.

The cold wind bit at his face as he tore through the trees, his black robe flapping loudly, golden hair whipping wildly in the air.

Irritation was written all over his face.

Had Yugito been here with them, she would've known instantly—Naruto was genuinely pissed off.

Still, Darui and Samui pressed forward, occasionally launching ninjutsu at him whenever the opportunity arose.

Seeing that Naruto wasn't retaliating, they became more confident—convinced he was still badly injured from his previous battle.

"Uzumaki Naruto, you can't run forever!" Darui shouted.

"You had the guts to slaughter our comrades. Don't you have the guts to stop and fight?!"

"Lightning Style: Thunder Serpent!"

Forming hand seals, Darui gathered lightning chakra into his palm, shaping it into a snake that surged forward, snapping toward Naruto.

Samui frowned. If not for Darui's persistent attacks, the Nine-Tails Jinchūriki would have already escaped.

As a close-range swordswoman, it was difficult for her to chase someone as slippery as Naruto.

She owed Darui big time. Deeply grateful, she made a mental note:

When we return to the village, I'll find a way to set Darui up with Yugito.

Suddenly, Naruto came to a stop, spun around, and coldly barked:

"That's enough."

"Fire Style: Great Fire Annihilation!"

Clapping his palms together, the chakra around Naruto flared violently. He took a deep breath, gathered power in his throat, and unleashed a sea of flames toward the approaching pair.

A massive wall of fire surged forth, engulfing Darui's lightning serpent and continuing with overwhelming intensity.

"What kind of fire jutsu is this?!" Samui exclaimed.

"Didn't Yugito say he was seriously injured?! How is he using such powerful ninjutsu?!"

Darui stepped in front of her.

"He's a Jinchūriki," he said calmly. "They always have insane chakra reserves. Killer Bee and Yugito were the same."

Without hesitation, Darui formed seals, gathered chakra in his throat, and spat out a defensive torrent:

"Water Style: Water Formation Wall!"

But even though Darui used a significant chunk of chakra—nearly a fifth—the resulting wall was still noticeably smaller than Naruto's attack.

Still, water beats fire. He felt confident.

As expected, the two techniques clashed violently. The sea of flames was doused by the wall of water, transforming into a thick mist that obscured the area—like a Mist Jutsu.

In the haze, both Darui and Samui launched coordinated strikes, tracking Naruto's last known position.

Samui dashed forward with her sword drawn, while Darui deployed a unique ninjutsu:

"Storm Style: Laser Circus!"

Darui's kekkei genkai—Storm Release—combined lightning and water chakra, generating highly destructive, controllable beams of energy.

Several arc-like streams of lightning-water surged around Samui, forming both an offense and a defense as they closed in on Naruto.

But as Samui slashed through the mist—

Naruto was gone.

"He escaped in the fog?!" she muttered, frustrated.

This guy's all bark and no bite. All that hype, all those kills—and the second we pressure him, he runs?

So frustrating.

Samui let out a breath and sighed.

"Forget it. Let's go find Yugito. Then we can track him down together."

But just as she turned—

She felt a hand on her butt.

Samui's heart dropped. Darui immediately flew into a rage.

"Get your damn hand off her!"

He unleashed his Storm Style streams. They pierced Naruto's body—only for him to poof into smoke.

A shadow clone.

Still, the interaction told Naruto everything he needed to know.

Samui hadn't sensed the clone sneaking up—meaning she was average at best for a Jonin.

But Darui? His reflexes, elemental balance, and combat instincts were sharp.

Naruto pegged him as high-Jonin level—maybe even Kage-level.

However, he also had a fatal weakness: Samui.

She's his soft spot.

Naruto smirked, stepping out of the mist. His gaze swept over Samui's hourglass figure.

She really is... excessive. In terms of pure physical assets, only Tsunade could rival her.

A ripe peach if there ever was one.

No wonder this guy went crazy when I touched her.

"You bastard!" Darui screamed.

"Lightning Release: Black Panther!"

Black lightning surged from his body, shaping into a panther and pouncing at Naruto.

A high-level, ultra-rare technique once used by the Third Raikage—now wielded by Darui alone.

And he was using it not to win a war—but for vengeance.

As the panther charged, Naruto's lips curled into a grin.

"Nice technique."

With that, he cloaked himself in golden Nine-Tails Chakra, flashed to Samui's side, and whispered:

"Think you can aim this move at her too?"

Samui's eyes widened in disbelief. Still burning with shame from earlier, now she was being used as a human shield?

She instinctively slashed backward with her short blade.

Boom!

Another shadow clone.

As the smoke cleared, the panther missed its target and slammed directly into Samui.

"Samui, get out of the way!" Darui yelled.

Too late.

Reacting fast, Samui imbued her sword with chakra and met the lightning panther head-on.

The blast sent her flying, but she wasn't seriously hurt.

"Ugh... that was close," she muttered, dusting herself off.

But just as she landed—another hand groped her thigh.

"Mmm... soft as rice balls," Naruto said earnestly, giving it a squeeze.

"You scum!"

Darui exploded in fury.

"Lightning Release: Triple Thunder Dragon!"

Sparks erupted from his fists as he surged forward. Samui turned too, blade at the ready.

This time, Naruto didn't dodge.

He grew a chakra arm and blocked her sword, looking Darui dead in the eyes.

"You like her, don't you?"

Darui's face flushed crimson.

Naruto smirked again and whispered, loud enough for both to hear:

"Feels bad when someone else gets there first, huh?"

"Shut up!" Darui shouted.

Naruto laughed.

"Look at you. Acting like a lovesick puppy. Face it, you're just a dark-skinned toad chasing after swan meat."

Even Samui twitched at that line.

She swung her leg in a high kick, aiming for his groin—but Naruto slipped away just in time.

Had that landed, the Uzumaki clan would've ended with him.

"You pervert!"

Both of them charged. Naruto's eyes sparkled with mischief.

He formed a quick seal and blew out a thick cloud of gunpowder ash.

Their vision disappeared once again.

Darui knew what was coming—Konoha's infamous "Ash Pile Burning." He quickly dispelled the ash using chakra to protect himself and Samui from a potential explosion.

But once the ash cleared...

Naruto was gone. And so was Samui.

"Samui?!" Darui shouted.

Just then, he heard voices:

"Darui, stop touching me."

"Samui, shush... just let me enjoy this."

Darui's stomach sank. He roared, "Don't listen to him! That's not me—it's Naruto!"

"Hahaha!" came Naruto's voice, echoing through the fog.

"She doesn't even like you, bro. You're just her personal simp."

Darui trembled with fury.

You bastard!