Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

"Shhhhhh!"

Shadow clones threw ropes from every direction, binding Tsunade's legs, arms, waist, and even looping them under her arms.

Finally, with a synchronized leap, the clones jumped in opposite directions, suspending Tsunade in mid-air.

Naruto didn't know many binding techniques. Those who understood would get the reference. Those who didn't—probably best they didn't.

As Tsunade was lifted off the ground, the sudden weightlessness made her feel momentarily dizzy.

After several seconds, she steadied herself and glanced down at the awkward posture she was in. The ropes emphasized certain...features, leaving her blushing and furious. She glared at Naruto with an icy expression.

"Let me go."

"Nope."

Naruto refused flatly, grinning. "You're the one who said you wanted to spar with me, Lady Tsunade. You can't just back out now. Isn't that bullying a child?"

"Are you still calling yourself a child?" Tsunade snapped, grinding her teeth. "Uzuki Yugao told me everything. What kind of child are you?"

Naruto pointed to his face. "I still look like one."

That made Tsunade's temples twitch.

Right. I only ever treated you nicely because of that baby face, and now I'm tied up because of it.

And yet… it's not necessarily a bad thing.

At the very least, it proves Naruto is strong enough to be trusted on the front lines.

Tsunade sighed. "Alright, kid. I admit it—you're strong enough. Now untie me."

"Can't do that." Naruto scratched the back of his head, stepping forward boldly. "I won, so it's only fair you get punished. Any objections, Lady Tsunade?"

Tsunade's voice turned cold. "What kind of punishment are you thinking of?"

Her aura flared.

Dangerously.

Naruto hesitated between her angry glare and the mental prompt from the system, offering a tempting reward.

Which do I choose?

Of course—the reward.

He walked beneath Tsunade and glanced up. Her green robe had flipped slightly, revealing her white undergarments stretched to their limit. It looked like they might burst at any moment.

So this is the legendary scenery of Konoha...

"Where do you think you're looking, brat?!"

"I'm admiring the view."

"What view?! Let me down—now!"

Tsunade's roar dropped the surrounding air to freezing point.

"Okay, okay... I'll be quick. Please be patient, Lady Tsunade."

Despite his words, Naruto's eyes wandered to the distant mountains as if buying himself time.

Tsunade glanced down, glaring—but from her angle, she couldn't see what he was doing.

What the hell is this brat planning?

Truth was, Tsunade could have broken free from those ropes at any time. She allowed herself to be tied, curious to see what Naruto would do. It was just a little test.

So then—what would Naruto choose?

What he chose was bold.

He stared at Tsunade's black heels for a while, struggling with himself.

How do I even "bully" Tsunade?

This isn't some card game… If I go too far, she'll flatten my skull. And she'll definitely stop being nice to me.

Naruto was so lost in thought that Tsunade, suspended above, actually started getting sleepy.

She yawned, her rosy lips parting slightly. They looked soft. Almost inviting.

Naruto swallowed hard.

Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he stepped forward, stood on his toes, and gently kissed her lips.

Soft and warm—like freshly steamed buns right out of the oven.

Tsunade gasped, the sound barely more than a whisper, but it sent a jolt through Naruto.

He backed off instantly.

[Ding! Option 3 complete. Reward granted: 5% Nine-Tails Control.]

The whole thing lasted under two seconds.

Naruto turned and ran like his life depended on it.

In the original story, I called her Grandma Tsunade... so does this count as kissing my grandma?!

Tsunade was frozen. Eyes wide. Lips still slightly parted.

She'd guessed Naruto might take advantage of the moment to hug her or sneak a peek—but a kiss?

Her brain short-circuited.

How did such a sweet, innocent boy turn into a pervert?!

With a sudden burst of chakra, Tsunade snapped all the ropes.

BOOM!

She landed with such force that a spiderweb of cracks spread across the ground.

"Naruto Uzumaki, STOP RIGHT THERE!"

"I'm not stupid! Why would I stop?!"

"You think you can escape? This is my territory!"

"Lalalala—"

"YOU'RE DEAD, BRAT!"

Tsunade stormed after him, scattering shadow clones as she chased him through the valley.

Naruto didn't even think about fighting back. He ran for his life.

But Tsunade was right—there was no way to truly escape. This was still the battlefield, and the system might punish him for leaving it.

So, when she finally cooled off a bit, Naruto deliberately slowed down.

Tsunade caught him—and unloaded everything she had. Kicks, punches, slaps. At one point her high heels flew off.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He activated his Nine-Tails Chakra Mode and tried to fight back while retreating.

"YOU DARE TO FIGHT BACK?!" she shouted.

She grabbed him in a headlock, pulling his face into her chest. "Try anything else and I'll kill you!"

That ended the fight.

Naruto went completely limp, unable to retaliate. No ninja could withstand that kind of psychological damage.

Five minutes later, he lay on the ground, gasping for air.

I never need to wash my face again.

"Still feeling cheeky?"

"Neve—"

"Hmm?!"

Tsunade flicked him hard on the forehead.

Naruto winced. "I won't do it again!"

He meant it. His whole body still ached. If he said another word, she might step on his face next time.

The sky had turned pale with dawn.

Tsunade left first, fuming.

A few minutes later, Naruto limped over to the mountain on the other side of camp. He needed to let out Yugito.

After all, Tsunade had already kicked the hell out of him—might as well use it as cover.

The moment he was far enough away, he summoned some clones, checked the surroundings, and pulled Yugito out of the sealed space.

—

Inside the space, Yugito slowly woke. Still dressed in a revealing white cheongsam, she sighed when she saw she was lying on the ground again.

Yet… someone had draped a blanket over her.

Still showing me a little kindness, huh? she thought.

She bathed herself silently. She wasn't spoiled—had been a Jinchūriki since age two. The people in her village treated her like a monster for years.

Naruto's roughness wasn't what hurt her. It was this tiny bit of kindness that left her unsure.

What should I do? Help him? Or betray him for my village?

She raised her head under the shower, letting the water fall, pondering.

Then—a light appeared under her feet and sucked her out.

She landed in Naruto's arms.

"Wha—YOU AGAIN?!" she yelped.

Her eyes still ached from rolling them all night.

Naruto chuckled. "Look closely. You're not in the space anymore."

Sure enough, they were outside. Her face flushed red. She quickly turned and backed away.

"I… I can go now?"

"Sure," Naruto nodded, then added, "But maybe wait till you put something on."

"Ah—!" Yugito looked down and immediately used her hands to cover herself.

She stammered, "I-I want to change first…"

Naruto, grinning, resealed her into the space and followed her in.

Inside, he snapped his fingers. Warm sunlight filled the world.

"Naruto-sama," Yugito murmured. "I… I want to change."

Naruto gently tilted her chin up and stroked her wet golden hair. "Breakfast first. You need nutrition."

"Noooo—!"

—

Back at the Konoha camp.

Tsunade had removed her green robe, lounging in a white undershirt that showed her curves. She wasn't resting.

Xi Yan had just woken up, so Tsunade asked her to get food and sake.

As she stared at the wine, her cheeks flushed again.

Damn brat. Not cute at all. How dare he kiss me...

She couldn't stop remembering their past interactions. Naruto had always been sneaky with her.

"Little pervert… I thought you were just a sweet kid!" she slammed the table.

Uzuki Yugao flinched.

"Please drink slowly, Lady Tsunade," she said cautiously.

"I can handle it," Tsunade muttered.

"But you need to lead the troops. You can't get drunk."

Tsunade stopped drinking, sighed, and turned to Xi Yan.

"You slept with Naruto, right?"

"…"

"You're much older than him. Isn't that… awkward?"

"…"

"Have you thought about the future? Maybe he only likes you for now."

"…"

"Y—"

"That's enough, Lady Tsunade!"

Yugao stood up, her voice trembling with fury.

"What happens between me and Naruto is our business! Even as Hokage, you have no right to interfere!"

She stormed out—regretting it immediately. She could hear Tsunade breathing heavily behind her.

What have I done?!

Is she going to confiscate my house? Throw me in jail?!

Still, she wiped the sweat from her palms and walked out, proud.

Sometimes, respect is worth more than life.

Even if Tsunade is Hokage.

"…"

"…"

Pfft—

Tsunade didn't get angry. Instead, she smirked, poured herself another glass, and sighed.

Didn't think Uzuki Yugao would get mad for Naruto. Looks like she's all in.

She looked at her reflection in the wine.

Big eyes, soft lashes, flawless skin.

"Honestly… I'm not even old. I'm prettier than Uzuki Yugao."

"No wonder the brat would have… thoughts. Even I fell for him."

"With the Hundred Healing Technique, I'll still look like this at a hundred."

She pouted, blinked playfully, and her old melancholy faded.

Her eyes glowed like sunshine rippling through water.

—

At noon, Tsunade gathered the command group.

Nara Shikaku predicted that Kumogakure would launch a surprise attack soon, and proposed an ambush strategy.

Kakashi, Guy, Hiashi, and Choza Akimichi formed a five-cornered formation to flank any attackers.

If Yunyin didn't show, they'd move the camp. But if they did—today would be the day they were crushed.

Tsunade agreed.

Then, with a casual tone, she added one more order:

"Uzumaki Naruto will carry a signal flare and scout for Kumogakure's forces."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest—then met Tsunade's sharp gaze.

"What? You have something to say?!"

"No, ma'am. Lady Tsunade's decision is perfect."

He stood at attention and saluted.

"I will complete the mission with honor!"