Kiss Me Like You’re Not Married.

It was late when he finally arrived back home, his wife asked him so many questions but he simply said"it was alright we had a good time." And thanked her for it with a kiss to her head.

Now, Ha-eun had long gone to bed after making him change out of his slightly wrinkled clothes and laughing that he "actually looked like a man who had fun for once." She kissed him, ran a hand through his messy hair, then turned in for the night, asking him to relax a bit if he's not yet sleepy.

And he did.

Now it was just him in the living room, alone in the dim light of the TV he wasn't watching. A cold glass of water in one hand. His other hand fiddling absently with his wedding ring.

He didn't feel guilty.

No. He felt…

Buzz.

His phone lit up next to him.

He turned the screen on, thumb hovering over it and his eyes glinted with confusion at first before they darkened as he read the messages from Tae-hyun.

T.:

"I don't know what the fuck you did to me."

T.:

"You slapped me.. made me call you that name"

T.:

"You tied my wrists.. I couldn't move."

T.:

"And you just kept going like it didn't even matter how much I cried or shook."

T.:

"Like you already knew I'd take it."

T.:

"You didn't even fucking kiss me until the very end."

T.:

"And when you did.."

T.:

"It felt like.."

T.:

"FUCK."

T.:

"I don't fucking know.."

T.:

"I liked it.. I liked all of it.."

.

.

The messages didn't stop there and he scrolled down slowly to read them and take each word in.

.

.

T.:

"Even the way you looked at me.. it's like you knew you broke something in me and didn't even care!"

T.:

"I'm not into this shit joon-won."

T.:

"Or at least I thought i wasn't."

T.:

"And now I'm limping home with your fucking cigarettes taste still in my mouth.."

T.:

"What the fuck did you do to me Joon?!"

T.:

"You're a fucking sadist.. and you were right."

T.:

"You are daddy."

T.:

"fuck."

T.:

"I can't even say this shit to your face.. I couldn't."

T.:

"I didn't even know what to say in the car."

T.:

"And you looked so fucking calm."

T.:

"Can we break that "no calling" rule?"

T.:

"Just for tonight i need to talk to you."

T.:

"Please.."

T.:

"You're not gonna say anything are you?"

T.:

"Fine.. I'll just shower."

T.:

"I need to get you off of me."

T.:

"You're still everywhere.."

T.:

"Even seo-yeon said she could taste your cigarette on my lips.."

T.:

"Fuck."

T.:

"call me."

⸻

Joon-Won read each message in silence. Slowly. His thumb stopped scrolling after that last one.

The corner of his mouth twitched.

He exhaled, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. His mind was unnervingly calm, a quiet, calculated current beneath the chaos Tae-hyun had poured into those messages. He imagined it: that tightly-wound, conflicted man stumbling into the house, flushed and bruised and still trembling with aftershocks, trying to hold himself together in front of his wife.

And failing.

That little crack. That slow unravel.

Joon-Won hadn't expected the cigarette thing to stick. But of course it did. The kiss was intentional. He did it on purpose. A stain. A mark he wouldn't be able to explain away.

He typed a response slowly with a slight smirk on his face, his heart was racing at the fact that he made Tae-hyun feel that way when he experienced a glance of what he really is.

Joon-Won:

"you weren't supposed to like it, but i knew you would."

"I saw it the second your eyes looked up at me with tears when I choked you."

Then another.

Joon-Won:

"and you did say daddy.."

"you said it like you meant it, like you needed it.

"You screamed it."

Joon-Won:

"And you were fucking beautiful all tied up shaking under me like that, tae."

He waited.

No reply.

A minute passed. Then five. Then twenty.

He called.

No answer.

He called again.

Still nothing.

He stared at the "Missed Call" banner and smiled to himself.. not bitter, not surprised. Just amused. He imagined the phone vibrating on some marble sink across town, forgotten as Tae-hyun panicked to keep his lies straight.

Eventually, Joon-Won put the phone down onto the table.

He turned the tv off with a sigh and covered his eyes with his arm. Leaning back on the chair. Letting the silence of the room swallow him while his thoughts takes him back to that car with Tae-hyun under him.

————

The Next Day came by quick, he slept like shit that night. Waking up to check his phone and see if he had received an answer back but there was nothing.

Now it was 3:47PM, he was at work already.

He was halfway through a case report, eyes skimming a column of words, when his phone buzzed suddenly. Taking his mind back to checking it again.

It's Tae-hyun. His name popped on his phone like a reminder.

He froze.

Then picked it up.. pressed the phone to his ear without a word.

"…hey."

Tae-hyun's voice.

It was soft. Hesitant. Barely audible above the hum of office noise around him.

"You finally remembered I exist?" Joon-Won said quietly, leaning back in his chair.

"I fell asleep," came the reply, rushed and defensive. "My wife was talking to me, and I just.. I forgot the phone in the bathroom."

"You forgot about me?"

A pause.

"No," Tae-hyun admitted. "I didn't."

Joon-Won smiled, though his voice didn't soften. "So why the silence?"

"I panicked."

"You wrote paragraphs about how I fucked the soul out of you. Then ghosted me."

"I wasn't ghosting. I just— I don't know how to feel, okay?" His voice trembled slightly. "I've never had someone do that to me. I've never liked it. I didn't even think I could."

"You liked being used."

"I liked… being yours in that instance."

That made Joon-Won pause.

Tae-hyun kept going, like the dam had broken. "I wanted you to stop, and I didn't. I wanted more, and I couldn't ask. I couldn't even look at you after. I still can't. I'm at work and I keep thinking about the way you looked at me like I was yours already."

"You are."

The silence on the other end was thick. Heavy.

"…what does that mean?" Tae-hyun asked finally. His voice was quiet and a slight shyness peaked through. Like he wasn't sure what he just heard was right.

Joon-Won let the question linger. He looked out the window at the sharp skyline, the glass glinting with late afternoon sun.

"It means," he said slowly, "I'm not done with you. And now that you've admitted what you are, you won't be done with me either."

Tae-hyun's breath caught.

"I still taste you," Joon-Won said. "Do you still taste me?"

"…yeah."

"I want to hear it."

"What?"

"I want you to say it. What you want from me. Now that you're not hiding behind your wife or your job or your fucking excuses. Say it."

There was a long, trembling pause.

Then, in a soft shy whisper came Tae-hyun voice.

"…I.. want you to do it again."

Joon-Won closed his eyes when he heard that and licked his lips. Then he Grinned to himself.. this is exactly what he wanted.