12-Reason for not saying no
I didn’t have time to grab my own sword. Instead, I rushed toward the last orc, wielding the oversized weapon I got from the other one. He released an arrow, but I managed to read its trajectory. As I swung the sword, our blades clashed.
“Fucking—!” I nearly bounced back as if I’d struck a boulder. Seeing me stagger, he let out a noise that resembled a chuckle.
“I’m going to shove this sword up your ass and see if you can laugh after that!”
I shouted, spitting blood onto his face. Rather than respond verbally, he swung its sword again. I blocked it, but the impact shot pain through my body, aggravating the wounds from the arrow and the earlier fight as if a heated iron was pressed on my body. I fell to one knee. Without giving me time to breathe, more strikes buried me deeper toward the ground. I raised my sword to block his attacks but the momentum of the heavy mass of iron he wielded was too much for me.
My wrist throbbed, and the sword slipped from my grip. As I tried to retrieve it, a brutal kick to my face sent my head reeling. For a second I thought my head was torn off my body but the mix of dull and sharp pain surrounding all of my body brought me back. I felt its sword pierce the ground as its massive hand seized my throat, squeezing tighter. I struggled to breathe. Fucker. He could have just run through me with his sword but he chose this.
“Calm down,” I told myself. My body was screaming for me to kick and scream. The fact that I couldn’t breathe immediately woke up my instinctive side but I had to be smart. I couldn’t wrestle with it on top of me.
With a stealthy move, I pulled another dagger, moving slowly despite my consciousness fading out due to lack of oxygen to not get noticed. Aiming carefully—
“Rghhhhhhhhh!” I stabbed him right in the testicles. The blade sank in easily; the skin there was thinner than I expected. I didn’t stop at one thrust—I drove the dagger in again and again until he rolled off me, instinctively shielding his groin. Coughing, I realized my face must be turning purple. He leaped on top of me again, but this time, I fought back as we rolled in the mud. I pushed my finger into the eye, feeling it getting destroyed as a squishy, revolting sensation filled me. I stabbed him in the throat with my other hand and I wrenched it by putting all of my body weight into it, and, in one swift motion, severed its throat, splattering myself with its blood.
“Fuck this. Fuck all of this to hell.”
I scrambled to my feet and checked for more orcs—none. I ignored the arrow still lodged in my chest, gathering my daggers and the fallen orc's sword. As I turned to leave, I spotted the man I had spoken to when I first entered the village. He cradled a woman in his arms—naked, her neck twisted at an unnatural angle. There were no tears in his eyes as if the heat from the burning buildings evaporated all of it.
“Orcs are dead,” I said, limping past him.
“You did this! You caused this!”
He shouted behind me. I stopped and glanced back at him.
“You’re fucking welcome, pal.”
I turned to leave but paused when I heard footsteps behind me.
“You ungrateful bitch!”
A kitchen knife flew past, nearly gouging my eye. I dodged, but I wasn’t sure if my left eye was damaged; blood covered it, obscuring my vision.
“This happened because you brought that demihuman here! You and you—”
I lunged at him, pulling him to the ground and pinning him beneath me. I slowly lowered my sword to his throat, listening to his desperate gurgles as he drowned in his own blood until they faded into silence with a face devoid of emotion. I rose and cast one last look at his corpse before walking away.
“You reap what you sow.”
Killing civilians went against my code as a soldier, no matter their actions. I was a trained warrior who had chosen to be here; they were just unlucky civilians. Their anger and irrational behavior were understandable. But you know what? I was no longer a fucking soldier. For all I cared, they could go to hell.
I soon found Larve.
“Do you remember how to light a fire?” I asked.
“No.”
“It’s okay. I’ll help you. Come on.”
I cauterized all my wounds except for my eye, which I simply washed. Pulling the arrow from my chest was painful, but I focused on lengthening my coat and cutting fabric from it to patch my wounds. I was impressed I managed to do all that before losing consciousness.
…
The girl knew this was her fault. The man lying with his head in her lap was groaning in pain as he slept. His face was bruised, and his left eye was covered with a patch. Despite the bandages, blood seeped through. He had saved her. He had fed her. He had taught her songs. Yet she hadn’t listened to him. Now he was hurt.
Larve opened her mouth and sang. It wasn’t one of the songs he had taught her. It didn’t have any words. Songs came from waves crashing on a beach, winds blowing over a mountain, and the changing of seasons. It was impossible to express in any known language. Two tears fell from her star-shaped eyes, tears carrying the weight of entire oceans, soaking into his wounds.
…
I looked down at the fragile creature before me. She was so small. My hand was bigger than her head. Breathe in, breathe out. Her breathing was silent, yet I could hear it clearly. My hand slowly approached her, but just before I touched her, I pulled back. I listened to her breathing more intently. I realized I had forgotten my own breathing and took a deep, quiet breath, afraid of waking her. I lightly brushed my index finger against her. She was warm and soft, and I felt my heart pounding in my chest.
How many months had it been since this little creature entered my life? When had I first thought I would die for her? I didn’t know, nor did I care. She was my little sister, and nothing could change that.
“I’m going out with my friends.”
“I want to go with you!”
She stomped her feet on the ground.
“You can’t come with me. You’ll get bored there anyway.”
“But I want to…”
I knelt down to her level and gently caressed her cheek.
“I’m going to buy you the chocolate you like the most when I come back.”
Her eyes lit up.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Really, really?”
I laughed.
“Older brother promise. But only if you listen to Mother.”
She hugged me tightly, and I caressed her back.
“I love you, Brother.”
I smiled back at her. You fucking dumbass. Say you love her back!
…
“No. No. NO! Let me go! My family is there! Fucking bitch!” I shouted, struggling against the soldiers restraining me. Three or four more soldiers caught up, pushing me to the ground.
“My sister is there! Let me fucking go!”
My fingertips bled as I gripped the ground, trying to hold on while they dragged me away.
“I’m going to kill all of you! I swear I’m going to kill all of you!”