Kaia the Argent Wing

 

I woke the next morning to find that my friends had surrounded my sleeping sofa with a little privacy screen of stacked classroom chairs. A note on one of the chairs read, 'Gone to ransack the neighbourhood again. Good luck with crafting.'

Once I was washed and dressed, I headed down to get some food. The breakfast spread was noticeably lacking in some things today. Bacon was missing, and we were only allowed one egg each. I didn't bother with either, opting for a slice of toast and some cereal. Except… the milk was being rationed, so I only got enough to make the cereal damp.

I was just scooping the first spoonful of cereal into my mouth, alone at a table, when someone changed that. Finn's warm, gently toned bicep brushed mine as he sat down, and suddenly my heart was fluttering around like a sparrow stuck inside a car.

"H-hi," I squeaked softly.

He chuckled when he saw my expression and murmured, "Sorry. Uh… I was feeling cheeky and you're cute as heck. Is that too forward? I don't know where we stand but…"

"I think you're hot?" I whispered, surreptitiously checking to make sure nobody else was watching. "I thought we were, you know… going to get to know each other?"

"Sorry, sorry…" he winced. "I can move."

"No!" I blurted, perhaps too loud. "No… it's fine. Um… how did we do overnight?"

"Storm is mellowing out, but still going. Snow is getting deep now. People are saying we might need to hunker down and wait it out," he explained, his arm brushing mine while he ate. God above, every touch set my nerves on fire.

Mentally shaking off the sensation, I asked, "Will it actually end? I don't think this storm is natural."

"Yeah, I gotta agree," he grumbled darkly. "At least it's pushed those redcaps back into their den in the elementary school. Nasty fuckers."

"The redcaps live in the school?" I asked.

"Yup, they come out of the fog to steal and kill, then run back inside," he nodded. "A second group of folks went in there today to try and clear them out, but no sign from them so far. Hope they're okay."

My spoon paused on its way to my mouth, and inwardly I cringed. Shit. God damn it. My instinct to play the hero was rising.

"That wasn't very smart of them," I said.

Finn snorted out a surprised laugh. "Yeah… I guess it wasn't."

I began to join in, but the laughter died on my lips almost immediately when I realised we were laughing about yet more people dying. The amusement turned to bitter ice in my chest, and it looked like Finn realised the same thing.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, mulling that over for a while. It was hard to keep that solemn attitude though, because we kept sharing these glances. He'd look at me, then I would look up and meet his eyes, then we'd stay staring for a second, then oop, back to staring at the table.

"Are you interested in uh… you know… trying things?" He asked quietly.

My heart rate punched through the ceiling in an instant, and I opened my mouth to reply that yeah, I'd love to see what kissing a dude felt like… but I hesitated. Why was I stuck on this? No. No, I wanted to try kissing a boy at least once, and— wait, was he suggesting anything like that at all?

I coughed into my hand to hide my nervousness and said, "Maybe we should go and check the wall near the bike shed while we continue this conversation?"

"Yeah, okay…" he replied with the cutest little embarrassed grin.

****

 

By the time we arrived at the bike shed, I was practically vibrating with nervous excitement. Oh my gosh, this was really happening!

Evidently, Finn could see just how erratic I was being, because he hesitantly took my hands and held them still. "I um… I guess I should just come out and say it. I think you're cute as fuck and I want to make out… but if that's not what you want to do then it's fine. I know what it's like to get… well let's just say I found out I didn't like girls in a very unfun way."

"How so?" I asked, then shook my head. "Wait no, you don't have to answer that."

A gust of wind sliced ice across my exposed skin, and we huddled in closer together. The weather was not really ideal for making out anyway. If he wanted to back out based on that alone I wouldn't mind.

He laughed lightly and shrugged. "There's nothing super terrible about it. I was at a party and a girl who had a crush on me misread some signals and started making out with me. There was lots of body contact and uh… yeah… I didn't like it. I know a lot of gay guys say that boobs are still great… but they aren't my thing."

"Okay…" Crap. Should I tell him I had a girl alter ego? Was that relevant considering that I was a dude right now? It shouldn't matter. I mean… my gender was still he/him, even if sometimes I looked different. He'd be involved with Kai, not Kaia/Silver.

Ah wait, I knew how to frame it… "So uh… in light of that, I think you might want to know that I've been dealing with some… gender stuff."

His eyes widened, and I realised I was so distracted by the ethics of my situation that I forgot to worry about his views on said 'gender stuff'.

"God damn it," he muttered, but he didn't drop my hands.

I gulped… oh no.

He saw my expression and gave me a quick smile. "Oh… I mean I support you with… whatever it is you're dealing with. It's just that this has happened to me before. Went to a club and hit on this person I thought was a twink. We made out, but after that we talked a bit. Turns out they were a she/they."

My heart sank, and I began to work my hands free of his, but he stopped me. His thumbs began to tap out an unconscious rhythm on my hands and he said, "Okay… so if you're still up for it, I'm okay with uh… being an experiment? I'm not sure about that wording, but whatever. Point is, I'm desperate for some sort of affection, and if I'm not wrong, you've never kissed a dude. Who knows, maybe this will help you with the gender thing."

"I… that's a lot of justifications," I mumbled, head spinning. "If you're really still interested—I mean yeah, I've never kissed a guy and well… I don't know, maybe we're way overthink—"

With a chuckle, he pulled me in against him and suddenly… We were kissing. My hands ended up against his chest, where I could feel the soft, warm muscle of his pecs, which were especially nice in the sub zero temperatures. His lips were sort of rough at the outer edges, and I felt the prickle of stubble on my smooth skin. It was all so… overwhelming, but in a way that was kinda delightful. The way he was holding me, the way he was taking charge, and the way he smelled oh my goodness.

Each time I sucked in a breath between the push and pull of the kiss, his very gentle, masculine smell filled me and my heart skipped a beat. Then, he slowly requested entry with his tongue, and I shivered. Oh god, okay, I definitely liked this. Guys were so great… at least the ones like Finn.

I was savouring every detail, hoping I'd get another taste, but knowing it probably wouldn't happen, at least with Finn.

Oh, his arms too! They were wrapped around me, strong as all hell and holding me tight. So warm too! How was he so warm? He broke the kiss after a moment more, just allowed me to rest against his chest for a minute.

“Wow,” I mumbled, and pushed away from him shakily. I felt so jittery in a very very good way.

“That was nice,” he said, then pumped a fist.

I laughed at his little victory dance. “I um… what happens now?”

Scratching the back of his head, he gave me a wry smile, “Keep me posted on that gender thing, I think. I mean… as you are now you’re amazing, but… yeah. What were you planning to do today?”

The fact he kept calling me amazing and cute and stuff was… it was making me very warm and fuzzy inside. He was such a good dude. I hope once all this Silver stuff was done I could try something with him.

****

Finn and I hung out a little longer, sitting on the bleachers of the tennis court before he had to leave for guard duty. As soon as he was gone, I pulled my hood up over my head and rushed off to hop the fence. As much as I enjoyed the kiss and his company, I wanted to make sure the people inside the elementary school were okay.

The sky weighed down heavily on me as I forded the river of snow that used to be a street. Each step soaked my clothing, and I began to regret my urgency. Damp clothing even at just below freezing temperatures could be dangerous.

Making sure nobody could see me, I slipped into my safe house and took the stairs to the bedroom where I kept my Silver gear. Changing back into Kaia, or as everyone else knew her—Silver—was like finally taking off a pair of hiking boots after wearing them for days on end. It was freeing—like my very soul itself was suddenly nimble and unrestrained.

Even the simple act of putting on clothing felt more natural. It was an amazing and… thought provoking experience. I was just finishing tying the laces on my boots when I heard a quiet knock at the door.

I froze, imitating the world outside for a long moment before the knocking resumed. Creeping downstairs, I slipped into the sitting room that looked out onto the front lawn and peeked out of a curtain.

There on the doorstep was April, clutching a school bag and shivering as the chill wind did its best to rob her of her warmth.

Taking a moment to check that there was nobody else with her, I turned and made my way to the front door. I went to open it, but remembered that April didn't actually have permission to enter.

Time to rectify that.

Sorting through the storm system, I found my link to the wards around the house and investigated. I could feel that there were a lot of ways I could potentially twist it, but none were currently available, save two. I could feed mana to the wards to regenerate the power they used to function, and I could grant access to the person who was on the threshold. I did so, then opened the door.

She bustled inside the moment there was enough room, and I closed the door behind her with a snick.

"Finally! Holy fuck it's cold. I saw you sneaking away and I have this axe for— oh…" the words died in her throat as she looked up at me. Then her cheeks began to redden. "Wow."

"What?" I demanded, taking a self conscious step backwards.

"I… uh…" April mumbled, eyes still as big as saucers. "You're, uh… you're fucking gorgeous."

Heat infused my cheeks as if I'd stuck my face into April's forge. The real one! That wasn't a euphemism! Oh god, now I was thinking about her 'forge' and…

April cleared her throat and shook herself from head to toe. That didn't appear to have the effect she wanted, because she then proceeded to slap herself really hard.

"Ow!" She gasped, and looking quite dizzy, began to tip sideways.

I caught her easily, my reaction times and my strength as Silver were phenomenal, but that led to a whole host of extra embarrassing feelings. April was quite a bit older than me, but she had a definite golden-retriever-lesbian vibe that was undeniably attractive. She was also shorter than me, which meant she was staring up at me with those dazed, puppy dog eyes. Oh gosh. Suddenly she looked very cute.

"April," I said, but… what the hell else did I add to that aborted sentence?

Whatever. I led her by the hand back into the sitting room and gently pushed her into a sofa before sitting down myself. Having some soft stability under her apparently allowed her to collect herself.

"Jesus fuck, Kaia. How are you that fucking beautiful?" She blurted, still staring at me. "How has everyone else not gone feral trying to win your affections? Shit, I'm tempted myself, even though you're eight or so years younger than me and we already have that platonic workshop bond going on. It's damned hard to reconcile the two versions of you in my head, by the way. Tiny cute Kai and tall, angelic Silver? This is nuts!"

I couldn't help but laugh. That whole rant was pure April. She was great, and fast becoming one of my favourite people. "I think I might be a little intimidating to most people attracted to women… except in the case of strong, confident lesbian women it seems."

"You think I'm strong and confident?" She said, giving me a radiant smile. "Do you know how difficult it is not to climb you like a god damned tree right now?"

"Chill, April," I begged her. She was perhaps laying it on a little too thick… or maybe I was loving the praise a little too much. I was unsure which. Maybe both?

Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. "Right. Right. I think I concussed myself a little with that slap. Sorry. That was all totally out of line. I'm really sorry."

"I said chill," I murmured gently, cupping her face and leaning in to give her as stern of a glare as I could manage.

I have no idea what I was thinking, getting my face that close to hers. My heart was already tap dancing on my spine, and she was clearly high on angelic beauty… what the hell else did I expect?

One second she was a foot away and apologising, the next her eyes had zeroed in on my lips and we met in the middle. I was kissing my friend, and the one person who knew my secret… and it was so good. Soft and supple, her lips explored me with a hunger that spoke of fingers and wet heat.

The contrast between this and my kiss with Finn was jarring. With him, it'd been soft and safe, where he handled me like a sip of fragrant artisan tea from the finest china. With April… It was like downing an entire double espresso shot mochaccino in one go—scaldingly hot, terrifyingly energising, outrageously tasty, and almost definitely bad for me.

We broke apart just as quickly as we'd begun, and April practically leapt off the sofa. "Oh no. Oh shit. I did not mean to do that. I'm so sorry."

"April…" I whispered, trying to mentally gather myself.

"You're like… my buddy, my workshop partner in crime… fuck and I'm way older than you!" She babbled, beginning to pace. "This is messed up. I'm messed up!"

"April!" I yelled as something inside me snapped. "Stop! Be chill!"

She froze, and stared at me for a solid five seconds before deflating into an armchair. "Right. Right. God damn."

"I really liked the kiss," I told her, letting myself break into a grin.

She rolled her eyes and tried to play it cool, but her cheeks went just a little more red. "Yeah, yeah."

"We don't have to make this weird. It was just a wild thing that happened," I continued. "We had our own mini-apocalypse where the laws of physics went full rom-com. It's fine. We're back to like, the normal apocalypse."

She nodded along while I reassured her, then suddenly lit up. "Right! I was coming to give you something. Where did I put the bag?"

"I think you dropped it in the hallway."

"Okay… give me a second…" she said, popping up out of the armchair to retrieve her bag.

She was out there for almost a full minute, but I didn't call and rush her. We both needed to calm down after that… chaos. Holy shit. How did… how did we end up kissing? Me and April. Absolutely wild.