Kaguya-sama Wants My Surrender!

"JuJu-sama, here's a towel for you," Umi said, walking over with a towel in hand. "And a bathrobe too."

"Thank you, Umi-chan," Sajuna replied softly.

"Oh, you're welcome." Umi headed toward the refrigerator. "It's so hot. Want an ice cream before taking a shower?"

"No," Sajuna hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. "I'd better take a shower first."

"Then we'll eat ice cream when you come out."

"Mm." 

Sajuna nodded, glanced briefly at Amamiya, and headed toward the bathroom with the towel and bathrobe in her arms.

"What about you, Amamiya-kun?" The succubus girl turned to him. "Snow cone, ice cream, or Coke? Pick one."

"I'll take a Coke," Amamiya said without hesitation.

"Got it."

Umi opened the refrigerator, letting a wave of cool air blow over her face. She closed her eyes with a contented sigh. "Mm, so refreshing~"

At the same time, a human head appeared in the refrigerator.

The first time Umi saw a head inside, she was terrified and almost screamed. But now that she encountered it daily, she had grown accustomed to it. 

It really was true: habit could be a terrifying force.

Umi grabbed a can of Coke and an ice cream for herself, closed the refrigerator, and turned toward Amamiya. 

"Here, for you."

Amamiya accepted the Coke and sniffed the air. "Why do I smell instant noodles?"

"I had some last night," Umi admitted with a slight cough. "I couldn't sleep, so I got up and made instant noodles..."

She continued with a smile, "You know, my dad loves watching movies. On weekends, he'd binge a bunch of them, and when he got hungry late at night, he'd secretly make instant noodles without telling me. But the sound of the boiling water always woke me up, and I'd end up sneaking out to demand some too. Midnight noodles tasted amazing—probably because I had to wrestle with him for a share."

"So now, whenever I can't sleep, I do the same thing. It's like a habit."

As she spoke, Umi walked to the balcony and opened the windows to let some air in.

"As expected," Amamiya teased, "food always tastes better when it's stolen from someone else's plate."

"Exactly!" Umi replied with a grin, putting her hand on her hip. "Now turn on the TV and find something to watch."

"Alright, alright," Amamiya muttered.

The succubus girl plopped down on the sofa beside him, unwrapped her watermelon-flavored Lotte popsicle, and began licking it delicately with her pink tongue.

"Ooh, it's the latest episode of World Wonder Stories!" Umi exclaimed as her eyes lit up.

The TV was airing the latest episode, featuring a simple plot: the heroine was walking home alone after work when a yellow-haired man approached her. To ward him off, she pulled out her phone and pretended to call her father.

"She's lying~" Umi quickly pointed out. "The phone screen isn't even lit. How could she make a call?"

Amamiya chimed in, "It's clearly a tactic."

Unfortunately, when you walk by the river often, it's inevitable that your feet will get wet.

The heroine found herself being hit on again tonight. She took out her cell phone, its screen completely black, and tried her usual trick. However, the yellow-haired man saw through her ruse immediately.

And then... this yellow-haired boy didn't rise to the occasion and become a "warrior of love" like Amamiya. 

Instead, he put on his headphones, nodded, bowed nervously, and swore he would never try chatting up the heroine again. 

The heroine, surprised, asked him what had happened. The yellow-haired man explained that a man on the other end of her phone had sternly warned him not to tempt fate. 

"How is that possible?" The heroine's eyes widened in disbelief as she murmured, "...My father has been dead for years!"

Umi leaned forward excitedly, her attention glued to the TV. "Here it comes—the big twist!" 

The drama, World Wonder Stories, was infamous for its unpredictable twists and turns. 

The two continued watching in silence.

Moments later, Amamiya glanced at Umi. "Well, it's obvious—you guessed wrong."

The expected twist never came.

Instead, the story took an odd turn. The heroine initially believed it was a street prank, but the strange phenomenon began to weigh on her mind. She started verifying the situation with others. Whenever she yelled "Dad" into her seemingly dead phone and handed it to someone else, they would end up chatting animatedly, as though someone were actually on the other line.

"Could this be like The Truman Show?" Umi speculated. "Maybe everyone around her is in on it?"

"No," Amamiya replied, taking a sip of Coke. "If it were like The Truman Show, they'd add intricate details to every minor scene to make it believable."

And just like that, three years passed in the blink of an eye.

The heroine was preparing to get married. When she returned home to reunite with her mother, she finally shared the bizarre story about her phone. 

At first, her mother didn't believe her—until she heard a voice she'd longed to hear for years. Overcome with emotion, she burst into tears.

Amamiya was utterly dumbfounded. 

Three years! 

Do you even realize how I've been watching this for three years?! 

Passersby, coworkers, friends—you let so many people talk to your father through that phone! But you completely forgot about your own mother?! 

"I find it strange too," Umi chimed in, her expression bewildered. "If anyone misses Dad the most, it's got to be Mom, right?"

"Exactly!" Amamiya nodded. "It wasn't three days or three months—it was three years! Why didn't you tell her sooner?!"

Umi suddenly sat bolt upright. 

"Wait—this is bad! Really bad!"

Amamiya turned to her, puzzled. "What's wrong all of a sudden?"

"In the dungeon, remember that middle-aged uncle-level player we met? The one in his thirties or forties?" Umi asked nervously. "Do you remember him, Amamiya-kun?"

"I remember," Amamiya said, nodding. "His last name was Kurosawa—or at least that's what he said. No idea if it's real."

"Exactly!" Umi leaned in closer, the scent of watermelon lingering faintly in the air. Her face was inches from his as she said, "My dad is also a middle-aged uncle. What if he's been chosen as a player too?"

Her tone grew more anxious. "I spoke to him on the phone yesterday, and he sounded exhausted. He hung up after just a few words. Could it be... that he's already been selected for the game?"

"Don't overthink it," Amamiya said calmly. "Maybe your dad's just overworked."

"But we can't rule out the possibility of him being chosen," Umi replied, biting her lip with a worried look on her face.

Amamiya thought for a moment. "How about sending him a message and asking directly?"

"No," Umi quickly shook her head. "My dad has always been the kind of person who only shares good news, never bad. If he was a player, he wouldn't tell me. He'd just end up worrying about me instead..." 

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Amamiya frowned, waving his hand at the persistent sound.

Moments later, the buzzing resumed. 

"Ugh, that's so annoying!" 

Umi groaned in frustration. She stood up abruptly, shoved the rest of the ice cream into her mouth, and began swatting the air. It must've been when she opened the window for ventilation that a mosquito had flown in. 

What is the most annoying sound of summer? 

Without a doubt, it's the buzzing of mosquitoes. 

Mosquitoes are humanity's lifelong nemesis. No matter how good your mood is, the moment you hear that infuriating sound, irritation is inevitable. 

Bang! 

Umi began her mosquito-hunting crusade. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

---

Meanwhile, in the bathroom.

Sajuna had just finished her bath. As it was already late, she had skipped soaking and simply washed up quickly. She grabbed a towel and was about to step out when she heard strange noises coming from the living room.

Bang…!

Bang, bang…!

The loud slapping echoed sharply, striking like thunder in Sajuna's heart. 

"No… No way?" 

Sajuna froze, her hand gripping the door. Had she misheard? 

Taking a deep breath, she was about to open the door when the slapping sounds grew faster and more intense.

"…" 

Sajuna's eyes widened, her body stiffened, and her face turned red, flushing like a ripe tomato. Visible steam seemed to rise from her head.

"You two are too impatient!" 

"If you're really going to do that… at least wait until I leave!" 

Her cheeks burned even brighter as she bit her lower lip in embarrassment. The rapid pounding of her heart felt deafening in her ears.

"Did you forget I'm still in the bathroom?" 

"That must be it," she reasoned, gripping the towel tighter. 

"Otherwise, how could they... Hey, wait a second!" 

Sajuna's eyes widened in alarm as another thought struck her. 

"Could it be deliberate?" 

"Are they doing it because I'm in here? Does it make it more exciting for them?" 

"PERVERTS!" 

"That's so disgusting!" Sajuna's voice came out as a sharp whisper, her entire body trembling with humiliation. She pressed herself against the door, stiff as a board, not daring to make a sound or push the door open. Instead, she clenched her legs tightly together, trying to endure the strange heat spreading through her body. Holding her breath, she continued to eavesdrop, her imagination running wild with inappropriate scenes she had never even dared to think about.

"No, wait a second… Sajuna is still in the bathroom." 

"Let's wait for Sajuna to leave first!" 

"I can't hold back anymore. It's even more thrilling because Sajuna's still in the bathroom." 

"Wait, that's not okay. What if Sajuna hears us?" 

"Even better! Let's invite Sajuna to join us. Three's a party—we'll have three times the fun!" 

"…!!!" 

Sajuna shook her head frantically, trying to erase the horrifying images in her mind. She took a shaky breath, fear and mortification surging through her chest. 

"You want to play with three people?! There's no way I'd agree to that!" 

"I would rather die than surrender!" 

"I won't allow it!" 

Luckily, after a while, the noises in the living room ceased. 

"Phew…" 

Sajuna exhaled shakily, her legs weak and trembling. She clung to the doorframe for support, barely managing to keep herself upright.

"Is it… over?" 

Just as she was wondering if it was finally safe to step out, a muffled groan echoed from the living room. The distressed noise, undoubtedly feminine, sent another wave of embarrassment washing over Sajuna.

"Mmmmmm—" 

---

Meanwhile, in the living room.

It turned out the "enemy" was a relentless mosquito. Umi had been battling it tirelessly, sweat glistening on her forehead. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she slapped the tiny pest into oblivion.

Triumphantly, she inspected her hand, where the squashed mosquito remained as proof of her victory. Just as she was about to strike a victorious pose with her hands on her hips, her face suddenly froze. Her expression twisted as she hurriedly rushed toward Amamiya, humming and gesturing frantically.