Chapter 69: Laughing Rain
Aurelius stood still among nature as rain fell. The dull sound repeated itself in such a constant manner that it sounded no longer like the cause of single drops. It was more like one being. One being that surrounded him.
Once upon a time, Aurelius had thought he had a unique bond with nature. He thought the birds were signing for him. He thought the trees and rocks understood his mind and flowed along. But in the shapeless, indifferent rain, he understood all of that to have been a delusion.
Nature was separate from him. He didn't blend in it. It pushed him out. He couldn't sink his feet into the stones or become one with the water. His flesh was a barrier that made him separate.
The trees around him didn't care about him. They didn't even acknowledge his existence. To them, he was just an insignificant outsider. One that simply thought too highly of himself.
If anything, nature thought him pretentious.
The rain in Aurelius' ears transformed, turning into something filthy. Something more human, as if reaching out to him just to tell him how pathetic he was. Right then, he could recognize that constant sound.
Drops splashed against him like separate chortles. The sounds mixed, making a whole. Like an orchestra of human voices.
It was laughter.
***
Aurelius sat with a slouching posture and stared at his naked flesh after waking. It was the same dream. Over and over. It would never end. He could still see Balgair dying in his arms. He didn't even need to close his eyes. He was always there. In his darkest most miserable moment.
Had Aurelius lived only so that he could repeat Balgair's death over and over before he himself withered away? Did a coward truly die a thousand times?
The days were so cold. He tried to not think too much. His mind always wandered to the sleeping figure of that girl he left behind. He couldn't go an hour without thinking about it. Without imagining a different present. One enjoyed in the warmth of her smiles.
With dead eyes, he looked around the bedroom Damian had given him. It was the best room he had ever slept in, he had left the large window without blinds so that he could watch the city below. There was no risk of the sun waking him. He always rose first.
After sitting there and staring for what felt like either an hour or a minute until the sun finally showed just a slither of itself, Aurelius turned to his nightstand and got his crimson gloves. They fit perfectly and the red feel to them warmed him. They also hid his scar. One of his very first. The one he got during the heist on the Boerlow mansion. The one on his hands, going between his middle and index fingers.
How many had he gotten after that? He looked sorrowfully at his arms and legs and torso. All full of them. 50? 100? 200? He didn't know. He wasn't one to count. That was if they even could be counted.
There were amateurish slices, tiny and clean cuts, large and precise ones, and lastly the ugly patches of skin on his back and side. None were on his face. Even with the body like the devil's, he maintained the visage of an angel.
He put his gloved hands to his numb face and dragged them down as if peeling off a mask.
He could feel things change inside him. It was time. For the day. Again.
He only needed one last thing. He searched through his bag before finding it safely tucked away. Then he took off one glove and opened the vial that was almost half empty. He dipped in his pinky and put it in his mouth. Closing his eyes, he let the faint sensation he clinged to spread throughout.
After a while of indulging, Aurelius was about to put the vial away. However, he was struck by a desire and pulled it back.
'Just a little more. Just for today. It's a big day. A special day,' he thought, pushing and pulling.
The push was winning. He would do it again. He got closer. He—
A knock at the door shook him. The door opened. Aurelius quickly tucked the vial behind his back.
"Hey, it sounded like you were awake, so I— Sorry," Damian said and covered his eyes from Aurelius' nudity. "Uh, the plan. I thought we could work out the plan and—" Damian stopped to grunt in pain. Pain from his fingers. "We should begin our travels today. I got a solid idea."
"Right... Good work. I'll be right there."
***
They ate breakfast together. Aurelius ate breakfast with the man whose fingers he had chopped off the day before. As he watched Damian handle his food with one hand, he couldn't help but lower his gaze and clench his jaw.
Damian had hurried to a clinic and had succeeded at getting his fingers reattached. Rehabilitation would take some time, though.
While Damian explained his plans, he used his food as a distraction. He looked up for brief moments but then took his eyes off Aurelius like he would die if he held eye contact for more than a second. "So I went through all possible options and I came to the conclusion that—"
"Are you afraid of me?" Aurelius interrupted.
Damian looked up in surprise and took a while to straighten his posture before saying, "Intimidated. You're intimidating."
"Good. That you're not scared of me. That is good. I... was harsh. Impulsive as well. I thought if I did that to you, I'd feel better. If I knew how I'd feel now, I wouldn't have done it. I am... I regret it."
Damian nodded stiffly. "Thank you, Aurelius. I understand. You've been through a lot. I don't blame you."
"You don't?"
"I don't. I felt guilty about selling your location too. But backstabbing is what the business is all about." His eyes went wide a second after he realized what he implied. "No, I don't mean it's the only way. It's common, is all. I wouldn't betray you. This you. You're different. Believe me when I say, I may not like my situation, but you're the last man I would want to make an enemy out of."
Aurelius took a deep breath. "Good to hear. Now. Your plan."
"Right, so the spy—"
"Spy?"
"Yes, the one I... You weren't listening."
Aurelius gave a long blink.
Damian sighed and started over. "The objective is to kill Orpheus. One of the most powerful people in this whole wide world. You come in here announcing that typa stuff. Helluva thing to do. You see, on the rare occasions that he leaves the premises of his estate, he sends multiple identical decoys. What you suggested was to try to identify the decoys and attack him on the move, correct?"
Aurelius nodded. "Or I could infiltrate his estate and kill him there. In, out, done."
"Two enhancers were part of the plan, correct? How long exactly do you think you can hold off the might of Nexus on your own? How will you escape such a fortress with your energy reserves already depleted? When do you take the enhancers? You need to ingest them before the attack starts, correct? How long will you be able to function under the influence? You need to think these things through. You're not invincible. There is a very hard way for you to find that out. I hope you don't. Not in that way at least."
"Fine then. Tell me your perfect plan."
"I say we use a spy. Not for fishing out the real entourage. I'm sure the servants are kept far away from that, and infiltrating the guard is almost impossible."
"Why?"
"The guards are kept track of. They're the ones who pose the real threat to Orpheus. I bet his food is kept a close eye on as well, so poisoning would be a fool's errand."
"Okay. Where are you going with this? Just tell me what the spy will do."
"He will seek Orpheus' calendar."
Aurelius knit his brows. "What? Do you think the guy keeps a calendar? He'll have to steal from his secretary or something. How is that any better?"
"Not his real calendar. Just where he will be in the near future."
"I have two months, Damian."
"Oh, that'll be enough. Orpheus is a fairly busy man. The spy will see or hear something and we will go ahead and scout that place until Orpheus arrives. And when he does..."
"I erase him from this world," Aurelius finished. "So who is this spy you think is right for the job?"
Damian nodded. "His name is Amadeus."