It’s not that kind of malicious broadcast

A chilling sensation.

Was the cold seeping through the blanket that I must have wrapped tightly around myself? It wasn’t quite the season to be this cold yet. It was my first time experiencing fall, but could such differences exist?

In a half-awake state, I moved my hand to grasp the blanket more firmly, but I found nothing.

What was this?

With much effort, I turned my heavy body, squinting my eyes towards the floor under the bed. Sunlight pierced through the gap in the blackout curtains. The blanket basked leisurely in that warmth, spread across the floor.

Ah. Now that I thought about it, I vaguely remembered kicking something away forcefully during the night.

“Ugh…”

I let out a sound that couldn’t quite turn into words and groped for my phone on the bed. It was 2 PM. Considering the time I fell asleep, it was a late wake-up. As for the amount of alcohol I consumed…well, that was another story.

The number of notifications on the screen looked unfamiliar. It was a sight I had never seen on this phone before. The number of messages received last night seemed to surpass the total messages I had received over the past nine months.

Struggling to move my heavy hand, I checked the notifications, realizing most of the messages were in a group chat named, ‘Who are we? The First Winners.’ Who on earth had decided on that name? It was better than ‘GetDevoured Devoured and Five Bandits’ but…

I had to read them.

I turned over, gathered the blanket into a bundle, and placed it under my chest. It was a basic posture to avoid the unexplainable phenomenon of body aches from lazing around in bed.

The group chat had been created the previous night. I had a faint memory of it. After a somewhat lackluster interview, they had returned to a Discourse chat room. Guntak had laughed so loudly it almost hurt my ears, making an impression.

Then, the after-party…they had discussed playing an online Mafia game but postponed it. When everyone logged off and they were planning a collaboration date, someone suggested using a chat app instead of Discourse…I vaguely remembered someone saying that.

My memory wasn’t just blurry; it felt in pieces. I must have really drunk a lot last night.

Part of it was the rebound from briefly abstaining because of Ark’s watchful eyes…part of it was the joy of winning the tournament…but there was another reason too.

I scrolled quickly through the flood of messages and paused when I reached near the end.

『StarPork: Should we have an in-person after-party???』

『Ark: Ahahaha, that sounds great! But will everyone be okay? Guntak is in Busan, and if we meet in Seoul, it might be too farㅠㅠㅠ』

『GungS: I’m fine with Seoul ㅎㅎㅎ I need an excuse to go to Seoulㅠㅠ I’ll make sure to finish the dishes ahead of time ㅎㅎㅎ』

『BoX: Yup, I’m good too!』

『StarPork: Great!!! If everyone else is okay, I can find a place!!』

Ah. So the talk about an in-person after-party led to the drinking. After scrolling down a bit more, I saw the message, ‘You have read up to here.’

Even after I had partially left the chat, the team was enthusiastically planning the details with high spirits.

The member listed as ‘GungS’ seemed particularly excited. After checking his profile picture, I realized it was Guntak. The joy of a married man using work as an excuse to travel was quite immense.

So.

‘BoX’ appeared to be Gorabox…and ‘SH’ seemed to be Revan.

『SH: Yes. Let’s set a date.』

This was a bit surprising. He didn’t seem like the type to be active in such gatherings.

Could it be that he had a personal interest in either Ark or StarPork? He might get along well with Ark. As for StarPork…not until Revan stopped being a rogue.

I wasn’t suspecting my disciple of abandoning my mentor to chase after a guy, but I believed in being cautious.

Letting out a light sigh, I swiftly scrolled through the remaining messages. At the end of the rapidly scrolling screen, a message from StarPork stood out.

[StarPork: Then let’s plan for next Friday! If you need to reschedule, please let me know! @Lee Yena, please tell me comfortably if you can come to the afterparty when you wake up tomorrow!! Feel free to DM me 😄]

The afterparty…

I knew I had to respond.

Surrendering my mind and body to sleep, I shut my eyes as if to escape.

.

.

.

About two hours later…

[I’m sorry but I’ll join next time.]

[I’ll come if I have time.]

[I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it. Sorry.]

How many times had I typed out responses on the screen, only to erase them all? Unlike Discourse, at least it didn’t show that I was drafting a message, which was a relief.

An afterparty. An afterparty like this felt completely different from the lessons I had with StarPork and Ark. Those were about fulfilling my role as a responsible teacher.

Yet, hadn’t I agonized and re-agitated before sending that proposal? The entire day was spent in second thoughts.

Even after I left my house, arriving an hour early and drinking beer, I had been tormented. Should I apologize and leave, even now?

The somewhat embarrassing memory of rolling a ridiculous excuse—like participating remotely—through my mouth resurfaced.

Meeting people only to socialize—was that really okay? As that thought lingered, the urge to push more alcohol down my throat arose from the pit of my stomach.

Perhaps it’s fortunate—somehow—that my body felt so incredibly heavy. I lightly closed my eyes and burrowed deeper into the blankets.

I’d broadcast to thousands, yet meeting with just five people made my writhe with discomfort—was that laughable?

But…

CravingWarmAmericano—GetDevoured was merely an anonymous existence floating around the internet. As I had appeared one day, I could disappear just as easily.

There would always be replacement broadcasters. Someone similar would take my place. Some might be curious, but as with all departed broadcasters, I’d be quickly forgotten. After all, it wasn’t like I’d connected on a personal, human-to-human level.

Human-to-human…

Suppressing a bitter rising bile, I clutched the blanket. I wanted to disappear deeper. Unfortunately, both the mattress and blanket were already cradling to their limit.

I curled up more and pulled the blanket over my head. It felt… a little better.

As Lee Yena, avoiding other people entirely wasn’t an option. I had to eat to sustain my body, and I had to maintain my house.

I also didn’t refuse any social roles necessary for Lee Yena. Thankfully, I was currently on leave from school. Otherwise, I probably would have begrudgingly attended classes somehow. As for my grades, I couldn’t guarantee anything.

Still, I didn’t want to create fresh traces that would linger into the future. Each time I used the money in my bank account, I felt guilty. Leaving such traces was by itself too burdensome.

Because it was Lee Yena’s life.

Whenever that thought arose, it naturally led to the question, “Then what am I?”

Yet, I always pushed it away.

For it was an unnecessarily deep question, too heavy to handle. It seemed unlikely to produce a practically meaningful conclusion. Just a question that would make my sink deeper into thought.

-Bzzt

A sound broke my reverie.

The phone, emitting a vibrating sound, displayed a message that said, 『(Broadcast Alert) Ark has started the broadcast!』

It couldn’t have been time already… It must have been a surprise broadcast. Surely, the excitement of winning the tournament the previous day hadn’t faded yet. Maybe Ark started early to play the replay, pause frequently, and go on a long speech about how he did so well at certain points.

Normally, Lee Yena would have been happy to log in, cheering along with the prepared ASCII art notes.

I hesitated for a moment and then closed my eyes again.

Was it because of the deja vu my exhausted body was giving me? Or was it because I was struggling to recollect the memories that had evaporated with alcohol? The memories of the past, which I had tucked away for a while, were slowly crawling back.

After waking up in the hospital and hearing that I had undergone gastric lavage due to poisoning, I had barely managed to hold onto my dizzy mind and spent six months hiding in this 3-pyeong fortress, relying on the address written on my ID card.

I had existed only on the internet during that time. It had been painful to confirm with my eyes how subtly twisted and different the world had become, so at first, I had even avoided the internet. Eventually, however, the desperation to interact with someone virtually overcame the fear.

It couldn’t have been a mere coincidence that I spent most of my waking hours watching internet broadcasts, something I hadn’t particularly enjoyed before.

And so, more than nine months had passed.

Which areas had I meddled in during that time?

KoK. I could delete the KoK ID anytime, although I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to do it.

GetDevoured, an internet broadcaster—anyone who recognized my voice? But a voice could be denied unless it came under investigation.

But StarPork and Ark…

Thinking about it, I had already become involved. Even if it was part of my job responsibilities, to a third party, wouldn’t it just seem like I was making excuses to justify myself?

It was the same as stubbornly calling her Ark even after hearing my real name, Jinhee.

I managed to drag myself out of the cozy bed and towards the soju bottle sitting on the desk. The bottle was full, with just the cap removed. Evidence of my greed to drink a little more before I fell asleep.

I poured the clear liquid into a cup and gulped it down three times.

Warmth began to circulate in my chest.

—Phew.

I let out a deep sigh and collapsed into the chair.

Yeah. I didn’t need to give a definite answer anyway.

『I’ll come if I can. Feel free to schedule it.』

It wasn’t a message that the organizer would be pleased with, as it didn’t clearly state whether I would attend or not. I just hoped StarPork wouldn’t be too upset.

After sending the message and hitting the back button, the red numbers in the stretched-out chat list were beckoning urgently. Personal messages sent to my, who had been silent in the group chat for too long.

『Ark: Yena-nim, are you coming to the afterparty?』

『Ark: It’s going to be super fun! ㅎㅎ』

『StarPork: Yena-nim, Yena-nim』

『StarPork: This unworthy disciple misses the master!!』

『StarPork: Please come to the afterparty!!』

『StarPork: Worried about revealing your face, rightㅠㅠㅠㅠ』

『StarPork: I’ll arrange a super private spot!!!』

I exited the chats without replying twice. Finally, I opened a message presumed to be from Revan and hesitated for a moment.

『SH: If you’re uncomfortable, you can decline.』

『SH: The chatroom seemed to have a very confirmed atmosphere, so I thought you might not be able to speak up』

『SH: If anything, you can just tell StarPork you can’t make it』

『SH: “Drink moderately.”』

Usually, things were different. How had he figured out I’d been drinking?

Should I ask?

『Lee Yena: “Drinking?”』

『Lee Yena: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”』

The small number next to the sent message disappeared immediately. It seemed like he was hanging around.

『SH: “No”』

『SH: “It’d be worse if you were sober…”』

『Lee Yena: “??”』

『SH: “You called me a logger while being sober.”』

『SH: “Recently, there have been people spamming photoshopped images turning me into a real logger in the community.”』

『SH: “There are probably a lot of people holding a grudge.”』

『Lee Yena: “Logger? Isn’t that a bit flattering?”』

『Lee Yena: “I didn’t even call you a filthy logger…”』

『Lee Yena: “Feels like something Ark would say.”』

『SH: “Why doesn’t Ark sue then?”』

『SH: “And also”』

『SH: “‘I tried to host Revan’s broadcast, but he ends his broadcast too early every time. Everyone, please watch Revan’s broadcast a lot.’, Wasn’t it something like that? You grumbled about it because they didn’t ask you to say one last word.”』

『SH: “Was that what you really wanted to say when you were sober?”』

Ah, that.

『Lee Yena: “Ah”』

『Lee Yena: “That was before I started drinking.”』

『Lee Yena: “I believe in repaying kindness.”』

『SH: “So, you did drink later.”』

『SH: “Anyway”』

『SH: “If I ever did you a kindness, please don’t repay it in the future.”』

『Lee Yena: “😅”』

『Lee Yena: “That’s impossible.”』

『Lee Yena: “No exceptions to principles.”』

I waited a moment for a delayed reply, then put my phone aside. The objective was achieved. Figuring out how to repay the favor could wait for another time.

Maybe focusing on something else helped. It felt like many of the thoughts that filled my head had receded.

To keep this going, drinking games were the way to go. Playing KoK… was too tiring.

Yes.

Should I start broadcasting?

I typed out a short notice and entered the broadcast title.

『Rogue Revival Movement – Rogue Maker (OST self-performance)』

When in situations like this, old-school games were the best.

TL’s Corner:
A very nice change of pace. Not much comedy on this chapter. It is a very somber chapter.
We know what the previous owner of the body did.