ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!

Meanwhile, in the dwarven small town.

Hazuki yawned loudly, digging his ear with his pinky as he walked out of the guild building.

Just earlier, he had handed over the Hidun Grass, completing the second item on the special herb quest list.

Inside, Wiwi, the dwarven receptionist, was smiling wide while stamping the paperwork.

"As usual, Mister Human,the reward fer th' special herb quest will only be handed once ye collect all the herbs in the list, ye hear?"

"Yes, yes. I know," Hazuki replied flatly.

"However," she continued, "thanks for bringin' extra Hidun Grass, here's yer reward of 3 gold coins." She slid a pouch across the counter.

"Okay, thanks." Hazuki grabbed it casually.

"Now le's me see those muscles on yer chest~!" Wiwi's eyes sparkled, already leaning over the counter with twitching fingers.

Hazuki gave her a long, tired squint, turned silently, and walked out.

Once outside.

Ridan immediately floated into view.

"So? We going to get the next one now?" the spirit said with a huge grin. "Fire Grun Herb, let's gooo~!"

Hazuki exhaled sharply. "Ugh... at least let me rest first."

"Huh!? You just slept the whole way here in Old Man Girem's wagon!"

"Yeah, but…"

"Nope! We're going now! If you don't move your lazy butt, I'll keep talking. All. Night. Even while you sleep."

"You're worse…"

"Thank you~!" Ridan beamed proudly, spinning in midair.

Hazuki narrowed his eyes at the floating spirit beside him.

"Why do you wanna go there in such a rush, huh?"

Ridan spun lazily in the air, arms folded behind his back.

"Hey, come on! I'm not the one who picked up that special herb quest in secret," he smirked.

Hazuki sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Fine... but seriously, why are you so eager?"

Ridan turned mid-air with a wide grin.

"Huh? Staying in town is boring!"

"Walking is better, right? You get to sightsee! Meet people! Maybe find something good when sightseeing."

Hazuki stopped walking.

"...You just don't want me to sleep again, do you?"

"Nope!" Ridan grin.

Hazuki sighed again.

"Ugh… fine. Let me buy something. Like liquor, dried fruit, or something."

"Huh? You don't need that," Ridan floated beside him, arms crossed smugly. "We can just hunt. You did get to eat that delicious fruit, remember?"

"Ah~ yeah… that glowing fruit…" Hazuki's eyes drifted off dreamily. "Man, that was really tasty. What was the name of that fruit again, Ridan?"

"You don't need to know," Ridan replied instantly, his tone flat.

"Oh… okay," Hazuki nodded, wiping the corner of his mouth as he walked. "Well… I hope I can taste it again someday."

Ridan watched him silently for a moment.

Inside his mind…

Heh… not gonna lie, Hazuki… I don't even know when—or if—that tree'll ever show up again. That wasn't a natural tree. It didn't grow there.

More like… someone opened a portal for it.

You damn lucky human...

"Ridan?"

"Huh?"

"I'm going to book an inn."

"Nooo!! Move it now!!" Ridan shouted, zipping around him in a panic.

Hazuki groaned, his shoulders slumping again as he trudged along the road.

"Yeah, yeah... Let me at least buy some liquor. It's not like monsters drop sake."

"Heh~ all you ever do is drink and get drunk, Hazuki," Ridan said, floating backward with arms behind his head.

"Yeah... not gonna lie," Hazuki smirked. "But me, as a Japanese? It's like drinking is in my blood. Like a stamp. A mark of culture."

"Yea yea…" Ridan spun mid-air. "Stop ramblin' and go buy your bottle already. And then find that old Girem again."

"Him again?"

"What? It's not like any other dwarf coach is crazy enough to bring you to those dangerous places. Besides—he's the only one whose wagon you've gotten comfy in."

Hazuki scratched his head.

"He's got a life too, Ridan. We keep asking him for rides, when's he supposed to spend time with his family or—"

"BLA BLA BLA!" Ridan yelled, flailing in the air. "Just go buy your damn drink and start walking if you don't wanna ask him!"

Hazuki stared at him flatly.

"...You really hate staying still, huh?"

"Why do I need to stay still?" Ridan grumbled, floating around Hazuki's head. "You do know I'm stuck in that cheap 10-silver sword of yours, right? I'm not gonna waste my time listening to you snore while mumbling in your sleep like a creepy old man…"

He mimicked Hazuki dreamy voice.

"Ah~ Ellyn… Ellyn~"

Then plopped himself right on top of Hazuki's head like a smug purple bird nest.

"Hey! Don't bring her into this!"

"What? It's true, Lolizuki," Ridan grinned down from his perch.

"Oi!! It's the adult one I love, okay!?"

"Heh~ same," Ridan cackled and floated off. "Now move your ass!!"

"Ugh… naggy damn spirit…" Hazuki muttered, adjusting his side bag and trudging toward the liquor vendor.

When Hazuki arrived at the liquor store, he spotted a familiar, stubby figure at the counter.

Old man Girem was already clutching three bottles of the strongest liquor available, grinning.

"Oh—old man!" Hazuki waved.

Girem turned, one brow raised. "What now, lad?"

"Next destination… You know the place for Fire Grun Herb, right?"

"Aye. I know it."

"I need to get there." Hazuki said bluntly.

Girem's grin stretched wider. He slowly extended his palm.

"This time... 50 silver coin."

"O-OI!! That's way too much! The other two runs you took me on were 20 silver each!"

"Yeah!!" Girem puffed up. "Because those two weren't that far, and weren't in flaming territory. But this one? Dangerous! Blazin' place. Monsters that don't flinch. Burnin' trees. Steamin' rocks."

He shrugged and turned.

"Well, if ye don't want, feel free to ask the others." Girem smirked again, clearly knowing no other dwarf would dare take that route.

"Ugh…" Hazuki gritted his teeth, then slapped a pouch of coins into the old dwarf's hand.

"Here. 50 silver. Happy now?"

"Oho~ now we're talkin', lad!" Girem laughed, stashing the pouch inside his belt.

"A'right, I'm headin' to ma house first—to send this coin to ma lovely wife." He winked.

"You know where the wagon is parked. And don't forget—buy food and drink for us, eh? Journey's long and yer stomach louder than a goblin's war cry!"

"Yes, yes..." Hazuki waved him off, then paused. "Huh… speaking of family, old man—your wife not mad?"

"Mad of what?" Girem raised an eyebrow while securing the liquor bottles in his sack.

"I mean… you keep bringin' me to these dangerous places. Ain't she mad that you're always out long and rarely home?"

"Nah, lad!" Girem grinned proudly. "Our kids already adults! Married off, moved out, got their own mess to deal with. And I did tell ye, didn't I? I'm over 200 years old!"

"Oh… right. That's true." Hazuki scratched his cheek.

"Aye! Still got plenty o' kick left in me bones." Girem slapped his thigh, laughed, and turned toward the path.

"Alright, lad! I'm headin' first!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"And don't forget—buy some bread and roast meat for the trip, eh?"

"Okay, okay…" Hazuki waved. "Just don't forget to ready those cigars."

"Already packed 'em!" Girem shouted back without turning, waving one stubby hand as he disappeared into the side street.

Hazuki looked ahead—only to see Ridan already floating inside the store, lounging like a lazy kitten.

More precisely, lounging on the lady store owner's chest.

Hazuki just shrugged, not even surprised anymore.

Inside his mind…

This damn pervert spirit ball... just because he's invisible to everyone else, he's been abusing this "ghost privilege" like it's a buffet ticket.

The shopkeeper, a cheerful woman in her late thirties, smiled warmly.

"Ah~ Mister Customer, welcome! What do you need today?"

Hazuki glanced at the shelves behind her. "Give me two bottles of liquor."

"Oh~! Going for a trip, perhaps? You need strong one?"

Hazuki nodded casually.

"Well… strong's good too. Sure, why not."

Behind her, Ridan was rubbing his ghost cheeks against her chest like a smug cat enjoying a warm blanket.

Hazuki muttered, just low enough not to be heard,

"...And this idiot said he was an ancient spirit. More like ancient pervert."

Somewhere in a scorching wasteland, the air shimmered with intense heat.

Ellyn, still in her royal child dress, panted as she landed lightly on her feet, dust kicking up around her.

Her Absolute Eyes glowed faintly as she narrowly dodged a claw swipe from a blazing beast.

She jumped back and fired a small volley of ice ball spells, each one landing with sizzling bursts as they struck the fiery monster. Steam hissed up around her as she narrowed her eyes.

With a flick of both wrists, she summoned her dual ice swords, one in each hand.

She vanished in a blink—then reappeared behind the monster after a slash, her blades dripping with boiling blood.

"Haa... haa... it's... too hot..." she murmured, sweat trickling down her cheek. Her tiny form wobbled slightly from exhaustion.

"Where... is this place...?"

Inside the enchanted necklace, a familiar voice echoed in her mind.

Syaria, the gentle spirit bound to her gem, spoke with concern.

"Princess, you should activate a buff to resist this heat. Your body isn't conditioned for this temperature."

"Mm… I know..." Ellyn replied quietly, resting a hand over the necklace. "But... my mana... it has limits…"

She glanced around the scorched terrain, the rocks glowing faintly red from heat. The wind here carried the scent of ash and molten stone.

"I need to get out from this area... before I overheat..." she muttered, teeth gritting as another monster's growl echoed in the distance.

( End Of Chapter )