Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 4



Pretending not to know each other, we hastily gobbled down our food and entered the entrance ceremony hall.

The entrance ceremony hall was already filled with numerous people even before it started.

Not everyone had black hair; there were colorful hair colors all around.

In this aspect, it really resembled a novel.

Another noticeable feature was that the number of women was quite high.

In a way, that’s only natural.

Thanks to the incompetent upper management, many innocent people paid the price, and in the process, more men sacrificed themselves than women.

Due to the nature of the military, they were more eager to draft men rather than women.

The drastic measure taken in response to the population cliff was none other than the Multi-Partner Policy.

Originally, it was Polygyny, but what era are we living in now?

It’s the era of PC.

After suggesting Polygyny and getting slammed for gender discrimination, they switched to the Multi-Partner Policy as the current policy.

Of course, even with the Multi-Partner Policy, there’s not much difference.

No, it’s even more brutal.

After all, who would want to be the first wife of a jerk?

“I’m! This is my legitimate wife!”

“Wow, I envy you. Go for it.”

Honestly, it would be better to be the 100th wife of a celebrity.

Besides, getting involved with a woman requires having some connection with someone.

In my case, it was a situation where I replaced high school with training.

In other words, aside from Hifumi waiting in the cellphone lobby, there were no women to meet.

Except in the training center besides the beginning of the year.

Why only at the beginning of the year?

Because signing up for the gym in the new year is a national rule.

If you don’t believe it, just check out a gym at the beginning of the year.

Not right now, of course.

Of course, there were a few attractive people I met in the training center.

They were the kind of people who showed up regularly, greeted me warmly, and treated me kindly.

Every time I saw them, they would acknowledge me and subtly touch my body while working out to appeal to me.

I closed my eyes for a moment and thought of them.

And I muttered dejectedly due to one trivial problem.

“Why are they all muscle-obsessed old men instead of women?”

I had been going to the training center all the time, so I was just an NPC.

Then somehow, I ended up getting forced PT from the old men every time I exercised.

When doing pull-ups, they would lift my knees while shouting, “One more! One more!”

By the time I came to my senses, I was already being coached on my diet.

The trouble began when I awkwardly held the bench press position.

Who would have thought I’d get schooled by veterans?

Of course, it was nice that they helped even though they didn’t know my name.

How terrifying is this world?

Even at night, if someone asks for help, people just walk past, and helping someone you don’t know can be dangerous.

But…

Why are the old men lurking around the hamburger joint?

You crossed the line by taking fries out of my mouth!

They were seasoned fries, dammit.

Today, the taste of those seasoned fries lingers in my mouth.

*

Surprisingly, the entrance ceremony ended in just 5 minutes.

There were no introductions, songs, or anything about the academy’s history.

Someone simply came and said, “Good luck,” and that was it.

Of course, this is the South Korean academy.

A lengthy entrance ceremony for a people that spam the elevator close button?

They would all run away.

As soon as the entrance ceremony ended, I received my identity card in the form of a necklace to prove I was an academy student and moved according to the guidance.

It was to choose the dormitory.

According to the guide, the dormitory was basically one person per room.

Even if you brought extra belongings, it was no problem, and if you had money, remodeling was possible.

The guide also explained some minor rules.

Depending on the rank, better dormitories were provided.

Higher ranks could even take dorms from lower ranks.

If you wanted to share a dorm with the same rank, you decided the winner through a match.

Lastly, this was only possible during this time.

Dormitory competitions usually chose to settle things through fights.

Nothing can be as straightforward as a fistfight.

Other options included coin tossing, paper flipping, or dueling.

Among these, dueling was the most dangerous.

While everyone else is twisting their bodies to fight, this guy brings a card?

This guy is the real deal.

Once the dormitory is decided, there can be no changes for a whole semester.

Because of that, students who stake their lives for their living spaces go wild during this period.

…..

Is this…an academy?

No matter how I look at it, it’s a kingdom of beasts.

Of course, I didn’t have any particular thoughts, so I waited around and chose from the remaining options.

*

I set foot in the dormitory where I would stay for at least a semester.

The first impression was a fully furnished officetel.

There were no ranks, so I automatically received a low-tier score upon entry.

Still, I’m thankful they didn’t cram us into one room like a logistics center.

If I’m not satisfied with this, I have two choices.

I could raise my rank.

Or beat someone to take theirs.

As expected, it’s an academy for a PVP-loving people.

Who are Koreans?

They are a race that manages to turn a bonsai game into a bonsai game.

Even in a cactus-growing game, someone will certainly pump in excessive nutrients.

– “Is this supposed to take 30 days? Well, I’ll finish in 3!”

– “I bought everything without knowing what was a good deal.”

– “Why are you risking your life when there’s no difference in rewards by rank? The card color will change!”

But there’s competition?

Alright, I’m in. Just wait.

If you want to refute this, let’s talk in 10,000 and earn the right to speak.

From 10,001st and below are just sidekicks, so you guys can sit there.

I unpacked my stuff sufficiently and prepared to head out again.

*

The first week is the dorm adjustment period.

In simple terms, it’s a period of doing nothing with no classes.

Of course, there’s a reason for this.

For after this, the only way to get out before the end of the semester is by being expelled or suicide.

……

Haven’t you heard a similar story somewhere?

That’s right, damn it.

It’s like a military training camp.

I didn’t know anyone nor was there anyone I particularly wanted to see.

So as soon as I left the dormitory, I headed to the library.

I could have worked out at the training center, but I didn’t want to be in a sweaty, dank space during my last moments of freedom.

As I walked for a while, I had a realization.

These damn efficiency-obsessed idiots made this.

Damn it.

Why do all the buildings look the same?

Is it effective for comfort relative to load?

After checking the fifth building and confirming the sixth one, of course, it wasn’t the library either.

Moreover, the building names were written so small that you could only read them up close.

So what does this mean?

It means to figure it out one by one if you don’t know anything.

This is truly a fucking hell of an academy.

After eight attempts, I finally found the library.

The exterior looked no different from the other buildings, but inside, it had structures made of old wood, like ancient libraries.

What was surprising was that they provided paper books and e-books in completely different ways.

Paper books were loaned by the librarian.

E-books were connected via cable to your personal electronic device.

Fortunately, the connection port was USB-C.

Not adhering to specific reader standards was the academy’s only conscience.

Being someone who preferred paper books, I approached the librarian to borrow some.

The librarian in sight was the epitome of a typical literary girl.

Isn’t there a saying that a good-looking cake is good to eat?

I approached her with the hope that she would lend me books easily because of her typical literary girl appearance.

“Hello! I just enrolled today, can I borrow some books?”

“Oh, you’re a new student! Nice to meet you. Yes, you can start today. What books do you want?”

“I’d like to borrow a few books about ability awakening.”

“Oh, just a moment. I’ll get some for you.”

She left for a moment and came back shortly.

In her arms were three books.

– “There Are No Bad Abilities in the World.”

– “I’ll Hog All the Abilities.”

– “Three Wonderful Words: Special Ability, Awakening, Blooming.”

……

All of them felt unsettling.

But worrying wouldn’t help, so I decided to borrow the books quietly.

“The lending period is one week from today, and if you want to extend it, please come back within a week.”

“Is it possible to apply for an extension multiple times?”

“Only once. To borrow again, you have to complete the return process fully.”

“Got it.”

As I was about to leave the library, I suddenly thought if there were any novels worth reading and spoke up again.

“Do you have any novel recommendations?”

“Do you have a preference?”

“I don’t mind the genre, but I’d prefer it to be complete if possible.”

Suddenly, the librarian became even more enthusiastic while approaching me.

Perhaps since I stepped into her realm of interest, she seemed eager to share a common hobby.

“In that case, let me recommend a recently completed masterpiece!”

“If it was recently completed, it must have been serialized for a long time?”

“No, it was on hiatus a lot, but miraculously wrapped up with the last 334th episode! It’s the best!”

With all those hiatuses, yet to receive such high praise?

It’s definitely worth a read.

At least, it’s not a dumpster fire.

“From the way you’re speaking, it must be quite an engaging novel.”

“It’s truly the best masterpiece! Lion Soul is the king!”

With that, the librarian left to get the book.

As I watched her, I was filled with anticipation for what kind of masterpiece it might be, but suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over me.

Wait a second.

Is it BL?

Please don’t let it be BL!

That would be justifiable self-defense.

I was contemplating how to kill myself in the worst-case scenario.

Despite my worries, the librarian brought back what looked like a perfectly normal novel.

But I still didn’t know.

There could always be crazy works that engage in drift.

“Is there a chance it has any BL drifts in it?”

“No! Drifting is a sin. NTR is punishable by death.”

Oh thank you….

Now, if I just know the book title, I’ll be good.

“Can I see what the book is?”

“Sure! Here it is! ‘If You Regress 30 Times, It’s Bullshit.'”

As soon as I saw the title, it clicked in my mind.

It was the highest trending novel that had started since the early days.

Despite frequent hiatuses, I could never forget the thrill of reading it for the first time.

So this was its conclusion.

I can accept that!

At that moment, I remembered a taboo phrase for those who liked that book.

In my mind, I was trying to suppress myself, thinking, “Please stop, you crazy bastard!”

However, who am I?

I’m the kind of person whose mouth moves before filtering.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out something shocking.

“Er, but isn’t this plagiarized from the One-Sided Observer’s perspective?”

It felt as if time had momentarily stopped.

And in my line of sight, I could see the librarian already transformed.

She was somehow holding a gigantic dictionary aloft.

It was so large, thick, heavy, and crude that it was practically a paper-made iron block.

This was, indeed, a deadly weapon!

“Such a profane being!!!!”

“Wha…?…”

In the instant the towering book prepared to descend towards the ground, mere moments passed.

However, even that tiny moment was enough to shatter something.

That something was…

My head.

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That sound was louder than anything else I had ever heard in my life.

No, it wasn’t just a difference in hearing.

It was a message, powerfully conveyed through my ears and bones.

It said to kill me.

The overwhelming crash resounded majestically through the library, drawing everyone’s attention.

As everyone stood in stunned silence, unable to comprehend the scene, only the sound of paper fluttering around could be heard.

And amidst all that, I uttered my last words.

“Pirate novel?”

“Die!!!”

The enormous weapon slammed down onto my head once more, creating a small reverberation.

With that, I collapsed from my spot, and my vision began to fade slowly.

But the librarian, as if this wasn’t the end, once again readied her weapon of a book above her head.

“There’s still, one shot left.”

That was the last thing I heard.

Lord, I’m coming soon.



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