Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

“Today, I’m going to record our sparring.”

“Why are we suddenly doing a recording?”

As usual, the old man had his hair all messed up and hadn’t shaved.

The worn-out tracksuit he was wearing felt strangely endearing after seeing it so many times.

“This time, I’ll use one of my abilities, and if you manage to hit me even once, I’ll call that a success.”

“No, f*ck, you mean you’re going to win with your abilities now? Isn’t that a bit much? How am I supposed to hit you?”

“Shut up and get in.”

“……”

However, unlike usual, the old man’s voice was very serious.

He was observing me with a lazy expression but sharp eyes, a rather unbalanced combination.

“The ability I’m going to use is telekinesis.”

His tone and manner of speaking hadn’t changed, but the atmosphere felt incredibly different.

It felt sharp and chilling, as if I might get sliced by a blade any second.

The old man flipped over the weapon storage in the sparring ground.

Clatter. Various weapons spilled onto the sparring ground floor.

While rummaging through the pile, the old man spoke.

“My ability has a lot of conditions, but the effect is definite. Listen well.

Two straight lines, each 4cm long and spaced 1.3cm apart, will be under my control.”

He picked up a longsword, checked the blade, and casually tossed it aside.

“I can manipulate any object that meets those conditions as far as my calculations allow. The speed and power during this time are the same as if I were handling the object myself, so be careful.”

Before I knew it, the number of chosen swords had exceeded four.

But the old man kept rummaging through the pile.

“I’ll tell you the features too. Objects that leave my control won’t drop to the ground. They remain fixed in place.

Lastly, my manipulation range is 10 meters around me. Don’t even think about creating distance.”

As soon as he selected a total of eight swords, the old man stopped explaining.

His demeanor was completely different from usual.

These were truly weapons made to kill.
He was planning to use this ability against me right now.

The old man began drawing two clear lines with a magic marker on the lower side of the sword blade.

Before long, he finished drawing lines on the last sword.

Then, the eight swords slowly floated into the air.

Before I knew it, the tips of the eight blades surrounded me, pointed at me.

At the same time, the old man grabbed another longsword.

When everything was ready, the old man finally activated the sparring ground system.

“Let’s get started.”

As soon as he finished speaking, the eight swords lunged at me simultaneously to pierce my body.

Having anticipated the attack to some extent, I already rolled my body forward.

It might not mean anything, but feeling unjust, I made a slight complaint to the old man.

“Can you give me a moment to grab a weapon?”

“How many fuckers are going to wait for you in real combat?”

Ducking to evade the flying swords, I quickly grabbed a longsword with my right hand.
Then, as I stood up again, I grabbed a mace with my left hand.

There was no point in trying to create distance; I’d only get suppressed.

I quickly launched my body forward.

As soon as I reached in front of the old man, I stepped forward and attempted to stab him in the abdomen with my longsword.

Clang!

Before I knew it, one of the incoming blades had blocked my thrust.

I bent my right arm to strike the blade that had blocked my path with my elbow.

Without killing the inertia from the strike, I pivoted around my right foot and swung the mace with my left hand.

Crash!

Sure enough, another sword came flying to block my attack.

Compared to when I tried to stab with the longsword, this sound was much louder, and sparks flew.

But it was still far from a hit.

I gave up on any further approach.
With the swords floating in the air surrounding the old man, I had no way to attack.

Instead, I stepped back and struck the bottom of the sword that was blocking my path with my longsword.

The target was the magic-marked line.

Clang! As the swords clashed, the distance between the old man and me returned to normal.

“Yeah. It’s not bad that you’re trying to guard against and negate my ability.”

“How the hell am I supposed to break through?”

“If you can’t break through, you die.”

Six swords rushed towards me.
But this time, they weren’t simple thrusts.

Some were slashing, others were stabbing.
Each sword came at me randomly as if it had its own will.

And they came one after the other.

I launched my body to the right, deflecting two swords coming in for a slash, and I attempted to dash forward.

No.
I was about to dash.

Out of my line of sight, one sword suddenly lunged vertically, halting my movements.

The sword that flew in pierced my right forearm.

Pierce!

“F*ck, that hurts like hell!”

“Deflecting is good, but that sword you attacked with is still under my control.”

“No way, f*ck, this is seriously cheating!”

The sword that pierced my forearm quickly pulled out.
It now hovered in front of the old man, poised and ready.

Taking a deep breath, I assessed the current situation.

My left hand was still fine.
The wound from my right hand was more severe than I expected.

I could grip a sword, but my strength wouldn’t be what it usually was.

Shaking, I gripped the sword tightly with my trembling right arm.
Blood began to flow from the punctured forearm.

Before I knew it, my forearm below the elbow was soaked with blood.

“I told you to think carefully and dodge.”

“Stop talking nonsense.”

I gripped the sword tightly, which was slipping from the blood on my right hand.
This time, I leaned my body to the left.

As I did, six swords moved to block my path.
Two aimed for my left ankle, trying to restrict my movement.

The others aimed for my neck, right shoulder, left thigh, and abdomen.

I stepped quickly with half a beat.
I felt a strong pressure on my left ankle.

Immediately, I twisted and hurled my body to the right.

Slash.
Whoosh.
Clang.

My left calf was lightly sliced.

It was a keen attack timed just as I switched direction from left to right.
But this much was okay.

It didn’t affect my movement.

The remaining swords barely sliced through the air or got stuck deep in the ground.
This time, I planted my right foot and propelled my body to the left.

I braced against the inertia pushing me back and quickly approached the old man.

“That was not bad.”

“Then take a hit for me, just this once!”

Without losing speed, I took a step forward.
At the same time, I swung my sword with all my might.

Bang!!!!!!!!

With a loud explosive sound, sparks flew everywhere.
Maybe because I was moving faster than before, the old man probably judged it to be dangerous.

This time, four swords flew in to block my attack.
As if that wasn’t enough, the sword the old man was gripping joined in.

“This bastard is really freakishly strong.”

With a swing that seemed more like a mace than a sword, I felt the impact.
But still, I hadn’t landed any solid hits.

I didn’t stop. I pulled my right foot back and jumped off the overlapping swords.
As I thrust the mace downward with my left hand.

Scratch.

Two unbent swords that hadn’t yet hit the ground flew in to cleanly slice through my left arm below the shoulder.

“Ugh.”

“I told you, if you can’t break through, you die.”

“This f*cking difficulty is insane.”

Suppressing the rising scream, I swung the remaining part of my arm.
Despite my arm being gone, it felt like I still had one.

Blood erupted from the severed stump.

Splash!!

“F*ck?”

The old man seemed momentarily taken aback.
It was the perfect opportunity.

I rolled forward in mid-air and seized his back.
Then, I straight stabbed at his spine with my sword.

Thud.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

The sword lightly embedded itself in the old man’s back.
Although I intended to stab deep, there were two problems making that difficult.

One was my right hand, which had already sustained injuries; it didn’t have any power behind it.
The other was the six swords I had anticipated and let fly, striking my sword blade.

Nonetheless, it was embedded deep enough to stay there.
That was enough.

Feeling the sword tip touch the bone, I refocused.
I had succeeded since I had stabbed, but I had received too much damage, and I was pissed.

As I took a slight step back, the old man spoke in a slightly surprised tone.
“You stabbed me? Congratulations. You pass.”

“F*ck off!!!!”

“That’s not allowed.”

At his words, the eight swords relentlessly began to stab at me.
However, the adrenaline pouring from me made me briefly forget the pain.

A moment’s grace.
That was sufficient.

I quickly planted my right foot.
With that, I spun my body while trying to kick backward with my left foot.

The target was the pommel of the longsword.

Whoosh!!!!!!!!

The sword embedded slightly in the old man’s back was suddenly pushed by my strength.
Like a hammer driving a nail, my sword pierced through his body in an instant.

“I got you, you f*cking bastard.”

In that moment, a sudden dizziness struck me.
Was it due to excessive blood loss?

Or was my body losing tension?
Either way, I couldn’t hold on anymore.

Unlike the old man, who stood well, I began to slowly fall and quickly lost consciousness.
Just before passing out, I thought I heard the old man’s voice.

“What a tough kid. But seriously, are you gonna stab me?”

As the sparring ground system shut down, an unexpected silence fell over the area.
In the stillness, the sound declaring the recording was finished echoed out hollowly.

*

“What do you think? How does it look to you?”

“It’s Ryu Kang-hyuk.”

“That’s right. But he’s only using a fraction of his limit—barely a quarter’s worth of weapon count—and he only used one ability.”

“Still, that speed and power are definitely Ryu Kang-hyuk’s limits.”

As the video ended, Chairman Jang In-hyuk interlaced his fingers and rested his chin on them.

“Want to take a closer look at the last part?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Not the kicks, but the hands.”

The secretary rewound the video and started playing it slowly.
As he watched, Chairman Jang In-hyuk spoke quietly, intrigued.

“He’s erasing the trace left by blood on his right hand.”

“What does that mean…? Ah.”

“I’m glad you understand quickly. That’s why I’ve kept you as my secretary.”

As the chairman’s hands grew restless, he quickly grabbed a cheap snack and stuffed it into his mouth.

“In case of an unsuccessful attack, he probably intended to erase the markings on the sword and use it as is.”

“I don’t think that was planned. It seems more instinctual.”

“Regardless of that, just by watching, I can already see the potential.”

“With that level of movement and reflexes, he should at least be Gold rank.”

At that, Chairman Jang In-hyuk burst into loud laughter.
“The one who put a beating on Ryu Kang-hyuk is a new student I enrolled.”

“……What?”

The secretary, previously maintaining composure, finally displayed surprise.
Seeing that, Chairman Jang In-hyuk smiled with satisfaction.

“Moreover, he’s an incompetent who hasn’t even awakened a simple ability.”

“Is someone like that capable of landing a hit on Ryu Kang-hyuk?”

“If it were impossible, we wouldn’t have this footage, and I wouldn’t have decided to enroll him.”

At last, the secretary appeared to have understood.
“…So, that’s why you enrolled that student.”

“Haha. And isn’t it curious?”

Chairman Jang In-hyuk gazed out the window, a reminiscent look crossing his face.
Was it nostalgia for the past? Or perhaps reflection on an old grudge suddenly resurfacing?
Only Chairman Jang would know.

“What if that level of incompetent manages to awaken an ability?”

“With all due respect, studies have statistically shown that awakenings occur only before the age of 20.”

“True, as you say. But isn’t there always a chance?”

“That seems unlikely.”

Chairman Jang cut off the secretary’s words by standing up.
Then he began slowly walking to the door.

“Just a little hope from an old man, that’s all.”

“… ”

“Besides, the main character of this sparring is that student.”

“Are you talking about that outrageous match that exploited the loophole in the rules?”

The secretary shot him a sharp look, unusually expressive.
As Chairman Jang reached for the door, he turned and smiled.

“You, were you in on it?”

“……”

“Thanks to you, I’ve made some money. The other old farts must be bleeding tears. Hahaha.”

Chairman Jang exited, but the secretary remained frozen in place for a long while.
Whether he was stunned or saddened by the manipulations of the betting system, only the secretary would know.

*

“Shinwoo, do you seriously remember nothing?”

“Since I came here, I don’t recall a thing. I’ve forgotten everything. This is bad.”

“I’ll take care of you for life; don’t let it get to dementia.”

“…Hyeji? Why’s the topic getting heavy all of a sudden? I’m still in my 20s.”

In the end, I didn’t reveal to Hyeji that I hadn’t taken the exams.
It’s not that I don’t trust her.
I just thought I should be cautious since I don’t know how gossip spreads.

“I wish there was at least one person I could trust among these f*ckers.”

I tried studying once again with the remaining time.
It was evident these theories couldn’t be absorbed in such a short time.

“With theories jammed like this in my head, it’s no wonder there aren’t any normal hunters.”

Of course, the only hunter I met was old man Kang-hyuk, and he wasn’t exactly normal.
Only recently could I hit him a little.
Before that, he was a lunatic who would happily beat me up while laughing.

Even though I found the old man annoying, I am grateful to him.
Soon, Mamma Dispencer will come to show off her magnificent naked body.

Why?
Because my intuition tells me so.

I said I had a sure bet to Hyeji before, but it feels like Season 2 of the Sparring Ground’s opposite betting story.

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