Is That My Alter Ego

17 – Unease

“hehehe… it seems almost complete…”

Sitting in the empty lobby of the mercenary base, Seris let out a sinister laugh.

‘If everything goes as this book says, it’s all going smoothly!’

A few days ago, following the instructions from the mysterious old man’s book, I diligently studied the art of ‘playing hard to get.’

The book clearly stated that it’s not just about giving blind love but rather pushing away to confuse the other person, then pulling them back to gain even greater favor!

And when I followed that process exactly, my commander seemed genuinely puzzled.

Pushing away my commander hurts, it stings, but…

Even this pain, I’ll endure for the glory of the future!

“By the way, Commander. When will you come…”

Recently, due to the explosive growth of the Scar Mercenaries, it was much more common for everyone to operate independently on missions rather than moving together.

Commander Venice and members of the mercenary group like Hans went on a quest to explore the mysterious dungeon this time.

Seris had completed the request to exterminate level-four sub-ranking monsters in just one day and was waiting for the commander to return.

“All this growth I’ve experienced… it’s all thanks to the commander…”

If the commander hadn’t come to lead the Scar Mercenaries… If another incompetent person had become the commander instead…

I would have slaughtered everyone and ended my own life. The current glory and sense of growth would have been unimaginable.

“No.”

If I hadn’t met the commander… If the commander had left…

As dark thoughts and meaningless fantasies suddenly emerged, Seris writhed in despair welling up from deep within.

“That won’t happen. No way.”

Such a thing won’t be allowed to happen. No matter what… I’ll protect the commander.

The rosy future with the commander that awaits… Thinking about it every day, it never gets old, but rather, it feels like I’m becoming addicted to it.

“hehehe..”

And so, Seris, unaware of the passing time, was gradually consumed by happiness within her fantasy.

Tap, tap, tap-!

When I was immersed in a happiness that seemed to melt my brain, I suddenly heard footsteps coming from the direction of the infirmary.

It was a distance that an ordinary person wouldn’t even notice, but it clearly reached Ceris. After all, she had been getting stronger every day and feeling like she was becoming something beyond human.

“Is it the captain?”

As I listened carefully, it didn’t sound like the captain. The captain’s footsteps were more solid… emanating a sense of dignity.

It must be one of the mercenaries, not the captain.

Ceris was secretly disappointed, but since someone had come, she left the lobby to go and meet them.

Tadadak-!

“Gasp… gasp….”

“…Hans?”

“Vice Captain Ceris…! Gasp… huff…”

As I went to meet him in a hurry, I saw Hans, who looked like he could collapse any moment, gasping for breath and pouring sweat.

Hans had clearly gone on a mysterious dungeon request with the captain. But why was Hans in such a hurry…

“What’s going on, Hans?”

Ceris asked, trying to ignore the rising anxiety that was starting to show, as she looked at Hans.

“Gasp… huff…. The… the captain…!”

Please. Please tell me it’s just my useless imagination. Please tell me it was nothing.

“The captain has been seriously injured…! Hurry to the infirmary…!”

“…Ah.”

Why is it that my unhappy premonitions have never been wrong? The words that Ceris had desperately hoped wouldn’t come out of his mouth resounded in her ears.

I must have heard it correctly. A body transcended human limits can accurately perceive sound and replay it several times in less than a second.

Tadadadadak-!

As soon as Seris was certain the information she heard was true, she started sprinting towards the infirmary.

She ran as fast as she could, squeezing out every bit of strength she had, faster than anyone else.

Chaeaeaeak-!

-Whoa! What was that..!

-What just happened..?

-Did I see something wrong…?

To the untrained eyes of the ordinary villagers, she sped away at a speed invisible to them.

Channeling the overflowing mana into her feet and legs, she pushed beyond even her own limits.

With a talent bestowed by the gods and relentless effort, she managed to cover the several kilometers from the mercenary headquarters to the infirmary in less than a minute, a feat of incredible prowess.

Thud- Creeak…

“Vice-captain Skar of the mercenary group…?”

As she opened the door and entered, a familiar healer greeted Seris. It was the same healer who had saved Captain Benis during the Nephendes incident.

“Huff…Haa… Where is the captain?!”

“Come this way.”

As Seris asked, enduring the pain that wracked her lungs, the healer, with a stern face, led her quickly.

“Please… please be safe… please…”

“……”

Seris prayed desperately to the world, to their fate, begging to see the captain safe and sound.

Begging that the last ray of light that had come to her would not be stolen away.

“He is in here.”

“Please… Please…”

Creeeak-

Seris continued to pray, even as she opened the door following the therapist’s guidance.

Hoping to face my leader, as always, the one who steadfastly supports me, and to meet his gaze.

“Leader… This isn’t happening…!”

“Please open your eyes… Please…”

“Kuhuk… Damn it… Damn it..!!”

As soon as she entered the hospital room, the wails and sobs of the mercenaries echoed in Seris’s brain.

“………..”

Thud. Thud.

No, it can’t be. It just can’t be. This shouldn’t be happening…

In that bed, the leader should be welcoming her as always… with a warm expression.

Ignoring the reality before her eyes, Seris walked towards the bed surrounded by the mercenaries.

“…..Ah.”

Thump.

As she approached the bed and saw the state of Leader Venice, Seris’s legs gave way, and she collapsed right there.

His complexion was beyond pale, verging on purple, and his body was wrapped in bandages that had turned red from desperately holding back surging blood.

Anyone seeing him would think he was a person on the verge of death.

“Director… Sir…”

Even as I reached out with trembling hands towards the Director, the warm hand that always met mine was nowhere to be found.

The warmth that had never faltered in that expressionless face was nowhere to be seen.

All I could feel in the Director’s expression now was the agony of someone experiencing the brink of life and death.

“Kuh… Boss… Director…”

“………..”

Ceris looked at Birong, who was sobbing beside him, with eyes filled only with sunken tears.

“The place we were heading to… was a trap dungeon. Suddenly, arrows came flying… and instead of me, the Director…”

“It seems like he was hit by an arrow tainted with Vulture Spider venom. We did everything we could to treat him… but after that, it was up to the patient…”

The healer continued speaking with a gloomy expression.

Vulture Spider. A 4-star demon, a monster with a potent poison.

If even a minuscule amount of that poison is exposed, an ordinary person can be on the verge of death within seconds. There have been many cases of mercenaries who had their lives claimed by this poison.

Even veterans who exterminate demons stronger than 4 stars could die from just a few drops of that poison.

To think that he was hit by such poison, and even worse, that it was embedded in the arrow and stuck in his body.

Thump-

“You… you!”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…!”

Ceris couldn’t hold back the rising anger and grabbed Birong by the collar.

If it wasn’t for you. If you had just been a little more careful. The Director… wouldn’t have ended up like this…!

“I’m… sorry.”

“I’m sorry… Captain… Captain…”

However, she soon let go. This action was merely an expression of meaningless anger, and it was the captain’s choice.

The action she was about to take would have been a disrespectful act, even ignoring the captain’s choice. So, Ceris once again hesitated in her place, shedding tears.

“I apologize. For conveying such words… Perhaps… you need to prepare your heart.”

“…….Uwaaa-!”

How could this happen? The times I struggled, lived in agony, dragged through the darkness…

After all the pain, is it possible that the only ray of light in my life, the last light of life, is taken away so easily?

Finally, finding a goal for myself, not just my father’s request, and giving my best for it…

Is even that displeasing to you?

“No… No… Captain…!”

Cries filled with despair and curses toward the world scattered into the empty air.

“It’s not impossible… but still, it’s better to be prepared.”

The departing healer, spitting out only harsh words, was cruel and detestable. Even though I knew it shouldn’t be like this, there was nothing I could do.

“No. No… Captain will definitely…”

You will rise. Surely, as always, the captain will rise, and guide me.

You must.

A day passed.

“Not yet… You will surely come back.”

Ceris, still holding onto hope, stayed by Venice’s captain, not sleeping or eating.

Two days.

“No… no… don’t give up. Yes… I won’t give up…”

I try to rationalize, embracing the increasingly frail leader.

Three days.

“Leader…sir.”

“Surviving for three days… is exceptional.”

Looking at his pallor, now even more ashen than when I first saw him, Seris becomes increasingly unsettled.

The fierce storm blowing against the faint candlelight seems ready to extinguish even that small flame.

Four days.

“……………..”

Having foregone sleep and meals for four days.

Memories with the leader dominate my mind. The moment we first met, the first time we drank together.

His magnificent fulfillment of the promise to revive the Ska mercenary group. And like a hero from a fairy tale, the way he saved me from Nepenthes.

As I recall the times spent with the leader, I can only hold my empty gaze and heart, shedding tears.

And then, the fifth day.

When everyone had given up. Just as Seris was about to break, an anomaly occurred.