Into The Rain With You

I woke up to the sound of rain again.

It had become a constant over the past few weeks—this relentless storm that refused to let up, as if the world itself had decided to keep me in a state of limbo. The same heaviness hung in the air every morning, the kind that made it hard to breathe. And yet, I had grown used to it. The rain, the noise, the chaos... it was all just part of the backdrop now.

But today, there was a difference. Today, the rain felt like something else. Something I couldn't shake off. Something that had been building up inside me, like a pressure in my chest that wouldn't go away.

I had to face it.

I had to face them—my past with Chino, the confusion that still lingered, and most importantly... the feelings I had for Haruka.

It had been nearly a month since Chino's return, and although things had calmed down somewhat, the tension between us hadn't dissipated. We exchanged a few words now and then, but they were always shallow, surface-level. I kept avoiding the real questions, the things I couldn't answer without unraveling everything I had kept hidden.

But Haruka... Haruka was different.

She had always been a steady presence in my life—quietly supportive, always there when I needed her, and so damn easy to be around. Our friendship was simple. Or at least, it used to be.

Lately, though, things felt different between us. There were these moments, these fleeting glances that lingered just a second too long, the quiet touches that felt charged with something more than just friendship. I had been too scared to acknowledge it, to even think about it, because once I did, there would be no going back.

I had spent so long building walls around myself, pretending that I didn't care about anything, that I didn't need anyone. But Haruka had been the one exception—she always saw through me. And now, I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

As I walked into school that morning, the usual rush of students and the constant chatter seemed distant, like I was walking through a dream. I couldn't shake the feeling that everything around me was moving too fast while I was stuck standing still.

"Hey, Kai!"

Haruka's voice cut through the haze of my thoughts, and I turned to see her coming toward me, her raincoat bright against the dull morning.

She smiled at me, and for a brief moment, it felt like everything was normal again—like I wasn't tangled up in the mess of emotions that had taken over my life lately.

"Morning," I said, offering a small smile in return, though it didn't quite reach my eyes.

She raised an eyebrow, sensing something off. "You okay? You're a little quiet today."

I hesitated, unsure of what to say. The truth was, I wasn't sure if I was okay, but I couldn't tell her that. Not now.

"Yeah, just tired," I muttered, shrugging it off. "You know, same old stuff."

She didn't look convinced, but she didn't press it. Instead, she slid into step beside me as we made our way to class. I could feel the warmth of her presence beside me, and it only made the knot in my chest tighten.

We spent the day like we always did—Haruka chatting away about whatever was happening around school, Kaito making snarky remarks in the background, and me mostly zoning out, trying to push down the thoughts that kept creeping up. But as the bell rang for lunch, I found myself thinking about her more than I cared to admit.

I sat with Haruka and Kaito as usual, though I barely touched my food. The thought of eating didn't seem all that appealing today. My mind was elsewhere—on the conversation I had with Chino yesterday, on the way he looked at me, like he was waiting for me to say something, anything, to break the silence between us. But I hadn't. I couldn't.

"So, Kai," Haruka said, her voice breaking through my thoughts, "you still haven't decided if you're going to that party this weekend?"

I blinked, snapping out of my reverie. I hadn't even heard her mention it before.

"What party?"

"You know," she said, rolling her eyes playfully, "the one Kaito's been going on about for the past week. Everyone's going—well, except for you, it seems."

I hesitated. I hadn't been in the mood for parties lately. All I wanted to do was stay in my own little bubble, away from the noise, away from everything that felt out of my control.

"I don't know. I'm not really in the mood," I said, not meeting her eyes.

Haruka tilted her head, narrowing her gaze in that way she always did when she could tell something was wrong. "What's going on with you, Kai?" she asked, her tone softer now, more serious. "You've been acting distant lately. Even more than usual."

I felt my chest tighten, my throat suddenly dry. Haruka was one of the few people who saw through me, and I hated it. I hated how she could always read me so easily, even when I was trying to hide everything.

"I'm fine," I said again, this time with more conviction than before, though it felt like a lie on my lips.

She didn't say anything for a while, just stared at me with that knowing look in her eyes. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and for a moment, I wished she'd just drop it, let it go. But I knew she wouldn't.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "You don't have to keep everything bottled up."

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, I just nodded, my throat tightening with a mixture of guilt and something else—something deeper, something that I hadn't been able to face.

Later that day, as the rain continued to pour outside, Haruka and I found ourselves walking home together, the streets empty and wet, the air thick with the scent of damp earth. There was a strange quiet between us, like the calm before a storm, and I couldn't help but feel the weight of it pressing down on me.

"Haruka…" I started, my voice hesitant, "I've been thinking."

She looked over at me, raising an eyebrow. "That's dangerous."

I chuckled softly, but it was more nervous than genuine. "I don't know if I can keep doing this. Acting like everything's fine, pretending like I'm not... struggling with stuff."

Her expression softened, and she stepped a little closer, the space between us narrowing. "Kai, you don't have to pretend with me. I'm your friend. Whatever's going on, we'll figure it out together."

I looked down at my feet, feeling the weight of her words more than I could express. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk about everything—the past, Chino, the storm inside of me—but when I looked up at her, I saw something else in her eyes. Something I hadn't noticed before, but that was impossible to ignore now.

There was a longing in her gaze. A quiet understanding.

And for the first time in weeks, I felt like I wasn't alone.

"I don't know what's happening between us, Haruka," I said, the words spilling out before I could stop them. "But I know I can't keep pretending like nothing's changed."

She didn't answer immediately. Instead, she took a deep breath, as if bracing herself for something.

"I don't want you to pretend, Kai," she said softly, her voice barely audible over the rain. "But you don't have to have all the answers. Not yet."

The words hung between us like a fragile thread, and in that moment, I realized that I had already crossed a line. The line between friendship and something more. But the fear that had held me back, that had kept me from saying anything before, was gone now. Maybe it had always been gone, buried beneath everything else.

"I'm scared," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper.

Haruka smiled gently, her eyes warm and understanding. "I am too. But maybe that's okay."

I didn't know what was going to happen between us. I didn't know how this would all unfold. But for the first time in a long while, I didn't feel like I was drowning.

For the first time, I felt like I might just be ready to let someone truly in.