In Loki's Honor

My bold plan to get rid of the nobles' harassment was simple. I would make myself useful to all of the households. Once I was associated with all of them, a single one attempting to get my exclusive services would suffer a tremendous backlash. If my plan went right, anyone making a move on me would have to face most of the other nobles.

First, I had a lull in the harassment because of how quiet things got during the mourning period for the brave knights of this nation, that was suddenly and inexplicably murdered all in the same night. No noble House was left untouched, not even the Duke Regent's. That the highest-leveled and most wicked knights were the ones targeted didn't escape notice. The bodies were found horribly mutilated. What kind of monster could've done that to those monsters? Seriously, I interrogated their ghosts before sending them off. What they did in life, I don't dare commit to words. I regret nothing. Monsters, each one of them.

Several other knights flocked to the churches of Galbarar and Bundeus to seek atonement and redemption for their sins. The criminal underworld of the city suffered a crackdown but they were cockroaches anyway. I knew the local assassin guild was pissed at the independent operatives but some carefully planted clues pointed at outside work.

Could it be a foreign country attempting to weaken our forces before an invasion? That's what the medieval idiots thought. The real culprit walked away, a few billion Exp and quite the stash of gold and silver richer.

That bought me time to train some of my Skills to the new cap. I must say, living with noob Skills was hard, now that I was getting a taste of what the higher levels could bring. I got by with dumb luck most of the time.

I didn't just train my skills, I had to craft enough of my specialty products for all the noble ladies. The demand was huge. I set my workshop to brew more lube and some soothing medicinal ointment, for those hardcore kinks.

Spoiler:

And somewhere along the way, Lorna and I became an item. Sort of. She now behaved with a bashfulness that was like "I'm dating a celebrity". But despite a shocking first romantic encounter, we hit it off quite well.

I feared these master-apprentice relationships were frowned upon but they were awfully common. in some bad cases, required. But while sexual oppression wasn't as rampant as in medieval Earth, it still existed.

A sad truth was that most noble houses were led by men. In a world where equal opportunity was given to all so they could grow and follow any path they wanted, people picked their paths based on personal preferences among the choices they were offered. Men selected combat Classes that could give them great power and strength along with great risk. The consequences were that more than half the men didn't live to reach the age of twenty-one years old (that's twenty-eight Earth years). While female mortality was also high if compared to modern Earth, there weren't any spikes in mortality.

After that age men stopped dying as much. Those that survived that violent youth usually were on the first rank-up and their risk appetite lessened. They now set their sights not on growing stronger but in exercising that strength, usually by shitting on the weaker. Those were the haughty masters and champions of the world. Being strong paid off. One could oppress and extort the weak into supporting their lifestyle. And that caused envy and resentment that drove the next generation of young men to try their luck in murder chambers like the Dungeons or war.

Meanwhile, women got the shaft. Most of the time the metaphorical shaft but sometimes the shaft of a dick, an arrow, a club, or a spear. Or punches. I had a theory that the custom of wearing makeup in this word, at least, started because the ladies needed to hide the black eyes their husbands so kindly gifted them. They picked Classes that helped with caring for heart and children, nursing the sick, crafting, and building. Battle-crazy women like Josie or Karina were outliers.

In a world where might made right, the cycle repeated itself indefinitely.

The noble ladies, these were fortunate to not starve but also had to share their attention with the dozens of concubines and mistresses. The Barons, Counts, and Sires had no shortage of pussy to choose from. A veritable all-you-can-fuck Tex-Mex buffet. My buddy Cedric was there, working hard to not let me be a liar.

There was an untapped market among the high echelons for female pleasure products. The sweeping success of the lube showed it. And my next product would make the ladies toss their grandma's jewels at my feet.

I took a box from my storage and opened it. Sariandi's enchanted dildo set was amazing. Self-cleaning, self-lubricating - without getting oily or greasy! - and self-warming, they were awfully good at what they did. Yeah, I made use of them from time to time. I had the equipment to enjoy them, so I did. C'mon, it was like owning a Nintendo and not playing any Mario game.

I had six different sizes and shapes. Why Sariandi thought I needed this many, I had no idea. Lie, I had but no interest in trying them out. Especially now with an Eleon's body, the smaller one was fine. I chose the second biggest - who knew when I'd be a giantess - and used my perks to drain its magic and learn the enchantment. I got almost there but not quite. I had to drain another to learn the four enchantments that were on the dildos. They became part of what I could do with one of the [Enchanter] Skills.

The following effects were added to {Miscellaneous Enchantments}: Self-Repair, Preservation, Heating, Slick Surface.

Miscellaneous Enchantments (very rare): Allows the addition of effects without System bonuses to items.

There was one thing missing in these items though. They didn't vibrate. There were specialized shops that sold female comfort products. Josie took me to one, even. Getting warm was good, but not a game-changer. With that in mind, there I was, researching magic vibrating dildos.

Yeah, quite heroic. I reckon. Permission granted to laugh at me.

Who knows, maybe not all lost. This could lead to vibrating swords that sliced through stone like butter? Right. Let's go with that. My first thought regarding vibrations was an earthquake spell. I took a pebble in my hand and cast {Earthquake} on it.

You were hit by stone shrapnel. You took 15 HP of damage. Mana shield burned 5 MP.

Great! Not! "Motherfucker!" I curse.

Nenandil muses.

She chimes in. Showing the fairy my memories were a double-edged boon.

How did the phones vibrate again? A small motor, with an internal rotor whose center of mass didn't match the center of rotation. Better than turning pebbles into grenades.

I took a copper cylinder and drilled a small hole off-center. then I inserted a bronze rod and gave it a spin by hand. It wobbled, what was I expecting? I focused on a spell to make it spin on its own. A few minutes and I had it spinning around the axle without going around or losing momentum, although it required a trickle of MP to keep it going. Forge a case to put it in and there it is.

A day of work and I got a vibrating contraption. Three more days and I got the prototypes for testing.

Spoiler:

We were visiting Karina's baby at the Baron's mansion. Josie, Lorna, and me. Her baby was a pretty human boy which had the figurative golden spoon in his mouth.

"How are you doing, Rosie?" Karina asked while she breastfed the baby, named Hawkster by his father. "I heard the noble houses are in a fuss to recruit you as their retainer. Things are complicated. An independent spellcaster with your power is too much of a danger, they think."

"Just fine. I'm working on a project to give me my independence," I answered with a smile. And if it didn't work, I could always murder them all. Or brainwash them.

"Once winter is over, we are going to war," Karina continued. "The Duke is going to draft peasants. If you aren't aligned with a House by then, he can force you into service. Refusing would brand you as a traitor."

Murdering them became just that sweeter.

I sighed and shrugged, "We'll cross that bridge when we reach it. No use worrying in advance."

After talking for a bit more, we went back to my workshop.

"I have the finished product for testing. Who wants to give it a go?" I asked the two women with me. Both were grinning. Another round of girl on girl debauchery followed, but the product was a success. After testing it with the "focus group" I spent a week researching to convert it into the enchantment I wanted.

Taking a page from the triple-A corporations, I crippled my product to create planned obsolescence. My device needed a periodic recharge, one only I could do. That was bullshit, the enchantment could work on its own forever if I did it right. But then I wouldn't have the noblewomen wrapped around my pinkie.

Using monster leather, I crafted the dildos with the vibrating device inside and enchanted them with the five enchantments. Each of them had a low point-value but my engineered obsolescence took a bit more. I needed to engrave the glyphs that made the "recharge" code inside the vibrator's casing. It added a layer of security because the only way to see them was to destroy the device.

All I needed to do to "recharge" the dildo was to pour a bit of my MP to reset the timer enchantment inside the case.

One month later, I had the first commercial series ready. I held onto it until after winter because it winter was a season where people spent more time at home and in bed. It wouldn't have the same impact.

Over winter, I focused on bringing all my Skills to the new soft cap of "Beginner 24". Four months weren't sufficient even with all my Skill bonus perks but I got some of them there. There was a huge previously unseen benefit to raising the cap. A fusion of ten Skills at that level required only 100 Skill Points to reach Grandmaster. And it is much faster that way. I can even do a staggered upgrade and gather the required Skill points with intermediate fusions. Bet that wasn't what Wyxnos had in mind.

Winter passed without any major events. The country is going to war somewhere in the next two years. The neighbors won't let the Duke Regent rule without opposition and consolidate his power. It's too dangerous. I visit my parents for a couple of months, taking with me several ingredients and tons of flour so my daddy can weave his magic and make tons of fluffy bread for me. I even gave him baking soda.

My curses forbid me from teaching technology, even talking about the uses of baking soda, but I trust a [Baker] can find out what it does.

I also delved with Cedric and the girls. We expanded the research on female pleasure devices into a broader audience. Lord Honey-Cum finally had to take a guard shift alone in the tunnel while the harem tent became a ladies-only wild night. Lolz.

Spring came. The Kingdom was in a subtropical zone and didn't get much snow. This year was an outlier as we had a white cover for most of the five months. As the world bloomed back to life, the men went out to hunt, leaving the Ladies and Countesses home alone. I gathered a large group at a rented theater to demonstrate my latest product. Using my memories from Earth as a basis, I prepared a bachelorette party for no bride in particular. The harem girls were in very suggestive outfits. We had bunny girls, fox girls, and even a real cat girl. We offered the blushing noblewomen samples of my scented lube, ointment in both stimulating and heating versions - which thanks to magical alchemy did exactly what the label said.

We had only one rule. What happened in the ladies' party stayed at the ladies' party. They all agreed, even the Duchess, the Regent's wife.

She was fanning herself, looking at the Force case I put around the dildos in the display. They were all cylindrical in shape and spherical on top. I didn't make them imitating penises.

"Tell me, [Sorceress] Honorcoin, what are these contraptions?" The Duchess asked. "Given the night's mood I can have an idea, but why do I feel as if this is the night's highlight?"

I grinned, "Your Grace is perceptive as always. Indeed. But these aren't ordinary, how should I put, female comfort products. These are enchanted with a plethora of functions to make the experience as remarkable as it can be."

I heard her fan work overtime. I knew for a fact that the Duke Regent was neglecting his wife. I could only imagine how much pent up tension the Kingdom's top Lady was holding up. Before she could reply, I added, "There will be a demonstration by our volunteer team. In fact, I think we can start it now."

"I'd be delighted to see," She whispered.

At first I had my reserves about Lorna doing the demonstration, but she scoffed at my worries. "I've done worse on a stage," she said. The ladies took their seating on the private boxes and the cat-kin [Enchantress] entered the stage. She was wearing a glittering fae silk dress I made especially for her. The only decoration on the stage was a four-poster bed, the one the Elven council put on my bedroom when I was contained as a banshee.

Then she made the most erotic show I've ever seen. And that coming from a person that could live comfortably if XXXTubeFlicks paid me the hourly minimum wage to browse their site.

I didn't need a working sense of sight to know that Lorna's performance caused the ruin of more than one set of undergarments. Hushed whispers, heavy breathing. The "Elven Rod", as the new product was named, sold out immediately. I had more than one unit per guest, but several bought more than one to send as gifts. Or taunts. I didn't care. With the recharge gimmick built into the devices, they would surely keep eating off of my hand.

I'd like to see one of the noble Houses make a move on me now.