Immanent Ascension

The rain had stopped, at long last. Even in the cave, the fresh smell of a post-rain storm lifted spirits. Clouds still choked the sky, but it was only a matter of time before the sun came out and dried the roads. Was it a sign that everything was going to be different going forward?

Gandash talked to everyone on an individual basis. Starting with Jad.

Xerxes wondered if a fight might break out. But when it was over, Jad and Gandash shook hands. Gandash even reached out to put his hand on Jad’s shoulder. Jad nodded and smiled.

“I’m sorry, Xerk,” Katyoun said.

“What do you mean?”

“I know that me siding with Jad put you in a hard position. But, like I told you before, I’m not cut out for war. None of us are. If we can get back to the Gateway and call for help, everything will end sooner. And then you and I can get that apartment.”

Xerxes smiled. “I know. Kat, I wanted to ask you something.”

She looked at him expectantly.

“After this is over, there’s no saying we’ll be able to get that apartment we talked about on Sin-Amuhhu. What if we end up getting sent down to the lower starisles?”

“We’re already here at the lower starisles,” she said.

Feeling somewhat silly, he shook his head. “I know. What I meant is… what if we just get a place on Mannemid? Or hell, if you want to go back to your home planet, that’s fine too. It’s just that my dad has a good job in the capital on Mannemid. Maybe it’s not Sin-Amuhhu, but it’s not that bad.”

“You live by a harbor, right?”

“Yeah. You can get great seafood for cheap, right on the street. And rowboats are cheap to rent. I could show you some great island spots.”

“I think….” She put her arms around his waist. “I think we can make it work wherever we end up.”

He kissed her forehead. “Good. Then let’s make that our plan. We can play it by ear, obviously. See how much we get paid. And make the final decision based on that.”

“Okay.”

One by one, Gandash met with all the other mages. Except Xerxes.

Xerxes felt partly relieved, but at the same time, somewhat offended. He was even tempted to take the initiative to go talk to Gandash. But then again, what was there to say? Everything had already been laid out in the open. Once they returned from the Gateway complex at the head of an army of mages from Sin-Amuhhu, Gandash would realize everything had been for the better good.

The next morning, they broke camp and prepped for travel. They’d only been camped for a few days, but even still, it felt like they were uprooting and making a huge change.

It was as the troops formed ranks outside that Gandash came to find Xerxes. He wore his officer’s uniform, complete with all the accouterments. He looked impressive.

“Xerk, let’s talk,” he said.

Xerxes, who had been packing Red’s saddlebags, was caught by surprise. “Oh, sure. Um, Kat, do you mind keeping an eye on Red?”

“No problem,” Katayoun said, taking the horse’s reins.

Gandash was already walking away. Xerxes followed, being careful not to slip in the mud.

A few cubits from the mouth of the cave, the mountain slope led up to a boulder outcropping. They’d originally considered using it as a watchtower, but the rain had been too heavy.

From this vantage point, the gathering company below was mostly out of sight, but the rest of the mountain stretched out in a panoramic view. Ignoring the ruined village below and focusing on the road stretching to the east, it imparted a sense of peace and hope.

They stood there together for a moment in the stiff mountain breeze.

“Gandy, about that vote—”

Gandash raised his hand to cut him off, and then lowered it as if drained.

Xerxes was struck by how old he seemed. Not his skin or his hair. But his eyes. They didn’t look like the eyes of the happy-go-lucky bookworm he’d grown up with. “I made a mistake, Xerxes. Back on Sin-Amuhhu when you asked me to talk, I stupidly thought that drinking a bunch of ale would loosen my tongue and make things easier. Well, it loosened my tongue, that’s for sure. But not the way I intended.”

“Gandy, we already talked about this. It’s fine.”

Gandash kept talking as though he hadn’t said a word. “The problem is that I had some important things to say, but never said them. We’ve reached the point where those things have to be aired.”

“Okay.”

“I’m done with you, Xerxes. Done.”

Xerxes’ eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what Gandash was talking about. “What?”

Gandash looked away, shifting his gaze to the scenery below. “You’ve made it very clear over the past several months that you don’t want to be friends with me. So from here on out, we aren’t.”

Xerxes’s scalp tightened. “Gandy, what are you talking about? We grew up together. Maybe we’ve had some ups and downs, but nothing can change that. Our dads are best friends! Our moms too.”

Gandash shook his head. “Our family has nothing to do with it. Your parents always treated me well. Your sister too. I’ll never forget that. But you have a problem, and you know what it is? You’re a narcissist who only looks out for himself.”

Where is all this coming from?

“Look, Gandy, if you want to say mean things, go ahead. I can take it. Get it all of your chest. It’s only—”

“I’m not ‘saying mean things.’ It’s just the truth. When we had dinner and I got drunk, I went a bit wild. But it was my behavior that was wild, not my words.” He hesitated. “I take that back. I did say a few things that were way off. For instance, about you and Kat. And I apologized for that. I know your relationship with her doesn’t have anything to do with me. But —” he looked Xerxes in the eye “—the fact remains that although you didn’t make my life a living hell, you haven’t done anything I would expect a true friend to do. Refusing to take action can be just as consequential as taking action.”

“I….”

“Xerxes, we were both friends with Bel. But I loved her. And she died. Because of you.”

Xerxes’ mouth dropped open. “I….”

“I’m not trying to be dramatic, Xerk. You just had to jump in and fight that Abhorrent. She was back behind the line of troops, and went in to heal you. That’s why the thing got her. I understand it was a heated moment. Your actions led to her death. Did you ever talk to me about that? Did you ever talk to anyone about that? No, you didn’t.

“And what about Gem? He also died because of you. You picked a fight in the tavern, and that fight led to a street brawl. And Gem died.”

Xerxes felt his hands closing into fists. “You were drunk that night, Gandy. You were about ready to start a brawl. Gem and I did that knife-throwing trick to cool things down.”

“You didn’t have to knock the man across the room. You were showing off to the soldiers. It couldn’t have been more obvious. Like I said, you think about yourself, and nobody else.

“When we got sent up to Sin-Amuhhu you basically forgot about everything that happened on Mannemid. The blood. The death. Do you remember Rihan? Goran? Apuulluunideeszu? Aban-Saddi? Did you ever once go to the temple to mourn them? To burn candles for them? Did you ever think about Bel?

“No, you didn’t. And then you got tangled up with your fucking Swordmasters. Over and over again you’ve shown that you’d rather side with them than me. They humiliated me because of that elephant hat, and you went along with it. You laughed too. And do you think I don’t know Enusat sealed our door that night to prank me? All because he knocked my books out of my arms and I asked him for help picking them up? Don’t tell me you had no idea it was going to happen. You could have warned me.”

Gandash’s words were like stinging slaps across the face, over and over again. “Gandy, I did try to warn you. Really, I did. You’re blowing all of this out of proportion. You were just in a coma for three days. It’s probably affecting your thinking. Once we get help from the Gateway—”

“And then there’s the murder,” Gandash interrupted. “Maybe you didn’t know the exact details in the heat of the moment, but the fact remains you helped cover it up. You looked me in the eye and lied to me the very next day. Xerk, I’m not blowing anything out of proportion. I’m just telling you the facts. I’m not yelling and screaming. I’m not drunk. If nothing else, I’m thinking more clearly than ever.

“Here we are on a mission that could affect the fate of the entire empire. And yet again, you side with your new friends over me. That’s your prerogative. I can’t hold it against you. But at the same time, I don’t have to take it. So I’m done.

“Our friendship on Mannemid is something I’ll cherish. But you’re not the same Xerxes I played with as a kid. Maybe it wasn’t just Bel that died that day. Maybe it was you, too. I wish you luck getting back to the Gateway.”

Gandash turned, hopped off the boulder, and disappeared down the mountain slope.

Xerxes ignored the cold mountain wind that buffeted him. His stomach churned so badly he had to shove down the urge to vomit. Why had he sided with Enusat, who was now dead? Why had he gotten so wrapped up in life on Sin-Amuhhu that he never talked with Gandy about Bel and Gem?

Why, why, why?

He stood there for a long time trying to make sense of everything.

There’s still time to fix things with Gandy, he thought. Or was there?

Looking at the scenery, he tried to clear his mind. He focused on the horizon. On the clouds. On a bird that wheeled through the air. But despite those efforts, the questions and doubts assailed him.

“What happened?”

Xerxes turned, startled, to find Katayoun standing on the boulder with him, her fiery hair bound and hanging down her back, but a few loose strands dancing in the breeze.

He inhaled. Exhaled. “He’s pissed.”

“I probably would be too,” she replied.

“Not just about the High Seer vote. About… a lot of things. Between me and him.”

“I know.” She took his hand. “You’ve been up here for an hour.”

“Really?”

“The rest of the troops are already moving down to the road. I finished getting Red ready for you. Kash has your sword.”

“Oh.”

She walked back down to the cave mouth and he followed. Sergeant Stratos was in the rearguard. He gave Xerxes a wave. Xerxes half-smiled and waved back.

“Everything good, Xerk-man?” Jad asked.

“Fine.”

Kash tossed him his sword and sheath. He slipped the leather contraption onto his back and started buckling it.

Red was gone. After all, the High Seers wouldn’t be relying on the speed of mounts to make their trek. I can’t change anything now. The only thing I can do is go forward.

Xerxes looked to the West. The mountains that were their destination wouldn’t be visible until they’d crossed leagues upon leagues of dangerous terrain. But all they had to do was reach that Gateway complex, and everything would turn around.

“Are we ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” Kashtiliash said, giving a tug to tighten a strap on his sheath.

“Let’s save the day,” Dasi added.

Xerxes gave one last glance at the column of departing troops. “Yeah. Let’s get moving.”