Chapter 1 – Jocelyn’s Angst & Anguish Filled Intro Chapters (i was still funny while suffering tho)
Arc 1: Jocelyn's Angst & Anguish Filled Intro Chapters (i was still funny while suffering tho)
Chapter 1
"Why'd you have to make a scene? You ruined everything." A girl said in a honeyed voice.
She sounds familiar but I can't recognize her---wait, what did I do?
I looked across the backseat and the girl who spoke was blurry and distorted. I was able to make out parts of the beautiful, white Simone Rocha dress she was wearing and immediately knew who it was.
This is a dream. She wasn't with me after everything happened...Is this what I wanted to happen?
After this realization, I looked around and realized I was in her Range Rover with its tan leather seats. The driver was blurry. There was nothing outside the windows, just black. The Sheryl Crow single Anything But Down was coming from the SUV's speakers at a low volume. We both liked the song.
I looked back at her and said something I couldn't understand. The words that came out of my mouth were garbled, almost gibberish. It was creepy.
"Tch." She made a noise and looked out her window.
"At this point, that's all we can do." The blurry girl murmured.
I said something and used a tone that suggested it was a joke.
She laughed quietly and looked at me. "Even during situations like this you're still funny."
Thanks, blurry girl.
She looked at the back of the passenger seat as if pondering something and then unbuckled her seat belt daintily.
She looked at me, scooched over a little and then leaned over, her hands on the middle seat for support. She kissed me.
I was initially surprised, but once I regained my composure, she pulled back and sat back up. She smirked.
"Since we won't see each other for a while~"
I complained and the blurry girl laughed again.
God, I miss that laugh...
"You have to get going. You have people waiting for you."
I complained again and she shushed me. She looked down a little and then looked at me again, her eyes glistening through the distortion.
"Bye, Jocelyn."
The world around me contorted into a swirl of sparkly blues and purples. I shut my eyes.
I hate cryptic dreams like this. What am I supposed to do? Cry? Weep? Because this didn't happen. I'm better now! I'm doing just fine!
...Yelling at my own subconsciousness. What a way to start a novel.
Once I opened my eyes I was in the backseat again but this time it was my parent's sedan.
This car ride had a different air to it as maple colored, autumn leaves fell on the car, all while Gwen Stefani sang about being a mom or something. The famous singer-songwriter was in the passenger seat belting with her head out the window, the wind blowing her perfect blonde hair dramatically.
Dua Lipa sat across from me in the backseat. She was wearing a black bomber jacket, a red slip dress, and her iconic "MWAH" choker that her shoulder length brown hair was halfway covering from the angle I was looking at her.
I need to wake up already.
I was tempted to warn her about performing "One Kiss" but that would trend in late 2018. How would I be able to explain knowing about a song that is probably just now being worked on? I would have to make up something lame like "I'm actually a time traveling model from the future!"
I can't save her...
The contemporary pop star looked at me with her light brown eyes and smiled "I really like your outfit today. Your outfits are always so cool."
I blushed. I looked out the window to hide my embarrassment.
"Stop saying stuff like that. I can't be seen like this. I'm supposed to sound angsty and brooding in the intro so readers latch on to my character and think 'She's so hot...' or 'She just like me fr!'"
I guess I can talk in this dream.
"If you didn't air out all your dumb diary thoughts maybe they would." Gwen said, now sitting normally in the passenger seat.
"Look! I was smart and educated when I was 18. There's only a few things I think are dumb now but everything else I agree with."
Gwen and Dua looked at each other for a moment and then laughed.
My parent's maid looked at me disapprovingly in the rearview mirror. She was the one driving.
"Ok, we're getting to meta-narrative now. We're saving that for Volume 2, remember." She warned in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Miss Author's.
"Yeah I know. Readers are going to be confused." I conceded while tapping my knee.
"You're the one who wrote us into your dream like it's some 'Fem Reader x Dua Lipa' Fanfic." Gwen laughed.
How does she know what those are?!?
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." I said dismissively.
I sighed and shut my eyes.
I woke up in the same seat.
Now that I wasn't dreaming I can properly introduce you all to my story...with my semi depressing opening monologue.
Oh, suck it up it could be worse. I even revised it adding in my artistic flair. This artistic flair was made apparent by Marianne, of course. My teachers obviously didn't get it since all of my English grades were not the first two letters of the alphabet.
Be happy I made this interesting as believe me I've sat through more than a few boring monologue intros (thank you Ms. Emery). On that note I will officially begin the story...in first person of course as the best stories are told through that perspective.
The car ride had a solemn air to it as maple colored, autumn leaves fell on my parent's sedan, all while Gwen Stefani sang about being a mom or something.
My parent's maid cleared her throat and turned up the volume.
"notonlyinlove I WAS OBSESSED," echoed through the car's speakers as she must've turned it up pretty fast.
I guess she liked the song. On a normal day I would've complained and instructed her to turn it down but I was gradually burying myself in thoughts as we steadily got closer to the campus so I didn't really notice.
I was trying to think of the positives of moving into the dorms of Coraline Miller's Girls' School but my mind kept going back to my junior year since it was very hectic. It all started when a friend asked me to model for her clothing brand she was working on. I modeled for her and her brand got mildly popular at our school. After this I put more effort into dieting, networking, and branding. It paid off as I slowly started climbing up the ladder of brands I modeled for until May 3rd when a Guess recruiter sent me an email asking me to model for their upcoming winter line. I took the job, modeled for them, and was getting ready to bask in success when the "altercation" occurred and everything came crashing down.
Thinking about it made me tense. I shifted in the leather seat trying to find a comfortable sitting position as I stared out the tinted windows. Red lights created a bright moving sunset in front of us as cars lined up due to freeway traffic.
I didn't want to start over. Starting over was annoying. To be fair I've never really started over before when it came to schools. I've been with the same class of students since first grade so I guess it just feels like it would be annoying.
A real adult would think "This is just a learning experience for the future. It doesn't matter what hardships I go through, it'll help me in the long run."
Sure, a point can be made since adults start over a lot. A new job? New people. New place. New rules. A new apartment? New people. New rules. A new partner? You'll have to tell them everything since they're new. You'll have to say the same things and go through the same things.
It all sounded so tedious.
I just wanted to get high school over with at this point. I wanted to blend in, graduate and get a normal, boring adult job somewhere far away from this town. That was the plan.
High school is still the biggest obstacle. What if I don't make surface level friends and have no one to take pictures with at the graduation. No one to copy work off of. No one to shop at Bloomingdale's with. No one to go to prom with. Do they even have prom at all-girls schools?
...Even if I'm alone most of the school year, it's just 10 months. I'll get myself through this.
I looked up at the roof of my parent's sedan. A couple of minutes went by and my eyes felt heavy. I drifted into a short nap only to be woken up by my parent's maid stating "We are here Miss A."
I looked out my window and there stood the girl's dorm according to the flyer I had scanned through the night before. The cloudy night sky behind the dorms made my view look like a painting.
"Yes, we are." I said in a sheepish tone as I grabbed my black leather Michael Kors backpack that was on the seat beside me. I then turned, unlocked the door and opened it.
I stepped out of my parent's Mercedes, shut the door behind me and started to stretch to wake myself up.
"I parked about a mile from the residence. Just like we discussed yesterday." The shorter woman said emerging out the other side of the car.
"Yes, you did" I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the building I would soon be entering and living in for the next ten months.
I heard my parent's maid shut her door and open another. I then heard a rustling noise that I assumed was her fetching my suitcase that was nestled in the floor of the backseat. I looked her way just as she shut the back door. She didn't slam it but the noise still echoed because of the silence that seemed to surround that dead street.
The woman extended the handle and rolled it over until it was in front of me. I took it and then started to walk toward the dorms pushing the anxiety of starting over to the back of my mind.
*
The old metal gate creaked as I opened it to walk through. I looked ahead and the dorm stood tall with very little windows, an old maroon colored paint job donning the walls. Dead grass surrounded the path to my left and my right. Two benches stood in this grass facing each other, the path separating them. I passed the benches and noticed an array of trash on both of them. This included a small empty box that seemed to be holding a Dumbo Pop figure earlier that even featured Timothy as he was perched on Dumbo's head on the box art.
Marianne infected me with her nerd knowledge. A year ago I didn't even know what a Pop figure was.
Next to the box was an empty pack of Top Ramen which was surprisingly the only piece of trash that looked like it was being affected by the wind.
So it's one of those schools, huh.
I climbed up some steps that led to a big, old looking wooden door. I brought my suitcase closer to me and pushed the door open. Yellow light filled my vision as I got my first clear glimpse at how my dorm would be.
Dark green, stain filled carpets filled out underneath me just as brown striped wallpaper sat on the walls. A reception looking desk stood in front of me with two smaller looking doors on my right and my left.
I stood at the desk for about ten minutes just tapping my foot and messing with the hem of my denim sherpa jacket until an older woman came out of the left door breathing heavily.
The woman had brown hair tied up in a disorderly ponytail and big black glasses that sat a little low on her roundish face. She wore a fuzzy tan cardigan, a white undershirt, black jeans, white loafers and white ball shaped earrings.
She could've looked like an older version of Marianne if you added an olive tinge to her beige skin and took off the glasses. She was cute in an 'only librarian in her 30's' kind of way. She had static wrinkles but, you could tell they were from age and from smiling since when she noticed me standing there she smiled and they became apparent.
"Hello! You must be Jocelyn! I'm your dorm supervisor. You can call me Lizzy!" She exclaimed with a high pitched voice.
"Hi Lizzy." I replied.
I guess I sounded annoyed because she looked at me pityingly and apologized "Sorry if you were waiting long. There was a rat in the second floor bathroom and only one dorm supervisor." her eyes growing wide when she said one.
Rats?!? I'm hoping I misheard her because of my tiredness. I can't live here if there's going to be rats!
"It's fine." I said, trying not to use the same tone while also keeping my true reaction in my head.
"Here, I'll lead you to your room. You must be tired from the drive." She offered, pointing towards the door behind her.
I nodded. I was pretty tired.
We left through the door and in it was an empty living room type of area with two dark green couches and three comfy looking chairs surrounding a long black coffee table. Across from one of the couches was an old tv with nothing playing on it. Further down was an old looking kitchenette with two refrigerators, a freezer, a stove, two microwaves, a sink, and plenty of cabinets. Everything looked like it came straight out of a 70's catalog.
"Don't worry! One of your dormmates will give you a proper tour tomorrow!" Lizzy announced noticing me looking at the kitchenette.
I yawned and nodded in reply. We continued on into a long hallway that led to a creaky looking elevator.
We walked to the elevator and stepped in it. She then pressed the button to go to the fifth floor. A couple seconds passed and the doors squeaked close.
The older lady looked at me and smiled "The elevator's safe, but if you're still uncomfortable there's stairs to our right."
"Alright." I said a little too quickly and took a mental note of that.
Lizzy then turned to face the elevator doors again. A couple of seconds passed and she said "I bet you're wondering how I knew your name. Right?"
"Yeah."
"Well one, you're a fourth year transfer student which is pretty rare. Two, you have blonde hair which is also rare at our school." She stated.
"Interesting." I replied as the doors squeaked open.
"Sure is!" Lizzy exclaimed while we began to walk into the hallway.
We walked past a couple of rooms until we got to one with the number letter combination "32-D" on a black and green plate.
"Now here's your room! Do you have any questions before your tour tomorrow?" Lizzy asked.
I shook my head in reply.
"Alright. I'll be at the receptionist desk until 10 so if you need anything just call." The older lady said.
She took out a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to me.
I took it and said "Ok."
"Oh I almost forgot." Lizzy added while digging in her cardigan pocket.
She took out a bronze looking key with the numbers "32-D" on the top.
"Here's your key. You wouldn't want to be stuck living in front of your dorm room the whole year." The librarian looking lady laughed as I took my key.
"Right." I murmured.
Lizzy nodded excitedly, said goodbye and started to walk toward the elevator. I unlocked and opened the door. As soon as I stepped in I closed the door and dropped my suitcase and backpack on the floor. I didn't have time to truly take in the room as when I saw the bed I flopped in it and proceeded to go to sleep.
I dreamt of the blurry girl again, her soft lips, and the awkward way she kissed me as if she didn't initiate often.
At least that aspect of the dream was realistic...