I’m Not A Hero Like You After All

“Astarte.”

I heard that familiar name here, muttered by the Military Deity.

After finishing an absurdly long battle, I had returned to my previous domain.

To be precise, both me and Lucesia were back.

The desolate sandy plains and the ancient fortress in the distance, something you’d expect from a myth – we had indeed returned to our original territory.

“That’s Azenia. Are you talking about her?”

-Well, it is part of the divinity I possess.

Athena boasts as usual.

-You know who she holds the divinity of, right? And strictly speaking, beauty falls under my jurisdiction too.

“Is that… Aphrodite you’re referring to?”

Famous for being Mars’ mismatched counterpart, Venus.

Thinking of someone with a nasty temper was strangely off-putting.

-You’re special to me. You’re no longer Pallas or anything else, but now you mean something different to me.

But still,

-I’ve known her for a long time. I can’t favor either side. So from now on, I won’t aid you nor side with them.

“…”

-If I were purely Azenia, I might have helped you.

Athena.

She was reportedly extremely close with her half-brother Ares,

in a very bad way.

Outside, the Military Deity was flaunting his overwhelming presence in his true form, but even that was only part of his power.

The situation was worsening by the minute.

-Isn’t there something else to deal with first? Like that thing over there?

“…”

I turned my gaze towards Lucesia.

Her condition… clearly wasn’t good at all.

Allowing the Military Deity the first strike… had the situation already collapsed?

Still, the most serious issue wasn’t physical wounds.

<...>

She was clearly in a daze.

She was originally the ageless immortal residing in the World Tree,

the reincarnation of that very existence.

Essentially, the progenitor of the elves.

Most importantly, she demonstrated some form of immortality.

Strictly speaking, she could be considered to possess another divinity.

Just without having held a divine rank or attained godhood.

[So this is how it ends, huh?]

With a deeply disheartened voice, she struggled to rise.

Walking unsteadily, she collapsed beside Delica’s small lifeless body.

[It wasn’t just unfortunate.]

Even now, as myself called Lucesia,

and when she was bound to the World Tree, she was named Lucesia.

Fate or curse.

Bondage or liberation.

Either way, perhaps I exist solely to live and die in despair and frustration.

The emotions and thoughts emanating from her seem to be of that nature.

“…”

[Abraxas…]

Lucesia was dying.

And yet, trying to save Delica again despite everything.

[But even in death, I’ll remain trapped in shackles, flowing somewhere. Just like rivers cannot reject the sea.]

[Like how the sky cannot reject the earth.]

[Terrible curse indeed.]

As if about to burst into tears, she raised her head weakly.

Her once majestic ten pairs of crimson wings were now completely tattered, feathers missing, leaving only bare bones.

[You! Tell me, are you satisfied now? My life has been nothing but suffering. If only I hadn’t known better. You cruelly reminded me of this fact.]

“…”

[Sometimes, death is salvation.]

All her will was breaking down.

Even without words, that broken will was clearly transmitted.

Then suddenly, amidst the nihilism, a hint of base excitement appeared in her eyes.

[Still. He will take our place according to his own will. As the ferocious one, he will excellently fulfill what he does best.]

Lucesia let out a bitter laugh.

[Look. It’s all your fault, isn’t it? Nothing else but… you. Because of you.]

She firmly concluded while glaring at me.

[What did you… What were you planning to do from the start?]

“…”

Though I wanted to retort “Don’t ask me”, I remained silent.

Because I was the type who inadvertently understood others’ intentions and inner thoughts.

If I hadn’t possessed this empathy, I might have lived selfishly and ruthlessly without hesitation.

Being sensitive to others’ pain and emotions is exhausting.

Still, this is my essence, and I couldn’t help it.

“Escaping from the pit wasn’t enough, was it?”

Similarly, my current state was equally wretched.

Realizing that all the tragedies I’ve experienced were self-inflicted should be quite shocking, right?

Yet, I feel nothing.

Just emptiness.

“…”

However,

despite feeling empty, exhausted, and wanting to rest with my eyes closed, doing nothing – the situation wouldn’t allow it.

If I had only cared about my feelings and safety irresponsibly,

I wouldn’t have been anxious about such matters.

“There is a way.”

…?

Hearing a voice, I looked over.

Why is this brat here?

There stood my younger self.

“The situation hasn’t changed at all. We’ve simply returned to square one.”

“Square one?”

“You’ll either burn the world or become firewood.”

“…”

Why now?

My gaze unconsciously went to Lucesia.

For some unknown force, it was as if my vision was drawn to her.

“No way?”

“I knew you’d figure it out.”

My younger self smiled faintly.

Though I felt more than repulsed, he continued casually.

“It’s the only way to save everyone.”

“What is?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

[What are you looking at? Who are you talking to? You really see everything, don’t you?]

Can she not see him?

Of course not.

“Damn, it really is square one.”

That bratty kid presented an incredibly clear solution.

And it meant…

the worst possible outcome I’ve tried to avoid from the beginning.

“If the Empress foresaw my future as the Demon King based on this premise, then this is truly absurd.”

[Demon King…?]

Upon hearing that, she seemed to realize something and gave a twisted smile.

[Hilarious idea! But it’s possible. I’ll perish, and you’re more than qualified to accept what’s mine. You already possess other things, so it shouldn’t be difficult for your capacity.]

“Hmph.”

How frustrating.

“I wanted to avoid it, but it seems you’re lacking. In that sense, do you understand?”

Today’s misfortune is retribution from the past, right?

“To whom does the blame lie for not accepting that gift?”

“Are you saying all the ignorance and lack of knowledge after your choices are entirely my fault and sin?”

“Exactly.”

He maintained his innocent smile.

He spoke.

“The only thing I could offer was time and connections. If the current me can’t overcome this crisis with that, then that’s ultimately your limit.”

“…”

“Really disappointing. I didn’t expect this.”

Then he shook his head and urged me.

“It’s time to choose. You know staying idle is also a choice, right?”

“…”

Remaining here and idly watching the Military Deity devastate the world would also be a choice.

Doing nothing and just leaving this place to face him or escape would also be a choice.

And if I inherit the Demon King’s qualification from Lucesia and become the world-burning existence as per my original fate,

somehow the proxy will manage.

Whether by my hand or otherwise.

“…”

The problem doesn’t end there.

“The Net of Heaven is really troublesome.”

[What are you hesitating about? Are you planning to decide after all lives outside are erased?]

“Just do it quickly if you’re going to. Or do you have a better solution?”

“How do I know the current me can’t defeat that?”

The question was directed simultaneously at Lucesia and my younger self.

[Someone who subdued the Demon Realm alone. Even in his incomplete state, he was overflowing with pure power and strategy. Do you think he’s the same as when you barely drove him off earlier?]

“That guy could beat even Father. If Father had to sacrifice his life just to barely handle him, then surely this proves enough?”

“…”

Ah, so abundant.

Lucesia wants me to suffer as the Demon King.

Meanwhile, my younger self is probably both the embodiment of that era and the manifestation of the World Tree’s will.

Ultimately, both are criticizing and blaming my failures in some way.

But is this situation entirely my fault?

Time is running out.

There might be a way out somewhere, but

there’s absolutely no time to figure it out.

“Who will die in a few seconds?”

My younger self smirked, shading his eyes with his hand as if looking afar.

“Uncle Gaejef first, maybe.”

“…”

Cornered.

Or should I abandon their lives and focus solely on solving this?

But at the moment I become indifferent, I would cease to be myself.

What am I anyway?

…Exactly.

“…”

Impatience is poison, she said.

When anxious, foolish and clumsy me always ends up like this.

I realized there was no choice.

Good or bad, it’s irrelevant…

“Yeah. There’s really nothing I can do—”

Suddenly, a hand gripped my shoulder.

As if signaling ‘that’s enough’,

or rather, indicating they couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

-Ah, look at you! Really!

Accompanied by a slight mocking laugh,

golden light spread from my right shoulder to before me.

“Fool. Got it now? You’re just a bit stronger than others, but you’re nowhere near reversing fate or destiny. Perseverance requires time and opportunity. How does it feel to be blind when faced with this situation?”

“…”

“I was wondering when you’d show up.”

My younger self directed an unprecedented cold sneer at her,

his golden eyes filled with hostility.

“Wise Demon King.”

Though he didn’t use any derogatory titles,

the Demon King shrugged indifferently and muttered smugly.

-So, does that mean the situation is resolved?

“Surely you understand. But did I not know such a thing? This situation can’t be resolved with mere words. Besides, you probably know that sending us away from here requires mutual consent.”

…Definitely.

This must be the World Tree’s will disguised as my younger self.

Thus, this is undoubtedly a malicious trap and snare.

“Even if you intervene, what changes? Isn’t the situation already clear?”

-True. That’s why I’m willing to endure some losses and do something unsavory.

Saying so, she extended her hand.

“Give up your divinity.”

“…”

“Are you saying that?”

-Aphrodite. I secured it in this world.

She says unexpected things.

“Don’t tell me you thought the titles ‘Golden Aphrodite’ or ‘Golden Venus’ were meaningless?”

“Impossible. How could that relate to you… Isn’t that Athena’s…?”

-Do you know divinity can be lent? I’m the owner. To clarify, though I’m not the highest in the concept of gold, I’m certainly among the top tier. Therefore, consider all divinities related to gold within my influence.

“Even as a Demon King?”

-Slowly catching on, aren’t you? Whether possessing divinity, achieving divine rank, or godhood… none of that offers deviation, liberation, or freedom.

Yet, there’s a liberator in the lower realms, isn’t there?

-The Grand Demon King’s disciple was my original purpose. For that, I had to forsake everything, including my original divine rank.

King of Earth Elementals.

Even that was merely a restraint and shackle.

I was something greater.

But who am I truly?

Would the one seeking liberation be entangled in old obsessions and delusions?

“Even while everyone seeks their true selves?”

-What do you know? Is it important who I am? What I intend to do matters. Why bother understanding someone like me? Curious? You’ll naturally learn along the journey.

“…”

The brat fell silent.

-And Karriel. If you leave that as is, he’ll die. Fix it quickly.

“…”

The Demon King pointed at Lucesia and ordered.

But how am I supposed to save her?

-Try being straightforward for once. Just take her to her mother.

“My… mother?”

But Lucesia is from the…

-Once she became a false deity, those restrictions disappeared. Must I explain everything? You’re supposed to figure these things out yourself.

“…”

Does that mean we need to escape safely here?

But even if we do,

Lucesia has lost the will to live.

-Here’s a question for you.

The Demon King finally revealed some malice.

-If harsh truths destroy her, are you prepared to grant her salvation through lies?

“…”

“Demon King. Are you mocking life again?!”

My younger self openly showed anger.

The Demon King threw another line, indicating it wasn’t over.

-Ah, and remember that contract you made with your kind? Consider it nullified as well. Let’s say there are no more constraints between us?

“I, this…”

What’s happening?

Has she ever interfered this much in my life?

-Answer already, Karriel. Didn’t I tell you not to make me repeat myself?

“What do you mean by ‘lies’?”

-What do you think the world means to that existence?

World?

More vague talk?

No, it must mean something.

Indeed, she answered immediately.

-Memories.

“Mem…ories?”

-Another shocking truth: What if everything you’ve experienced isn’t actually yours?

“What are you… No way?”

-It is yours, but in a way, it’s not. Think logically, fool. No matter how long your dreams last, how can you experience decades or more in just a night or a few days? Does that make sense? Was I that omnipotent?

“…”

-Your memories shape your world. Not entirely, but they form the foundation and framework.

Look at yourself.

Your unfortunate world shaped your current reality.

-And I never told you about my fundamental abilities.

Why didn’t I choose any of the Grand Demon King’s numerous powers?

-Because I didn’t need them.

Our pursuits and intentions were too different, incompatible.

Even our natures didn’t match.

-There was a time when I viewed the ground beneath my feet as a world.

And another when I envied the skies above, seeing them as separate worlds.

One day, it occurred to me:

-Maybe the world exists because I perceive it as such. Without me, would the world even exist?

…Her words are full of contradictions.

Of course it exists. Obviously.

Still, I realized this story sounded familiar.

“If I die, will the world collapse?”

-You are your world’s entirety.

This is only half-real.

But the word ‘half’ itself holds meaning.

-How does the world recognize itself? Through the self? No.

What allows us to confidently believe in ourselves isn’t complicated.

-Memories. And the stage we stand on in this reality, along with the bodies that let us walk it. These three elements are the world itself.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

Coincidentally,

though she enjoys explaining things, why now?

Isn’t time crucial?

-Want to see for yourself?

“…”

The scenery across space was frozen, like a painting captured on canvas.

-Time flows differently here and there. A few dozen seconds here could be dozens of hours there.

At that, my younger self glared furiously with bloodshot eyes.

“You caused this! How dare you interfere with spacetime like this?! Does that even make sense―!”

-Didn’t I say I pushed it a bit too far? Doing something unsavory. Must I repeat myself twice?

“You damn Demon King!”

-Yeah, I’m the Demon King. If you have nothing to say, go sulk somewhere.

The Demon King carelessly waved her hand in response.

-We don’t have much time, that’s reality. Let’s wrap up the riddles here. I’ll lend you my power temporarily. Use it to grant that child false salvation. That’s my proposed solution. What do you think?

“…”

It’s a tempting offer.

Covering someone’s tragic life with the scent of flowers and honey – deception.

But given Lucesia’s current state, it seems there’s no other answer.

She lacks the preparation and strength to confront her past.

Moreover,

I promised.

To his father.

In another world.

The single wish of the miserable me there.

To grant it as much as possible.

“Karriel, do you understand what the Demon King is doing? She’s crossed countless lines already! If she does this, neither she nor you will be safe, do you understand?!”

-Danger-free adventures don’t exist. Typical remarks from someone who spent their life boasting while hiding safely inside.

“My will shall not be mocked! How can personal trivial emotional games justify the greater cause?!”

-That’s why I told you to shut up. I wasn’t planning to listen anyway. Just admire me silently.

“You petty creature! Even if you keep hiding it, nothing fundamental will change! Burn the world or become firewood! Unless you overcome this fate, escaping here will only lead to another hell!”

-Oh. That’s why I’m pausing it.

“Wha…?”

My younger self momentarily lost his words in shock.

Even I could only blink repeatedly.

-Just pause it like this situation.

She subtly nodded toward the frozen external world.

I couldn’t help but ask.

“How?”

-Will telling you make you understand?

Same old routine.

But…

“Lucesia.”

I had no choice but to ask her as well.

“If I were to offend you now, could you accept it?”

[What? After all that muttering, what nonsense are you planning?]

“Previous Demon King’s proposal.”

[Previous… Demon King?]

“Yes.”

I decided to be honest.

“I’ll rewrite your memories.”

And next,

“I’ll take back your Demon King’s fate to ensure you’re not unhappy.”

[What’s the difference between this and your initial decision to become the Demon King?]

“Because of your father’s request. To save you and assist in keeping you from unhappiness – I couldn’t refuse that wish.”

<...>

From her blood-red and gold-streaked eyes, an indescribable regret emanated.

[I killed my father. Me, the one who did that – are you telling me to flee from unhappiness?]

“He forgives you too. Rather, he apologizes for being late, for not saving you sooner. That was his final thought.”

<...>

“The one who entrusted his soul to metal just to protect you – you know who I’m talking about, right?”

[God? God?!]

“…”

While the Demon King was violently handling my younger self,

I finished exchanging opinions with Lucesia.

[How am I supposed to refuse when you phrase it like that.]

“Admit it’s cowardly…”

It wouldn’t work on me,

but mentioning parents and siblings is undeniably effective persuasion, albeit cowardly.

“If I become the Demon King, will I ultimately escape the Demon King’s fate?”

-That’s why I need my Demon Arts.

And until then,

-Leave it to the father of that fellow.

By then, the black armor that had lain scattered nearby was approaching Lucesia in a precarious state.

Lucesia weakly embraced it with both arms.

Her quiet muttering while hugging it…

it’s probably better not to hear.

Especially since it was mixed with sobbing.

-Originally, it includes this.

“Could it be…”

-That’s probably the arrangement foreseen by the me from that world. For now.

“…”

Certainly.

At his final moments, Cariel, Lucesia’s father,

had loudly demanded from the Golden Demon King, the Wise Demon King,

who once lurked behind him.

Your incompetence messed up my life.

Now you fix it.

I’m not asking for anything else.

Just that child.

Lucesia.

Grant her freedom and peace.

…

After making that unilateral request, he passed away.

Whether he listened or ignored it, honestly, I had no way of knowing.

But now I understand.

That was the arrangement from another world’s her.

The Golden Arrangement.

-Then prepare.

The Demon King approached Lucesia and said.

Suddenly, Lucesia lifted her head toward the Demon King’s direction.

[You…]

-Perceptive brat.

The Golden Demon King,

watching over the unfortunate Demon King of this era,

rarely sighed with a troubled expression.

---