I’m Not A Hero Like You After All

Right after sunrise.

Thanks to Mother being half bedridden, Father, having heard the news from somewhere, returned home late.

“Carriel. Did you really… have to go that far?”

I don’t get the gist of this question.

Was it necessary?

“Or what? Were you expecting me to let Partyna hit me and satisfy her base desires like some sort of dog? And then what would you say after I got beaten up like that?”

“But… Partyna didn’t have any reason to do something like that, right? I get that both of you were heated, but even so….”

“Why are you so sure about that? Who can read someone else’s mind?”

“We know her character better than anyone, you and I. Why do you keep making things worse?”

“I wonder why you’re especially angry at me.”

“It’s because she has high expectations for you. You’ve been like that since childhood, haven’t you?”

“Who asked for those expectations? What exactly am I supposed to believe in?”

The more we talk, the angrier I get.

I don’t even want to be around him anymore…

“At least, when you two fight and lose control, showing such scenes to your mother is a bit too much, don’t you think?”

“So what? You said we might get hurt when we fight, right? So if it’s real combat training, isn’t that normal? Isn’t that what you always say, that we should train like it’s real?”

My left hand, which had been half torn off and dangling, was completely fine as if nothing had happened.

Even my shattered and squished right hand was back to normal.

Mother must’ve used her powers; even if my hands had been rendered useless, they’d return to normal like magic.

“No matter what, using such extreme measures in a mock duel? This only happened because you trusted Mother’s abilities, right? Even though you dislike it, you went so far as to harm yourself…”

“What… are you saying?”

As if cutting off his words, Carriel bit her lip and sharply retorted.

However, Ruelde continued expressing his opinion without a flicker of hesitation.

“As long as it could be healed anytime. You probably thought Hermine would fix it effortlessly if she saw it. Hence, instead of nagging her with a hundred words, showing her once would be better. A smart person like you must’ve calculated and acted accordingly, right? Am I wrong?”

“That’s absurd nonsense…!”

No.

It’s not.

Maybe… there was some truth to it.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

But, did I really act based on rational thinking?

Not at all.

Still, if this is the result and you’re interpreting it this way, so what?

Ultimately, it was correct.

Just witnessing those distorted expressions and the pitiful collapse of their faces…

…there was definitely meaning in it.

“What kind of reckless thinking is this? If Hermine had been shocked and something happened…”

At that moment, Father paused and sighed deeply.

“…Carriel. Don’t ever do that again.”

“……”

“And explain the situation and apologize to Mother and Partyna.”

…Huh?

Apologize?

“Why should I?”

“…What?”

As if hearing something unimaginable.

His golden eyes momentarily twisted in confusion.

“Are you saying you did nothing wrong?”

“Is that what Partyna claimed?”

“…”

Ruelde answered while suppressing his irritation as much as possible.

“She kept insisting it was entirely her fault, saying she’d done something disgraceful, that she lacked the face to continue, and even offered to give up her knighthood.”

“Well, that’s how it is.”

“…Carriel.”

Did she stop talking there?

A sudden concern and worry for Partyna bubbled up, but Carriel dismissed it with a sigh.

So what?

Isn’t this just karma?

To begin with.

Why should I, the victim, feel guilty?

Why am I always…

…the one who worries and feels sorry for others’ pain?

I’m the victim, aren’t I?

Didn’t I suffer?

-Because you’re too damn nice! Being kind is good, but kindness is a great weakness that gets exploited. It’s not that you’re bad. It’s the bastards who use it against you that are despicable.

A voice came from somewhere, snorting and mocking.

The Demon King sprawled out like he was lying on a sofa, reading Carriel’s inner thoughts or prodding them, muttering under his breath.

And.

No matter how much she ranted for a hundred days,

That voice was merely a one-sided echo directed solely at Carriel herself.

Ruelde spoke with a somber expression.

“…You still seem to be overheated. Let’s continue this conversation after you’ve cooled down a bit.”

Then, as Ruelde was about to leave Carriel’s room,

“Stay in your room today. Wandering around in this state would be too dangerous to overlook. This isn’t a punishment, but I hope you’ll reflect on what went wrong and why this happened.”

“……”

I wasn’t planning to go out anyway, whether he said anything or not.

Even without responding, it felt like an implicit agreement was reached.

Both Carriel and Ruelde.

In the end, there was no answer or reply regarding that matter.

The door closed.

“Hmph.”

Relief and regret flood in all at once.

I still can’t tell which emotion is dominant.

The confusion filling my mind deepened, and the guilt weighing heavily on my chest made breathing difficult.

Why… should I be plagued by guilt and remorse?

If I had felt relief, it might have been better.

But I did feel it.

For just a fleeting moment.

But now?

Why does it feel irritating and uncomfortable, as if I’ve done something wrong?

-Didn’t I tell you? You’re too damn nice. Because you’re altruistic, you think more about the harm you caused than the harm done to you. It’s not a complicated story, is it?

The Demon King sneered and blew another raspberry.

The pretty form of a young girl, yet her face looked possessed by a demon,

her upside-down visage stretched with a truly contemptuous smirk.

An aura of malevolence emanates from her figure, cold and faint emotions rising.

-Your Majesty. Honor transcends gender and is the next most precious thing after the soul. Thus, stealing from my wallet is akin to stealing trash. Even if it exists, it’s practically meaningless! Hah hah!

Suddenly adopting an exaggerated tone, he rambled on with such nonsense that Carriel couldn’t help but respond despite focusing on her deep breathing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

-There’s nothing you can do about it, so forget it. The past is clearly over, you cannot hold onto it, and the future hasn’t come yet, so don’t fear or be anxious. All we have left is this tedious present.

“……”

-Weakling! Your name is Carriel! Kuk kuk!

The Demon King abruptly sat up from the sofa.

-Let go of your emotions. If they’re too overwhelming, either forget or at least get some rest.

“……”

-The moon has set. Now it’s only the Time of the Sun, isn’t it?

After saying that, the Demon King chuckled and disappeared by breaking through the wall as if he’d just told a hilarious joke.

“Haa.”

That irresponsible… no, Demon King.

There’s no way I could fall asleep now.

Still.

What should I do?

What do I even want to do?

Nothing comes to mind.

Nothing feels clear.

Right now, I can only lie here in agony.

Like always.

Wishing this moment would pass like a fleeting instant.

====

Beyond the walls.

When the Demon King arrived, he found the two who had contributed to his demise, and

the woman who had engaged in a near-frenzied exchange with Carriel yesterday, continuing their complex conversation with troubled expressions.

More precisely, Ruelde was reconfirming the situation by asking Partyna about the circumstances, but…

And the Holy Maiden Hermine.

With her hands clasped before her chest and her eyes closed,

she continuously recited prayers as if seeking repentance like a sinner.

Meanwhile, Ruelde watched helplessly, unable to dissuade her from doing so,

listening intently to Partyna’s ongoing words.

The sight of the hero consoling and caring for his wife and subordinates was pitiful beyond measure.

‘Still the same.’

Unbroken.

Unshattered.

Even in defeat, far from dying, they don’t even break.

There were many heroes and warriors called heroes besides Ruelde, but the Golden Demon King felt this guy was truly incomprehensible as an adversary because…

He was the only one in the world who remained unbroken.

‘Easily bent but never broken… Damn willpower.’

Nine heroes, once more numerous but ultimately known as nine heroes, were mentally pushed to the brink over time and could have collapsed at any moment.

Yet, for some reason, instead of self-destructing, they grew stronger.

‘Hmm.’

Looks like the aftermath still lingers.

Holy Maiden Hermine.

Once innocent and pure but manipulated into obsessive compulsions by the Order, she initially lacked any sense of self-determination.

Time passed, and the girl who had despaired over failing to fulfill her role as a savior…

Even after becoming a mother, she remained steeped in victim mentality, anxiety, and compulsive thoughts.

Looking closely, it seems she suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

“The Master told me not to expect too much from myself! But in the end, you put me in a difficult position! After seeing that, how can you tell me not to expect anything…?”

“Partyna. What exactly are you trying to say?”

“Some people hide their true strength intentionally and pretend to lag behind! But the Master is genuinely putting effort in his own way!”

“Partyna. Please calm down and get to the point.”

At that moment, a low murmur came from somewhere.

“My sin, perhaps. If only I had saved more people… Is it because I failed that this child turned out so warped? Shouldn’t I be the one atoning? Why has heaven let this child become so twisted? Father in heaven, I simply do not understand. If it’s my fault, it would be better to take my life and bring me to you…”

“Madam! Do not think such thoughts! If you do, what becomes of Lord Ruelde and those of us you’ve saved? Please… don’t say such sorrowful things…”

The Demon King chuckled.

This is utter chaos.

Despite their earnest pleas, Hermine’s eyes remained vacant and lifeless.

“How strange… isn’t it? My child was certainly not like this during childhood, right, Ruelde? Partyna? That child was said to be a blessing to the world. How much effort did we put into ensuring that child grew up straight? Even when she volunteered herself as a hostage for the Princess and the country, traveling between nations… Even there, that child… that child…!”

“……”

Ruelde fell silent.

Very appropriate reaction.

In this case, the best course of action is to listen quietly.

“Could the incident five years ago have been the problem?”

Due to Partyna’s unexpected comment.

“That’s…,”

Ruelde’s expression twisted.

Hermine opened her mouth to say something, but not a single word escaped.

‘Five years ago, huh.’

An unknown story to the Demon King.

But he can make a rough guess.

Hints Carriel occasionally dropped.

Other hints observed from his surroundings.

Piecing them together gives a general idea.

However.

This somewhat diverges from the expectations and misjudgments surrounding Carriel.

Also.

This understanding isn’t fully clarified yet.

If it’s unclear, then it isn’t properly understood.

‘It’s not the duty of a wise scholar to roughly estimate with flimsy hypotheses.’

Even if the hypothesis guarantees 90%, 99% accuracy.

The absence of 1% equals inaccuracy.

Even a 0.1% shortfall signifies complete imperfection.

“We’ve seen countless examples where second generations, being dull and foolish, ruin their family fortunes, sell out their countries, and dismantle the great achievements and reputations of their ancestors… Ruelde.”

“……”

Hermine’s words prompted a slight nod from Ruelde.

“In times of turmoil, as the world plunges into despair, those villains and rogues seize the opportunity to indulge in their pleasures. They neither protect the weak nor respect the wills of their ancestors or higher ideals, let alone the Divine Will, which they disdain, betray, and ignore… We absolutely could not allow our Carriel to grow up like that. Never…”

‘Hmm.’

Since invading the Middle Realm, countless individuals betrayed their nations and races in plain sight.

Of course, when the tide turns, it’s normal to kneel and surrender rather than die needlessly.

Compared to other Demon Lords, he treated his enemies relatively courteously.

Respecting those who surrendered thoroughly.

On the contrary, those who neither surrendered nor submitted…

…he burned everything to ashes and butchered them all without mercy.

War is war, after all.

Besides.

The Daemons had ample justification, reasons, and righteous claims to despise the creatures of the Middle Realm.

Even if she controlled them, it wasn’t something she could fully manage.

‘That’s my issue now, so it doesn’t matter anymore.’

“The Master is merely wandering for a while. The wounds have yet to fully heal…”

“Partyna.”

Her gaze and complexion, filled with enthusiasm yet dangerously wavering, clearly showed she wasn’t in her right mind.

Did the young woman also suffer significant psychological trauma, similar to Hermine?

“What makes you assume he’s disappointed, speaking like that?”

Amidst all this.

Ruelde temporarily set aside the opinions and thoughts of the two women.

Focusing entirely on what Carriel had said.

“Not that there was no burden, but was it really that severe?”

“Ruelde?”

“…Director?”

“Perhaps.”

Looking somewhat weary but quickly regaining his composure, he said:

“Maybe we should have paid a little more attention to that child.”

Upon hearing this, Hermine questioned with trembling eyes, as if wondering if she had missed something:

“Attention… do you mean? Isn’t it already enough… even excessive?”

Oh?

At this, the Demon King let out a sound that was hard to distinguish between a sigh and a chuckle.

Ruelde unexpectedly hit the nail on the head.

But, would this correct answer lead to a grave mistake?

Or would it indeed be a simple and clear solution?

The Demon King began to feel slightly curious about this point.

Still.

‘When the water has spilled and dried up completely… how do you plan to undo this?’

Moreover.

The Holy Maiden, still failing to grasp the situation, mistakenly believed she was doing her best.

Is it due to pregnancy-related psychological instability and anxiety?

But looking at Carriel’s condition, it doesn’t seem to be the case.

Strictness versus affection.

Showing concern while considering the nature of that concern.

She seemed to lack understanding of these aspects.

Rather, more accurately…

‘Because it’s her own child.’

The Golden Demon King knew better than anyone how the Holy Maiden treated outsiders.

He had personally used that knowledge to stab a dagger into her heart.

Exploiting the unfortunate.

Taking advantage of the pitiable.

To instill betrayal, guilt, remorse, anxiety, and hatred deep within her soul.

Feeding her a bitter taste all around.

Yet, there was no disappointment, hatred, or resentment.

A woman who embraced it all.

Which makes it funnier, doesn’t it?

Why doesn’t she treat her own child the same way?

‘Disciplining strictly to ensure the kid doesn’t stray and guiding them on the right path… something like that, right?’

Not a wrong statement.

But not entirely correct either.

Besides.

Had they fallen short in this area, wouldn’t it have helped to have a nursemaid or someone nearby to offer advice or support?

‘Pitiful.’

It was really such a trivial issue.

Compared to facing him, it’s a mere trifle.

Why do these brilliant minds, when placed in a domestic environment, become so clueless?

‘Well… that’s because I’m just a bystander, so it doesn’t matter.’

Whether reaching the right answer or falling into error, leading to collapse and destruction, and watching everything painstakingly built crumble like a sandcastle…

To the Demon King, it’s utterly… none of his business!

Certainly not!

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