I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

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The Receiver XII

[You are going to like that person.]

That person?

"…"

In fact, it probably bordered on verbal abuse.

Proof of that lay in the shock she felt. as if someone had cracked her across the head.

"…When you say I'll 'like' someone… are we talking about love? A romantic feeling?"

[I understand. It must be hard to believe.]

The shadow spoke.

Its tone implied that it had already mapped every gear and spring of the tangled emotions inside her.

Just as that arrogant manner was about to grate on her again, the speaker cut the ribbon with its tongue first.

[No wonder. It's because your tastes are really, really exacting.]

"Excuse me?"

[I'm only stating the facts. I've never met anyone with preferences as finicky as yours.]

Robbed of her timing, she was left speechless. What on earth was this lump of shadow spouting?

"I'm sorry, but I have perfectly normal standards. I almost pointed that out earlier, you clearly don't know me."

[Is that so? Well, first off, isn't basic self-care a given?]

"Of course it is."

She answered instantly.

"Even on nights when I've taken sleeping pills, I never skip my dawn run. Even when I feel lazy I still go. Not because I enjoy it, but because I need a baseline level of fitness."

[And would you agree that amassing enough wealth to support your life also falls under basic self-management?]

"Naturally."

Again her reply was immediate.

"Modern South Korea rests on capitalism. There are many ways to define it, but personally I see capitalism as a system that quantifies life in money. Some find that reductionism suffocating, others liberating. Yet once a society grows past a certain size, any system breeds side effects. Imagine an ancient order that measured every life solely by individual martial prowess—that would have been just as violent as capitalism. Human society is violent by nature; we have no choice but to live in a violent world. If in that hypothetical age honing one's martial skill was a basic virtue, then in a capitalist age husbanding one's property is the basi—"

[I see. So that's what it feels like.]

The shadow murmured, sounding somehow like a sigh.

[And, unexpectedly, you care about appearance too.]

"Pardon?"

[No, wait. That could be misunderstood. Appearance is secondary, of course. I don't mean you like someone because of their looks; I mean you like the looks of the person you've come to like.]

"That makes no sense."

[Also, you believe every decent human should have compassion for the weak.]

"Isn't that obvious?"

She frowned.

"Compassion is one of humanity's basic conditions."

[You also think a good memory is essential, because without it a person may forget their own past and lose consistency.]

"That's perfectly true."

[And you need to be able to dive deep into philosophical conversation together, right?]

"The word 'philosophy' may be antique, but philosophical questions have never vanished from humanity. Everyone tackles philosophy from some crooked angle of their own life."

[They should like keeping fish as well, shouldn't they?]

"Raising fish is like tending a garden: a pastime that grants diligence and meditative time together. Stillness in motion, motion in stillness—an important mindset."

[Even if they don't love the world, if the world demanded their life, they should be ready to lay it down—yes?]

"Yes."

[In short, you want someone exactly on your level, because you think you yourself aren't anything special, but just an ordinary human.]

"Why do you keep pointing out things that are only natural?"

[…And if that person happens to brim with a little extra energy, you'd call it a bonus, since you're so static. Yet here's the paradox—you'd also like them to love stillness enough to spend an entire day indoors without a single complaint.]

"Naturally. Humans are multifaceted. I'm aware of my contradictions, and since I'm aware, they'll be resolved one day."

"…"

Silence.

After a long pause and several sighs, the shadow spoke again—slowly, as if reluctant.

[Your standards… are simply too high.]

"Excuse me?"

[Your basic problem, the source of every difficulty, is that you grossly overestimate what a being called 'human' can do. You want everyone to perform exactly as much as you do.]

"Doesn't everyone?"

[No.]

"Then they must be inhuman."

[See? That reaction, that's the issue.]

"If my standards are wrong, then the world is what's wrong, not I."

[There you go again.]

"I get it. You're saying I'm the problem, yes? Fine. I'll die, then. I've been completely refuted."

[…And yet, for all your fussiness, you'll still come to like that person.]

"…"

This time it was her turn to go silent.

Toward her, the shadow continued:

[Nothing in this world is obvious. Your standards, your wishes… none of them are givens.]

[Even the tiniest things are miracles.]

[And for you, a slightly larger miracle is waiting.]

"…"

[Please stay alive just a little longer.]

She couldn't answer.

It wasn't something she could promise lightly.

[While you're watching that person, you'll learn a little more about how to cherish yourself.]

[…You'll even live that dream of studying together—just the two of you, reading side by side.]

[You'll come to like things you've never liked before.]

[You'll learn something from that person every single time.]

It was an impossible picture to imagine.

[You'll read the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, for example… books you could have lived your whole life without opening, praising historical figures by force—doing things you never once expected to do.]

"?"

The Romance of the Three Kingdoms? That old classic only grown-ups read?

[■■, ■■■, really, ■■?]

[I'm sorry, but please be quiet a moment, Mr. ■taker. Anyway, Mr. ■■■'s voice isn't coming through.]

[■■■.]

[If you keep on like this I'll swap my allegiance to Sima Yi.]

"…"

The second shadow, which had sat meekly by all this time, gave a slow wriggle. Judging by the outline, it seemed male, but it soon quieted again.

[Now, while you wait to meet the greatest miracle, let me tell you a few smaller ones that will pass the time.]

A white shadow stretched out.

It wrapped her hands firmly.

[Put your palms together.]

She did so.

[Yes—just like a prayer. Good.]

[With your hands like that, you can send messages—only to people you know, and only to those who have awakened special abilities.]

Messages?

[Think of it as KakaoTalk. At first there's a character limit and sending voice is tough.]

[But you'll adapt in no time.]

[Just as I did.]

"…"

Ridiculous.

Was it telling her she was about to awaken some super-power? Like in a Marvel movie?

[And when you close your eyes—]

[You can see through someone else's vision. That one takes longer to master. At first you'll get a touch of motion sickness every time you share someone's view.]

"…What—"

[But don't worry.]

The shadow still clasped her hands warmly.

[You can practice whenever you want. In fact, you possess the ability to stop time.]

"…"

[Try them, one by one.]

The white shadow squirmed.

[At a bank. In a deserted mountain. At a zoo. On Hongdae's Gyeongui Line Book Street.]

[Surprisingly, it will be fun.]

"…"

She thought the shadow was smiling.

[And one day, you'll become me.]

"You are—"

[I'll be waiting.]

[Until the day I become you again.]

Everything around her turned white.

From the warmth on the back of her hands she knew instinctively that this strange dream was ending.

"Ah."

And that she had already held similar conversations more than once.

Because it all happened in dreams, there was no guarantee her brain, dulled by long use of sleeping pills, would remember any of it clearly.

I must remember.

She prayed with all her might.

I must remember—the conversation, the feelings I felt.

She pressed her hands together as if in prayer and wished.

It was a preposterous dream, full of absurdities, yet she did not want to forget a single part of it.

If only that white warmth that had wrapped her hands… please… just that much.

[One more thing I didn't mention… ah.]

[Once you practice stopping time, you'll probably find yourself with a surprising amount of free hours.]

Oblivious, or indifferent, to her desperation, the white shadow spoke in a leisurely tone.

[When that happens, taking up web novels or webtoons wouldn't be a bad hobby.]

"Pardon?"

Web novels? Webtoons? Out of nowhere?

[There may be hints in them for how to use your abilities.]

"What on earth—"

[Fighting!]

And then…

…everything went white.

She was dreaming.

"…Another weird dream."

An everyday morning, the same as any other.

But when she sat up in bed, she met a slightly odd sight.

"…?"

Her hands were clasped.

She had fallen asleep with her palms pressed tight together, as if praying to someone.

Why in the world such a pose?

"…Must be the sleeping pills."

She felt sure she'd had a significant dream.

Yet nothing would surface.

"Haa."

Recently the nightmares had grown worse. Maybe it was time to quit the pills.

She felt like scolding herself.

The instant she let out a sigh, an absurd sound slipped between her lips.

"Uh?"

It was astonishing.

[I'm pathetic.]

Because right there in the empty air, where nothing should be, proper letters floated.

And that wasn't the end.

[Huh? Letters? Is this a dream?]

Words kept appearing in mid-air.

Her voice grew even stupider.

"Eh?"

[Eh?]

"…"

[…]

"What on earth—"

The moment she stretched out her hand, as though it had all been illusion, the letters vanished.

"…"

Why?

A hallucination? But it had been too crisp to be hallucination—no wavering.

Sleeping pills? Taken to excess they could deepen hallucinations, but the ones she used couldn't cause visions the morning after.

Then why had those vivid letters vanished in an instant when nothing had chan—

"Ah."

She looked down.

Her hands. Her palms.

With a sinking hunch, she resumed the praying pose on the bed.

[No way?]

"…"

As if on cue, letters bloomed again.

She muttered blankly.

"…Impossible."

[Impossible.]

"Could it be—"

[Am I insane?]

"…"

Spellbound, she spent the whole morning testing this sudden mania.

Glancing at the wall clock, she found it was noon, already midday.

"Super-powers? No, impossible. That can't… except… it actually—"

She still didn't know.

That what she had just experienced would one day be called an "Awakening."

That most Awakeners had to endure enormous trial and error just to learn what their power was.

That she, by contrast, had grasped her abilities' nature far too easily, absurdly fast.

That others would call it luck and envy or resent her, claiming it was coincidence.

But in truth, it was inevitable.

"…"

She still didn't know.

That come summer, she would fall in love with someone.

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