I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

Lukas found it remarkable that Aaron never showed a hint of unease in front of Selina.
No—if anything, he seemed even more confident when facing her than before.
How is that possible?

Lukas quietly studied his friend, waiting until Aaron noticed his gaze and turned to look at him.
“…What is it?”
“When Selina first woke up, you were hesitant around her. But lately, you’ve been so… proactive. Why?”

It was a dangerous question.
But Lukas had to ask.
Because if Aaron was merely pretending to be fine—if he was slowly eating himself away, acting strong just for Selina—then someone needed to recognize it.

Someone needed to be there to fill in the parts of him that were being chipped away.
Even if they had been clashing a little more lately, Aaron was still his closest friend.
And the same was true for Aaron.

Lukas was like a brother to him, so he immediately caught onto the weight of the question.
He even had the fleeting thought that it was easier to understand Lukas than his own half-sister, Selina.
‘No… maybe that’s actually true.’

Aaron smiled smoothly.
“When Selina woke up, I was scared. For a while, I thought… maybe she ended up that way because of my selfishness.”
“Your selfishness?”

“Yeah. My selfishness.”
Aaron’s voice was calm, but the emotions beneath it ran deep.
“Selina was always unstable. Her face showed nothing, her voice was empty. She looked like someone who had lost everything, along with her memories.”
As he spoke, an image of Selina surfaced in his mind—the same blank, distant gaze she had given him after waking up.

He realized something then.
He could no longer clearly recall what her smile had looked like. Or her tears.
“But deep down… I think I didn’t want her to go back to the way she was before.”

Aaron had been terrified when Selina tried to jump from the tower.
He had been so shaken that he hadn’t been able to sleep for days.
No matter how much she had hated him before, she was still his little sister.

He still remembered how precious she had been as a newborn—the tiny, fragile baby he had first met when he was five years old. Watching her grow had brought him nothing but joy.
Selina was happiness. She was a blessing.
Even as she grew older and came to resent him, his feelings for her had never changed.

But humans were fickle creatures.
He had told himself it was fine if she hated him. That he didn’t mind watching her grow from a distance. That it was enough.
But when she lost her memories—when she stopped hating him, stopped resenting him, and simply called him “Brother,” recognizing him as family—

It had made him so happy.
So happy that he didn’t want to go back.
“…I’m selfish, aren’t I?”

Aaron let out a quiet breath, lifting a hand to rub his face.
He felt like he could cry, but he didn’t want to shed tears over Selina.
“I was so scared. And I felt so guilty—like my selfishness was what had driven her to that point.

So I distanced myself.
But then… I had a dream.”
In that dream, Selina lay cold and lifeless.

Her closed eyes never opened.
Her sky-blue hair, once so vivid, crumbled like dying leaves, breaking apart from the ends.
He had tried desperately to stop it—to gather the disintegrating strands in his arms, to hold them in his hands—but they continued to dissolve, scattering like ashes.

‘Selina! Selina—!’
And it wasn’t just her hair.
Her fingertips, her toes.

Her pale skin darkened into dust and crumbled away.
Until there was nothing left.
And all he could do was scream.

The dream had ended there.
When he woke, his body was drenched in sweat.
His throat had felt tight, like he couldn’t breathe.

“…And after waking up, I was afraid again.”
Aaron chuckled weakly, forcing a lighthearted tone.
“I really do get scared too easily, huh?”

Lukas let out a small laugh in response.
Because right now, that was what Aaron needed.
“And what scared you this time?”

Aaron clenched his cold, bloodless hands into fists—then relaxed them.
“…That I didn’t do enough for her.
That I didn’t express it enough.

That I pushed her away.”
He had convinced himself that it was his own selfishness that had hurt Selina.
So he had distanced himself.

But after that dream, all it had left him with was deeper regret.
Death was emptier than he had ever imagined.
And because of that, he wanted to show her, to tell her—while they were both still alive.

To prove it to her with everything he had.
"You are my blessing. My happiness."
Lukas said nothing.

More accurately, he couldn’t say anything.
At that moment, his friend—his pale-skinned, sword-inept, mild-mannered friend—
Seemed larger than anyone else in the world.

Stronger than anyone.
So much so that Lukas didn’t dare say anything.
The grueling greenhouse party had ended.

And then came the flood of invitations.
This translation is the intellectual property of .
Apparently, the guests had spoken highly of me, because each letter included phrases like “graceful” and “benevolent.”

Well… mission accomplished.
Not that I intended to attend any of them.
I skimmed through the letters lazily, only checking the ridiculous embellishments attached to my name.

There were so many must-attend events this year… or maybe only a few.
Either way, if I started going to every single one, I’d probably die from overwork.
Yeah. That sounds right.

Satisfied with my reasoning, I swept the stack of letters to the far corner of my desk and flopped onto my bed.
My home.
My sweet home.

“Aiden.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Hearing my muffled call from the bed, Aiden approached and reached for the water jug beside my bed—his movements practiced and familiar. Soon, the water inside solidified into chunks of ice.

Rubbing my face against it was the best way to cool down.
It dripped a little, which was a minor inconvenience, but honestly, life was much more comfortable if you just ignored small inconveniences.
This was the magic of Aiden that I had come to rely on the most since summer began.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was following in Lukas’s footsteps, shamelessly abusing the talents of a genius, but… well, Aiden seemed to take pride in it, so it was fine.
“Aiden, have you still not decided about the magic incident?”
“Well, that’s…”

I had only asked casually, but Aiden hesitated, looking troubled.
It seemed he still hadn’t made up his mind.
“That’s fine. I was just asking.”

It had been two months since I suggested that Aiden consider becoming a mage.
And yet, he still hadn’t given a definite answer.
Of course, I had told him to take his time, but this was way slower than I expected.

In the novel, he had made his decision much faster. I had even gone ahead and gotten the necessary permit from the Mage Tower and secured my father’s approval, thinking he would accept without hesitation… But he was taking an awfully long time to make up his mind.
Then why the hell had he accepted so quickly in the book?
Was it because he had been living in this house?

Or… Had Selina done something so unbearable between the ages of nineteen and twenty-two that he had no choice but to seek revenge through magic?
…No, that couldn’t be it.
It better not be.

Concluding things in the most optimistic way possible, I turned over toward the window, my back to Aiden.
A pleasant drowsiness settled over me. The air was warm but not stifling, a soft breeze drifted in through the open window, and the ice-cold jug pressed against my cheek was refreshing.
Ah, I could stay like this forever. Doing absolutely nothing. Just lying here in peace.

But clearly, fate—or maybe Eunji—had other plans.
Barely ten seconds after I had decided to laze around, a knock sounded at the door.
“My lady, another letter has arrived.”

Another letter?
I already had a pile of invitations shoved into the corner of my desk.
Why was everyone so eager to waste precious paper on me?

“Aiden…”
“Yes.”
Aiden, who had gone to fetch the letter, handed it to me as I remained sprawled on the bed.

The envelope was excessively ornate.
It was the kind of gaudy design that immediately reminded me of Mia or that peacock of a noble.
After scanning the cluttered patterns for a moment, I finally located the sender’s name.

"Jacob Cooper."
Ah.
Right. I had been expecting this sooner or later.

Placing the jug on the bedside table, I sat up and leaned against the headboard.
I roughly tore through the unnecessarily flashy wrapping and pulled out the actual letter.
The pages were neatly filled with elaborate calligraphy.

Wow, his handwriting is pretty good.
Unlike mine or Vivian’s chicken-scratch penmanship, Jacob’s script was unmistakably that of a refined noble. I let out a small murmur of appreciation.
"My dearest Lady Selina,
As I gaze upon the vast blue sky, I am reminded of your azure eyes. Ensnared within their depths, I find myself a helpless wanderer, lost like a lone bird in the boundless heavens…"

I skimmed over the next lines with dead eyes before folding the page over.
Why the hell is he writing me poetry?
Did picking up a pen turn him into some kind of tragic poet?

Jacob, do yourself a favor and never write again.
Ignoring the flowery nonsense at the top, I skipped straight to the real message at the bottom.
"I wish to meet you to properly express my gratitude for the handkerchief.
Next weekend, a famous opera will be performed at the theater.
A story of love, sung beautifully by its performers—how wonderful it would be to enjoy such a masterpiece by your side, Lady Selina.
Ah, my dearest Selina, I await your kind reply with great anticipation."

The letter reminded me of the one Vivian had sent me before.
Did they both learn how to write like this from the same etiquette instructor?
An opera, huh…

In my past life, I had never been to a musical or a play.
Eunji had loved musical soundtracks, so we had watched recordings together sometimes, but that was about it.
Come to think of it… Eunji had always wanted to watch one in person.

But the doctors had never allowed it.
My grip tightened around the letter, crumpling it slightly.
I smoothed out the wrinkles and got up from bed.

I had received a letter, so naturally, I had to respond.
Honestly, the idea of watching an opera with Jacob wasn’t particularly appealing.
But if I was going to do it, I might as well make the most of it.

I could watch the opera, return his gesture of gratitude, and while I was at it…
I could take care of some other business, too.