Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 119: At The End Of The Festival… V

【139th day】

The women noticed that all three men were looking strangely apathetic and started to grill us about it.

We kept repeating, "You'll understand later."

After going through the portal, we arrived at the great skeleton floors.

We laid out a tarp near the portal we had just come through. Then started preparing breakfast.

We didn't have breakfast at the camp today because Geto-san wasn't coming. And that was not the only reason. It was because we had to kill time here anyway.

Breakfast was copious amounts of hot dogs, a hearty heap of pickles, and coffee.

Otou-san had brought some alcohol with him, but I allowed it just for today. Shuna ate a light meal then fell asleep with the longsword in his arms.

Similarly, I was lying on Rana's lap and half falling asleep as well. I tried to grope her butt, but she blocked my attempts.

「Umm, Onii-chan, are you sure it's okay to be this relaxed?」

「It's fine」

My sister questioned the three men's lackadaisical attitude.

「It's alright, Ea. When it comes to the dungeon, just leave it to this person and everything will be fine」

Rana was also looking relaxed as she stroked my hair.

It felt completely like we were having a picnic on a holiday.

Let me remind you, we are inside the dungeon. Below us are hordes of skeletal monsters. But this is fine. Yesterday, I had worked myself up too much and was made to feel terrible as a result.

In a rare turn of events, Lys also read the mood and slacked off. Using Shuna as a pillow, she went to sleep.

「What the heck is going on today?」

Ea was perplexed.

She's the younger sister who does things at her own pace but can read the mood.

「Ea, you should rest up too. It'll take about an hour. I'll wake you when it's time」

「Ehh, but……」

I beckoned her over, but she still seemed unconvinced.

Ea ended up spending the entirety of the next hour roaming around, scouting the surroundings. The other members of the party just lazed about.

I took Rana's fingers in my hand and gently bent and massaged them to loosen them up.

The rapid recovery brought about by magic is not a cure-all. When a wound is severe, the muscles can harden and become stiff, making it hard to move them for some time. It's important to take the time to massage them diligently in this way.

For a woman who punched a dragon, her fingers looked delicate and beautiful.

「Ah」

「Did that hurt a little? But bear with it, alright?」

「Okay」

One by one, I bent them gently and squeezed them to warm them up while she patted my head with her free hand.

It was physical therapy, not acting lovey-dovey. As I massaged her fingers with my face buried in her thighs, I drifted off into a blissful sleep――――――

『Beep, beep, it's time. Beep, beep, it's time』

I woke up to Yukikaze's announcement.

Everyone except Ea got up sluggishly.

「Hey, Onii-chan, is it really alright? For us to be like this today?」

「Yes, it's fine. This is fine. Just this once, this is fine」

Written in the strategy guide that I got from the Guild………

『If you wait near the entrance portal, the guardian of the floors will appear. Defeat it and a new portal will appear』

………were just those brief instructions.

It's simple, really. However, this notion is a complete blind spot for those who are seeking to descend the dungeon quickly. After all, no adventurer would dawdle around the beginning of a floor for an hour under normal circumstances. Without a combination of coincidence and sheer laziness, it's impossible to encounter this enemy.

If I recall, the subject of these floors is the mental ability to adapt to absurdity, right?

Floors that can't be cleared should you actually try to clear them. Indeed, that's just absurd. It makes me want to say, "Stop screwing with me."

Now, there's still one more problem. There's still one more absurd thing to deal with.

「Shuna, do you want to do it?」

「No way」

「What about you, Otou-san?」

「The alcohol has kicked in, so I can't」

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

To be honest, I don't want to do it either.

『FUHAHAHAHAHA』

As the three men sat there with looks of distaste plastered on their faces, high-pitched laughter rang out, which only made them look even more depressed. The women were all looking puzzled and wondering what the heck was going on.

Dust gathered and formed into the shape of a person.

Before us appeared a mummified-looking man with skin as white as bone. He wore an old robe and a pointy hat with a bent tip. Instead of a staff, he carried a small bell in his hand.

『O foolish ones who have reached this far. You who desire the forbidden at the end of your quest. I, the shadow of Wagreas, the great magician of revelry, will put you to the test』

The magician Wagreas.

I looked him up briefly yesterday and found out that he was a famous ancient magician.

In his later years, he became obsessed with strange magic, and one day, he suddenly vanished off the face of the world. And then, his shadow started to appear on this floor of this dungeon.

Rob, the great flame magician who lived in the same era as him, had these words to say about him.

『If I had to name people who are more talented than me, the first person that comes to mind is Garving. Next is Wagreas. However, they each lack one thing.

For Garving, it's gratitude to the gods.

For Wagreas, it's basic human decency. ………Common sense and conventional wisdom. Table manners. Taste in women, both good and bad. The fundamental things that make a person human. In the end, it's all about decency. Financial sense. A sense of hygiene. I'll say it again, but it's about decency. I really don't want to think of him as a magician just like me. ………Hey, delete that part. Don't record that』

Was what he said, but it had been carefully recorded and left behind.

The other records of Wagreas had been more or less the same, all of them noting his sheer lack of common sense.

We experienced a facet of that legend yesterday.

『If you want to clear my great skeleton workshop, you must kill this shadow. But can you do it, I wonder? After you've――』

Wagreas' body was enveloped in light and he transformed.

『Seen this adorable appearance!』

The mummy had transformed.

What had appeared were the long ears of a rabbit and fur that was as soft and fluffy as a stuffed animal's. Rounded arms and legs. Big eyes and a small mouth. A face as cute as a mascot character.

He had become a super-deformed[1], 3 foot tall rabbit beastkin.

However, as a native of Japan, which stands at the forefront of super-deformed characters, I have to say that he looks more like a mascot randomly slapped together by some rural local government.

『You can't. As long as you have a human heart, as long as you haven't thrown away your humanity, you can't kill something this adorable――』

Ea's arrow whizzed through the air and pierced through his skull.

Nice headshot.

『Impossible! How could you attack without any hesitation?!』

「No no no, I'm the one who wants to shout, "Impossible." How are you still alive with an arrow through your head?」

My sister has raised a very valid point. This thing is needlessly tough and won't die unless he’s been destroyed beyond recognition. We also had a hard time with that yesterday.

『That elf girl over there. How can you have no qualms about shooting such an adorable sight? Do you not have a human heart?!』

「Huh?」

Wagreas has made one very fundamental mistake.

His voice is still that of an old man's. His voice can be said to be one that grates on people's nerves. If his voice was all syrupy like the Demon King's, that might have at least stayed our hands a little.

「Umm, dear, are we supposed to defeat this thing?」

「Yes, we are. The three of us beat him to a pulp yesterday」

「Please let me handle this then」

Rana stepped forward, sending our sister, who had a disgusted look on her face, back.

She had a brand new set of equipment.

Not only had she become Gladvain-sama's kin, she had also received quite a number of equipment yesterday. With Makina's help, various modifications were made to her defensive gear.

First of all, her traditional elven white robe had been trimmed in the front, making it look like a tail skirt, to allow for easier movement. The sleeves were also cut away at the shoulders, making it sleeveless.

Her abdomen was protected by a corset-like armor made of light metal and leather. That emphasized her breasts, but trying too hard to conceal them might detract from her charm, so they were left unarmored. However, she was actually wearing Gladvain-sama's bikini armor underneath, so they were well protected.

That underwear. It has a mysterious power and actually provides relatively good protection. It also fits Rana's breasts perfectly, which has dramatically improved her athletic ability.

It appears that Rana's weirdly limited athletic ability was entirely a result of her bra not fitting her properly.

On her feet, she wore leather knee-high boots. The heels and the toes of the boots were lined with steel.

She wore her hair in a side French-braid updo, giving her a more boyish look.

A strap had been attached to her staff, which she carried on her back. Hanging from her belt were her melee weapons, the Gauntlets of Ryubel that she had received from the Guild.

Those were gauntlets in name only and were essentially brass knuckles meant for punching.

Each had a grip attached, and interlocking metal plates, much like a snake's belly, covering the fist and wrist. Fine serrations had been added on top of them.

I'd hate to imagine what it would be like to be hit by one of those and what would happen when the fist was drawn back.

What direction is the Guild President trying to steer my wife towards, I wonder.

Also.

To be perfectly honest, the front of her robe was trimmed too short, and they were definitely showing when she moved vigorously, but I convinced her that it was armor, not panties, so she wouldn't feel embarrassed.

Forcibly and with great gusto.

「Rana, don't push yourself too hard. Your hands haven’t fully healed yet」

「I know. But they should have recovered enough to punch things」

Rana had a broad smile on her face.

『Oh-ho. Booby elf, do you mean to crush my flesh and break my bones with those weapons? How can an elf do something so cruel? In every age, elves have always hated getting their hands dirty. For you and your race, who have long pursued your haughty ideals of virtue, getting your own hands dirty is――』

It sounded nothing like a fist being swung. I mistook it for a gunshot at first.

It was a no-motion straight with the full force of her hips behind it. The left foot she had stepped in with had fractured the ground, and the right fist she had thrown had caught Wagreas right in the face.

The arrow in his head shot out from the impact and stuck into a bone pillar in the distance.

Furthermore, she twisted the fist she had sunk into his face, causing the flesh to get caught on the serrations, then drew it back with a wet squelch.

『GYaaaAAAAAAAAA!』

Wagreas' scream filled the air.

His blood splattered onto Rana's cheek. Everyone in the party, including me, recoiled at the sight.

「Too shallow」

It's not shallow at all. I think that would have killed a normal enemy for sure.

Rana put her hips into another punch. She threw what looked like a seiken-tsuki[2]. Her fist went right through Wagreas' belly. She proceeded to lift his body up, swung him around casually, then slammed him into the ground.

『You darned booby elf!』

「You're not dead yet?」

Her right fist was completely red.

Perhaps she had come up with an idea, but Rana started to strike the Gauntlets of Ryubel together. Sparks flew, then flames burst forth and enveloped her fists. The blood evaporated and the flesh that had stuck to the gauntlets burned.

「Oh my, this is quite something」

Illuminated by the flames, a rapt smile appeared on Rana's face.

Oh, Lys and Ea have turned away. Shuna is trembling. Otou-san is very calmly drinking from an empty bottle.

Right this moment, it feels like a new pecking order has been established in the party.

She smashed her flaming(moe) fists into the not-moe Wagreas.[3]

Somehow, the rhythmic thump, thump, thump of her blows reminded me of mochi pounding as they echoed throughout the place.

「Ha, hahahahahaha!」

Rana burst into laughter.

She looks like she's really enjoying herself.

Was she under a lot of stress? That's probably my fault, right?

「Haa, hahahahahahahahaa!」

She was laughing heartily.

I'm glad to see that you're having fun.

『Even if I perish………the second and third me will surely reappear if you just wait an hour』

Wagreas, who had become no better than mincemeat, spoke.

It's probably a waste of energy to wonder where his voice is coming from.

「Phew, I worked up a good sweat」

Rana wiped the sweat and blood off with a refreshed look.

I’ll try not to anger her from now on. I'll strive to make her life as stress-free as possible. Otherwise, my life will surely be in grave danger.

『Now, go on ahead. Defeat your enemies, adventurers. But further ahead, you will surely encounter even more adorable enemies. Will you be able to fight them as well as you do now, I wonder? Also, I can see your panties』

「This is armor!」

Wagreas was kicked to the curb by Rana.

But he merely faded and vanished like an illusion. In his place, a portal appeared.

「Alright then, let's go everyone」

I urged everyone on with a voice that was lifeless even by my standards. Shuna was carrying the trembling Lys on his back. Ea was also looking rather pale.

Rana tilted her head as if to say, “Huh, what's wrong?”

We went through the portal and arrived at the 35th floor.

Everyone was trembling, and not just because of how cold it was.

We validated then activated the return portal and successfully made our way back. Our party had just become intermediate adventurers.

『………………』

「?」

But the atmosphere was so heavy that it was hard to be happy about it.

To be precise, everyone but Rana was in a somber mood. In a lot of ways, Rana seemed refreshed. She looked like she had just finished an invigorating workout. Like she had just achieved a new personal best in long-distance running. She had that kind of satisfied look on her face.

This is so weird.

Yesterday, because I couldn't scream in anger, "What the heck is up with that enemy?! Are you kidding me?! What was all our hard work for?!" I was left with unspeakable feelings in my heart. And now that everything is over, I’m left trembling and wondering, "What the heck is up with Rana?!"

「Well, umm, let's go celebrate」

My suggestion……

「Oh, I……I've got stuff to do today. Lys probably does as well」

……was refused by Shuna. Lys desperately nodded her agreement.

「Yeahhh, I'm sorry. I just remembered that I had stuff to do too. That I need to do right away」

Otou-san also left.

As he left……

（Hey, you know what to do, right?! Put her in a good mood! I'm begging you!）

……he made a point of reminding me.

I know. I'll do my best to please her. I'll do my damnedest.

「Onee-chan, your staff is heavy, right? I'll carry it for you. When we get home, I'll make the sweet curry that you like so much. I'm sorry, I……I've been so selfish up until now. I'll try to not be selfish anymore. I’ll be more patient from now on! This is my way of thanking you for all the troubles I've put you through, sob sob」

「Huh? Huh?」

Ea had already started currying favor with Rana.

In conclusion,

It was neither the dungeon nor the dragon that scared me the most, but my wife.

And then, she would spark a martial arts boom among the female adventurers that would turn into a major event, but that's a story for another time.

＜End＞

[1] I’m keeping the exact term used by the author, but people outside of Japan know “super-deformed or SD” more as “chibi”, where the characters are short, and have stubby limbs and over-sized heads. (Example of chibi Wikipe-tan courtesy of wikipedia)

[2] Seiken-Tsuki (正拳突き) is essentially a straight without a step-in, though you can twist your hips for more power, and hitting with the first two knuckles of the fist. It’s the most basic punch taught in karate and aikido, but strangely enough, a technique called seiken-tsuki technically, and I mean technically, doesn’t exist. It’s actually 3 techniques, seiken-jodan-tsuki, where the punch is delivered at an upwards angle(towards the opponent’s face), seiken-chudan-tsuki, where the punch is delivered level(towards the opponent’s chest), and seiken-gedan-tsuki, where the punch is delivered at a downwards angle(towards the opponent’s stomach). And because it is a compound word like that, it isn’t pronounced as “tsuki” in full, but as “zuki”. But to be frank, no one is going to get technical and complain about anyone using “seiken-tsuki” unless they’re a karate nerd or something.

[3] Here’s a joke that got lost in translation unfortunately. “Moe” is pronounced the same as “flaming”, so the joke was that she was smashing her moe fists into the not-moe Wagreas.

Well, who else wishes that there’s an illustration of this Rana? Mini-spoilers, but she won’t be the only one who goes through such costume changes. But yeah, in D&D terms, this warlock just took levels in monk. And it’s armor, not panties, so it’s okay even if others see them. Oh, I’m dying here.

Wagreas. What can I say about this character lol. There's actually a very short but funny side-story I had gotten from elsewhere that he's a bit involved in. Since it's not actually part of the WN, I've left it as an exclusive chapter for my patrons, so do consider supporting me if you are interested. In addition, the “revelry” in his moniker is also the same as the “revelry” in the “rabbit of revelry” from vol 3. And yes, he is absurdity incarnate. Until you realize that amid all the ridiculous stuff, there’s something really vital revealed in this chapter…though, as usual, identifying it is quite an impossible task at this point… At what point does this particular foreshadowing pay off you ask? Vol 13. Truly, I’m in awe of this author’s ability to plan plot-lines.

And we’ve come to the end of another volume! Last one had a bit of a hopeful ending, and this one has a funny, happy ending. Things have really been looking up for Souya, haven’t they? 139 days and he’s beaten a dragon(sorta) and made it to the 35th floor already. Only 21 more floors to go. Thing are really looking up, right? Right?

With that, see you next volume!