Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 115: At The End Of The Festival… I

Barfuru-sama, Frey, Lazarissa, and Rutsuko-san had gone back to Gladvain-sama's dormitory ahead of us. When we got there, we saw that they were already celebrating in the dining hall.

The celebration was pretty much in full swing.

「Oh, welcome back!」

My sister ran up to us.

I was carrying Rana on my back. As usual, there was a blissful sensation on my back.

「Onee-chan, Onii-chan, you guys were amazing」

「Rana-san, that was awesome! You were super cool!」

Perhaps Rana was embarrassed by our sister and Shuna's impressions, but she buried her face in my shoulder.

「Or rather, you guys are covered in blood. Are you okay?」

Like my sister said, my poncho and Rana's robe were completely red.

「Don't worry. It's all the enemy's blood」

I’ve always wanted to say that line at least once in my life.

My dream has come true.

「Dear, look at my robe. Will it wash off, I wonder?」

「I have no idea. Just ask Makina to see if she can wash it off」

「Now now, those are clothes dyed with dragon blood. You should wear them as a badge of honor for having hunted a dragon」

One of the kin said to us.

It was the older beastkin who I had tussled with in the past.

「But it smells of blood and it's unsanitary」

「Don't worry, dragon blood has such a strong purification ability that it's used in purification medicines. It's as sanitary as if it had been roasted over a fire. Speaking of fire, we'll be heating things up tonight by sharing stories of our heroics, so it's going to get――」

The older man was knocked down from behind by god.

He face-planted into the ground.

「No more of that trivial stuff」

Gladvain-sama had shown up. She spread her arms and wrapped Rana and me in a hug.

「Well done! Especially you, Rana! You’re probably the only woman other than me who has ever downed a dragon with a punch! And you're a magician to boot! That extraordinary martial prowess that you showed! You’re worthy of being one of my kin!」

Eh, could it be?

「How about it? Rauaryuna?Raua?Heures. Would you like to follow the path of the warrior as one of my kin?」

「Sorry, no thank you」

「………………」

Rana answered, probably with a smile.

Gladvain-sama froze with the smile still on her face. All of the kin, who had been in an uproar, fell silent all at once.

The amicable mood had completely vanished.

「Gladvain-sama, I'm very honored to be offered this opportunity. However, I have many paths that I must pursue. In addition to magic, there's the path of being a good wife. I need to learn how to clean, do laundry, please my husband, and in particular, how to cook――」

At that moment, a chill ran down my spine.

I must do everything in my power to stop this.

「Rana. Please form a…… No, I want you to form a contract with Gladvain-sama」

「Eh?」

I changed my tone to a commanding one that would brook no argument.

I have no intention of letting her fight as a vanguard, but it doesn't hurt for her to have more ways of protecting herself. Or at least, that's the pretext for it.

「As your husband, your party leader, and a fellow adventurer, I strongly urge you to become Gladvain-sama's kin. I want you to gain mastery over martial arts. This is your chance to show your father that he was wrong. Please, I'll do anything you ask later, so just form a contract. ………Please」

「If you're so adamant about it, dear, then alright」

（But you'll have to teach me how to cook, okay?）

She whispered into my ear.

Ah, in the end……

The time has come for us to fight that thing again, huh? It'll be a test of our current party's strength, I suppose.

「I apologize, Gladvain-sama. I will accept your offer」

「Good!」

Gladvain-sama stole Rana away from me.

The god held Rana in her arms like a princess and got on top of a table. She declared to the rest of the kin.

「Listen up! My kin! Today, I have welcomed this girl as a new kin! You have all witnessed her valor earlier! I trust that there are no objections!」

『Yeah!』

They all let out a rousing cheer.

「Well then, Rauaryuna?Raua?Heures! You are hereby recognized as one of my kin. Come, to the new dragon hunters and our new kin, let's drink and sing all night long! Praise be to the warriors!」

「The fighting elf! Little Gladvain!」

「Praise her father, Melm, the solitary sword!」

「To the new martial artist from the path of magic!」

「To the new dragon hunters!」

「Our sister that follows our martial creed――」

All of the kin around the table raised their bottles of alcohol.

『Glory upon her!』

After showering Rana with praise, the kin downed their drinks.

Today did feel like a good day to drink. Barfuru-sama was also drinking like a fish.

Shuna was fiddling with Otou-san's shield enviously.

Lys was shoveling food into her mouth until her cheeks were puffed out like a squirrel.

However, Gladvain-sama. You're the very image of a matriarch doting on her daughter or granddaughter, so please keep the nepotism to a level where it isn’t too obvious.

Anyway, I left Rana with her and went to the problem, Frey.

In a stroke of good luck, that oba-san was with her for some reason.

「The third son of a noble! Wow~, you guys showed me something really interesting. I guess there are always things to see, even out here in the sticks」

The oba-san slapped me on the back repeatedly.

「So, the thing about me and Frey getting married……」

「Haaa～」

Frey let out a huge sigh.

Hey you, I don't like it either, you know?

「Yeah, let's just cancel that」

「Eh?」

Surprisingly, she backed out of it without any trouble.

「It's one thing to snatch a man away from some lowly woman, but even a Gastolfo would stand little chance against a woman who can punch out a dragon. It would ruin the reputation of the Braves to lose a battle over a man. We'll bow out this time」

「Aunt-sama! In that case!」

Frey beamed with delight.

Is that so? You hated getting married to me so much, huh? I don't particularly like her all that much, but when I was dumped, I did suffer a very subtle blow. It's a really subtle one though.

「That's right, Frey. As planned, I'll move forward with your marriage to that merchant family's sixth son」

「NOOOooooooo!」

Right. I guess that's only natural.

Frey was dragged out of the dining hall by the oba-san.

「So long, Souya-sama」

Lazarissa bowed her head to me.

「This is where we say goodbye. Even though it was only against Lord White-Scale, that was still an astounding fight. However, that won't be the case for the other dragons. Among them――」

Behind me, the loudest cheer of the night erupted.

The reception they were giving the dragon hunters appeared to be very enthusiastic.

Perhaps annoyed by the racket they were making, Lazarissa glanced away from me...…

「You glory-hungry insects」

For an instant.

With a look of intense revulsion, she glared at Gladvain-sama and her kin.

I was the only one who noticed. Her killing intent felt like a very fine blade. I sensed an enormous presence within her shadow. Every hair on my body stood on end, and I nearly drew my katana on reflex.

「Fufu」

With a twisted expression, she hugged me forcefully. Tightly, as if to say that she would break my spine if I resisted. She twined her fingers with those that I had tightly grasped around the hilt of my katana.

To the casual observer, this would look like a simple gesture of farewell, but……

「Don’t get too full of yourself, human」

……those words were whispered into my ear.

「I have only ever struggled desperately」

「Is that so? ………It's people like that who are all the more displeasing to me」

After all this time, I finally noticed the downward growing horns inside her twin tails.

This woman, has she been playing us the entire time?

「All you people did was play with a young dragon who's fond of humans. Despite that, you're making such a big fuss about it. This is beyond ridiculous」

「What are you going to do about it then?」

「What do you think? There’s no need for me to go out of my way to put fools who will only perish through their own stupidity out of their misery. ………………So long, Souya-sama」

Once she ended the hug, she was back to her usual self.

「I wish you continued success and strength」

「All the best to you too」

「Well, that'll depend entirely on Ojou-sama」

Lazarissa turned away and went after Frey and the oba-san.

「Oh」

I had forgotten to give them their share of the diamonds―――――I searched my pockets, but they were gone.

Once she was out of the dining hall, Lazarissa began playing with the diamonds that were meant for all of them.

「………………」

That's fine. I'll consider it a loan for now.

One that comes with interest.

「The next round of dishes are here~」

Rutsuko-san passed right by me as she entered the dining hall.

「Whoa, that's amazing」

I blurted that out loud.

From her hands to her shoulders, there were plates, plates, plates, and more plates. There were eight plates in total, each heaped high with food. It was quite a display of skill. If she worked as a waitress, she would likely become invaluable quickly.

By the way, the food was……

「Na――」

I almost forgot my own backstory and said its name out loud.

It was Napolitan. When I started selling ketchup, I also popularized this dish.

It's a Japanese dish that infuriates people from a specific country.

「This is a dish from my homeland called Napolitan. I heard that it was spread throughout Lemuria by the same mysterious person who made the ketchup. It's strange how things happen, isn't it? Oh, and Maria is the one who cooked this」

「Are you serious?!」

I was shocked.

Can that girl, with her terrible sense of taste, even cook properly?

「That's right, I made it. Now eat it gratefully」

Maria emerged from behind Rutsuko-san. She was holding two plates and offered one to me.

The pasta was as red as blood.

Powdered cheese had been sprinkled generously over it. The ingredients included onions, green peppers, and bacon-like………even here, spam rears its ugly head. Why bother putting this in at all? Couldn't you have just used bacon?

「Souya-san, please have a bite」

「Oh, right」

Rutsuko-san was urging me to try it. Maria was waiting anxiously to hear my impressions of it.

I twirled a generous amount of pasta around a fork, then put it into my mouth. The sweetness of the ketchup and the richness of the cheese came together well with the chewiness of the overcooked pasta. I could feel the crispness of the vegetables and the texture of the spam was similar to the pasta's. The more I chewed, the more its saltiness spread, giving the dish just the right amount of saltiness.

It’s delicious.

「Hey, this is delicious」

「Of course! I stir-fried the ketchup over the fire for a long time. Umm, when I do that, it becomes delicious for some reason!」

Said a smug Maria.

Ah, I see. She boiled away the acidity of the ketchup, huh? And that made it sweeter as a result. It's simple when I think about it, but that's what cooking delicious food is all about.

「Yup, it's delicious. Great job, Maria」

「Mmm-hmm~. I'll go get Rana to try it too!」

Holding the plate above her head, Maria ran over to Rana. I looked on in concern, afraid that she might fall.

「Umm, Rutsuko-san, about that thing……」

「Err, yes?」

The ravenous beasts were eyeing the food she was holding, but I needed to talk to her first.

「I'm talking about the date」

「I'm sorry, Souya-san. Could we please put that on hold for now?」

「On hold?」

「This battle with the dragon has helped me know my place. I’ve realized that as an adventurer, one needs to have strength, even if it's just to ask someone out on a date」

「Hmm?」

That's not true, you know?

「I did track and field in my original world. Since coming to this world, I haven't skipped a single morning run. To go along with that, I'll add sit-ups, push-ups, repeated lateral jumps, and shadow boxing to my training menu. Souya-san, please go on a date with me when I've defeated Rana-san!」

「Oh, okay」

「I'll do my best!」

I think it's probably impossible, but good luck. People grow by challenging themselves.

Gladvain-sama was feeding Rana the Napolitan. The area around Rana's mouth was bright red.

The rest of the kin looked on enviously.

「Thanks for waiting. Here's more fo――」

Right then, Rutsuko-san arrived.

「Kyaa!」

It was like she was attacked by a pack of wolves. Food was snatched from her from every direction.

「They're like beasts, aren't they?」

「Yeah」

The revived Gunmerry had come up beside me.

There were two of them, both small in size.

Since I had nothing to say to these guys, or rather, it was hard to tell whether they could actually understand me, I ate my food standing up and in silence. Maria's Napolitan tasted delicious. Even after discounting a guardian's bias, it was still delicious.

The fact that I was hungry also helped, and I cleaned the plate in no time.

Maria, I hope she takes this opportunity to learn how to cook other dishes as well.

I believe that cooking is great for building character in children. After all, I did turn out a little bit for the better because of it.

If there's a problem, it's Rana's struggle with it, I suppose. That's the one thing no amount of my knowledge can help with.

「Please give me the plate and fork. I'll use them to repair the damage」

I handed one of the Gunmerrys the empty plate and the fork. He broke the plate in half, then dropped them into his helmet.

Honestly, these guys are the biggest enigma of them all.

「You guys, what have you got inside of you?」

I tapped his helmet with the tip of my finger.

It gave off a soft, hollow sound.

「Humans, what do they have inside them?」

I was asked in return.

「Well, stuff like brains, organs……」

「And is something a human as long as it has those inside it?」

「I guess not」

The human brain is just a lump of fat and protein. That’s not much different from the Napolitan I just ate. If I were to be asked if that was human, well, I could hardly say yes.

And who really knows if things like the soul and the spirit exist at all?

Or have we misconstrued things that don't actually exist and have made them up?

「We are made up of boundless souls and the hearts of young girls. We were created to possess infinite potential in order to kill a finite number of enemies. However, just because we were born as weapons, it would be sad if we lived on forever as weapons. That is why we, myself and others, dream of festive days filled with joy and laughter. That is the wish of us, Guns Memory, or as we call ourselves, Gunmerrys」

So they aren't just some absurd creatures that make no sense, huh? Or have I merely misconstrued them as such? In this world, truth is one of the most insignificant things.

「I'll offer you just one piece of advice」

The Gunmerrys, now three in number, all glared at me.

『If you mess around with women too much, myselves will stop being "funny"』

「It's not like I'm messing around with an indeterminately large number of women」

「You philanderer, you boobies-lover, Kyaaa! Get turned into a woman~!」

「You lolicon, mothercon, and siscon!」

「Could it be that as long as they're cute, you're okay with traps too?」

「No, I’m not」

I, I’m not.

I’m not, alright!

「Sexuality, sexuality?」

「Libido, libido?」

「Are you up~!? So, are you~!?」

The Gunmerrys sang while going round in circles around me.

Shut up.

Or rather, could it be that they have grown attached to me? Come on, give me a break. I don't want to be mixed up with any more weirdos than I already am.

「Good grief」

Everywhere I turned, there were commotion and cheering.

The banquet was in full swing.

In this way, the night wore on.

Yeah, I avoided talking about Lazarissa last chapter, and now you know why. Is she a beastkin? (reminder: beastkin aren’t “human” in this world) Is she a dragonborn or something? Or……? I’ll leave that to your imagination……

Souya sure got out of his promises really easily, huh? I bet a lot of you were expecting that they were going to be trouble for him. Well, it’s this author, things never truly turn out the way one expects.

Yeah, the impact of Gunmerry’s reveal is a bit softened after translation. Remember that all the Japanese readers would have seen is a collection of sounds forming a name with no seeming meaning in a story with a lot of names like that. In English, the fact that his name is comprised of “gun” and “merry” is pretty obvious to us, isn’t it? And I hope you understand my pain when I figured out that the author meant for the plural of Gun Memory/Merry to be Guns Memory/Merry(as usual, it’s only revealed in this chapter that this is the case, the plural form had never been used before this), but I couldn’t use that as it was already obvious enough as it is and that would totally give it away at the start so I used “Gunmerrys” as the plural. That did make the end of a reveal a bit weird though.

By the way, there are 5 parts to this arc. There’s a lot of stuff still to come, huh? Stay tuned!