Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 102: The King Of The Little Ones III & IV

<The King Of The Little Ones III>

「Solcia, you're a really weak drinker, so take it easy with the drinking, alright?」

「Then I’ll have the weakest and most expensive one. Put it on the, hic, Horns' tab」

「Give us expensive stuff that has been watered down」

Lanseal had gone back to the castle with the king in that state. She had looked very sleepy. It was past the time children went to bed, so it couldn't be helped.

As for me, I had gone to a bar with the Guild President.

Lanseal had told us to drink away our grudges.

We were at my regular bar, the Raging Bull and Silver Fox bar. It was a bar managed by the Kingdom of Lemuria.

I was seated at a counter seat, drinking cheap alcohol with the Guild President, who was smashed.

After what had happened, I couldn’t blame him.

But isn't he too weak with alcohol? To think that he would be dead drunk after only a mug or two of ale.

「I tried my best in my own way too~. If not for our respective circumstances, I would have done everything in my power to get the princess, even if it meant snatching her~」

「Yeah yeah」

Like a flashback, Lanseal's words came to mind.

『When it comes to being scheming, you two are so alike!』

She had said.

Though that's not true, my feelings were deeply hurt.

I would never do things like getting drunk and involving myself with a guy who slept with the person whom I loved but couldn't be with. I think.

「Why~, oh why~, is she with this kind, this kind! This kind of person!」

My shoulder was getting peppered with weak punches.

They don't hurt, but we've been subtly drawing a lot of attention for a while now.

Well, he's the President of the Adventurers' Guild after all.

His looks are what they are, so many people remember what he looks like.

It feels like strange rumors are going to be spread about this.

Jeez, I'm starting to get tired of even thinking about it.

「Master, I'll have another as well」

「Got it. You're in a rare drinking mood tonight」

A new mug was placed in front of me. The ale here was less carbonated, so it was possible to down it in one gulp.

I gulped it down.

After a strong bitterness, I could taste a fruity flavor and sweetness in my mouth. As it went down my throat, the bitterness turned into a pleasant and refreshing sensation. I came to the realization that alcohol drunk after going through something like that tasted better.

I have no desire to drink to the point of addiction, but I understand a little better the feelings of a person who does.

Once again, I’ve grown a little.

「Princess~! Princess~!」

But what should I do with the drunk guy next to me, I wonder?

Can someone please tell me?

【118th day】

Carrying a dead drunk Guild President on my back and not knowing where he lived, I went to the store owned by his foster father………………Oh.

「I see, so that's what happened」

「Yes, that's what happened-nya」

When I woke up, I found myself lying naked on a big bed.

To my right was a blonde cat beastkin dressed in sheer silk.

To my left was the Guild President, who was in the arms of a baby-faced, big-breasted woman.

I could imagine what had occurred.

「Tyutyu, by any chance, did I……」

「Thank you for using our services-nya」

She had a big smile on her face as she trailed her fingertips over my chest.

On her flushed cheeks was a look of satisfaction.

I see.

This is how men grow up, isn't it, King Lemuria?

The moment I came to that understanding, I passed out.

When morning came, the Guild President was nowhere to be seen.

I had a horrible hangover. It felt as if every cell in my body had been corroded.

I decided then to never drink again.

After borrowing the brothel’s bath, I cleaned up in a lot of ways. However, I couldn't seem to wash away the headache and the inconvenient truth.

I declined Tyutyu's company, as it felt like that might be putting the cart before the horse.

It at least helps that I have no memory of what happened, but doing anything more would leave me with no excuse.

Well, I do feel like what I’ve done is already inexcusable though.

I was about to leave when I was caught by Otou-san and made to prepare breakfast.

By randomly combining ingredients that I found in the kitchen, I made pasta.

I didn't do it consciously, but I ended up making the prostitute pasta[1] I had seen in an old manga.

It was fairly well-received, and it seemed that they were going to add it to the brothel's refreshments menu.

I gave the recipe to the proprietress, paid Tyutyu, and then fled out the back door while the prostitutes were preoccupied with the pasta.

My destination was the Adventurers' Guild.

On the way, I contacted Makina to explain what had happened last night.

『Makina has already been informed by Yukikaze-chan. Please submit the receipt later, alright?』

「O, okay」

The bars and brothels on this side don’t have the practice of issuing receipts though.

Or rather, I can expense this? Well, Makina is the one in charge of our finances, so……

「To Rana and the others………………What did you say?」

『Makina said that Souya-san went out drinking with a guy. There's no helping it for men, right? This kind of drinking session after work is also a part of maintaining business relationships, isn’t it? As for what happened after………Makina is just a child, so Makina doesn't know anything』

「I'll explain in detail later. Just don't say anything weird to Rana and the others」

『What do you mean by weird?』

Her question was both bald-faced and sarcastic.

「I'm talking about the stuff that happens between adults[2]」

『Hmpt~』

Communications was cut off one-sidedly

Recently, Makina's favorability points have only been dropping. Though she doesn't have it in her to rebel, she just might run away from home.

It feels like it would be a huge hassle if the A.I. ran away or something like that.

It's not the first time I'm thinking this, but why do I run into so much trouble and concerns that aren't related to the dungeon?

Even though all I want to do is explore the dungeon……

I took a short trip down memory lane while walking.

「………………Fuu」

For myself and the others, there are many things that come to mind.

Hmm, well, I guess I got what I deserved.

There’s no use lamenting over the past now though.

I stopped my reminiscing.

Since there was nothing just thinking about it would accomplish.

And then,

I arrived at the Adventurers' Guild.

It was early in the morning, so there weren't many Guild employees or adventurers there. I looked around――and quickly found who I was looking for. He came to me by himself.

「Hey, Souya」

The Guild President seemed to be even more hungover than I was.

His white complexion was absolutely ghastly. His legs were also trembling.

「This is the last request. Once you complete this, urgh――」

The Guild President covered his mouth with a handkerchief.

Are you going to throw up? Hey, are you going to throw up? Should I get you a bucket?

「――Once you complete this, you’re free to explore the dungeon again」

He held it back.

I took the scroll from him and unrolled it.

The request was to "forget all about the unsightly behavior showed by Solcia, the Guild President of the Adventurers' Guild, last night.”

「Understood」

「Sign it」

「Alright」

I scrawled my signature in the appropriate blank space with a ballpoint pen.

「Here」

Five gold coins were pressed firmly into my hand.

I wordlessly pocketed them.

「I'm sure you understand, but if you ever speak of it to anyone, I’ll place all sorts of curses on you」

「Yeah yeah」

I would never do something so tasteless.

They won't work on me too, by the way, curses.

「Lastly, hand over the elixir that reverses the effects. The Guild will hold onto it」

「That's fine, but won't it be needed to turn Lanseal back to normal?」

「That's exactly the point. This morning, I received a secret order from the king, saying, "The current Lanseal is like a grandchild, so it's not bad. I'd prefer that she stays like this for a while"」

My king……… Is that really alright?

I'm pretty certain that he's just scared of what will happen if the current Lanseal goes back to being a grown-up.

「Hand it over」

「Alright alright」

It was a royal order, so I gave the Guild President the elixir.

She'll turn back to normal in time, so that elixir isn't really needed, but I'll leave the rest to the king. If something were to happen, I can just ask them to make another bottle.

Speaking of which,

「By the way, Guild President, do you know about the Gunmerrys? I have a feeling that they're pretty dangerous」

「I know about them. They're certainly dangerous, but they're needed in case this city faces a certain crisis」

I can't imagine a situation where those guys would be needed though.

「In folklore, there's a large spider that was defeated by Heures and Lumidia, right?」

「Yeah, the one that got lumped in with Lola」

It's a case where two enemies became one as a result of attempts to erase a number of inconvenient truths.

「Lola was the one who revived it. That means that before that, the large spider had been defeated by somebody. According to ancient writings, that was done by a large army of little beings. In all likelihood, that was the Gunmerrys」

「………………hmmm」

That only deepened the mystery surrounding them.

「The large spider multiplies by infesting living things parasitically. For that reason, what better to oppose them than doll-like weapons of unknown origin that were possibly created by an ancient civilization. They appear to be in this world, but they are not. They look like living things, but they're like mists. Immortal little beings who dwell in the consciousness and dreams of the human they're contracted with」

「I see」

I don't get it.

I do feel that they sound kind of awesome though.

「Because the method by which Lola revived the large spider is unknown, there's a need to stay on guard against it. The Gunmerrys are one of the ways of combating it. Besides, they're pretty good adventurers, in spite of themselves, and the problems they cause are nothing more serious than being too boisterous」

「That does make sense」

Even if the large spider were to be revived, we have the fog magic that Rana recreated.

I've lost Lumidia's grace, but my sister is an archer on par with her.

There are plenty of ways for us to fight it.

There are plenty, but it never hurts to have more.

「Now, you're free to explore the dungeon and do as you plea………………urgh」

Unable to keep his vomit down, the Guild President ran off.

It was a scene that ruined his beautiful boy image.

Even without me speaking of what I know, I'm sure that quite a lot of people saw his unsightly behavior, so he better not blame it on me.

「Take care~」

I called out to the Guild President's back as he disappeared from sight.

With this, the last request has been completed.

Now, let's explore the dungeon.

<The King Of The Little Ones IV>

Upon my return, Makina offered me a cup.

I took it from the pod's arm and looked inside.

In the cup was a black-ish liquid that looked like ale. It was carbonated and had a slight medicinal smell.

「What's this?」

『Makina managed to improve the taste of the elixir to the point where it's delicious. The only problem is that all the magical effects of the elixir have disappeared. In other words, it's just a normal beverage』

「It's pointless then, isn't it?」

『Maria-sama liked it very much though』

Well then, I'll just take a sip.

「………………Hmm?」

Its strong carbonation offset its sweetness. Amidst its unique medicinal flavor, I detected a sourness similar to that of prunes. I couldn't quite make out what the other subtle flavors were as it was a mixture of many different things.

If I had to describe it, I would say that it tasted like children's cold syrup mixed with cola.

「Uhh, isn't this Dr Pepper?」

It's a mysterious drink with over a hundred years of history.

There are many mixed opinions about its taste though.

This is just my own opinion, but………it's not a beverage, but a kind of drug. What's more, drinking it is detrimental to one's health. Normal people instinctively find its smell and taste hard to accept.

『What if Dr Pepper is something that came from the alternate world?』

「S, say what?」

Certainly, I've heard that there are some mysteries regarding its formulation, but………hmm.

「No way」

『No way, indeed』

Yukikaze also agreed with me.

『Ehh, it's delicious though』

Makina snatched the cup from me, extended her straw, then drank it noisily.

「Hey, are you sure it's safe to drink something with so many foreign substances in it?」

『It doesn't affect my functionalities. Besides, Makina already drank lots while taste-testing it』

I hope this doesn't become a big problem later on.

It worries me.

「What about everyone else?」

『Geto-sama gave us some more fish today. Makina has filleted and salted them. Misuranika-sama, Ea-sama, and Maria-sama stayed up too late last night and are still sleeping. They are sleeping so soundly that it's like they're under magic of some sort. Makina is guessing that they probably won't wake up before noon. Oh, Makina and Yukikaze-chan are also going to start our weekly optimization process, so we'll be entering a dormant state for about six hours. That's all』

There's more stuff than usual today.

『Yukikaze is still fine though』

『Enter the dormant state. That's an order』

『Understood, entering the dormant state』

That being the case, I unhooked Yukikaze and placed her on top of Makina's head.

『Good night』

『Good night, indeed』

「Alright, good night」

The two of them went into sleep mode, leaving the minimum level of surveillance in place.

「Oh」

What about Rana?

Shouldn't that have been the first thing Makina reported?

「I'll guess I'll go see for myself」

I muttered to myself, suddenly feeling lonely.

Rolling up the entrance to my tent, I went inside. I caught sight of the back of Rana, who was lying down.

「I'm back. Were you sleeping?」

「Ah………………No」

The tone of her voice sounded off.

I don't get the feeling that she's angry. Well, no matter what I did, she has only gotten angry in an adorable way so far. It makes me want to bully her just to see that.

It makes the elementary school kid in me clamor to hassle the cute girl.

「Hey, dear……」

She rolled over into a different posture.

The shape of her large breasts changed under the influence of gravity.

Reflexively, I went down on one knee to get closer.

「Hmm?」

My knee had hit something.

It was an empty bottle of honey.

「Rana, you've been eating far too much honey. It's bad for your health, you know?」

「Hey……」

She stretched out one leg, placed it on my shoulder, and used her heel to gently pull me closer.

「!?」

The sight before me was too much for my brain to process.

This isn't the kind of thing she would normally do. Dear wife, you're opening your legs so boldly.

「Mhm, hmm」

With her one leg still hooked around me, I pressed my lips to hers as she drew closer.

The tongue entangling with mine was sweet.

It tasted like honey.

「Rana, what's going on with you?」

「Nothing, I'm the same as always」

Her eyes had become heart-shaped, or at least, that was what it looked like to me.

Aggressively, Rana locked her lips with mine

There was no reason for me to resist.

As if devouring each other, we play-bit each other sweetly. Our breaths were becoming heated. And it wasn't just our breaths that were getting inflamed, but her and me as well.

From the morning, I'll be getting a good………………this is bad.

「Rana, calm down for a second. If we continue this, everyone is going to――」

「It'll be fine. Using magic, I summoned a sleep demon. They absolutely won't wake up until well past noon」

All hail the awesomeness and convenience of magic.

I grabbed the hem of her robe……

「Wait, dear」

……but she rejected me softly. That was what I thought, but then she used the leg on my shoulder to forcefully push me down.

Rana straddled me.

This is certainly wonderful, but what's going on with her today? She's being so bold.

「Please let me take care of everything. You don't have to do anything――――――No」

She placed both hands on my shoulders. Her piercing eyes were like those of a wild beast, the limbs entwined around me were as strong as a serpent, and her sweet breath smelled like honey.

Cradling my head, she whispered.

「To the point where you lose your breath, indulge in me」

I was set upon by a beast.

I only found this out later, but――

Though it varies from person to person, honey has an aphrodisiac-like effect on adult elves, and that’s one of the reasons why this race came to live in forests.

For a long-lived race that has difficulty bearing children, places where they can do the deed with abandon are considered sacred, and my wife's god, the deer god Ezusu, is said to have attained godhood by protecting the elves' dwellings, as well as closing his eyes to and keeping secret that race's long history of "lasciviousness".

Having taken an elf as my wife, it was only a matter of time before I would be exposed to some facet of this, but I got to experience an elf who had gotten serious.

It was a priceless and wonderful experience.

While it was a lewd dream, it was also a sweet one.

However,

But,

Because I had been left completely drained, I'll be taking a break from the adventuring business today and tomorrow.

[1] Souya is talking about Spaghetti alla Puttanesca, which is typically made with tomatoes, olive oil, olives, capers, and garlic. The story was that Sandro Petti, the purported inventor of this dish, had a group of customers come very near closing time and said, “Facci una puttanata qualsiasi(throw together whatever)”, and having only the above ingredients, that’s what he threw together for them. However, due to "puttanata" being a word derived from “puttana”, which means "whore" or "prostitute", it has generated the theory that the dish was invented in one of many brothels in Quartieri Spagnoli.

[2] The term he uses in this context implies he’s talking about sex.

Souya has been hanging Tyutyu out to dry for a really long time, but he’s finally done it. By the way, in a very clear example of how the “unreliable narrator” style the author uses works, Souya is feeling very guilty that he cheated, but not once was he able to actually put that down in words and kept skirting around it endlessly.

I don’t need to give an explanation for Dr Pepper, do I? I found it funny that the author went there tho. For all we know, Coca-Cola and Dr Pepper may be technological singularities from another world! XD

So yeah, not only did the elves in this world live in forests because there’s honey there, but also because their “wild nights” would be hidden from the eyes of others……This is certainly an interesting departure from the traditional tropes of elves, isn’t it? Still, the reason why Ezusu attained godhood……I have no words. XD

It does seem as if the thing with the Gunmerrys has been wrapped up, but considering the title of this arc, is there more? Don’t miss the last chapter of this arc and volume!