Chapter 171: Alone
They ended up talking until a very late hour and by the time they got back to their room all everyone wanted to do was to sleep.
Fortunately they didn't really need to do anything tomorrow, so they could sleep for as long as they wanted – and yet Calen woke up with the rising sun anyway.
When they were at the second temple with Tharion he told himself that he woke up early due to the unusually short memory snippet, but now he realised it wasn't true.
It was his body, it was starting to need less and less sleep; whether it was a result of becoming a spirit or the body enhancing elixirs, rest was slowly becoming an optional luxury rather than a necessity.
He was fairly certain he could easily stay awake for several days without any negative consequences. Others might see this as a boon, but he hoped that he would retain the ability to sleep even when he wouldn't technically need to.
Eternity would be even longer if he had to experience all of it.
Since his companions wouldn't wake up for the next few hours he had to find something to occupy himself.
He thought about going to the training room and work on his powers, bit he quickly discarded the idea – he spent the last week working on adjusting his physical strength and reflexes, while training with the flame in confined spaces wasn't really feasible at this point.
Calen could technically work on the more sophisticated control of his powers and learn to use the divine power for as many things as Sylara did, but he had no idea where to start when it came to that.
He decided to go on a walk to maybe come up with something else to do – at the very least he wouldn't be sitting on his bed for several hours.
It has been some time since he woke up in this strange world and he started noticing some things about its state.
For one despite the strange state of the sun and the lack of seasons the length of the day was actually still shifting. Based on his observations the current time of sunrise would match that of late spring – which would mean they woke up around the same time of the year as they got frozen in the stasis.
Due to the fact that it was so early both the fortress and the surrounding streets were almost completely empty, save for a few sleepy guards desperately trying to stay awake until their shift ends.
"Can't sleep?"
Sylara was standing by one of the large windows overlooking the entire city, small smile on her face.
Calen nodded and came to stand next to her, also observing the city slowly coming to life.
"Is it a matter of the spirit or the body?" He asked.
"Both, but mostly the spirit – it will only get worse as you ascend in power."
"...how do you live with it? Being forced to be alone for half of your life seems like a really nasty side effect."
"I don't." She chuckled. "It takes some practice, but you can learn how to sleep like a normal person. I only stay up whenever I have something very important to do."
"That's... good." Calen stared thoughtfully at the slumbering settlement.
There was a moment of silence before Sykara spoke in a quiet and soft voice.
"Tharion scared you with his talk about loneliness, didn't he?"
"Did he tell you?"
"No, it's written all over your face." She leaned over the window seal. "You know, he came to me with the same speech, right before I inherited the position of a Guardian. I remember having a huge dilemma about it, it's difficult to disregard someone with so much experience after all."
"So what convinced to take this position anyway?"
"It was my master – she told me that a Guardian is only as lonely as they decide to be, and based on my life so far I'm inclined to say she was correct." Sylara turned her head to Calen. "I might be not as experienced as Tharion with my meager lifespan of little over fifteen centuries, but I feel obliged to share my perspective on the issue as well, if you're willing to hear me out that is."
Calen gave a small nod but stayed silent.
"There are two approaches you can take when dealing with people who don't share our strange immortality – either do your best to ensure those close to you don't die or accept that they eventually will and it's okay."
"Those don't really seem like solutions, extending someone's lifespan indefinitely isn't something achievable even for most archmages."
"I think you might be forgetting what we are – Guardians are pseudo-gods, something like this would be trivial for us."
"...and yet you don't do that." He pointed out.
"I don't – perhaps it is because I'm connected to the Nature domain but for me death is just a natural part of life, and there's no point in forcefully extending it. Those who are meant to die, sooner or later will and even gods aren't safe from death."
"Why is Tharion not looking for someone to spend eternity with him?" Calen remembered the sword of the Guardian, and how much he cherished it. "Is it because of your master?"
"Tharion is perhaps the most human out of us, despite the fact that he's the only one who was never mortal." She answered cryptically. "Let's just say that you can try to fight against the death, but you cannot force someone to live – especially not when they already lived for millennia."
The meaning was rather clear – Tharion was scared of growing attached to anyone after the Green Lady chose to return to the Nature domain.
It wasn't exactly his fault, but in the end his loneliness was a self-induced result of a combination of that fear and his human nature.
Sylara hasn't quite convinced him that Tharion was completely wrong, but she did show him an alternative.
Fortunately he was still some way off from having to make any meaningful choices.