If you’re uncomfortable, sit up straight.

A few days ago, my dick suddenly disappeared.

I don’t know the exact time it happened. I just woke up one day, and it was gone.

But it’s not like I became impotent or anything. Instead, I turned into a cute girl.

Is being a cute girl better than being impotent?
I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to live through it to find out.

My first thought was, ‘Is my life screwed now?’
Turns out, not entirely.

My student ID photo, my ID number, even my yearbook picture, all of them had somehow adjusted to match this new body.

So, what is this? Earth 4?

I stopped trying to overthink it.

The existence of a benevolent god has already been disproven, but maybe an evil god, a mad god, or some cosmic entity decided to mess with me.
Humans are like candles in the wind or flies in front of a fan, completely powerless against overwhelming forces.

Still, being a cute girl should help me win people’s goodwill, right?

With that positive mindset, I went to school, and sure enough, the guys were tripping over themselves to be nice to me.

And then it hit me:

There’s no way I can tolerate these horny bastards squirming around in front of me, clearly wanting to screw me.

Every act of kindness started to feel like, ‘What’s this? Are they trying to hook up with me?’ or, ‘What’s this? Do they just want to sleep with me?’
It became unbearable.

Can men and women really just be friends? I wouldn’t know, I’ve always been a lonely, awkward virgin loser with no friends.

Anyway, it sucked.

So I thought, maybe I should awkwardly try getting along with the girls instead.

But when I approached them, it was clear they’d already decided to shut me out.

‘Why don’t you just act like you normally do? You’re good at flirting with the boys, right?’

Aren’t girls supposed to never say bad things to your face?

Whoever made that claim, I’d like to stab them with a knife.

Now that I think about it, I only ever read that on the internet.

Oh, right, I never had any friends to begin with.

Which means every bit of advice I ever got about socializing came from random online hearsay.

My college life is truly screwed, irreparably so.

Why would a socially inept, friendless virgin loser even bother trying to fix their college life, you ask?

Because, damn it, why else would anyone even go to college if not for networking?

Korea is all about connections, family ties, school ties, and regional ties.

Family ties? Screwed.
School ties? Also screwed.
Regional ties? Too many people from the same area for it to mean anything.

I live in Seoul. What regional ties?

Hmm.

So my life is screwed too, huh.

Guess I’ll stay a lonely, awkward virgin loser forever.

I had a moment of clarity.

Seriously, how do people even come up with the idea of wanting to get impaled by that? Women are truly fascinating.
Don’t even get me started on gay men.

In conclusion, I’m destined to be single for life.

To relieve the stress of my ruined life, I was lurking on a forum called Bochu Gallery.

[Crossdressing, thoughts? Rate me.]
[(Selfie with the face cropped out)]

[- Lay off the filters, dude. Even for a girl, this is next-level. How’s this even possible? lol]
[- Where’d you get that chest? It looks so natural. Info, please.]
[- Wow, Bochu Gallery goddess. I’m sold.]

The comment about where I ‘got’ my chest came from the assumption that it was silicone.
Apparently, among the crossdressers on Bochu Gallery, the more hardcore ones use silicone breasts.
That’s actually pretty tame compared to the real ones, those who take female hormones to grow actual breasts. My previously innocent self hadn’t known this…

“I’m not crossdressing, you idiots. I’m the real deal, a legit cute girl.”

It’s not like I uploaded a full-on nude photo just because cleavage was visible.
I mean, how can you call it crossdressing if you’re naked?
I was just wearing a dress that showed a bit of my upper chest.

Apparently, crossdressers often wear dresses because they’re good at hiding body flaws or something.

[- Goddess? Please. You’ve filtered this photo so much it’s practically a whole new creation. Is the original image even still there?]
[- Why’s this guy so mad?]

Seeing someone trembling with ^inferiority^ made me feel a little better.

Why, out of all the possible targets, did I decide to troll the people on Bochu Gallery?
That decision was perfectly logical.

Since my life was ruined by turning into a girl, I wanted to flex in front of people who desperately wanted to become one.
The very thing they dream of is something I don’t want at all.
From every angle, life is a tragedy.

Damn it.

I stared into the mirror at myself in a rather loose-fitting dress.
My hair now fell past my shoulders, well below the straps of my bra.
But my lifeless eyes looked like those of a dead fish.

Oh, right, that’s just because my mental state is garbage.

And yet, even with those dead fish eyes, I was stunning, pretty enough to make actresses jealous.
It felt like I’d hacked the system.

A bug that turned a man into a cute girl. Damn it.

Even in this loose-fitting dress, my chest was straining against the fabric like it was about to tear it apart.

They’re huge.

I pulled at the back of the dress, revealing the hidden curve of my waist.

That slim waist, honestly, it looked like a work of art.

But then there were my hips, absolute killer-level.
An ideal hourglass figure, the kind people dream about.

I tried to force my expression, lifeless as it was, into a smile.
It didn’t work. Instead of a real smile, it looked more like I was mocking or ridiculing someone.

Are those the same thing?

The target of my ridicule, of course, was myself, the guy who, even in this mess, felt a flicker of attraction to his own reflection.

If you assigned value to this appearance, it would be astronomical.
Does that mean I should be grateful for this free gift?

I don’t know.

I really don’t know.

Feeling lost, I sought refuge at my computer.

I booted up a game and entered the arena.

Games are great.
Why? Because I’m good at them.

After easily winning a match, I decided to share my joy through chat.

[Wow, trash gameplay.]
[Quit already.]
[Why even bother playing with hands like that?]
[Aren’t you embarrassed?]

At the time, I had no idea.

I had no idea this would mark the beginning of something legendary.

I had no idea this chat would trigger an event that would flip my entire life upside down…

* * *

[Menjang vs. Kesarex Character Deletion Battle]
[Broadcast link in comments]

A new event was unfolding in the Lost Fighter Story Revolution Gallery, abbreviated as Lofa Gallery.

It was the much-anticipated character deletion battle (referred to as “캐삭빵”) between the famous duelist Menjang and Kesarex.

A ‘character deletion battle’ means the loser has to delete their character, a fight made under the promise to erase the character if they lose.

Of course, most ordinary people wouldn’t even know such a thing exists.

This kind of fight is something only those obsessed with the game to the point of real anger engage in.

[-Please, let Menjang get some education.]
[-Would Menjang really delete his character if he loses? lol]
[-Even so, at least he’ll be quiet for a few months.]
[-I hope that bastard just dies.]

The users of Lofa Gallery were united in cheering for Kesarex.

Why? Because Menjang was notorious for being a trash troll.

[-But can Menjang actually lose?]
[-Maybe if it’s a one-off, but if it’s a series, there’s no way he’ll lose.]
[-Why are you supporting Menjang?]
[-Are you Menjang himself?]
[-Kesarex probably had some confidence to bet on the character deletion.]

Then Kesarex started the battle while streaming, with 300 viewers watching.

However, betraying everyone’s expectations, Kesarex was completely defeated 3-0.

[Why even bother with a character deletion battle if this was going to happen?]
[This is ridiculous lol]
[Are you fucking serious????]

The chat in the stream was filled with mockery.

“Wait!”

At that moment, Kesarex’s voice echoed through the broadcast.

“That’s clearly cheating. He used hacks, so this battle is invalid!”

[For real lol]
[If it’s Menjang, it wouldn’t be surprising if he’s hacking.]
[They say hacks are so subtle these days, you wouldn’t even notice if done well.]
[Just admit you lost, you’re so pathetic. What’s with this hacking accusation?]
[The Menjang supporter above has been caught.]

It was obvious that Kesarex was having a meltdown.

Yet, the public opinion still defended Kesarex and trashed Menjang.

It was an enlightening moment showing how many people had been burned by Menjang.

[So what, you dumbass?]
[You’re really going to act all dramatic?]
[No character deletion?]
[If he was hacking, he would have been banned already.]

[Did you replace your brain with a noodle?]

In response to Menjang’s provocation in the game chat, Kesarex boldly declared:

With 300 viewers on his side, this demand seemed completely justified.

“You need to prove it’s not a hack.”

Kesarex was certain that Menjang was cheating.

He was just too good to not be using hacks.

“Turn on your hand cam.”

He believed that the heavens would side with him.

[If you show your mother’s yaas video first, I’ll turn on the hand cam.]
[Getting wrecked and flailing around like that, lol.]

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to turn it on. You hacker.”

[For real, that’s definitely hacking.]
[How hasn’t he been banned? Is he friends with the admins?]
[Seriously, we have to acknowledge how bad the NEXMAGE admins are.]
[Admins should resign! Resign!]

The public opinion was against Menjang, but he didn’t care about that.

Menjang avoided turning on the cam, and it seemed like the character deletion battle was going to end in an anticlimax.

[Beat200 levels donated 1 million won.]

[Turn on the hand cam and let’s have a rematch. Whoever wins gets the prize.]

It wasn’t until the guy who had bought 100 Bitcoin for 2 million won appeared that things got interesting.

Looking back, I should’ve bought some too.

[Chairman, wowwwwwww.]
[This is really frustrating. I bought it at 200 and sold it at 250, damn it.]

[But if he doesn’t turn on the cam, does Kesarex just win?]

[Lost the character deletion battle and still got 1 million won.]
[What is this, a light novel title? Lol.]

After a long silence, Menjang finally typed in the chat.

[Cam on.]

[Got it.]

He couldn’t resist the 1 million won.

How could anyone resist?