I Won’t Pick Up The Trash I Threw Away Again

It was so absurd that I couldn't say anything. This absurdity made what I couldn't say seemed to disappear.

What did you mean you're doing it on my behalf? Wouldn't I know if I asked for it? I didn't say anything, but I guessed it was funny to me.

I even removed the smile I was barely making and looked at Cecily coldly. 

Cecily was a little perplexed looking at me, whether she noticed it or not.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Are you really asking because you don't know why I looked at you this way?

I spontaneously gained strength around my lips. My head was burning.

Whenever there's Philen, I didn't want to argue with this woman, but I thought I needed to say a word.

“Cecily worked hard to embroider for the Lady and me, even though she wasn't a single body.” Philen looked at me with pathetic eyes. “But you didn’t thank her, instead you looked at her with such eyes. I can't help but feel that the Lady is so pathetic."

My head throbbed as if I had been hit by something hard. My mind became confused and my eyes were blurred. It wasn't because of tears. I wasn't emotional enough to cry for this kind of thing. And I didn't want to cry in front of Philen and this woman.

It didn't take long for me to recapture my swaying emotions. I gently closed my eyes, then opened them and spoke.

"I'm not being too much, I'm sure the Duke was the one who's being too much."

“I'm being too much?”

“No matter how this woman has the Duke's child, she is a mistress. She can't go out proudly with the Duke in public, and she has to live in the shadows for the rest of her life.”

Cecily's face turned pale at my words. Cecily staggered and leaned against Philen.

Philen looked at me, supporting Cecily.

But knowing that I would recoil with fear, I twisted my lips and didn't stop talking. “Such a woman dared to invade my authority as a fiancée, am I supposed to be generous to her?"

“It wasn't an invasion. She said it was a pure heart for the Lady and me.”

"Unsolicited favors are often referred to as useless pricks."

“Lady Thebesa!” His shout rumbled down the hallway.

Servants' eyes were focused. Those who weren't here began to gather.

I couldn't believe we're fighting over a mistress. What an unseemly figure she was. 

“It's up to you if you want to bring that handkerchief to the banquet, Duke. But don't tell anyone that I was the one who embroidered it." Feeling the need to close the conversation, I concluded. “Because I have no intention of answering that way.”

Social circles implicitly allow the nobles to have a mistress, but as I said, they couldn't bring them to the public. It's because they know it's a shame that they don't dare.

But what would happen if Philen attended the banquet wearing a handkerchief embroidered by a mistress? Certainly, the other nobles would criticize Philen for his immorality and point their finger. I would also criticize him for not cracking down on his conduct, but it didn't matter.

It was a hundred times better for her to be cursed at than lying that I was the one who embroidered the handkerchief.

No matter how ignorant he was, Philen was also a noble.

“Lady!”

Philen shouted angrily because he knew these basics well. His voice was so loud that it rang loudly in the hallway. 

But I wasn't afraid at all. Rather, I bowed my head to Philen with a smile that was close to ridicule and then left.

"My Lady!"

Sarah, who was watching the situation nervously from behind, hurriedly followed me. She called me, but I didn't look back.

As I almost ran, I left the mansion and got into the waiting carriage.

"My Lady?"

The coachman, who was repairing the carriage, looked at me in surprise.

“Let's go.”

"Yes? But, this carriage is the Duke's…”

“There is not a single carriage in the mansion, and he can take another carriage, so let's go right away.”

"Yes, yes!"

When I spoke with a voice overwhelmed with anger, the coachman hurriedly got onto the driver's seat.

Soon, as the carriage departed and the mansion completely disappeared, I breathed deeply, releasing the tight tension.

“… “

Then I smiled bitterly at the handkerchief box I was holding in my hand and my left hand that had become a beehive.

I spend the night saving time to eat for what? And until my hands reached this point. Was it to embroidery this handkerchief?

I felt particularly pathetic today.

*****

Philen planned to go out, but suddenly he had to postpone his plans a little.

It was because Cecily collapsed in shock after hearing Leila's verbal abuse. She didn't lose her mind, but she couldn't stand on her two legs properly.

Philen hurriedly laid Cecily on her bed and told the butler. “Call a doctor right now.”

"It's okay." Cecily said with a pale face. “You don’t need to call a doctor.”

"What are you talking about? You have a bad complexion like this, so I need to call a doctor. What if something happened to the baby?"

“It's really okay, Phil.” Cecily grabbed Philen's arm with her small trembling hand. "I just need you to stay with me." 

“Cecily.”

“That’s enough. Honestly, I hate it when another man touches me.”

She begged him not to call a doctor, so Philen was forced to accept it. Instead, he decided to change his plans completely so he could stay with Cecily.

After lying down a little bit, Cecily raised her body and leaned her little head on Philen's shoulder.

“Is it my mistake?” She muttered in a gloomy tone. “It’s better to go to Lady Thebesa later and apologize separately, right?”

“You don't have to. Cecily, there's nothing you've done wrong." Philen replied, gently sweeping the hair over Cecily's face. “Leila is the one who did the wrong thing. So she should be the one who has to apologize to you."

At Philen's reply, Cecily looked at him with a slightly surprised look. “Do you really think so?”

Philen asked back with a stern face. "Do you think I'm lying?"

"No, I don't think so."

Philen smiled lightly because it was cute to see Cecily shook her head with her eyes round. 

"Just kidding."

“Phil so…” Cecily rolled her eyes and hugged her belly.

"You surprised me. The baby is also surprised and is starting to kick.”

"Oops, I owe my baby an apology." Philen caressed Cecily's belly and said gently. “I’m sorry, My baby.”

It was the image of a loving father who loved his children.

Cecily's eyes, staring at Philen, sank strangely.

Unaware of the fact, Philen kissed Cecily's belly lightly and then kissed Cecily's lips.

“Don't mind it anyway. As I said, there's nothing you've done wrong.”

Cecily replied with a depressed look. “But, Lady Thebesa looked furious.”

“Leila has been that way for a long time.”

Leila had been greedy since she was young. If someone else invaded her territory, she became furious. It was the same with Philen. So Philen had to suffer many times.

Still, he thought she would have learned mercy and tolerance as she became an adult, but he was mistaken. Leila was the same as before. No, it seemed to be stronger than before.

“Tsk, how are you going to survive in the social world with that temper?” Philen, who worried about Leila, lightly clicked his tongue.

Cecily looked at Philen and carefully spoke out. “According to the Lady, the Empire does not recognize the existence of a mistress… Is that right?"

“They don't recognize it, but they don't say anything outright. So you don't have to worry about that."

Even though he said she didn't need to worry, Cecily's expression wasn't very good. Philen leaned. “What's wrong?”

"No. If I wasn't recognized, I wonder what would happen to my baby.”

“It's a useless worry." Philen hugged Cecily's slender shoulders from behind and continued. “The child you gave birth to will definitely be registered as the eldest child of the family. Everyone will acknowledge him.”

“Will Lady Thebesa acknowledge him too?”

“Of course, as a foster mother, she has the duty to raise the children well. Of course, she has to acknowledge him.”

“What if she doesn't?”

When the question came back, Philen's eyebrows were wrinkled. “What do you mean? Did she say that?”

"No. She's not, but I'm a little worried when I see Lady Thebesa's actions today.” Cecily caressed her belly and muttered. “I’m worried that the Lady will abuse my child.”

“There's no need to worry.” Philen said in a short reply. “If Leila doesn't fulfill her foster mother's duty, that means she doesn't fulfill her duty as the mansion's hostess. When that time happens, I'll put everything down and make her leave the mansion.”

That meant he was divorcing Leila. Divorce.

Cecily leaned against Philen's chest, chewing the words secretly. 

Philen gently caressed Cecily's belly. "Your belly is not as big as I thought."

"Is that so?"

"Mmm. Usually, around this time, I heard it was very noticeable, but I can't tell. Maybe it's because you're skinny."

"Other people say it's pretty obvious." 

“Not in my eyes.” Philen's eyes, looking at Cecily's belly, were endlessly sweet and tender. “I can't wait for the baby to come out."

“Phil seems to be particularly fond of children. Is there a reason?”

"Well." Philen pondered for a moment, then shrugged. "There is no other reason, but if I have to say, maybe it's because I want to be a good father, unlike my father?”

“Is your predecessor, Duke Williot, a good father?” Cecily spoke and hurriedly covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry. I asked a very rude question.”

"No. It's no wonder you're curious when I say that.” Philen said insignificantly. “My father was definitely a good man, but he wasn't a good father. So, unlike my father, my dream is to become a good father to my child.”