I Won't Be a Loser

{Flashback}

"Hey, Haruto, in our class full of cute girls, isn't there at least one you like?"

The girl sat beside the boy, sketching for a while before stopping. Her thoughts were all over the place, making it hard to focus on drawing. She turned to the boy next to her and finally asked the question that had been lingering in her heart.

They were close to graduation now, and if she didn't get an answer soon, Eriri felt she wouldn't be able to let it go. So, in this rare moment when they were alone, she mustered the courage to voice her doubts.

Even though he was undeniably good-looking, Haruto hadn't dated a single girl throughout their time at school. The only people who seemed to stay close to him were her and her mother. While there were rumors about them, Haruto had always cleared them up.

"Why the sudden question?"

Haruto paused his writing and turned to look at the girl beside him.

"Living alone in Tokyo for so long… don't you feel lonely?"

"Not really. I have you and Sayuri-san by my side, don't I?"

Hearing this, Eriri's face flushed red. Her heart raced, and she couldn't suppress the emotions welling up inside. Just as she was about to confess her feelings—

"Eriri, Haruto, lunch is ready. Come down and eat together!"

The scene abruptly shifted to another moment.

"You're really not planning to continue your education? With your grades, getting into a top university would be a breeze. Why would you choose to give up now?"

Eriri stared at the boy in disbelief, unable to understand his decision.

"Continuing my education is a good thing, sure. But I already have something I want to pursue… something that matters more. So… I'm sorry, Eriri. I'll have to break our promise to attend the same university."

Hearing this, Eriri clenched her fists tightly.

A series of scenes flashed before Eriri's eyes. Back home, she found her mother and Haruto sitting together in the living room. A sense of unease began to creep into her heart.

"Why did you call me back so suddenly? And why is Haruto here?"

"Well… Eriri, there's something I need to tell you," her mother said, her voice hesitant and her expression complicated. "Actually… I've been in love with someone for a long time. I just didn't know how to bring it up. But now that you're about to graduate from university… I think it's time."

As her mother lowered her head, struggling to find the right words, Eriri's gaze instinctively shifted to haruto.

"Haruto…?"

The boy avoided her eyes, but after a moment, he stood up and gently patted Sayuri on the shoulder. The intimate gesture shattered something inside Eriri.

"I'm sorry, Eriri," Haruti said softly. "I didn't mean to hide this from you. Actually, Sayuri-san and I… we've been in love since high school."

"I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!" Eriri screamed, tears streaming down her face. "What kind of joke is this?! I'll never accept it!"

She fled from the house, tears blurring her vision.

『I'm sorry, Eriri. You're my daughter, but Haruto is the one I love. I just don't know how to go on living without him. I'm sorry.』

Eriri picked up the note left on the coffee table. Her mind went blank. She rushed to her mother's room, only to find it empty. Then she turned toward the bathroom. Hearing the sound of running water, she hesitated. Her trembling hand slowly pushed the door open—

The last scene in the memory was the same as the nightmare that had haunted her.

Dressed in her old high school uniform, Eriri stood in front of a mirror in her mother's bedroom. She had found the spare key to Haruto's apartment and tucked a small knife into her pocket.

She arrived at his door in the dead of night, unlocked it, and quietly stepped inside.

The room was a mess, cluttered with empty cans and magazines. Guided by the pale moonlight, she found him curled up on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees like a wounded child.

Tears slid down her cheeks as she knelt beside him, her voice trembling as she whispered:

"It's okay. It won't hurt. I'll stay with you… forever. I love you, Haruto."

In the final moments of her memory, she saw their blood slowly mingling on the floor. As her strength faded, her lips curved into a faint smile.

"We're… together now… Haruto…"

{Flashback End}

"Ugh—!"

Eriri snapped back to reality, clutching her mouth. Her whole body trembled as she gasped for air, overwhelmed by nausea. Tears streamed down her face as she dry-heaved, unable to stop the waves of pain and disgust washing over her.

"Are you okay? Would you like some water?"

A gentle voice pulled her back to the present. A warm, steady hand rested on her back, gently soothing her.

That voice. She'd heard it countless times in her dreams.

With trembling eyes, she turned to the boy beside her.

"Haru.. Haruto?"

The hand on her back froze. Haruto, who had been tending to her with concern, faltered for a moment at the sound of her voice.

He offered a soft smile, pretending as though nothing had happened.

"It's impressive you remember my name, Sawamura-san. You fainted during class earlier. For a moment, I thought my name triggered some kind of physical reaction," he joked lightly.

Still disoriented, Eriri looked around at the stark white walls. She realized she was in the school's infirmary.

As the weight of her earlier memories and emotions slowly began to lift, she felt a sense of clarity return.

"I… fainted?"

"The school nurse checked you out and said you're fine. But to be safe, they've already contacted your mother. She should be here soon."

"My mom…"

Eriri muttered, lost in thought.

Seeing her like this, Haruto stood up.

"Well, since you're okay now, I'll head back to class. The nurse will be back shortly, so you won't be alone."

"…Okay."

Eriri said nothing more, watching as Haruto walked toward the door.

As his figure receded, Eriri couldn't help feeling a sense of emptiness and sadness in her heart. She wanted to call out to him, to stop him from leaving, but the words refused to come out. All she could do was watch as he disappeared from sight.

Not long after Haruto's figure disappeared, Eriri still hadn't seen any sign of her mother. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway, drawing closer to the infirmary.

The calm and unhurried steps were definitely not those of Sayuri Sawamura rushing to check on her fainted daughter.

Under Eriri's curious gaze, a woman in a white coat entered the infirmary. She had short blue hair and a modern, stylish look that seemed far removed from the typical image of a doctor. In her hand was a steaming cup, the faint brownish color of the liquid hinting it was coffee.

"Has he already left? That boy."

"Huh?"

Eriri blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected the first thing the nurse said to be about Haruto, who had just left moments ago.

The school nurse strolled leisurely to Eriri's side, looking down at the girl sitting on the infirmary bed. She tucked one hand under her arm, her lips curving into a faint smile.

"When you fainted, he was really worried," the nurse said casually. "He carried you straight to the infirmary in his arms, completely panicked, demanding that I check on you right away. He was sweating and looked utterly anxious, genuinely concerned about you."

"..."

"You two must be new students, right? It's only the first day of school, and you're already dating? Or have you been dating since before?"

"Before?"

Hearing the nurse's question, Eriri froze. Her mind replayed fragments of the bizarre dream she had earlier, leaving her feeling utterly perplexed.

~~~~