I Wished for Non-Face-to-Face Lectures

A heavy tension hung in the air with just a threshold between us.

After a long silence, my brother addressed the uninvited visitor who had arrived in the middle of the night, asking again in a cold voice.

“I asked who you are.”

At his utterly cold attitude, I silently stared at my brother.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t expected this. In fact, this was natural.

A rural area with few people to begin with.

And a strange woman standing blankly at the open front door late at night—what kind of person would greet her warmly?

But on the other hand, that cautious demeanor made me feel sad.

I had a sliver of hope that, being family, they would recognize me at a glance.

Fairy tale things don’t happen in real life.

Stories should remain just stories.

With a bitter smile, instead of answering, I handed my brother my ID card along with a newspaper that had the “Large-Scale Species Transformation Incident” as its front-page headline.

Then, as if telling him to judge for himself, I took a step back and waited for his answer.

I was curious.

Would my brother acknowledge that this strange woman was his sibling?

If he didn’t recognize me and told me to get lost, how should I live from now on?

I’ve always enjoyed reading text.

I liked non-fiction too, but I mainly read novels because I liked how they let me forget reality for a while.

I’ve read countless novels across all genres, and among them were protagonists in situations similar to mine.

Mostly depressing stories, probably.

I recall most of them featuring protagonists who transform into something, then get rejected by their families, and that’s how their miserable lives begin.

Will I become like those protagonists in depressing novels? Being a pathetic species is bad enough, I don’t want to suffer terribly on top of that.

Was I anxiously fidgeting with the innocent floor?

After contemplating with a complicated expression for a while, my brother seemed to reach a decision and opened his mouth, returning my ID and the newspaper.

“…It’s difficult for me to judge this alone. I think I need to hear what our parents have to say.”

Does that mean he’s allowing me to enter?

With the thought that I could finally go in, I stepped forward energetically, but again, I couldn’t cross that low threshold.

…Wasn’t he telling me to come along? Could it be that I need explicit permission?

As I stood still in front of the entrance with a dumb expression, my brother, wondering why I wasn’t following, turned around and asked me.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“Th-that… I-I need to be invited to enter.”

“…?”

When I spoke haltingly with my head bowed low, my brother’s gaze turned contemptuous.

If I were to interpret his look, it would be something like, “What kind of idiot is this?”

I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that.

I’m going crazy because of it too.

“…Come in.”

Permission obtained after much trouble.

I could finally set foot inside the house.

And thus, for the first time with my changed body, I could see my parents.

After entering the house following my brother, I immediately handed my ID and the newspaper to my parents, just as I had done with my brother.

I deliberately didn’t speak.

Even if I pleaded that I was their son, it would be useless if they didn’t believe me.

I was simply leaving it to my family’s judgment.

Hoping they would recognize me as family.

My family remained silent for a long time after seeing my ID and the newspaper.

They would look at the newspaper once, then at me with a complicated expression.

They just repeated this several times.

From those distressing actions, I could sense how shocked my family was.

My always taciturn father’s face was now serious.

My always composed mother was showing signs of anxiety.

The playful atmosphere characteristic of my mischievous brother was nowhere to be found.

A crisis suddenly visiting a normal family.

Seeing my family’s unstable state made my guilt grow rapidly.

Should I have explained the situation, even briefly?

But would that have changed anything?

While slumping my shoulders and blaming the shooting star that granted my foolish wish, my father soon sighed and opened his mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t believe it. No, I don’t want to believe it. The fact that my son got caught up in this insane situation.”

“…”

“I understand it with my head, but I can’t accept it with my heart. If you could prove that you’re my son, it might be different, but from the article, it seems there’s no proper way to prove it.”

My father placed the ID and newspaper on the table and continued speaking.

“I think I need quite a bit of time. Right now, I’m too confused to think about anything. I’ll go in first. I’m a bit… tired.”

With those words, my father went into the master bedroom, and following him, my brother also disappeared into his room, saying he wanted to rest.

Now only my mother and I remained in the living room.

My mother, who had been staring at me intently, sat on the sofa and invited me to sit beside her.

“Want to talk for a moment? I have a lot of questions.”

“…Yes.”

As I sat demurely on the sofa, my mother, as if she had been waiting for this moment, asked me many things.

What I had been doing for the past few months, whether I had encountered any problems after transforming into that form, if there were any inconveniences, and so on.

She showed much more concern than when I was her son, and in response, I answered her questions sincerely to ease her worries.

I had been working at a convenience store, and this pathetic body was full of weaknesses, so there were quite a few inconveniences.

I actually briefly considered hiding my weaknesses, but decided to reveal everything.

What’s the point of hiding when my status as a pathetic species was already evident at the front door?

“I die if sunlight touches me, die if silver touches me, can’t touch crucifixes, have seizures when I see pointed objects, and what else was there…”

The endless list of weaknesses flowed from my mouth.

Upon hearing this, my mother made a face of disbelief and muttered softly.

“What kind of garbage species is that?”

M-mom?

It hurts my heart when you speak so bluntly…!

Clutching my aching heart, I suddenly became curious and carefully asked my mother.

“But do you think I’m really your son, Jiwoo? I could be deceiving you with just an ID card.”

What exactly made her think I was her son?

No, is she even right to think I’m her son?

When I urged for an answer with a puzzled look, my mother smiled gently and replied.

“Liars always talk a lot. They need to somehow convince others of their lies. You, on the other hand, just silently demanded an answer, didn’t you?”

“Oh.”

“That gave me a bit of trust, and as we conversed, I came to believe you are my son. Only my youngest son could speak in such a disheartening manner.”

My heart ached again at my mother’s straightforward words.

Please stop attacking me with facts.

Please.

The day at my family home passed without incident.

It was a collaborative effort between my mother, who was considerate after hearing about my weaknesses, and my effort to somehow get through the day without any problems.

According to my mother, if I hadn’t mentioned my counting compulsion and garlic phobia, she was planning to serve a heaping bowl of rice with kimchi stew.

At the thought that I could have experienced a terrible time, cold sweat ran down my back without me realizing.

Unlike my affectionate mother, my father and brother remained aloof until the moment I left.

But that attitude didn’t make me uncomfortable. I could see their effort to somehow accept me as family.

That’s why, when I said goodbye, I hugged my brother and father.

Adding the words, “Please think of me as family the next time I visit here.”

Although it was cringey to the point of giving me goosebumps, since we don’t usually do this.

The effect itself seemed excellent. Both of them stuttered and left the place hastily.

Oh, right. As expected, I couldn’t avoid their interference.

My mother strongly insisted that she needs to confirm I’m alive at least once a month.

I wanted to refuse, but since I had no good reason to, I reluctantly agreed.

Honestly, even I don’t know when this pathetic body might be exposed to danger.

Anyway, contrary to my worries, the visit to my family home ended more smoothly than expected.

I felt relieved thinking that the immediate concerns had been addressed, but when I thought about the problems I’d have to deal with later, my head already started to ache.

“Being a vampire, I won’t be able to do daytime activities. So I have to think about jobs that don’t depend on the time of day or can only be done at night…”

If my job choices are limited like this, is there any meaning in the major courses I’m taking now?

Damn, no matter how I think about it, it seems like I’ve lost too much just to get remote classes.

“Haah.”

After a long sigh at the depressing thought, I immediately shook my head and regained my spirits.

“Let’s think about it later! I have plenty of time anyway!”

Yes, now that I’ve become a vampire, time was on my side.

While I was a sunfish species with disgustingly many weaknesses, as long as I was careful about those points, wasn’t eternal life possible for a vampire?

As I filled my mind with such positive thoughts, I arrived in front of my rented room, and?

I could only stare blankly with my mouth open at the incomprehensible scene before me.

My rented room, which was supposed to be responsible for my stay-at-home life for the semester.

For some reason, it was engulfed in flames, crackling as it burned.

What the hell.

Give me back my room.