I Wished for Non-Face-to-Face Lectures

A halo radiating brilliant light that illuminated the darkness.

Pure white wings that, despite being neatly folded, still made their presence clearly known.

And finally, provocative priest’s robes that could only exist in subculture media.

When I opened the door to see an angel, I was thrown into great confusion.

I definitely invited my friend, so why was an unfamiliar angel visiting instead of my friend?

I don’t remember giving my apartment address to anyone other than my friends and parents.

A chilling sensation ran down my spine.

Responding to the urgent warning from my survival instinct, I glanced around to check if there were any crucifixes left in the house.

Still.

If I show that I believe in Jesus, I might avoid being annihilated, right?

As the angel approached with a benevolent smile, I pointed to a crucifix hanging on the wall while backing away.

“I, I believe in God! I’m not a bad vampire!”

When I pleaded with tears welling up in my eyes.

“Puhahaha…!”

The angel burst into laughter as if they couldn’t hold it in anymore and started rolling on the floor.

Why.

What the hell.

Why are you laughing your ass off?

How long did I stare down at the angel rolling around on the floor with a dumbfounded expression?

The unfamiliar angel, who finally calmed down, closed the apartment door and sent a message to someone on their phone.

Then.

Ding!

An alert sounded from the phone on the table, indicating that a message had arrived from someone.

“Do you get it now? Who I am?”

“…You bitch.”

Finally realizing who it was, I let out a sigh of relief.

Seeing their mocking face, I wanted to give them a knock on the head, but since they were an angel, I couldn’t even do that.

Maybe because of the brilliant light emitted by the halo, I was completely drained.

“I heard that thing is detachable, how come you can’t take it off?”

When I asked in a tired voice, my friend seemed to realize their mistake and shrunk the halo, putting it in their pocket.

Seizing the opportunity, I gave them a hard knock on the head with all my strength.

“You…!”

With a voice full of anger from the stinging pain, this crazy woman took out the halo they had just put away.

But it was fine. Seeing that furious face, I felt like I wouldn’t mind being annihilated now.

Ah, that feels good.

This is what sex is.

I smiled comfortably watching my friend thrashing around, but unfortunately, that smile didn’t last very long.

Crack!

Suddenly, they split the halo in two.

And those split halos transformed into some vicious-looking knuckle dusters.

…So that’s what “detachable” meant, damn it?

I didn’t have to think for long.

Acting rebellious in front of those menacing tools would be stupid.

I immediately knelt down and begged for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, I committed a mortal sin.”

Don’t I get a weapon like that too? Seriously.

Perhaps thanks to that crazy prank at the beginning, the atmosphere became much more comfortable.

Honestly, I felt relieved. I was at a loss for where to start explaining.

Fellow sufferers.

Since they were also caught up in the large-scale alien species transformation incident, I didn’t need to explain becoming a vampire in detail.

Without having to dig up embarrassing history, I just said “I went to sleep and woke up as Hawawa, a discharged female high school student,” and they laughed and understood.

When I asked what happened to our other two friends, they said they didn’t know.

They hadn’t thought to contact them because they’d been confused for the past three days?

Hearing that they hadn’t received any contact either, I jokingly said:

“Maybe all four of us had our species changed?”

“If all of us were caught up in the species transformation incident, that would be funny in its own way. Heh…”

I burst out laughing along with my friend’s playful remark.

It would be funny, but it probably wouldn’t happen.

The one-in-ten-thousand probability has already applied to two people.

Even this is an astronomical probability, so it couldn’t possibly apply to three people, right?

But stimulating imagination always brings entertainment.

Although the probability was extremely low, I speculated with the angel-transformed friend about what species our other friends might have become.

By the time the fun subsided and our imagination had somewhat withered, I posed a question to the angel in front of me.

“Does being an angel have any inconvenient aspects?”

I was curious.

Is it only vampires that have excessive penalties? If only vampires are like this, it would be really sad.

With half expectation and half concern, I waited for an answer, and after a moment of contemplation, my friend opened their mouth.

“Hmm, there are quite a few annoying issues. Like how the wings are white, so any dust or foreign matter shows up immediately, or how when I go outside, I get surrounded by religious people, which is super annoying.”

“Any other inconveniences?”

“Being vulnerable to desires, maybe? But this is actually good. Since my body became an angel, I can have a more enjoyable time with special fantasies.”

“…”

I silently averted my gaze, but the angel had already fallen into fantasy and began spouting embarrassing words with unfocused eyes.

“Think about it! An angel captured and violated by a villain! Struggling not to be consumed by pleasure, but eventually being perfectly trained and serving the person who violated them as their master. Honestly, doesn’t that turn you on?”

“Stop watching so much Hitomi, and that’s NTR, you crazy woman.”

“It’s not NTR, it’s training-pure-love! And it does turn you on!!! How can this not turn you on? Are you really a man? Or are you impotent?”

“I’m not a man anymore. Can’t you see I’ve lost my dick? Yes, I’m impotent, damn it. Since I am, please shut up.”

This is why I said I didn’t want to meet them.

Once the conversation progresses to a certain point, they always bring up vulgar fantasies.

A nickname given because their head is filled with only adult manga: Holy Woman (Sex Woman).

This person, who came to my apartment dressed like a Holy Woman (Saint), was one of the unique friends I mentioned.

Of course, “unique” is putting it nicely—”insane” would be more accurate.

It’s really strange that this bundle of desire became an angel.

“Hey, Lee Hye-eun. Stop fantasizing and show me the clothes you brought. I need to try them on before the night ends.”

“…Ah, right! Sorry! I forgot why I came here!”

If left alone, they would continue fantasizing until morning.

Having already had such experiences with other friends, I immediately changed the subject by reminding them of our original purpose.

It’s a shame for someone who was so excited, but urgent matters are urgent.

“By the way, Hye-eun.”

“Hm? What?”

“Why aren’t there any pants?”

Before properly trying on the clothes, I looked through the garments due to an inexplicable uneasiness.

Sure enough, this damn woman had only brought skirts and dresses.

“Skirt, dress, skirt, skirt… you really…”

“Why, why?! You told me to bring clothes!”

“No, you crazy woman! Think about it! If your son, who has only been a woman for just four days, is wearing a skirt like it’s natural, would you consider that normal?”

A man who’s been through the military wearing a skirt is one thing, but to become “female-corrupted” in just four days…

Even if I were my parents, I would immediately start interfering.

How could they leave me alone when they don’t know what kind of trouble I might get into?

My goal was to appear as normal as possible to avoid interference as much as possible.

In that sense, skirts were absolutely unacceptable. I should be dressing modestly as it is—why draw unnecessary attention?

I was grateful they came to help at this late hour.

How many friends in the world would come to help when asked for assistance at dawn?

I was extremely thankful, more than deserved, but I couldn’t let things go wrong because of their petty desires.

It’s definitely not because I didn’t want to wear feminine clothes like skirts or dresses.

I seriously requested:

“Give me pants.”

Hurry.

“…I feel like my identity is getting confused, damn it.”

“Pfft… But it suits you well? Honestly, I think this is prettier than pants.”

“I don’t need to be pretty! I just need to look normal!”

To give you the result.

In the end, I succeeded in getting pants.

They said they would hand over jeans if I tried on five of the clothes they brought.

I wanted to refuse, but I was so grateful they came to help without hesitation at such a late hour.

So I closed my eyes and tried on five of the clothes Hye-eun brought.

…Maybe because I wasn’t used to it, it felt like crossdressing.

It wasn’t a particularly good experience because it made my gender identity feel strange.

After getting the pants, the time was already four in the morning.

Hye-eun was getting tired and was about to return to their own apartment, but right before leaving, they asked me a question.

“Yawn… By the way, what are you going to do about school?”

“What about it?”

“School starts next week. Didn’t you say last time that all classes are face-to-face?”

They meant whether it would be okay to attend face-to-face classes looking like this.

Instead of answering, I showed them the updated course plan.

“It says ‘Classes will be conducted remotely until guidelines for the large-scale alien species transformation incident are established.’ What about you?”

“Me? I’m a fourth-year, right? I’ve already completed all my major credits, and I only have a few graduation credits left, so I registered for all internet courses.”

“I’m so jealous.”

“What’s there to be jealous of? It means I’ve been in school for a really long time. But it is fortunate. Didn’t you say you had five first-period classes? Isn’t it a bit more relaxed now?”

“That’s true.”

After nodding in agreement, they threw another question.

“But how are you going to explain to the others?”

“Explain what?”

“You know, us changing into alien species. I don’t think they’ll easily believe it.”

“Well, the world has become like this, so if we dig up some embarrassing history, they might believe us, right? Let’s worry about later issues later. There’s still some time until the regular meeting anyway.”

“That’s true, we can think about it slowly.”

With a faint smile, they said goodbye to me.

“See you next time, hope things go well with your parents.”

“That’s unusually kind coming from you.”

“No, I hope you get lots and lots of interference, then I’ll be going! Bye!”

“That damn woman.”

Bang!

Before I could curse, Hye-eun closed the door and disappeared.

I looked at the clothes they had left behind and began to worry about tomorrow.

“Explaining to friends isn’t the problem right now, you bitch.”

The problem is how to convince my parents about this surreal situation tomorrow.