I Wish You Were Never Reborn

Shay vaulted through the window, landing on a plot of loamy dirt behind a line of hedges.

It was an easy jump. Anyone could have reasonably got through without getting princess-carried.

Bleigh.

There were two people walking on the paved path-- but they walked right past her even though an unfamiliar Chinese girl in the bushes should have at least merited a ‘Hey, what’cha doin’?’

Did the ⌈Sigilla⌋ give her an invisibility effect? That was a cool feature.

Aw, the dragon fruit fell out of her basket. She wiped the dirt off onto her jeans and put it back, making sure it fit snugly with all the other lucky fruits.

Shay closed the window behind her before taking to the path, herself.

The Arcadian Gardens was a gated community full of single-story houses. Judging by the number of people walking around, there were fewer tenants than at the Elysian Heights. But because of its spread-out nature, it was a nice place for a leisurely walk.

It also had a certain nostalgic feel to it. It reminded her a lot of the place she and Dad used to live.

None of the little rental units had a real yard, per se... but every entrance was uniquely decorated and homey and welcoming. Maybe there was an HOA that demanded everyone keep their spaces presentable?

If there was, hopefully, they could keep her dad in line. He always had a problem keeping things clean and organized-- a problem even the neighbors noticed. It was a wonder how she was halfway decent at keeping things neat.

...Dad lost the house when she was still in elementary school. After that, the two of them lived in small apartments, usually with roommates-- and only for a few months to a year, at most.

Back then, he used to drink a lot, too. He said he stopped a few months after she moved out.

Shay wondered what changed...

Was he affected by her (stupid) decision to live with Aunt Gao?

...Was it her being around all day that drove him to drink?

Maybe.

Dad had an old picture of Mom from early on in their marriage. And from it... Shay knew she really was her mother’s daughter. So maybe looking at her, especially grown up...

Did that make him sad... or guilty? --regretful?

Mom’s death was not something they talked about.

Tyvan said they probably should-- and she knew she’d have to be the one to bring up the topic.

Would Dad cry? She’d never seen him cry. But Mom died when she was four years old... and she didn’t remember much from when she was younger.

(Also, she kept losing memories even as a pretty-much-adult. She didn’t have a lot of faith in her memory overall.)

Dad’s apartment was in the furthest back corner of the Gardens. It seemed like such a hassle, with how far the mailbox and parking lot was... but it also had the least foot traffic. So maybe he chose it because of his suspicious nature? Or maybe he just didn’t like dealing with people he wasn’t close to.

She knocked on the door.

She... banged on the door. “Dad?”

Inside the unit, a door swung open. Someone was in a hurry-- ah. Someone stumbled. There was a wooden bang and a very Chinese “ai-Yo~”

Dad answered the door, his face covered in stubble, sleep at the edges of his dark eyes, and... basically in his underwear.

“Xue! You’re here!”

Ah. His breath reeked.

Shay smiled awkwardly. “Your pants, Dad.”

Dad hopped back, covering his bits. “Oh! Ah-- yeah, come in. I’ll-- I’ll get dressed.”

Shay stepped into the apartment. It had a single couch, a coffee table, and not much else. There were three boxes in the living area, still full of stuff, the top one open.

In the open kitchen, there was an open box of fried chicken... but judging by the fact that Dad just woke up, that was probably from last night.

Gross.

It was on the counter-- did he eat it there? Knowing him, if he ate on the couch, he would have left it on the coffee table. Standing and eating sounded like some kind of feng shui sin. If not, there was probably some old Chinese rule on it, saying it wasn’t good for digestion.

Shay placed the fruit basket on the counter. She grabbed the empty box and chucked it into the trash. Then... she rooted through the trash can to see Dad’s other habits.

No beer or booze. That was good. There were two cigarette boxes and a load of butts, though. In a way, that was just as bad.

Dad came back out in a pair of basketball shorts and an old t-shirt, faded black.

“Hey, uh... sorry for the mess, Shay. I was planning on putting everything up before you got here.”

Shay gave her dad a gentle smile.

“Go brush your teeth.”

Dad frowned helplessly, but he turned right back around and headed to the bathroom.

Shay snooped around a bit more. She glanced into his room. There was a mattress on the floor-- without bedsheets or blankets. And his single pillowcase-less pillow was old and yellow.

Gross~

There was also a black gun case in the corner. That didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would.

She walked back to the entryway and checked the open box.

There, she found the framed picture of her mom that she’d been thinking about.

Dad chose that moment to rush back out of the bathroom. “Shay, I...”

Shay turned back.

She couldn’t tell exactly what was going through her dad’s head. There was a bit of surprise... maybe a little bit of anger. But from the furrowing of his brows... and the look in his eyes... there was something else.

“She... was really pretty.”

Dad gulped... and took a deep breath through his nose.

“...Yeah,” he said, “She was... the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Shay placed the frame on the coffee table, sitting on the couch to admire it.

“Did you fall in love at first sight?”

Dad choked a little laugh... quiet and soft and full of emotion. “How could I not?”

They talked a bit about Mom... just a little bit. Shay didn’t push too hard. Dad opening up even just that much was more than she expected.

After that, they teamed up to do some dusting and sweeping. They unpacked some of the boxed stuff and put them away.

Then, Dad found the basket of gifts. He shifted the fruits around for a bit, probably looking for the usual gift of booze. (Sorry, Dad. Your daughter knows you best.)

He found the gift card in the red envelope, though, and that cheered him up. So Dad walked her to the parking lot and he fired up his old Japanese sedan-- still running fine, despite being almost as old as she was.

Shay heard Tyvan talk about the Steak-Out with Raia in passing. He made it sound like a mid-end restaurant. However, the way Dad stared at the decor and the way his eyes bulged, looking at the menu...

Tyvan might have had a warped sense of restaurant quality. And... Dad probably didn’t get out much.

A waiter came with a small loaf of bread on a cutting board, (sourdough!) Dad tried to tell him they didn’t order that. That was embarrassing because she and the waiter had to explain it was complimentary.

Dad was really clueless. If not that, then... maybe she became a spoiled rich girl without realizing it.

Dinner talk was... okay. There was a lot of silent moments. Dad was... a quiet, shy person, in general. Shay thought she was too-- but she was a little better than he was.

Eventually, they started talking about work. Dad had a lot to say on his side, though most of it was essentially complaining about the younger LEO’s.

Conversely, Shay couldn’t tell Dad too much about most of her duties because of her NDA. The only thing she could talk about was helping Yeonha clean. Even though she was, arguably, mostly a janitor... she didn’t want her dad to think that.

That was dumb, though, and she knew it. Janitors served a super-important role in civilized society!

But, anyway... what she could talk about was her co-workers (who were also her closest friends.) She told Dad all about Yeonha and Heidi (and Raia.)

And... maybe it was the cop in him, but Dad got suspicious when she mentioned her boss.

“So how old is this guy?”

“I... I dunno,” Shay said, nibbling at her lip. “He’s young, though! Early 20’s maybe?”

Dad crinkled up his face, deepening the stress lines on his forehead.

“Stick with school, Shay. Guys are no good, I mean-- look at me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Dad. Don’t talk crap about the guy Mom married.”

Dad’s eyes widened like he didn’t expect her to go there. And why wouldn’t she? Mom was clearly his weak point.

“That... that’s different,” he tried to argue.

“How is it different?” Shay said-- maybe a bit too smugly.

Dad let out a sigh and offered a small smile. “Y’know... I could never win arguments against your mother, either.”

The food came, saving Shay from the silence that was sure to come after that. They got steaks! When you go to a steakhouse, you get steaks. They got different sides, though. Dad got a fully loaded baked potato, with butter, chopped tomatoes, sour cream, chives, and two whole slices of bacon. And she... she got the steamed veggies.

“Enjoy your meal,” the waiter said.

“You too,” Shay replied automatically.

The waiter smiled awkwardly, not saying anything before running away.

Ah...

Yes...

Good job, Shay.

After a little bit of ‘ooh’s and ‘oh, this is good’s, Dad started asking about Tyvan again.

“So this boss of yours... he’s some rich kid?”

“I guess,” Shay said, “I don’t know if he’s rich, really-- but I’ve never seen him without a suit.”

“So you see him sometimes outside of office hours,” Dad said in a flat tone.

Bleigh. Of course~

It was Dad’s job to connect statements and see unspoken truths.

Shay had to be careful, as he kept trying to delve.

Dad twirled his fork around his thumb, then leaned forward, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Shay... does he do drugs?”