I Wish You Were Never Reborn

Tyvan Valorum stared into the bloated warrior’s gaze, expecting an answer yet receiving none.

Had he botched his pronunciation? No-- he repeated what Li Yin had taught him perfectly. (The only Chinese he knew other than that was ‘ni hao.’) Something else must have been wrong. Perhaps he couldn’t be heard over the din of the crowd?

But before Tyvan could ask a third time, he sensed a young woman sprinting toward him at full speed.

Yan Xue wore a stunning hanfu: a crimson outer vest with dark sleeves, and a red skirt with gold patterns. It wasn’t quite as intricate as Plum’s, but it was a martial uniform-- and one he found pleasing to his aesthetics.

“Yan Xue,” he said, “please ask this person--”

The young lady leapt up, swinging a telegraphed punch at his head. He slipped the blow without thinking much of it.

After she landed, she locked her arms around him in a tight embrace. Hm. Good move. He stopped himself from throwing her off, as he found the embrace rather pleasant.

It was an invasion of his personal space-- yet he wasn’t averse to it as if she were a different human. How peculiar. He returned her embrace with his non-dominant arm.

Yan Xue looked up with a tearful smile before breaking away. She approached the martial artists in the Zhang booth, performed a Chinese salute, and shouted a strung-together phrase in Mandarin.

“Qing yuánliàng wo de wèihūnqī!!”

Then, she grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

Tyvan allowed it. He could better rely on answers from her and her kin, anyroad.

Once he made it to what he assumed was the Song family staging area, he bowed politely to the other martial warriors, greeting them with ‘ni hao’s. They willfully ignored him, turning away but otherwise providing no comment.

...Did ‘ni hao’ not mean what he thought it meant?

He sat down in the empty seat next to Shay, re-examining what little he knew of Chinese culture.

“Tyvan!” Shay said, “What are you doing here?!?”

Tyvan smiled politely, “I missed you.”

Ah. That wasn’t what he meant to say. He didn’t even say it politely.

Shay continued to stare with her jaw hung open, looking decidedly unladylike. Tyvan pressed his finger underneath her chin, closing her mouth for her, as was proper.

“How did you even get in?!” she asked, “With you being-- you know.”

Tyvan pursed his lips. He had no idea as to what she was referring to. Was she referring to the sword on his waist?

“I greeted the guards at the entrance. I gave them my name and they granted me passage.”

“tHat’s iTtt?!?”

“...Yes?”

Resounding booms came from the direction of the arena. The fighters had engaged, the older gentleman screaming a boisterous warcry that riled Tyvan’s battle spirit.

It had been a great deal of time since Tyvan had witnessed a life-or-death battle, and he was looking forward to it.

...Unfortunately, despite the Song fighter’s confidence and apparent skill, his blows glanced off ineffectively against the larger fellow’s muscles.

“Oh, no,” Shay mewled, “Grandpa...”

Tyvan nodded in understanding. So the older man was Song Wei. He furrowed his brows. Wasn’t that person the leader of the Song faction? Shouldn’t he have been fighting the other leader?

Wei yelled something in Mandarin that sounded very dramatic. Tyvan wanted to ask Shay what it meant, but she was too busy watching the fight in abject despair.

Suddenly, lightning struck the arena.

Ah.

Tyvan crossed his arms and sighed as disappointment set in. His most reliable Merlin had been wrong about the weather.

The lightning struck Wei’s opponent-- not that it did any lasting damage. Was that perhaps not a natural occurrence, but a martial skill? No... he doubted that.

According to Ivalice, the martial warriors of ❴Hidden Village❵ should have been capable of harnessing ⌈Divine Lightning.⌋ What Tyvan had witnessed, however, was merely... regular lightning.

The longer Song Wei’s match went, the worse his prospects. Wei was utilising far more stamina than his opponent, and despite his physique and condition, his age was a limiting factor.

Tyvan shook his head. If nothing changed, the Song family head would fall.

“Grandpa!” Shay yelled, “Don’t die!!!”

“Yan Xue, what is the name of your grandfather’s opponent?”

“I uh... I dunno?” Shay said, “Chengxin or Chenmin, I think?”

Those names... were different from the one his least-favourite Merlin provided.

Tyvan shut his eyes and loosed a frustrated groan.

“Hmph, ⌈As You Were.⌋”

Shay kept her eyes open, trying not to cry.

Grandpa took a tremendous fist to his stomach. He slid backward with the momentum, but his chest was heaving with desperate breaths and his entire body was covered in sweat.

But then... something changed.

His opponent froze. Chengxin or Chenmin or whoever he was-- he stood still for the first time in the match.

Was... was that the effect of Grandpa’s hEavenLy lightning fist?!

That. was. AWESOME!!!

Grandpa Wei charged forward with a mighty battle roAr and he started a combo of lightning-punches and lightning-kicks!

It was brutal! It was glorious! Shay grabbed Tyvan’s hand and hopped up and down in her seat, she was so happy.

Then she let go and composed herself. She was dressed up, her twin ponytails tied perfectly, and with her actions potentially seen by every important Chinese-person in Archangel.

So, she daintily placed her hand back on top of Tyvan’s, “Isn’t this nice?”

“Let’s get dinner after this,” Tyvan replied, not even bothering to open his eyes.

It was a little rude, but Shay didn’t mind that side of him. She leaned her head against his arm, feeling more content than she’d felt in weeks, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

After Grandpa won his fight, he postured to the crowd and started yelling. It wasn’t anything intelligible-- just a bunch of guttural sounds.

Oh, but Tyvan was nodding. Since he understood it, maybe Grandpa was speaking manly man-speak.

Of course, the Zhang family was furious.

“(I don’t know what you did, you crazy old blockhead!)” yelled Zhang Jinyan, “(But my Zhang family REFUSES to accept it!!)”

“(Luck is also a kind of strength,)” Grandpa Wei said, laughing as he turned his back to them and swaggered back to the booth.

“Xioxue!” he yelled, “Did you see THAT?”

He flexed his scarred pecs and biceps-- which might have looked cool if his face hadn’t started to swell up, “Your grandpa’s a BADASS!”

“You won, Grandpa!” Shay smiled happily.

“Should we get this man some medical attention?” Tyvan suggested, “or a jacket?”

Grandpa Wei grimaced, looking the strange not-Chinese-man over. Then, he looked over to Shay.

“(This is the man you said you wanted to marry?)” he said in Chinese.

Shay felt her face turn redder than her skirt. How did he know?! Was it that obvious!?

Tyvan stood up and introduced himself. The two shook hands. They said something too, but Shay couldn’t hear it over what she imagined was whistling steam coming out of her ears.

Oh. Tyvan was actually taller. Huh.

--but he was wearing shoes and Grandpa wasn’t, so maybe they were the same height?

“(Xiaoxue,)” Grandpa said, “(Why are his eyes closed?)”

Shay gasped in realization. She cupped her hand over Tyvan’s eyes and lifted an eyelid.

His eyes were glowing with golden light! That meant he’d just used one of his magic spells. (Ah-- and she actually touched his eyes... kinda.)

Oh...

But that... explained why Grandpa won. She felt his gaze on her, but she tried not to look back.

“Xiaoxue?” he said, sounding puzzled.

“It’s nothing, Grandpa,” Shay lied.

Thankfully, Grandpa didn’t pry. He walked behind the row of chairs and started bragging to the other martial disciples.

Meanwhile, Shay kept her voice low and started whispering to Tyvan.

“Tyvan! Did you cast a spell just now?”

“...No?” he said, his eyes still closed.

“Did you cast a spell like-- a few minutes ago? Something that can disable the Zhangs’ super-saiyan 2 buff?!”

“Yes, to the first question,” he replied. “And... I’m not... entirely certain of the second, but-- likely, also yes.”

Shay pumped her fists excitedly. With Tyvan on the Song family’s side, they were going to win for sure! That made her not even want to question how he found her in the first place! And she was really curious about that!

That happiness was short-lived, though. The Zhang family sent up their fourth fighter.

It was her classmate, Ed.

He was big and bulky, just like the other Zhang warriors, but she still recognized him by his stupid face and stupid, spiky hair. Remembering the nasty rumor about him and his master, Andy, made her insides twist and rumble.

“Is something wrong?” Tyvan asked quietly.

Shay didn’t really want to say... but she needed to complain to someone.

“That’s Ed of the Luo family... and he’s a dis-gusting creep.”

“Ed, you say,” Tyvan said, tilting his head, “Full name, Edward?”

“Yeah,” Shay nodded-- not that he could see it. She kept doing that. “Ed and a bunch of other guys got caught in the locker room looking at porn... and... you know.”

“You’re referring to... pornographic material?” Tyvan asked, “Is that... normal behaviour for men in contemporary culture?”

“I dunno, probably.”

It sounded like Tyvan didn’t do that sort of thing. That lifted a weight off of her mind that she didn’t even know she had.

Grandpa Wei sent Pingping to the arena. He was the strongest fighter remaining-- and with Tyvan’s help, he could win for sure!

“You can do it, Martial Uncle!” Shay yelled before turning to Tyvan, “Okay, Tyvan, do the thing. Please tell me it’s not situational and inconvenient to do the thing.”

Tyvan turned to face her, his eyes still closed, “If you’re asking me to use magic to return Mister Luo to a more-human state, I cannot. The spell I used earlier requires observation of the recipient before and after their transformation.”

Shay’s eyes widened.

Oh, no! Uncle Pingping was going to die!

The crowd and the Zhangs knew it just as well.

--”(So the Songs have eyes but still can’t see Mount Tai!!)”

--”(This will have a bloody ending!)”

--”(Don’t they know who they’re fighting?? The youngest Luo son is the rising dragon of the current generation!)”

It seemed Martial Uncle Pingping was not a popular man.

And... she had no idea, but apparently, Ed had a certain reputation in the martial circle.

“What are they saying?” Tyvan asked politely.

Shay sighed and stared at the floor... at the spot where Grandpa Wei dented the ground.

“They’re saying that Ed is called the dragon of his family,” she sighed. “and we have no chance of winning...”

She started mentally preparing herself for defeat. It seemed that Tyvan forgave her for everything... so she could maybe at least go back to Elysium.

But Grandpa...

“Tyvan,” she said, looking up.

--but he was gone?