I Wish You Were Never Reborn

Tyvan left the public house as the value in discourse began to wane. After Briar Rose had returned, she insisted upon drinking thrice as much as was reasonable to... prove her worth or somesuch.

Whatever social obligation she sought to fulfill, he wasn’t privy to the particulars.

Also, Tyvan was hungry. Pretzels and fried breads could only sate his hunger for so long.

Returning to Elysium, his mind remained lightly clouded-- not so much by the inebriants, but by the high spirits of his companions.

The rise of power in Archangel did not occur in a vacuum. And when the interests of already-established parties came under threat, perceived or actual... complications would inevitably arise.

Such was the cycle. He knew it well, And even if his companions did not, they at least knew to savour peace and predictability as well as they could.

Tyvan stepped out into the courtyard to appreciate his domain, his fortress. Compared to his previous world, the light from the stars above were practically nonexistent. Reflective white stones were sprinkled in amongst the flagstone pavers, catching the light from the modern electric bulbs.

The flowers and shrubberies were healthy and thriving, yet trim... so well that he almost expected to see the ever-lovely Heidi and her favourite parasol. Their care was guided, not merely by eccentric and isolationist fae and faun-blood, but by centuries of botanical research and commercially available formulations.

So much was different from what he was accustomed to. Yet some things would never change. The scent of nature calmed his heart. The mana in the air, concentrated by the formations in and around the complex, envigorated his senses.

A nostalgic figure sat alone at the centre of the gardens. Yan Xue half-laid upon the circular glass table, her chin resting on a closed, upright book.

Still in her jeans. She hadn’t changed clothes from earlier. She’d also removed much of her makeup, her scent a touch more natural-- more truthful.

He approached her, gesturing at the chair opposite.

“Good evening. May I take this seat?”

Yan Xue sat up straight, her book flopping aside and tumbling off the table edge. Tyvan naturally grabbed it as it fell.

“Y-you may,” she mumbled. “Good evening.”

Tyvan sat across from her, laying her book flat and secure on the table surface.

“You prefer the company of the moonlit flowers on nights like these?”

The young lady’s gaze drifted away...

“I’m used to less,” she said. “Honestly... just a few weeks ago, I thought I actually liked being alone.”

“People are a valuable resource,” Tyvan nodded.

Yan Xue shook her head before granting him the pleasure of a soft smile.

That was a good sign, considering the various stressors she’d endured earlier in the evening.

“Did you purge?” she asked.

“I did not. I take care not to drink in excess.”

The remark garnered a light, feminine giggle-- a comforting sound.

“I was so scared tonight,” she said... “of getting hurt... of losing you.”

Was she? He didn’t recall either of them being exposed to any degree of danger.

Yan Xue looked up, that gentle smile of hers mixed with other emotions that Tyvan lacked the social intelligence to comprehend.

“Thank you for what you did.”

Tyvan nodded, forcing a polite smile to reinforce his acknowledgment. He did not know what he was being thanked for, but as a gentleman, it was better to accept a compliment than to ask for clarification.

Ah, however--

“I hope to hear something else aside from your gratitude.”

“And I’m sorry,” she added, “it was dumb of me to sneak into a bar with a fake ID.”

Tyvan attempted to relax into the metal chair, its floral design more for aesthetics than for comfort. “Of course, I’m concerned with the illegality of the matter... but, Yan Xue, please refrain from doing anything potentially dangerous. Or at least inform me or Briar Rose beforehand.”

She nodded. Good. It was imperative that she understand at least that.

A cold and bitter guilt assailed his heart. Yan Xue had proven to be an unwelcome variable. And his recklessness and lack of foresight were solely to blame.

All beings deserved to live, (with a few notable exceptions.) Further and from a selfish perspective, he loathed the thought of her death on his conscience.

She’d proven her cleverness, but ultimately, she was weak, untrained-- lacking in relevant knowledge and magic power.

She was merely human.

Yet, in the distant past, on a continent unknown to anyone, anywhere in his current world... the young woman was one of his trusted wartime companions.

The her from before had her mettle seasoned by battle... with swords, spells, and the rudimentary bullets of that era.

Her loyalty had been tried and tested against burning, six-winged, thousand-eyed monsters and their corrupt gods.

By the whimsical cruelty of the fates, she was returned to him.

But he... could not accept her.

The wars were over. She had served. And it would be remiss of him to allow her to be enmeshed in a new war, not of her choosing.

“Tyvan,” she said... “what is... the Kingdom?”

Tyvan took a breath and closed his eyes. That, she had no need to know.

However, it was no great secret. And he did hold an immense pride in everything he and his associates had accomplished thus far.

“It is... an organisation, in which I claim membership.”

“And Bishop and Raia?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“And Yeonha?”

Tyvan tilted his head. Where was she leading the conversation?

“Err... also, yes-- but on a technicality.”

“Heidi too,” she said, more pointedly.

“...By association, yes. That’s correct.”

Yan Xue took a deep breath through her nose.

“...But not me.”

Tyvan steepled his fingers. She understood the situation well. Yet he sensed her displeasure at the notion.

Perhaps. It was an educated guess.

Yan Xue looked up. Her expression twisted. She gnawed at her lip.

“I... want to learn magic.”

Tyvan narrowed his eyes.

“Unnecessary.”

“But I... but Bishop said--”

Yan Xue stared down into the open palm of her right hand.

Tyvan took a breath to calm himself. No. He could never allow that. Allowing her to regain the strength of her former life would both endanger her and impel Merlin’s prophecy.

Logically, he could neither fault nor admonish her for the request. It was an innocuous desire. Knowledge. Power. Humans craved such things instinctually. However, he still had to reject her in no uncertain terms.

“Shay. You... are human. You don’t need to learn magic.”

He gauged her response. It looked overwhelmingly negative, her lips touched with a light quiver, and her body language withdrawn.

“Most humans have nothing to do with what you or I would call magic,” he explained, “Yet they live full, complete lives, all the same. When they die, it is in their beds, surrounded by friends and loved ones.”

He was tempted to detail the grisly ends of those otherwise, but he surmised Yan Xue understood the message unspoken.

“But... I know too much,” she said. “My... my friend died. And... and I’m starting to forget... the sound of his voice, the curve of his smile...”

Tyvan placed his palms on the table, leaning forward.

“I. expressly. forbid it.”

Yan Xue looked up at him in shock.

Tyvan realised, after the fact, that he’d raised his voice.

Did the young lady’s segue in topic irk him so? Was it because she mentioned... death?

Hmph. No matter.

There was more he wanted to say.

He wanted to demand that she live with care-- to err toward safety and longevity. He wanted to appeal to her lost memories, to say that the her that was erased would have wanted as such.

He wanted to tell her that he cared about her well-being and loathed the notion of risking her life on his behalf for selfish and negligible benefits.

He sat back down in his seat.

“I told Esha that I’d take care of you. I promised her you... wouldn’t do drugs or... be forced to work against your will.”

Yan Xue... the warmth in her gaze seemed to seep away, leaving a cool stare.

“Who... is Esha?”

The ominous shift in her tone and demeanor was not lost on him. But the reason...?

“Esha Ansari,” he said. “She is one of your instructors, is she not?”

“H-how do you know Miss Ansari?”

Tyvan tilted his head. “I believe... we first met at a supermarket. It’s been...”

Yan Xue didn’t wait to hear the answer. She stood up, her chair nearly tipping over.

She said nothing.

She did not meet his gaze.

Tyvan had obviously done or said something wrong. Their conversation included Briar Rose. It included Yeonha and Bishop and Heidi. Something was different about mentioning Esha-- but what?

Esha considered Yan Xue her favourite student. She had nothing but praise and adoration for the young lady.

Were those feelings... not mutual?

Yan Xue snatched her book off the table.

“It’s past my bedtime.”

“...So it is,” Tyvan nodded.

He stood up, pushing his chair back in, as was common etiquette, “Would you allow me to walk you to your--”

“I’m fine!” she snapped.

Tyvan pursed his lips. It was somewhat residuary of an offer. Yan Xue’s room was a brief walk across the courtyard. Elysium Heights was the safest place in Archangel. And her safety was further secured by the fact that his own residence was merely several bounds away.

“Very well,” he said... “Shay.”

“What?” she mumbled, her eyes staring at the dirt.

Tyvan cursed his lack of emotional intelligence. She was clearly and thoroughly discontent. He felt the need to apologise, but... to do so thoughtlessly risked vexing her further.

He sighed. Worse still, his personal circumstances would delay potential rectification for some time.

“I’ll be gone for a few suns-- a week at most,” he said... “Please stay out of trouble.”

Yan Xue’s expression twisted in an uncomfortable fashion. But she gave a slow nod that signaled her understanding.

That would do.

Tyvan bowed politely.

“Good evening.”