NOVEL WEB I will strive beyond this cursed bloodline!
Chapter 20: [Rossie] 1 – The void in my heart
My name is Rosalina Singh and I'm an orphan.
I was abandoned in an orphanage ruled by a local mob when I was 2 years old.
They never quite told me why, since my biological mother gave quite a hefty sum of money so no records would stay. I know that since the caretakers would keep me well-fed and with good clothes... For a while.
After two years they noticed how my mother didn't come back for me, and neither my father searched so they stopped caring for my well-being.
Most of the other kids already hated me at this point so they would point and mock, the little brats.
My days from then on were filled with bruises and scolding, the bruises went mostly to places where they wouldn't be noticed. If not the caretakers would scold the other kids.
That was a lesson they learned quickly enough, and since I had been well fed early they didn't care if I ate well at this point.
It was... Normal. For me, it was average at best. I could read fairy tails and watch TV in the evenings even, so I could see how everyone else lived their lives.
That was my first contact with the world of Magical Girls and their bright and shining world. That was the first time I noticed how...Dull my own world was.
A shabby bed ruined toys and dirty teddy bears.
Looking back at it from an outsider's perspective it really looked awful. But it was the Magic on the TV that changed all.
You see, the other girls imitated their dance and poses but none tried to imitate their attitude.
That was how I decided to try and imitate their cheerful personality and their bright smiles.
Even if my world was tainted in gray and black tones... Maybe if I smiled and acted as brightly as possible then something would change.
Under that belief, I continued living my life.
Nothing really changed. I smiled while they mocked me. I smiled while they hit me. I smiled while they threw my stuff in the mud under the rain. I smiled while they took my food and clothes away.
Under all of it, the only thing that never changed was my smile.
Like that, I perfected my new self. The bright and cheerful girl with a golden smile that would melt your heart.
This lasted almost three years, then somehow a family stumbled into the orphanage searching for a girl to adopt.
They had just lost their only daughter and wanted a new one to raise. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't give a kid to someone like that right?
Well, this wasn't a normal orphanage, so I was sold to them as their new child.
The family was okay even and lucky enough most of the clothes their deceased child used fit me well enough. Funnily enough, the kid also loved magical girls.
So my current love for them was even better. The only thing that changed for me was that I didn't get hit anymore and I could eat to my fill.
Like this, I spent the rest of my childhood and most of my early teen years.
Until one day in school, they tried testing us to see if we were apts for either Hero or Magical Training.
And lo and behold. I had an affinity for magic.
Most of the girls in my 'Friend group' shrieked like they were going to be the new magical girls.
And of course, I was the one that shrieked the hardest and in the lower possible tone achievable for mankind. To be honest at this point that was the real magic.
My worldview was still gray, and the girls that were my friends only made me think the world was darker than black some days. How can they insult someone on their back one day and then cry a river with them the next? Girl, you engineered that situation, why are you crying too?
I was happy enough to leave that school and searched with my adoptive parents for a school. They wanted to send me to the biggest and more popular school of magick they found in some weird castle in England.
But... To be honest I didn't want to live in the mountains in an old church. So when I found the MPI... Well, the prospect of finding a school that taught not only magic but to powered people (And the prospect of knowing a future villain) was enough for me to come here. Also, the rumors I fabricated about the top magical girl taking an interest in this school helped.
That was a hard part of it, had to engineer it well enough that the rumor came to my parents from outside sources so they would accept.
Now after a teary-eyed goodbye in a party with all my 'Friends' and another teary-eyed display on the station I was good to start my new life!
The next part was harder to remember since at some point I was standing in a clearing surrounded by other students. Somehow in my new uniform and with a pamphlet in hand. Also, I was emptying my stomach on the floor with everyone else, at least we were far enough that no one else got in anyone's way.
The bright side of this was that the contents of my stomach (And everyone else) dissipated like magic after we finished.
Some students were like me wondering how they got here while others just were stoic (Or pretending to be).
After a few minutes, I found out how we got here since a new girl showed up after a magic circle popped into existence near an open spot.
Then...It all changed.
The person? That doesn't do justice. The being? Too broad of a word.
The Goddess? Eh, close enough.
The goddess that showed up was different from everyone else. With her, a new wave of students popped into existence. She was so different from everyone else.
Unlike the others (And us) that came with her, she didn't empty her stomach for one. She didn't even bother to read the pamphlet either, choosing to tuck away the pamphlet into one of her pockets.
She just was standing there, a quick gaze of her azure eyes to her surroundings was all she did. She didn't judge or mocked those that were emptying their stomachs like I was just a second ago.
She didn't even send those fake pitying gazes nor pretend they weren't there. She acknowledged them and walked away to give them space.
She walked like a princess...No like a Queen and found an empty spot to wait for the next to happen.
Soon enough the world started to gain color with her at the center of it. The heart in my chest that never bothered to move was suddenly pounding and even though my stomach should be empty... I could feel something on it trying to escape and go to her side.
I could understand the description of poets those annoying girls liked to read.
Her body looked as if it was sculpted by the gods themselves, her clothes spoke of perfection and balance. We all were wearing the same uniform but somehow she looked better. Her hair which had the appearance of someone that just woke up didn't diminish her looks. It just gave her the appearance of someone approachable, contrasting with how much care she took in her looks.
Her perfect face had just the right amount of a smile forming on her face. And I know about smiles, all my life was spent perfecting the right one for the right occasion. But that smile... That goddammed smile...
So before knowing what I was doing, I found myself near the goddess. And she was... So normal, so approachable... SO CUTE.
She spoke to me like normal, and I found myself smiling for real for the first time in my life.
She didn't pity me when I spoke of being adopted, she didn't even flinch when I grabbed her hand.
So after praying to the gods of magick for the first time in my life...I found a blessing, for I was sharing a room with her! Well, an apartment, but it's almost the same!
That day I couldn't sleep. The thought of Elizabeth sleeping in the other room kept me awake all night.
So when I found her in a pool of blood I was scared beyond belief.
SHE COULDN'T DIE!
The thought of it was enough that almost as if she had done it before she raised a hand in the direction of the blonde and a magical circle came into being that stabilized her breathing.
Later on, she was questioned about who casted high-tier healing on the patient without authorization. Of course, I didn't admit to a thing!
Who would believe a student on her first day in school could cast such a thing.
So when Elizabeth woke up and said she should study healing magick it was a surprise!
She was indeed a goddess! How could she know if not because of her divine heritage!
But she had to be sure...
So when Elizabeth returned to their apartment (DAFFDASDFLKASD)...So when she returned to her apartment, I was stalking.
Making sure she was fine, not just peeking at her adorable face while she was sleeping!
And most importantly. I wasn't almost caught when she woke up earlier!
... Also I didn't go into the bathroom to peek at her naked...
I went in because she was taking too long and I worried for her!
Truly!
That I got a peek at her perfect figure that the uniform doesn't do justice was just a nice side note!
Either way, I digress on this.
The school was nice and the classes nicer. But since Elizabeth had powered classes besides magical ones I couldn't be with her all day.
Since our morning classes were different. I got extra magical ones for theory while she studied powered stuff.
Apparently, Elizabeth had previous knowledge of magic and so she didn't need the extra classes. Truly a being beyond the mortal understanding.
And now you might be wondering. Rossie, what does this even have anything to do with your speech?
Well you see, the first thing we got taught in magic was about the Soulscape. The reflection of the soul.
They always say that. And the magical girls in the interview always say that magic comes from the soul.
So when we tried to dive into the soulscape in class what I found was... Interesting.
I thought I would find a wasteland or a monochrome world.
Instead, I found my room.
Not the room at my adoptive parents.
Not the vague memory of a room I have of the earliest memories of when I was a baby.
No.
The room in the orphanage that I got while they thought my Biological Mother would return.
The old bed and chest of toys.
And a picture, a picture of my biological parents with their faces torn away.
This was my soulscape.
A tiny room shrouded in darkness, a single window in the room that showcased a deep void. And a door that wouldn't open.
On the desk was my old diary open up and showing a complex set of inscriptions and a fading magic circle, the same one that showed up when Elizabeth was dying on her bed.
Somehow I could understand the contents but wouldn't be able to reproduce it. I knew I couldn't reproduce it right now. At the bottom was a single note that said: "My last gift to you, might it serve you well".
And in the wardrobe a single dress. A pink one with heart motifs, it was the ideal dress for a magical girl, it even came with earrings and all.
So of course I put it on and posed in front of the mirror.
After doing so the door finally made a clicking noise and it was wide open, and on the outside was the classroom and my goddess, my new best friend, and the person that brought color to my world. Elizabeth Starbright.
After returning from the soulscape I found myself in the same dress that I had put on and Elizabeth in one dress that... It didn't suit her, it looked nice on her, but darker colors didn't suit her at all!
Of course, I kept that opinion to myself and complimented her. She looked quite well with dark colors and the gold accents just brought her regal aura more. But it wasn't the right tone for her.
The class went on and on, and I think the teacher wanted to chastise us for succeeding on the first try?
I don't know.
She did dispel our transformation.
I think someone else succeeded too? But I wasn't paying attention. It wasn't relevant.
The important thing was that I had something in common with Elizabeth!
Later on, we carried on with the day and spent time in the library.
I was too busy studying the books so when Elizabeth went away to meditate I didn't put too much thought into it.
I wanted success, and if she was going to go for a darker thematic...I would need to find how to alter my outfit to compliment hers... Maybe a white tone?
I would love to dye my hair, but since it is pink... Darker colors don't match me.
Altering appearance is also high-tier magic, so it was beyond my understanding...
Ugh.....
In the end, I only found notes about how to slowly tweak your perception in the soulscape to alter the outfit.
So with heavy steps, I went to meditate and try to alter the outfit.
Imagine my surprise when Elizabeth had completely altered her outfit!
In front of my goddess was a projection of herself sitting in the same position even!
Only, the reflection had shorter hair, her face was somehow more cute-ish and her eyes had the whole cosmos on them!
Her darker outfit was nice and all (And her eyes had stars on them!) but this one...
This one was perfect.
It was all I wanted for her outfit, cute blue pastel tones, and nice decorations and it was simple enough that it brought together her body lines quite well.
Sadly, after a few seconds, the projection disappeared and fused with her body.
I think the gods took pity on me and brought me at this exact point.
Either way, she didn't exit her meditation so maybe she was building herself a few spells?
It didn't matter either way... I needed to meditate and build (Or edit) my outfit too!
So without any fanfare, I laid my body in the comfiest position achievable for mankind.
I put my head on Elizabeth's blessed thighs!
What? It was comfy, if you disagree go and eat dirt!
And it worked quite well since after looking at her beautiful face and closing my eyes with that image I was back in my soulscape.
Only it was...Different?
Somehow it was more... Bright?
The void that was on my window now had a few stars dotting the sky.
Raining warmth light in the room.
And my diary now had a couple of pens near it, one with a heart motif and another one with a star motif.
The diary with a pink heart was on the desk and my outfit was in the wardrobe.
A sewing box near the wardrobe and my whole focus is to rebuild the outfit to match the blue pastel of Elizabeth's outfit.
I would match her outfit and bring her the love and attention she deserves.
The whole world would be at her feet either in adoration or in supplications.
That I swear.
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