I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

Chapter 20



When Fernan, dressed in casual clothes, arrived in the dining room, Julia did not look at him as she usually did.

This was because Julia's mind was now filled with the voice of Cornelia, whom she came across in front of Fernan’s private mansion.

Until he sat down and the attendants served him food, Julia only looked at the table in a daze.

"Are you not feeling well again?”

The sudden sound of Fernan’s voice brought her out of her reverie.

Turning her gaze to him, Julia shook her head as she looked at him sitting across from her.

"Then why don't you try some?”

At this moment, Julia bit her lips with Fernan’s unusually soft voice.

She wanted to remove her heart, which pounded like a habit even in this situation.

She already knew very well that he would divorce her one day. But she was trying to accept it in her own way.

Still, she felt lonely and sad at the same time that he was already planning to leave me. Even though she knew that she didn't deserve that.

After making an effort to change her expression, Julia started eating like it was nothing.

Meanwhile, her wounded heart was endlessly quieted.

***

Before she knew it, early winter was approaching. In the meantime, the garden was repaired and a greenhouse was built in the vacant lot.

Julia walked into the greenhouse and stared at the snowflakes dancing through the transparent glass.

"Are you sure you just want to order these?"

Bennett, standing next to her, checked the order list and asked with a questionable face. Julia nodded silently.

She was going to fill this greenhouse with nothing but lilies.

There was no deep meaning to it. She just wanted to leave at least one trace of her in this castle.

"Ah, Grand Duke."

As Julia turned at Bennett's words, she saw Fernan entering the greenhouse.

He took a quick step forward and sat down casually on the other side of Julia.

Julia watched him in silence, but then quietly opened her mouth.

“Are you here to see the greenhouse?"

"No.”

"Then…"

Fernan looked through the window pane without replying. Julia carved such a profile into her eyes.

Recently, Fernan started to be quite gentle with her.

He would casually visit her and sit in silence, or even suggest that they have dinner together once in a while.

Julia attributed the reason for his attitude to one last act of kindness on his part.

He was not a man who fit the word kind….but it felt good to think that way. 

Julia decided to just enjoy the moment.

She didn't want to waste her last moment with him, crying, hurting, and resenting.

“I'm going to plant a lot of lilies in this greenhouse.”

"…."

“It's my… my favorite flower."

Fernan wouldn’t be interested in this nonsense, but there was nothing Julia could do because it was her last time.

Julia continued to talk in an unfittingly cheerful tone.

“It's nice to have a lot of snow here. When I lived in the capital, I had to wear thin dresses in the winter because of the high temperatures."

Fernan stared at her. She blinked her long eyelashes slowly, a small smile on her face.

“I don't think it's been long since I've been here, but time has already passed so quickly."

So much had happened in that time. So many things had changed, but the only thing that remained the same was her heart.

There had been times she resented him, but she had always loved him. It was still as true now as ever.

Julia smiled quietly, making eye contact with him. The corners of the eyes curved gently, and the sea-blue eyes shone softly.

Fernan’s eyes widened for a moment as he gazed at her. He quickly averted his gaze.

"… You talk a lot today.”

"I guess it's because it's snowing, and I'm excited."

Fernan’s mouth lifted in a small smile at her gentle voice.

“….like a child."

They looked at different places. Each with a smile that meant something different.

Loneliness oozed from Julia's lips. She felt as if they were an ordinary couple, sitting together like this, having a conversation.

Julia knew it was a meaningless time for Fernan, but this time was so precious to her, even just for a moment.

****

"Your Highness, why did you do that? It could have been a good opportunity."

When Lloyd learned that Fernan had turned down Duke Blair's proposal, he couldn’t understand his decision.

Unable to hide the questionable expression on his face, Lloyd continued to speak. 

“Even if you don't want to do it now, you should take your time to decide.”

Duke Blair was also the head of the aristocratic faction. But he came in with his pride bent, so did Fernan have to refuse so bluntly?

"It wouldn't be a bad idea to have an insurance policy beforehand, just in case things go wrong.”

"Shut your mouth.”

Fernan answered as if he was annoyed. Lloyd kept his mouth shut, but still couldn't understand his Lord.

Fernan had said long ago that he would end this marriage with the Grand Duchess when the time was right.

It was only natural. The marriage was forced without a single word of Fernan’s will.

But, what kind of a change of heart would cause him to suddenly decide not to divorce her?

"…but I don't think the Duke of Blair will give up easily."

Lloyd gave a small mumble. He was going to ask Fernan if he should consider it again, but Fernan turned over one document and intercepted the words.

"I just refuse, that's it."

"…"

Lloyd looked at Fernan, and shook his head in disbelief.

For what it's worth, Fernan was very strange right now. How could he not divorce the daughter of the Marquis he despised so much when the chance was handed to him?

His lord was not a man who changed his mind so quickly. 

He was a man who always made accurate judgments, who planned with certainty, and who never changed his mind, no matter what.

‘Don't tell me he’s got a crush on her or something.’

“Your Highness, could it be that ………?"

Lloyd, who opened his mouth carefully, soon stared at Fernan with a puzzled face.

It was because Fernan was looking out the window and smiling.

Just a slight one, but not a sneer or a cynical smile, but one that came from the heart ….

Lloyd blinked in dismay as he followed his gaze and looked out the window.

“…Why are you smiling so much while watching the snow fall?”

"…Huh?"

Lloyd's complexion changed terribly. His lord was now like a man half obsessed with something. Be very firm about that too.

Fernan continued to stare out the window until Lloyd shook his head with a shocked look on his face, and eventually dropped his gaze at the documents on the table.

A report on the demon invasion that occurred at the border was intensified.

He didn’t know for sure, but it seemed strange. It seemed like someone was releasing a large amount of demons.

Fernan signed the document saying that he would be visiting the border in the near future, and handed it to Lloyd.

At the same time, Julia was welcoming the Marquis, who made a sudden visit to the Grand Duke’s castle.

She was flustered when she saw her father, who came to visit her without saying a word, but hurriedly showed him to the reception room.

The Marquis, who acted no differently than usual, suddenly slapped Julia when the surroundings became quiet.

Julia, who stumbled greatly, grabbed her hot cheek and looked up at the Marquis in a daze. The frowning Marquis, who had lost his good looks, shouted in an angry voice. Julia's lips trembled.

"What on earth have you been doing? What did you do that made the Grand Duke do such a crazy thing!" 

"What do you mean…"

Unable to finish her words, she stopped speaking. She hadn't seen the Marquis this angry in a long time. Her hands began to tremble.

After struggling for a long time, the Marquis soon cleared his breath and spat out word by word. 

"The Grand Duke met with another family. Do you know what that means?"

"…"

“It means that he is looking for a new marriage partner to break up this marriage."

When Julia didn’t seem surprised, the Marquis shouted again with his eyes wide open.

"You knew about this? Yes, there's no way you didn't know. This is all because of your misbehavior!"

The loud voice hurt her ears. She could taste the fishy taste of blood as if her mouth was ripped open, but Julia kept her gaze down and remained silent.

The Marquis glared at her as if he was about to devour her and continued to speak.

"I told you many times…"

"…"

“If this marriage is ruined, you will no longer be my daughter!"

 "…It’s up to you.”

Julia muttered quietly. The Marquis couldn't believe his ears and asked back.

"What?"

“You can throw me out, or you can kill me. Do as you please." 

Julia's blue eyes lost their light and became dimmed.

 She really didn't want to think about anything right now.


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